Snapshots by Te 10/98 Disclaimers: Alex isn't mine, but Anatoly is. Spoilers: Not a one. Summary: A few glimpses of Alex's time with Anatoly. Ratings Note: NC-17 for some m/m interaction, dark things. Author's Note: I dreamt of vampires (not these) and when I woke up a whole slew of these things dumped themselves in my head. Random snapshots, and I make no claims as to chronological order or reality. Acknowledgments: To my Sister Blue, because. To Dawn Sharon for wonderful audiencing and general inspiration. To Rae for encouragement and general Rae-ness, as well as fine beta. To Di for many helpful suggestions. Finally, to Rye, for wonderful beta in the face of assorted madnesses. (Some of them weren't even *mine*!) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Snapshots by Te Daddy793@aol.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And I knew Love will tear you apart. -- "Malibu" by Hole Anatoly leaned against the armoire and took in his lover's form. Still and lovely, seated on the burgundy coverlet. Sometimes he had to teach. Other times he only wished to fill the silences. "You will leave me one day, and make your own... partner." Alex remained silent. Anatoly hid a quiet smile. "Get him to fix his hair, and to shave. An eternity with stubble is a--" He caught his own slip but it was much too late. Alex's voice was cold. "What would you have done had I been... imperfect... in your eyes?" "Shaved you clean." And Anatoly wanted to call the words back, but he'd promised never to lie to this one. He could see Alexei gritting his teeth. He wondered if he dreamed of flight. "Alexei..." Silence. "Please speak to me." "Forgive me, Anatoly, but I am reminded of rape." "This cannot be unfamiliar to you--" "I've never taken someone against their will!" "You will, Alexei, you will." "Such a fucking smug bastard, aren't you? Why did you *do* this to me?" "Can you honestly say it was better before? The chill, the risk, the pain on cold nights? It's always so cold here..." "The ends justify the means. I see." Alexei's voice was a marvel of professionalism, and it made Anatoly's throat ache. "Is it so awful to meet yourself?" "It isn't to you?" Anatoly reached out to touch the other man, halted the movement. "No. No, it isn't at all." Alex pinched the bridge of his nose, breathed deep. "Just another change to get used to. Another life for me to lead. No, don't tell me of its beauty. Just... just leave me alone for now." "Anything you wish." ****** Anatoly stared at the vaguely charred patch of ground by the dead tree, pretended for a moment to taste ash on the wind. A foolish fantasy, he was much too late for that. "Alexei... so much waste. You were supposed to be mine forever." He stayed for a time, and when he turned away, he did not leave the rose behind. He had brought it for just that purpose, but there was no joy in symbolism without someone to mock it with. ****** This Is Necessary. Life feeds on life feeds on life... --"Disgustipated" by Tool This was always the hardest part with the new ones -- the first kill. Anatoly turned away from the young woman struggling in his grasp and took in Alexei. The younger man was glassy-eyed, looking somewhat ill. Anatoly wondered if, perhaps, he should have waited until Alexei was truly starving. "Oh, God, I don't think I can--" "Of course you can. Is it so wrong to enjoy what you've done your entire life?" And it was easy then, as he had known it would be. Anatoly would never grow tired of killers. Afterward, Alexei crouched by the corpse, stroked her still face. "I feel... I feel..." "You've never been so alive, have you?" ****** They sat on the couch, huddled under down and watching the fireplace. The glass firescreen was darkened carefully, but the flames were still lovely. "Tell me a story, Anatoly." "What do you want me to tell you, beautiful one?" "Anything, anything at all. I'm cold--" "It's because you fed too much." "Yes, mama, I'm sorry, but hold me anyway and tell me a story." "You take advantage of my cuddlesome nature." Alex snuggled close. "Mmm... you can punish me for it later." "I will, too." Sharp lance of pain in his shoulder, a rough tongue diving in for a taste. "I know." There was a smile in Alex's voice. Perhaps he could learn to like the fur-lined manacles. "Shall I tell you of how it was? Of the one who made me?" "Mm-hmm. I'd like to know who taught *you* how to speak in capitals." "Ah, indoctrination stories. You are a fascist, beautiful one." "I know, I'm terrible. I think that's at least two floggings you owe me now." "My count was eighteen." Drowsy whisper. "Always with the exaggeration. Anyone ever tell you you were a drama queen?" "Yes, but none of them are alive." "Neither are we." "Tsk. Semantics don't suit you." "Mmm... good thing nudity and mass murder do, hmm?" ****** //I love you, I love you, I love you.// "Yes, please Ana--" Anatoly swept down Alex's body with kisses, needing to taste every inch, marveling at the will of his hands. They moved up along the other man's torso, a steady caress of desire, and Anatoly wished for forever. He would settle for this moment. ****** Come here, I think you're beautiful. -- "Some Kind of Stranger" Sisters of Mercy Anatoly watched Alexei from the doorway. The younger man didn't move, but there was no rest in the stillness. No calm in the quiet. "Why did you take me?" Anatoly wondered if they'd ever be free of this particular conversation. He knew he should have asked, but he also knew refusal would not have been an option. Perhaps it was better this way. "I wanted you." "And... that's all?" "Does there need to be more?" Alex waved his hand, a small motion of frustration mirrored by the -- seemingly magical -- appearance of a frown-line. It was easy to forget that this one had been older than he. "It just... Why should you be allowed to do that? And yes, I know it's a stupid question. Answer me anyway." "Because I can. Alexei, you are in love with your self- discipline. Would you have had it had your life not been so... small?" "And I'm angry now because you're striking at the very heart of my self-hood." "You've been in the company of psychoanalysts, haven't you?" A chuckle. "Forgive me, Ana, for I have sinned." Anatoly restrained himself from pouncing on the man immediately, more to prove he could than for any other reason. //Heavens save me from the generation of self-denial.