Other Paths V: Weapons by Te 9/98 Disclaimers: They belong to the Surfer Boy, but he doesn't love them like *I* do... Often. Spoilers: None. Summary: Decisions. Ratings Note: NC-17 Author's Note: I dreamed this. Again. The series is as follows: "Nameless" "Distance and Possession" "Lucky Men" "Liberty" "All of the Animals" "Home" "Weapons" Pray for my subconscious, would you? Acknowledgments: To Dawn Sharon, Alicia, and Kass for distracting me enough to write this and to Spike and Nancy for fine, fine beta. All remaining mistakes are my own. Feedback: PLEASE. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Other Paths V: Weapons by Te Daddy793@aol.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Walter Skinner walked into his apartment and couldn't keep from smiling. Even without the more obvious signs -- boots by the door, leather tossed in an oddly *deliberate* fashion on the couch -- he could always tell when Alex was home. The place had a fullness, even when the other man was just lazing neatly and quietly in some corner of his bedroom. Which he wasn't. Walter took a moment to listen, and heard a series of soft, economical grunts coming from the small gym he'd installed in the spare bedroom. He cocked an eyebrow and walked in. Alex was kicking the hell out of his punching bag. He hadn't bothered to change out of his regular clothes and his shirt was clinging to his back. The jeans had torn. It was clear Alex had been here for a while. Another flurry of kicks. He knew that Alex knew he was there, but he didn't turn. Walter was just about to settle himself in to wait when Alex started punching. He hadn't taped his knuckles and by the fifth... Walter caught the arm, felt muscles twitch like snakes for a moment before the younger man subsided. "Talk to me." Tight shake of the damply dark head and Alex was leaning into the bag, breathing hard. A few drops of sweat hit the hardwood floor. "Alex--" "Do you really want to know?" He turned then and Walter took in the heavy flush, the overbright eyes, the set of the fine mouth. He ran his thumb over Alex's wrist and the other man shivered. "Do you?" Walter thought about the question as his hand roamed up the tensed arm; the skin damp and sticky even through the shirt. Alex looked at him evenly, but it was a deceptive blankness. There *had* been other times when he'd found Alex here, working off the aggression of a bad day while honing the machine to higher and higher levels of lethality. The mindset was more than familiar. This wasn't the same. Alex would simply have said "Don't ask" if it was. Walter settled his palm on the nape. "Yeah, I want to know." Alex turned away again, but shifted to give Walter better access to his neck and shoulders. "Mulder wants me back." Spoken into the bag, uneven and with an edge of black humor. Walter felt something clench... //Don't leave me.// ... but settled for pressing his fingers a little harder into Alex's skin. "Of course he does." The brow furrowed and Alex moved a little against the bag. Rough whisper of canvas on flesh. "What do you mean by that?" "I mean that if he *hadn't* tried to get you back at some point I would've had to consider committing him for real." Alex snorted at that, but it was muted. "Walter..." //Don't leave me.// "What did he say?" "That he was sorry, that I was right, that he... that he needed me. And then he kissed me, and I let him." //Don't leave me.// Walter let his hand wander into the spiky hair, tried to tug Alex into facing him. "What else?" "That it was empty without me.... I told him I loved you..." The words should've been a redundancy; Alex had said it in a dozen different ways in the past weeks, but there was thickness in Walter's throat. //Don't leave me.// "...that I didn't want to... want to fuck anything else up." Alex looked at him, finally, and his eyes were much too open for this. Too early in the day, too much distance between them.... Walter pulled Alex close. "I didn't, right?" Muttered into his throat and Walter pushed him off again, took in the flash of fear and anger with a pang and crushed Alex's mouth with his own. It tasted like tears, and the unspoken "Because it feels like I did" was louder in his ears than the pounding of his pulse. Walter poured every command, wish, and plea he had into the kiss and was terrifyingly positive Alex heard them all. But there was a shaky arm around his neck and a tongue in his mouth and a lean body sweaty and solid against him and there was no chance of thinking this through. Alex broke off for air, nuzzled him restlessly. "It wasn't supposed to be like this, Walter. Shit, I'm such an idiot-- " "Shh... You're not, don't do this--" "I'm not cut out for this... this... this isn't who I'm supposed to be. I only wanted--" Walter kissed him again, plunging in and lapping, trying to take away air if he couldn't take reason and thought. When he had to break the kiss to breathe himself Alex smiled at him sadly, tightened the arm around his back. "He's not like us, Walter. He can't... he doesn't know..." Alex trailed off with a frown and the older man resisted the urge to kiss him again. Weapons lose their power when the targets know them well enough. "You can't take responsibility for his pain, Alex. //Don't leave me.// "He had these... these problems long before you came into his life..." It was pointless to try to assuage the guilt, they both knew it was only a mask for a darker truth. Alex bit at Walter's jaw, laid a kiss against the small hurt before working his way to the older man's ear. "Just... just make me forget." Hoarse pleading in desperately quiet whisper and all Walter could do was nod and let himself be led from the gym and into the darkened bedroom. He reached for the light-switch and Alex caught his hand, brought it to his crotch instead. Heat and hardness and Walter growled his understanding into Alex's throat and spun him around to face the wall. Shifted position to get a better grip on the other man's erection and placed a kiss on the salt-sweaty nape. //I'll give you this, and anything else...// A few moments to knead at the heat through denim and then Walter was working the jeans off down legs sweaty and much too warm. Feverish with all the anger and confusion. Walter lapped at the hollow of a knee and Alex trembled. "Don't, I need you *now*, Walter... don't tease." It was a new pain to lose this permission to linger, but as Walter stood to retrieve the condoms and slick he had the distinct impression it was one he'd have to grow accustomed to. Alex hissed at the chill of the gel. Walter used the opportunity to pull him tighter, to whisper low and careful inanities as he slipped his finger inside. Much slower than was strictly necessary. Alex bucked sharply against him and Walter groaned. "Easy... I'm getting there." "Please..." But Walter couldn't force himself to move any faster, needing the tightness on his fingers as much as anything else, the feel of Alex's body working desperately against his own. He raked his knuckles over the gland and Alex's moan made him reach up to tilt the dark head awkwardly for a kiss of needs. "Now, Walter..." And it wasn't dark enough for him to miss the gleam on the surface of the wide eyes, the bleak beneath. Alex turned, spread, braced himself against the wall and Walter obeyed. Fitting up and slipping in, too fast for the soul, too slow for the flesh and when he was all the way in, balls flush and tightening, he steadied himself against the wall with one hand and wrapped the other around Alex. Just one more moment to hold and hold closer and he let his hips take over, let his face fall into the hollow of neck and shoulder, let everything he wanted to say be drowned in his own shallow grunts and the sobs of his lover. After, there were a few sleepy nuzzles in the shadows, on the bed. And when Walter woke up alone he wasn't at all surprised. ****** Alex stood outside the apartment, one last time. His own scent was wrong to him -- he had stopped at one of the hidey holes to shower and change and there was nothing of Walter about him but an ache in his soul. Just another wrong, and there was no way he could tell himself this was right enough to make up for it. There was no rational tally he could hold his life up to anymore and his instincts felt miswired. But he was here, now. Quiet knock and just enough time to feel himself split a little farther apart before the door opened on a rumpled, grainy Mulder. Hazy around the edges and raw in the eyes. Long moment to stare, savor the bitterness of certain inevitabilities. "The last thing I need from you is pity." Low, hoarse. "This isn't pity, Mulder. Let me in." ~~~~ End. ~~~~