Strays 3: Pack
by SpikenTe
August 2000

Disclaimers: If they were ours, we'd have a lot more calluses.

Spoilers: None, really.

Summary: Xander's newish life continues apace.

Ratings Note: NC-17.

Authors' Note: With much thanks to Buffy chat folks in IRC,
most especially Miss Kate Bolin for indulging all sorts of
questions about skiiiiiin.

Acknowledgments: To our Debba, of course, and to Dawn
Sharon for everpresent audience and assistance.

Feedback: Cherished here.

*

And there came a time when foreskins were discussed....
 

Skweezyxx: the marble rod of Spike
Daddy793: The thick sandworm of Giles.
Skweezyxx: ohhhhhh
Skweezyxx: Oh oh oh *TE*
Daddy793: I bet Xander likes to start when Giles is soft, lapping
and tonguing at the foreskin...
Skweezyxx: yeah, cuz *he* has childlike curiosity....
Daddy793: <giggling>
Skweezyxx: first the peeking and then he likes to lick in, get his
tongue inside the skin because it drives Giles crazy
Skweezyxx: and him too.  the way it traps his tongue.
Daddy793: And, you know, he has practice at this with Oz...
Skweezyxx: ohhh.  Maybe they got to this because of talking about
Oz.
Daddy793: oh yeah, just holds on to it...
Daddy793: Oh... talking about their relationship, and maybe having a
few beers...
Skweezyxx: yeah and Xander wanting to... not confess exactly, but
share.
Daddy793: Oz working late, just him and Giles...
Skweezyxx: just share details but just talk to someone who's had
*experiences* with sexual oddness.
Daddy793: "It must have been something to get used to... the wolf,
that is."
Skweezyxx: yeah.
Skweezyxx: "Yeah... It, um... Giles can I *tell* you this?"
Daddy793: And it's like providence, right then and there. Because
yes, it *is* weird to be with a werewolf and ohhh...
Daddy793: And Giles raises an eyebrow, takes another long pull of
beer.
Daddy793: "I'm going to say yes, tentatively, because I trust you."
But he's smiling when he says it.

And the CD has stopped, leaving the stereo making that not-sound all
electronic appliances make. There's a good collection of empties on
Giles' table, but not *too* good. Xander's buzzed, and happy to be here,
mano y mano with the G-man.

Something vague, not quite finished a thought : Good to be a man, here,
with Giles and yet still have all his friends. Still know that at any
given time, hey, he could do disgusting things with a Twinkie to make
people laugh. Well, maybe just himself, but the principle is there.

And he realizes he's just kind of grinning back at Giles. Which is oops,
but also OK. Rides that vibe.

"Well, it's just that... Oz um. Changes."

And there went that eyebrow again. "You mean, while you're making
love?"

Oooh, and Xander scores a lot of points for not blushing when Giles
just says it right *out* like that. Heh. He's a *man*. A really
laid-back man when it comes to the hey hey. "Yep. Not right away, but
ah... as things start moving along. You know."

"Fascinating. And yet, also vaguely frightening?"

"Yes and no. He's still all there. Just a bit more hairy. And
aggressive. Which is nice and wow. I'm just rambling my way into TMI
land, aren't I?"

Another smile, half-secret, half-for-Xander. A Giles smile. "I don't
mind. Just don't tell any Watchers or they'll want to write a paper
on you."

"I'll keep that in mind. No curious Englishmen for this guy." More
beer is good, Xander's always liked the way it tickles his throat.
Leans back against his end of the couch and settles in more
comfortably, only partially consciously. Yes, I am relaxing. And it's
OK.

Giles motions for him to continue.

"So, he's changing, right, and it's an all-over thing." Deep breath and
just say it say it say it. "One minute, I've got this perfectly normal
er er damn."

"You can say dick, I won't scold you."

"You gotta admit this is a weird conversation."

"All the better for it. Come on, now, you've got me all *interested*."

In an interested way? That was certainly a little extra flash of Brit,
there.  But Giles is gesturing with his beer, and chuckling at Xander's
discomfiture.

"Dick, dick, dick. OK, I think I'm good with this now."

"Good to hear it."

"Laugh now, Giles. You just wait and... um... well, laugh now."

Another chuckle, and Giles' grin is just staying there now, which is
just so *different* and soothing and Xander grins back.

"OK, I mean it this time. One minute, I have this perfectly normal dick
in my hand or my... mouth, and the next minute it's thicker. Shorter.
*Different*."

"Different... texture?"

"Yeah, smoother. And, well, there's a sheath."

