Jonni Thunder
Author name: TBoarder -- author email
Recipient name: Cloudtrader
Requested character(s): Jonni Thunder, Shiva Woosan / Lady Shiva
Story title: Thunderstruck
Rating: appropriate for adults only
Disclaimer: Characters owned by DC, not me. Done for fun, not money. Please dont sue.
Spoiler warnings: None, though it does build on events in INFINITY INC, Jonni Thunder's 15 year old mini-series, and the JLA story Crisis Times Five.


My name is Jonni Thunder, private detective in La-La Land. I hate my job. It wasn't always this way. Years ago, when I was still working with my dad, it was much different. We had actual cases, police contacts, and a client list a mile long... the whole nine yards. Then Dad died and I got shanghaied into the super-hero community with my very own pet thunderbolt... that I later found out was an alien bent on, and I'm not making this up, taking over the world. I lost the thunderbolt, and in the process, my reputation as well. Now the only cases I get are from jealous actors or actresses trying to find out if their wives or girlfriends are cheating on them. I'm a gossip columnist's best friend, the lowest form of life on the planet.

It was looking like the start of a normal day for me when it all started, the golden rays of the sun were just starting to break their way through the perpetual smog that covers the city. I do most of my surveillance work at night under the harsh city lights, so any chance I get to see the sun is welcome. Of course, being a night person, I promptly sat at my desk, leaned back, and prepared to catch another hour or two of much needed sleep... One of the nicer perks of being a one-woman agency. I barely got my eyes closed when the phone rang. This early, it couldn't have been a job. Most of Hollywood keeps my schedule. Anything between sunrise and noon is do-not-disturb time, unless it's a bill collector. The harsh ringing reverberated through my body, forcing me out of my peaceful slumber. I wearily reached over and picked up the phone... It's always best to give the bill collectors a "check's in the mail" answer. Keeps them off my back for a few more days. "Thunder Investigations..." barely escaped from my sleep-deprived body.

"May I speak to Jonni Thunder?" A woman answered. Sexy voice... apparently the bill collectors had a new tactic. Damn.

"Speaking." I replied.

"This is Oracle... You come highly recommended by the Pemberton estate." She had my attention now. Everybody on the planet's heard of Oracle, the Justice League's famed computer operator and tactician. We all heard her in our heads during Mageddon's attack on Earth last year as she coordinated humanity's attack on the creature. I'd forgotten how sexy her voice sounded...

It's the second line that actually caught me though. Sylvester Pemberton, the Star Spangled Kid, leader of Infinity Inc. and the only man I'd ever fallen for, before he was murdered on the day I finally told him what he meant to me. Damn... the memories flooded back. It's been four years since that happened and the wounds still obviously haven't healed. Of course, Oracle had to mention him, otherwise I'd be thinking this was a crank call... nobody knew of my relationship to him besides the members of Infinity Inc.

I wasn't about to get myself drawn back into their world. "I'm sorry. I'm not for hire."

"I'm sorry..." Oracle said. "I didn't mean to bring back any bad memories. Syl was a good man."

One of the best, damnit. "Still not for hire..."

"I wouldn't have called you if it wasn't absolutely necessary. I need somebody to do a surveillance job for me who can get to LAX in the next hour."

"Why not ask Superman?"

"This isn't the kind of job that's up Big Blue's alley. He's good, but he can't do subtle very well. A plane is arriving from Tibet with two women, Lady Elaine Marsh-Morton and Sandra Woosan. All I need for you to do is to follow them until one of my operatives can get there from Gotham."

"That's it?" No, I kept telling myself. Don't get involved.

"That's it. When my operative shows up, your job is finished. No fuss, no muss, and you can walk away with payment for two weeks of work in one day."

"Plus expenses?"

"Plus expenses."

Damn, I didn't think I was this easy. A sexy voice and a chance to catch up on my rent is apparently all it takes for me.

"I'll download their dossiers to your computer. Read them thoroughly before their plane lands. These are two of the most dangerous women in the world, and I don't want you tangling with them if you don't need to."

