Snapshots III: Mulder by Te 10/98 Disclaimers: Mostly not mine. I'm working on those frequent slasher miles, though. Spoilers: Not a one. Summary: A glimpse of things from Mulder's point of view. Ratings Note: R for implied violence, m/m interaction. Author's Note: Moments from the Dead Things universe. "Taedium Vitae" is maybe necessary for this one, though I have no idea about the rest. Thanks to the lovely and talented Imajiru, all of them can be found here: http://unicorn-x.net/te/ Acknowledgments: To my Sister Blue, whom I would follow anywhere, and not just for that sweet ass. Thanks to Alicia for many helpful comments and to Rye for fine beta. Thanks also goes to MJ, for a truly helpful thought. All remaining mistakes and ambiguities are, as always, my own fault. Feedback: Yes. PLEASE. Always. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Snapshots III: Mulder by Te Daddy793@aol.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Moonlight on black water and Alex was still, so still. He should have been dancing. Mulder was. But then he looked down at himself, lazy loose sprawl on a high dune, and realized the rhythm was only in his head. Or perhaps in the air. Sea wash and night birds crying to the stars... //My God.// This was the endless and he was a part of it, and would always be. Never to change again, never die. Mulder felt something clench, and was surprised to see sand running from his fist, gentle salt-breeze carrying it to where his lover stood. Alex had his face to the sky, as if calling something, or perhaps listening. Mulder thrummed with the power of the universe, even if it was really only the blood of the little old man now some 4 feet below him. //Will it always be this way? //Why doesn't... something... rail at me? Strike me down?// Mulder thought of how it should've been, growing old and achy, or gasping out his last on some anonymous stretch of stained pavement. He wondered if he'd have come back, somehow. Some fore-destined life now crushed out without the basic essence of his soul to make it real. He wondered if this was the real truth beyond the biological devoids: predators walking the night roads forever, clutching greedily at stolen infinity, while their new bodies lived soulless. //Mine forever, and given to no other.// Something seized at his ankle and Mulder came to himself with a start. Alex was staring up at him happily, though he looked too neat. His hair was too short to be ruffled by the wind. "Time to go, beloved." ****** He felt the sun go down from within the web of his dreams. A soothing darkness to hide him from his enemies, from his life. //All gone...// He was safe again, and there were cool lips with just a hint of softness pressing into his neck. There would be a voice soon, he knew, and he clutched to the web a little while longer, fragile strands breaking within his grasp, one by one. "Always, Mulder, always. I didn't know I loved you but I did..." Whisper of husk and shameless adoration. Shameless when Mulder's eyes were closed, at least. This pain was bright, and Mulder could no longer stand such things... unless he could tell himself he dreamed. "... so much I can give you now... anything you want, anything..." ****** Mulder watched Alex leave for the hunt with a mixture of pride and apprehension. He'd already hunted himself, would not need to feed for several days... and he still did not care to do so with the other man. He didn't think he'd ever be able to understand how he could get so close to his victims -- smiling, learning their names, making them laugh -- and *still* rip their throats out. Alex had tried to explain it as a memory tool, a touchstone to humility, but Mulder had never been one to say grace at meals. And he saw no purpose in holding close to a species he was no part of, anymore. He wondered, though. Alex had spoken of it as though it were a Rule, and, as far as he knew, only Anatoly had seen fit to burn such things into his brain. Or perhaps Anatoly was the only one he'd *let* do that. Not for the first time, Mulder wondered just what their time together had been like... "I'd take him back, you know." "You've mentioned that." Anatoly's presence was not much of a shock... the man seemed to force the air from a room. "Sorry, I really don't like repeating myself." "Except for idiots like me?" A muffled laugh from behind and Mulder turned to face him, leaning back against the plate glass window Alex alternated between eyeing suspiciously and treasuring. Atmosphere. "I understand you'll be leaving here soon?" "Too far north, summer's coming, etc. Why are you here, Anatoly?" "You could call me Ana." "I could kick your Continental ass." "You could try." Mulder sighed, squeezed his eyes shut in an effort to either make the other man vanish by mysticism or to figure out precisely why he was angry, he couldn't decide which. When he opened them, Anatoly was seated comfortably on his couch. "I have no problems repeating myself. Why are you here?" "Call it a follow-up visit, Mulder." "Checking the progress of the difficult patient?" "If you'd like." Mulder just stared, and Anatoly returned the look blandly. Mulder wondered how long it would take to grow strong enough to snap the older man's neck. "Centuries." "That's very irritating." "Yes." Mulder broke off the stare and went to the kitchen, opened the refrigerator -- empty of course -- and wondered again why the hell Alex had insisted on buying the thing. "Keeping the nicer bodies?" Mulder answered without thinking. "No, no, they're in the shed." Pleased laughter. Mulder could almost feel the hand raising itself to ruffle his hair. //What a good monster.// "Alex broke me of that habit." "Yes, Alex. I heard you the first time, you know. I love him, and he loves me, etc., forever, always, blah, blah, blah." "You have all the romance of a goat." "You've dated many goats?" "Times were hard in the dark ages." Mulder heard himself laugh and gave up. "Can I offer you something? Wax apple? Maybe some nice incense?" But Anatoly was gone. ****** Mulder pounced as soon as Alex walked in the door, slammed him face-first into the carpet. Grey now in the new home. Mulder had already called for new to be installed. Indigo. Though he had to admit a pattern of sprawled Alexes might add just the proper something to the utterly dull color. "You're lucky I like this sort of thing, Mulder." No one should be allowed to sound that sexy with his nose flattened by floor. It might have had something to do with his position straddling Alex's hips, though. "... you wanted?" "Hmmm...?" Alex flipped himself over, careful to dislodge Mulder as little as possible. "I asked if there was something you wanted?" The gleam in Alex's eyes was lovely, but still shadowed. He was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Mulder only became aware of the frown on his face by its mirror. Alex caught his hand, ran his thumb over his palm. "What's wrong...?" Another unspoken 'beloved' and, abruptly, Mulder had had enough of himself. In this at least he could give a little. He flattened himself along Alex's body, nipped lightly at his lip before settling himself by one terrifyingly lovely ear. "Alex..." A shiver from beneath and lips pressed against his own ear. "What can I give you?" "Whisper in my ear... like you used to when you thought I slept." Alex stiffened for a harsh moment before relaxing again. When his voice came, it was a low rasp of pain. "What are you asking me, Mulder?" "Tell me you love me." Mulder felt the brush of lashes against his cheek, knew the eyes had closed in the weight of relief. "You are my beloved--" "Forever." And Mulder kissed him softly, leaned easily into the rough caress. "I'll give you anything..." Another kiss. "Forever." The words continued to spill, a jumble of languages, quiet sounds of answered need, whispers of an eternity of dreams, miracles calm and easy within reach. And Mulder was grateful for the passage of tears, wanting nothing to halt his promises of forever at each expectant pause. Life and love. Alex for an age of night. ~~~~ End. ~~~~