Which makes Giles blink, and his eyes go a little faraway, like he's
trying to picture it. And that's also weird because hey, Giles thinking
about his... boyfriend's? Lover? Xander caught himself before he could
drift down that road too far. His *Oz*. Giles thinking about his Oz's
dick gives him this funny feeling inside. Something like pride, and
protectiveness, and maybe a little jealousy.

"Does the sheath go all the way? Cover the entire dick?"

Xander drinks a little more beer. "Well, I think it might if he wasn't
hard, but then, when he's not hard he's usually human."

"Lycanthropic foreskin. That's absolutely fascinating." And that's
definitely the Giles-face of books and thought and research, but
when Giles meets his eyes again that open-ness is there.

That there's-no-escape-I'm-going-to-treat-you-like-an-adult look
that Xander is getting to know and love and also fear, a little. "I
imagine Oz is circumcised, though, right?"

"Good old American hygienic penis-snipping."

"I wonder... well, it's almost like he's getting it back, isn't it?"

"I guess so..." Xander says. "I guess I have really thought about it."
He tries to think about it now but the beer keeps jostling him in a
friendly way and distracting him and he finds himself examining the
way the fabric of Giles slacks pulls across his naughty parts in a way
that makes him look... half-bone hard. And you know, *Giles* isn't
American.

He's not... it's not like he's never *thought* about... especially since
he's started thinking about Giles as a man-person equal and not... and
part of the blush has gone all the way down into his belly and is
reminding him about earlier, less coherent thoughts he's had about
Giles in other parts of his body besides his brain.  Which is currently
hanging out with the beer in a smoky room and not really on top of all
this... *this*.

"So I'm just checking in here," Xander says, motioning inclusively with
his beer bottle.  "This isn't really an academic interest conversation
anymore, is it?"

Giles continues to smile at him in a way that may or may not be
somehow, shiny.  Then kind of lets go of his eyes and lets regular Giles
peek out for a second.

"It can be," he says, quietly.  Xander absolutely believes him.  If he's
not interested they go on, talk more, life continues apace and the
friendship grows in a friendship way.  He's never felt so secure and
unpressured in his life.  And he can't stop wanting to see the other
Giles again.

"I...uh," Xander says.

Gestures with his beer.  Giles, regular seeming Giles, gets up.
Xander's not sure if he's going now, or going to hit the bathroom
or maybe the fridge for more beers -- just to kind of break the mood.
But instead Giles takes a unexpected left at Xander's chair.  Leans
down and...  It's an odd kind of kiss.  A soft gathering of his lips, a
press, a brush.  A ticklish brush of tongue-roughness on his lower lip.
Hardly a kiss at all and Xander is just... okay, cliche be damned.
He's on fire.

"I have an uncut cock," Giles says, softly but firmly right beside
Xander's cheek and Xander feels it right down to his toes.

"Oh," he says.  Instead of sounding neutral, the word comes out as a
sort of moan, almost a sex sound.  The sound that he makes when Oz
slides into him.  He blushes more, feels the heat of his face radiate
back to him off Giles' face. *Fuck*.

"Mrs. Robinson," he says, weakly. "I think you're trying to seduce
me."

And he can feel the smile against his cheek, and the way it brushes
into a kiss.

"Do you mind?"

The keystone cell, that one, Captain Kirk-like brain cell that
functions no matter what, checks in on all hands. His hands. His
mouth. Conscience. Rising cock. All systems a go and so... "No."

And Giles standing up again is bad, because it was like his stubble
and Xander's stubble had achieved this whole stubble community of
brush and tickle that Xander misses. So he stands, wanting to follow,
but bumps against Giles instead. Forearms touch and oh. Entirely
different community. And also heat, and also just the feel.

Skin.

Giles' skin, which just breaks it all open. Not a fantasy, not the
beer haze, just *bodies*. Makes it real, even more than the new kiss,
which involves a hand at the back of his neck, and the sound of a
bottle clinking gently against others as Giles sets his down, but
mostly the sound of his own breathing, and the taste of beer and a
tongue moving, moving against his own.

Into his mouth and he's sucking *Giles'* tongue. Like maybe somebody
will yell surprise, and every person he's ever dated or touched or
wanted to will walk in and sing him happy birthday as Giles' pats him
manfully on the back.

But what happens instead is Xander leading Giles, or being led, or
possibly just kissed back into the bedroom, and onto the bed, and
feeding from his mouth like the world's most good and happy and
incredibly sexy vampire. Definitely sexy, because there's that hand
gathering his head close and that other hand moving up under
Xander's shirt and being warm.