Lady Shiva

I was lucky to get to the airport in time anyway. Apparently Oracle's never had to deal with traffic in LA or parking at LAX, otherwise she'd have reconsidered and sent Superman anyway. Once I was there though, the job went smooth as silk... at least this part of it.

Carrying my surveillance equipment in a duffle bag, I was able to blend in with the other travelers as I stood back in the terminal and watched as they disembarked, apparently the only two passengers on their flight. A state of euphoric shock hit me almost immediately when I saw them... they were absolutely stunning. Their dossier pictures did them absolutely no justice whatsoever. Lady Elaine Marsh-Morton, known more commonly as Lady Vic, was wearing a gorgeous dark blue dress-suit, while Sandra Woosan, Lady Shiva was wearing (and I use the term liberally... I'm not sure how it stayed on her body) a thin oriental dress slit high enough up her leg to make you go "whoa." The euphoria quickly subsided when it hit me how vulnerable I was right then. Airport security wouldn't let me in with my gun, and from what Oracle told me of their fighting skills, I'd be a dead woman if they caught me without one. Fun.

I was able to follow then into customs without a hitch, thankfully. While there, they picked up a package and immediately made their way to a waiting limo forcing me to hail a cab to follow them to their downtown hotel. So far, this was looking like easy money for me, save for the ridiculous cab fare.

A quick bribe to the desk clerk gave me their room number and an additional bribe to the apartment manager in the building across the street gave me a nice hideaway on the apartment building's roof with a perfect view into the ladies room. I set up my surveillance equipment and settled in, comfortably out of sight but able to watch their room with my video camera hooked up to a portable LCD screen. I just love these modern private eye gimmicks sometimes.

I couldn't afford a unidirectional microphone yet, so I had to watch without sound. Lady Vic and Lady Shiva entered and put their package immediately into the room's electronic safe. Seven three three eight six nine two... I took note of the combination as Shiva entered it. Any conversation that was occurring seemed to be extremely one-sided as Lady Vic chatted and Shiva coldly ignored her. I wasn't overly curious about what Vic may have been saying until she grabbed Shiva by the top of her dress and yanked it down.

Wow, this looked like it could get interesting... My interest certainly perked up.

While it was obvious that Shiva was going commando just by looking at her dress, it was another thing to see her without said dress. I barely noticed Vic continuing whatever conversation they were having or Shiva continuing to ignore her, instead noticing that Shiva didn't even attempt to re-clothe herself.

Before I even knew what I was doing, I unsnapped and unzipped my slacks, sliding them down enough to push my free hand inside. Lady Vic was trying to control the situation, pushing Shiva against the wall to lick her breasts and to eventually work her way between the exotic Asian's legs. Shiva looked like she was barely acknowledging what Vic was doing, leaning back against the wall, but showing no emotion or reaction to what was occurring.

I didn't have nearly as much self-control as I fingered myself on the nearby rooftop, barely able to hold the screen steady with my other hand, watching the beautiful British blonde cup her mouth between Shiva's legs. I'd already brought myself to one orgasm and was diligently working on the second when it finally looked like Shiva came. Her body barely shifted, the only telltale sign of her orgasm being a slight tightening of her thighs and Vic pulling off of her crotch and swallowing her tribute. Damn, the woman had stamina as well as poise. If Id had a woman like Lady Vic between my legs for as long as Shiva did, I'd have had half a dozen orgasms by now, at the very least.

Lady Vic slid up and snaked her way to the double bed, restarting conversation with Shiva again. Shiva sat at the room's desk, next to the safe, again not even attempting to put her dress back on. I think it's safe to say that she at least approved of Vic's actions, since the Lady Elaine was still alive. Even so, I could still see the cold tension from here. Vic chatted and lifted her own dress up, showing that she was going commando as well, and started pleasuring herself, which Shiva ignored as well. Ah well, I wasn't ignoring her at least. The show that she was giving was quickly bringing me to my second orgasm until...