// Alex lay back on the bed, kicking one foot idly. "So... we've established that you took me because you could. But *why* did you want me?" Anatoly moved to the head of the bed, found himself wishing for a twin for the very first time. "Are you fishing for compliments?" A grin. "Shamelessly." "Move up closer, then." "What big teeth you have, grandma." "And sharp, too." Alex complied, a languid crawl that left his own mouth nestled against Ana's throat. Ana could feel his lips move, but couldn't quite make out the words. "So you want to know why." "Mm-hmm." The vibration made him shiver. //You make me feel so young--// "You already know you're beautiful." "Yes, and damned sexy." Anatoly heard himself laugh and thought of shackles. Chains. Pretty prisons for this one... "I'm also quite fond of confidence." A nod, soft brush of hair tickling his face. //Don't leave me.// "And your careful meld of lies and truths in that little proposal--" "Eh. I've had practice." "It was still lovely." "Did Peskow know...?" Anatoly shrugged. "I'm not sure, really. I always let him keep his secrets." A snort. "Does *anyone* beat him?" "You can, if you wish." "Yeah, but... it just wouldn't be the same now." "You kids today, with all your rules..." "Old man, if it wasn't for my rules I wouldn't have been here to be so soundly taken advantage of." "I do like taking advantage of you." Ana could feel the smile against his neck. "Hurt me." "Anything you wish, Alexei." ****** And the sun goes down I watch you slip away And the sun goes down I walk into the waves And the sun goes down I watch you slip away And I would... --"Malibu" Hole "Harder." "Ana... Ana are you sure?" You won't hurt--" Broken with a gasp. "Well... more than I want." "Jesus, I feel like I'm going to bite it off." "You won't, beautiful one. I was just kidding about that biologically female thing." Chuff of laughter against his groin. "I don't want to hurt you, Ana..." //Then don't leave.// "Do it. Take me... I want it." Alexei's mouth was a demon of teeth, the flick of tongue a shock despite the age and familiarity of the act. He could feel-- He could feel the pulse of blood as it left his body, and fantasized the ability to see his strength filling the younger man. //I would give you everything. You will never forgive me for having done this to you...// "Alexei, God--" The moan around his length was as sweet and painful as anything between them. He needed more, but Alexei was giving all he could... Ana pushed him off with a frustrated grunt. Turned Alexei on his belly and dove in, tasting the ghosts of mortality, the dirt and reality always the same even with just the barest hint-- "Ana, Ana--" There was no sacrifice to give Alexei this, no pleasure so great he could not share in it. He felt himself healing, but the blood was still slick. Ana slipped in to the hilt, pulled Alexei up by the hips and rode him hard. The cries were liquid, their music a sharp pain in his soul. It seemed cruel to have only this for a reminder. To know himself be-souled and something like human only when he ached for a love he'd never have. But Ana had always seen the worth in such things, and he knew this memory would stay with him always. Even if the man would not. ****** Anatoly buried his face against Alexei's throat, and began to tug at his clothes. For once, Alexei wasn't helping. "But I'm so *hungry*, Ana." "Tsk. You kids today. 'But Anaaaa! It's been so *long* since I've killed anyone truly interesting.'" "Mmm... I'll settle for chubby and ready to die." Anatoly sighed dramatically, placed his fingertips to his temples and closed his eyes. "I see... I see you cutting a swathe through teenaged American girls." Moderately shocked laughter. "Christ, that's sick." "Mm-hmm. Hurry and feed, beautiful one, I want to lick you clean." ****** Oh, baby I'm so tired... -- "I Would" by Jane's Addiction Anatoly stood behind his lover, watching him adjust his bow tie minutely in the antique mirror. It seemed too soon for this, for sending his lover to hunt alone. To let Alexei choose a role to play. Ana smiled ruefully, briefly considered muttering something about children trying to run before they'd learn to walk properly. A brief quirk of the younger man's eyebrow was all the stifling he required to hold back the thought. However... "There are things you must remember, Alexei." A sigh. "Like what?" "We do this -- learn their names, touch them gently -- because we must remember that we are not gods." Alexei was thoughtful. "A touchstone to lost humanity." "Something like that... though I like the way 'God' and 'Anatoly' sound in the same sentence." "I seem to recall 'God' and 'Alexei' in the same sentence, too." "A fluke." "You have all the answers, don't you?" "Comes with age." "Like wisdom?" "No, beautiful one. Wisdom comes only with pain." Alexei smiled at him, brushed soft lips over his cheek, and walked out the door. "Then let me be a fool." Anatoly closed his eyes, but did not turn to see him go. "Anything you wish." ~~~~ End. ~~~~