Have a quote, hmm?
And he worries about lecturing at Gunn when they're doing research.
Will
Gunn think he's being patronising, Wesley with all his opportunities
and his
ivy-covered degree? *Is* he being patronising? And he starts to wonder
if he
should be explaining more, or explaining less, or explaining *differently*,
until he ends up stumbling over his words, back-tracking and stuttering
until Gunn cuffs him lightly on the back of the head and says, "Come
on,
English, just spit it out!" Not even Cordelia rolling her eyes and
telling
him that he lectures at *everyone*, not just Gunn, is enough to reassure
him.
And all the self-monitoring and second-guessing is making him twitchy
and
uncomfortable. And he's worried that Gunn will notice, and misinterpret
the
reason, and the thought of *seeming* uncomfortable around him is enough
to
make him even more uncomfortable in itself, and he can hear himself
getting
more and more prim and white and *english* all the time.
He doesn't know what to do...
Books have always held answers for him, so he surreptitiously downloaded
the
reading list from UCLA's first year African American studies course,
and
picked up a couple of the texts. Then he worried that Gunn would think
he
was attempting to appropriate his culture if he found him reading them,
and
he hid them away in his apartment as if they were the most shameful
of porn.
*