"Enjoying the show?" I heard from in front of me. I jerked my hand out of my slacks and shot my eyes up from the monitor to see none other than the Black Canary standing in front of me, a Cheshire cat grin on her face. Damn.

"Um... ahem..." I cleared my throat, trying to think of something to say. "I was... umm... Oracle just told me to watch them until you showed up."

"Mind if I see what was getting you so hot and bothered?" Canary asked, holding her hand out for the LCD, which I handed her immediately, taking the opportunity of having two free hands to zip and button up my slacks. "Wow, I see Lady Vic hasn't lost any of her verve..."

"Her verve?"

Canary just smiled and handed the monitor back to me. "She's a tad insatiable... as I'm sure you can see here."

"She looks it." I said. "I'm sorry, I'm Jonni Thunder. I'm sure Oracle's told you everything?"

"I got the cliff's notes version; lesbian private eye, former meta, good hand-to-hand combatant, damn good with a gun though, none with a better eye for detail in the industry."

Wow, Oracle was as good as the rumors said. "That's pretty much it. So why are you slumming here?"

"Not slumming. Vic, Shiva, and I have some pretty complex histories with each other. They were able to smuggle an object here from Tibet and Oracle wants to make sure that it doesn't end up in the wrong hands. That's where I come into play. Problem is, Vic and I are pretty evenly matched. Shiva can kick my ass eight ways to Sunday though unless I'm in absolute top form. You think that you might be up for a little overtime?"

The plan was simple. Black Canary takes on Shiva while I keep Lady Vic occupied so she doesn't interfere with Canary's concentration. If an opening presents itself, I should also try to get what's in the safe and get the hell outta dodge; a simple plan for a serious bruising. The things I'll do for a pretty smile...

I took the long way, walking downstairs, across the street, and taking the elevator up to Vic and Shiva's floor. Checking my watch and holding my patented Fiesta at the ready, safety off, I ticked off the seconds until our designated time. I kicked the door in and fired off a warning shot in the direction of the still masturbating Lady Vic. Out the window and across the street, I saw Black Canary leap off the building, throwing a swing-line up to catch her fall. What is it with non-powered heroes and heroines thinking that they can leap off of tall buildings so much and get away with it with their lives intact anyway? The first time I'd try something like that, I'd probably be street pizza.

Damn, I let myself get distracted by Canary's acrobatics and ended up with Shiva's foot across my jaw. If my life weren't playing a fast forward in front of my eyes, I would've been making some kind of smart ass comment about how "she kicks high" or possibly just staring at her poetic nudity in motion as she immediately spun when Canary crashed through the window.

Lady Vic was already on her feet, rolling off the other side of the bed, away from me. I fired off two more shots in her direction before cautiously making my way towards her. That turned out to be another mistake. Her dossier had me expecting her to come at me using her ancestral Bundie daggers, not a freaking huge machine gun. I was just barely able to dive for cover at the foot of the bed, popping off another shot under the bed
towards her. I quickly crawled away to the other side of the bed and noticed that my jacket was stained red. Shit, 10 years on the job, and I chose now to take my first bullet.

As luck would have it, Shiva was fully occupied by Canary, fighting her completely in the nude, a sight I will never forget, and I ended up face first in front of the safe. I was able to shift my gun over to my bad arm, barely able to hold it steady as blood flowed freely down it. Seven three three eight six nine two... It felt like it took me forever to enter those seven simple numbers into the keypad, all the while expecting to feel another bullet explode through my spinal column or my skull. A soft click and the door popped open. I yanked the door fully open, grabbed the waiting treasure inside and half crawled and half rolled my way to the door just as the beautiful Lady Elaine let loose with another burst in my direction.

Rolling left, I took full cover in the hallway just outside. Not that the thin, plaster walls would stop a machine gun bullet, but it could buy me a few seconds at least. I took a quick glance down at my bounty, a gorgeous yellow oriental oil lantern covered with intricate illustrations of men and women with bolts of lightning emanating from their nude bodies. Lady Vic made her way out to the hallway and had her machine gun leveled at
my temple when it hit me. "Aw, fuck me..."