Calloused and large, covering a lot of space, triggering a lot of
little explosions just beneath the skin and Xander is suddenly very
hard.

Moans into the kiss, yes more and Giles pulls back. Leans in again
to bite, gently, Xander's lip and moves back again. Smiles.

"Do you want to see my cock, Xander?"

And *zing*. Like suddenly being stretched about two inches and
then snapped back into place. Eye-widening cock-hardening
Giles-speak. "Y-yeah."

Giles standing again, kicking off his shoes and undoing his belt.
Watching Xander intently and Xander leans up on his elbows and
down down go the shorts and oh.

And the first thought is hey, that's a lot of skin. Which leads to
wondering what it feels like, what it looks like up close and hey,
here comes Giles to let him know. And yes, he can scoot back on the
bed but not get too far away and oh.

The head, starting to peek out. All glistening and red and the skin
is tightening even as Xander watches, sort of scrunching back and
yeah. Like a sheath but not the whole thing and the thought isn't
even a thought, more like a series of silent yesses as he takes hold
of Giles' by the base and sucks at the foreskin.

He knows this, so much thinner, more fragile feeling. Which makes it
feel weirdly kinkier, not to have Oz's *sheath*, there, so firm and
solid. He won't bite but he can suck at it. Lick it and taste Giles'
heavy scent, so much heavier like it was all coming from *right*
there and Giles' hands are in his hair.

And Giles is breathing rough, whispering yes, Xanders and oh, oh, yes
and it drives him. Always does, so good to have a lover who loves it.
Needs him to do *just* what he's doing. Worships him for that one
hot moment of perfect-jobness that makes him, just makes him and
he has to try.

Get his tongue in between... so tight and Giles *gasps*. All out loud
where it can be heard and Jesus yes. To feel Giles' getting harder
and hotter and longer and it doesn't take long before he can't keep
his tongue there at all. Has to pull back, regroup, no, just suck.

Just take that whole head in and listen to that hungry sound and
suck. Open up for it, wants to be fucked but also just wants to make
it last. Not for Giles so much as for himself. Brand new cock to be
experienced.

Rubbed against his cheek and brushed against his palate. Held. Feel
the pulse and throb, hold it as it jumps under his touch and Giles is
making push-push motions and Xander looks up and Giles is looking
down, watching Xander open-mouthed, flushed and... oh his eyes are
*dazed*. And the hands in his hair are that much harder, more fervent,
something and the cock in his mouth... not enough cock in his mouth
and Xander just opens his throat and *pulls*.

Harsh, *wordless* noise and Giles is spreading his legs further apart
and there's a velvety sac brushing at Xander's chin and those hands
are just... *digging* in to his scalp, down to his shoulders. Massaging,
squeezing, holding Xander in place and *yeah*.

Not so different, this need, only it would be perfectly OK for Giles
to oh bite him and Xander is humping the mattress and Giles is fucking
up into his throat. Still slow, or maybe not slow, but controlled.
Older-man-style-controlled and Xander feels his whole body flush hard.

Just that thought, man to man is nice, but oh, Giles *is* older and yeah,
OK, traitor to his generation and all but that's fucking sexy.

That he can still just thrust and thrust even while Xander's doing the
things that drive Oz *nuts*, swallowing and using his tongue to chafe
and counterthrusting and Giles has got him.

Like Xander's the desperate one.

And yeah, he really needs to talk to Giles, tell him how much it hurt to
be ignored, dismissed, whatever. But he mostly needs to *show* him.

So he pulls off with a lot of wet sounds, strands of spit and pre-come,
weak cords trying to reel him back in. And Giles grunts, sort of moans
and presses one hand to the back of his head again. Doesn't *quite*
pull.

"Xander?"

And the voice almost does him in. Regular Giles voice trapped in hoarse
want. So good. But,

"You're way too calm, G-man."

Which is almost, but not quite ridiculous, given the man's breathing,
and the hard, arching cock just drooling for him and Xander licks his
lips helplessly and Giles sees and... growls.

Just a little.

But oh, fuck, *yeah*. That's some kind of conditioning you laid on me,
Oz, but OK, it's OK, it's fucking *great*. Dives in for a kiss and
*uses* it. Pours everything he knows into it and oh, oh teases and pulls
Giles into giving it all back, and then some. Making Xander's attack
seem gentle, if not slow. Fucking Xander's mouth again, somehow
more brutal than what he'd been doing with his cock. Hard arm
around his back, pulling closer.

