Failure of Reason
by Te
January 2003

For Mei_X. *g*

Do not look for sense here. You will not find it.


"I cannot *believe* you got us into this, Frase."

"Really, Ray --"

"Do you know how much I cannot believe this?"

"I can't say --"

"I am no longer using contractions, Fraser, that's how bad this is.
I am the anti-Data."

"Well, actually, you just used the compound word 'that's,' which,
as you know --"

"Is it true what they say? About how in space no one can hear you
scream? Because I want to test that right about now."


"Do *not* raise that eyebrow at me, Fraser. We're in space, I'm
peeing into a tube, and we're in *space*. I do not need the

"A functional water closet is really a lot more than one can
expect --"

"This pee is going to be recycled, isn't it?"


"I hope you drink it. I hope it tastes *awful*."

"Now that's just petty, Ray."

"Petty? No. This is not petty. You want to know what petty is? No,
don't answer, because I'm going to *tell* you what petty is."

"I'm all ears."

"Didn't I just tell you not to answer?"



"Oh, you wanted an answer to that?"

"I hate you so much I can feel it in my *spleen*, Fraser!"


"Oh, come on. I know you want to say it. 'In point of fact, Ray, my
village idiot of a partner, there are no nerve endings in the spleen.'"

"I wasn't going to say that."

"Don't get prissy with me. You were *so* going to say that. You
were *itching* to say that. You are covered with the invisible and
torturous RASH of wanting to say that --"

"The spleen *is* the traditional organ of excessive and/or volatile
emotions, dammit!"


"Terribly sorry."

"You just cursed!"

"You're right, that was --"

"You cursed at me!"

"... really shouldn't have --"

"You have a FILTHY mouth!"

"Will you stop interrupting me?!"

"... no."

"Well, all right -- wait, what did you say, Ray?"

"I said: no."

"That's not polite at all."

"Funny how I'm not polite at all, either, and also still really pissed off
about being wrapped up like a sausage and trapped in a glorified tin
can several thousand miles above my warm, comfortable apartment."

"I always thought your furniture was rather boxy."

"You sleep on a COT!"

"My sense of aesthetics remains intact."

"You wear -- waitaminute. You're trying to distract me!"

"I'm really not. And by the way, have you noticed how very blue
the lake they call Michigan is from up here?"

"How very... oh no. I don't think so. You are *not* doing this to me.
I refuse to be distracted from this!"

"From what?"



"I hate you. So much. My hate for you is... is... AUGH!"

"Freeze-dried ice cream?"