A crack of lightning, a blast of thunder, and my life was changed forever.

Black Canary

Three days later, I was in my office, still nursing my wounded shoulder when she came in. Wearing a form fitting red suit jacket and a red skirt that showed off more leg than could possibly be legal, even in California; she walked confidently up to my desk. "Ms. Thunder, my name is Dinah Lance. I'd like to hire you."

"I'm not taking any jobs right now, Ms. Lance. Not from my usual clientele, and definitely not from you or Oracle." After the debacle from earlier this week, I didn't want to have anything to do with them.

Dinah sat at the corner of my desk, crossing her legs. "Jonni, I know you're upset about earlier, but I really didn't mean for that to happen. Neither did Oracle. Honestly, we didn't even know they were smuggling in a genie bottle."

It was sitting on my desk, untouched since that fateful day. Something so simple, yet so powerful; it saved our lives, yet ruined mine. It was bad enough before, when I had a simple alien made from electricity possessing my body. All she could do was flash fry a few bad guys and make ridiculous plots to take over the world. This time it was different.

Not an alien, instead a being from the 5th dimension, who lives beyond space and time; her name was Mkf. It sounded like static you'd hear while changing radio stations. Five of these things are supposed to be on Earth, all with the power to shake continents with a thought. One is "hanging out" with J.J. Thunder (no relation) in the JSA, and it looks like I'm gonna be saddled with the second one. The magic words, I'd found out, are their names pronounced backwards. Mkf backwards somehow ended up being "fuck me." Apparently serendipity is usually a deciding factor in these beings' release.

"Look..." Dinah said after a long pause. "We're sorry. I'm sorry. I should've prepared better, not put you in that position. I underestimated Lady Vic, never expected her love of antique weaponry to extend to World War One machine guns."

"Not your fault." I whispered, barely audible to myself, let alone her. She heard it anyway.

"It doesn't make me feel any less guilty, Jonni. I shouldn't have put you in that kind of danger."

I managed a slight smile. "Like you could've stopped me. You've got my ear now. Why do you want to hire me?"

Dinah stood up and walked around to my side of the desk. "I'm looking for someone."

"Uh huh..."

"You see, I'm kinda seeing this girl... her name is Oracle. She likes me and I like her, if you catch my meaning. Anyway, we both feel guilty about something that happened recently and we decided upon a way to try to make amends."

"Uh huh..."

"So I'm asking you, Jonni, don't turn us away." Dinah practically breathed those words out, sending a chill up my spine.

"I don't know, Dinah. Metas and me usually don't mix very well. It always ends badly for one of us." Jade... Zatanna... Yolanda... Syl... either the breakups are punctuated by both of us in tears, or by me in tears, alone in front of a tombstone.

"I doesn't always have to be that way..." she sighed breathily, sitting on my desk again, this time right beside me, crossing her long legs. She leaned in and kissed me hungrily, her moist, red lips practically engulfing mine.

I pulled back to catch my breath. "I guess it doesn't..." I answered, barely remembering what Dinah said before. I placed a hand on her thigh and pulled her in closer to kiss her again, sliding it up her skirt and onto her bare hip. Definitely wearing nothing under it, I noticed. Our kiss deepened as my other hand slid up and pulled open Dinah's jacket with on swift motion, baring her breasts. I pulled my lips from hers and moaned into her cheek "Mmmm god, Dinah... Fuck me..."


The bright yellow thunderbolt appeared beside us. "What is it you wish, my mistress?"

Damn, this is gonna take some getting used to...


Jonni Thunder and her electrical form

Reference images taken from the cover of INFINITY INC. #24, the cover of THE QUESTION #28, the cover of JLA #99 (1972), and the cover of issue #1 of the JONNI THUNDER A.K.A. THUNDERBOLT miniseries.

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