One large hand between them and Giles is scraping at Xander's nipples,
pinching and twisting and Xander is moaning continuously into the kiss,
feeling himself break into a heavier sheen of sweat.

Smelling himself on the air, all that need.

Kiss suddenly broken and Xander's sucking wind and Giles --

"That what you want, then?"

"Fuck *yes*."

And that Giles smile is *sharp*, and wet with Xander's spit and it
hits again, another blitzkrieg kind of kiss. Kaiser Giles pressing his
attack, pinning Xander to the mattress and biting at his lips, sucking
his tongue and grinding down oh cock to cock. Big British uncut cock
driving against his own and hands tangled against his own, flat out on
the bed so they can only touch each other with their bodies.

Eyes wide open and staring into Giles' and just *sparking* off each
other. Yeah wanna fight wanna fuck wanna do just -- arching up to bite
at one leanly muscled shoulder and Giles drives harder, squeezes his
hands and Xander sucks at the bite, licking and nibbling because his
mouth just feels so... so...

And the idea comes hard, making his jerk and groan and roll them over,
thrust and thrust and almost too hard to break apart but he does,
quickly reverses and takes Giles' cock again. Tastes even better.
Wilder and hotter and just that bit thicker and *fuck*.

Giles returning the favor with one hand wrapped around the base of
Xander's cock and he's just as ruthless with this, sucking him so hard
and using his teeth a little and Xander gets a hand on Giles' sac and
Giles sneaks a finger into his cleft and just makes these tight little
circles around his hole. Over and over until Xander has to really work
to keep up his own 6 of the 69 but Giles seems to like the feel of the
sounds he's making so maybe that's just... really, really fine.

Thrusting and writhing and just *moving*. Sucking and getting lost in
the taste, smell, feel, heaviness in his mouth but he's getting kind of
used to this. This mouth-fucking thing, because neither he nor Oz can
get enough of Xander sucking him off. And it's good to be able to do
this with relative ease, to have those muscles, those joints primed
just for *this*.

Sucking cock. Cock-sucking. He's got a cock-sucking mouth.

Shuddering and thrusting into *Giles'* cock-sucking mouth and *fuck*
Giles finally thrusting *in*. Pushing in to his ass and it's dry and
scratchy and *good*. Wants it deeper, wants that scratch to settle
in... barbed net settling all over his skin so *good*.

Almost waiting for it. Marking time for it to happen, for Giles to --

And he almost gags, trying to yell, going wild because Giles is just
working the little nut and scraping Xander with his teeth and fucking
Xander's mouth and oh oh oh *please*.

Coming *hard*, arching and sucking and fucking fucking fucking and he
needs to yell but Giles cock is this iron bar of absolute necessity
pushing down into his throat and he can't breath can't *oh* --

Giles' cock pulsing and spitting and staking claim and it's like coming
all over again to just take it, let some ribbon out over his lip. Giles'
come, filling his mouth. Just fucking... oh, fucking *perfect*.

And then just staying there. Breathing in each other and the pulse-
thundering quiet.

Gradually rearranging themselves, next to each other, arm over chest,
head tucked under a shoulder. More scent and Xander wants, not for
the first time, a hint of what Oz experiences.

Settles into a half-doze. Comfortable, the sounds Giles' body makes, the
steady thump of his heart. Breathing evening out, but not into sleep.

Is this where he asks about tomorrow, again? Lawrence Block's short
stories?

"Uh... can I get you anything, Giles? Something to drink?"

Rich chuckle, hand ghosting over Xander's back. "Sorry. Something
about you just puts terrible double entendres in my mind."

"The puns can be contagious, Giles. You may never be the same again."

"God help me... no, Xander, I'm quite all right. Though I do have to
get home."

"You're welcome to crash here, if you want. This bed can
hold three when Oz gets home and hey, look what I just said."

"I think I will... it's certainly a lovely image."

Brief pause, Giles stroking him again, Xander toying with the greying
chest hair, the flat scarred plain of torso. Perfect Giles-ness to
feel just like this.

"Xander..."

"That's me."

"Is this... this isn't going to cause a problem, is it?"

Which is, hey, great time to think of *that*, but also very flattering
that it took this long. "No. Oz is always going to be in love with
Willow. I love him... I think we love each other as just really friendly
friends, if that makes sense.

"And it feels so *warm*. So... um. Well, good." Doesn't know why he
wants to explain it, but he does. Giles squeezes him hard.

"You deserve warm and good... more, really." Another pause, and Xander
can feel it in the set of Giles' muscles. "Oz... you know, it's possible
to love more than one person."

"Yeah, OK, um... can we leave that thought for a while?"

Another squeeze. "Of course, but..." Rolls over and kisses him. Slow
and open and wet. Tasting himself and beer and Giles. Hand on his
cheek, thumb caress just under his eye. "I do have to go."

"Mmm... you're sure about that?"

Laugh. "I'm sure. But... I'll call you around seven or so tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I should be home from work by then."

"Wonderful." Another long, slow kiss. "Absolutely wonderful."
Sounding like he meant it, smiling against Xander's mouth for
another long moment before pulling back, getting off the bed.

Xander stays where he is and just watches. Giles' cock is all hidden
again and Xander definitely wants another go at hide and seek. It
feels... really nice to be naked like this in front of Giles, because
of Giles. Like maybe he *will* be able to talk about the old hurt, at
some point, and have it be OK.

Has to laugh at himself at the image of cutting a sexual swath
through everyone he needs to talk to, just to see if it'll work out.

Giles smiles at Xander's laugh, buttoning his shirt not very high.
Chest hair showing. And that's also very nice. "Share the joke?"

"Just considering a new career as town slut."

Snort of laughter. "Do *try* to stay away from the demon bars,
Xander."

"Speciesist."

Back on the bed to put on his shoes, throwing a grin over his
shoulder. "All right, *fine*. The *rougher* demon bars."

"Elitist."

And Giles stopped for a moment just to laugh.

"They say I'm a demon magnet, me, I prefer to think of myself as
intensely open-minded."

"Vengeance demons, slayers, Cordelia..."

"Watchers with strange, new penises."

"You're a rebel, Xander. I daresay you could be a bad influence."

"Watch me burn, baby."

"Right. Need any help straightening up?"

"Nah, I got it. I have to wash some dishes anyway. The smell of
rapidly staling beer should get me going if nothing else."

"Ah, to be young." And Giles leans over and kisses him one more
time. "I had a wonderful time tonight, Xander."

"Me, too."

Another thumb caress and Giles abruptly blinks. "All right, I'm
off. Have a good night."

"You, too."

Giles' gaze moving over Xander's naked body, hesitating on his
cock, which is beginning to grow noticeably interested in the
attention. Giles shaking his head and "I think I'll see myself
out."

And he's gone, with just one more smile over his shoulder and the
closing door and the empty apartment and the sex smell... It's
not depressing. Hasn't been in a while, now. He's alone, but it's
definitely only temporary. Somebody's gonna walk through that
door -- and if Xander could come up with an excuse he'd give everyone
the key -- and there could be talk, or snuggling, or even ludicrously
hot sex.

And it all just boiled down to the fact that Xander's moderately
shabby-yet-charming one bedroom apartment on the wrong side of
town was very much home. Family free and, well, home.

It makes him feel large inside, like maybe inviting the 'rents over
and Uncle Rory and whatever bottle blond he was currently dating
over for beer and pretzels and football.

In two or three years.

Still, though, there's that large feeling. That *possibility*.

Checks the time and it's only eleven... Giles had come over early,
Oz was definitely later than expected, and yeah, that's a worry, even
though Oz can wolf-out on command. Xander has given away or thrown
out every small bit of silver he owned and cringes a little whenever
he sees any.

And that's just not the line of thought he wants to travel down, so
he rolls over instead. Giles has left definite Giles-scent behind. A
little hello, I was here, making Xander come his brains out post-it
in warm, male odor.

Which he has accepted as a more than pleasant alternative to warm,
female odor.

Thinking about Anya, and all that innocence... no one ever taught her
shame, or hurt, or badness, and Xander could feel it in every touch,
hear it in every matter of fact question and demand. Wonders where
she is tonight, and if she's found the running back with breasts of
her dreams.

Tries to imagine it: Smooth pale Anya on a softer, newer bed, entwined
with someone tanned and muscular, laughing heartily and kissing ever
heartilyer and it briefly looks a lot like the simply happy Faith he
remembers from the zombie night, and briefly that's OK, too.

Giles had filled them all in on the way she'd turned herself in, and for
Xander... Like a relief on several levels. Knowing both that she wouldn't
be able to hurt anyone he cared about -- except maybe Aunt Betsy --
and also knowing that she was really *trying* this time.

Like maybe he hadn't been a complete idiot in trying to reach out, make
that connection one more time.

Xander knows he'll write her a letter. Maybe soon. Because... because
in the end it feels better to forgive than it does to hate. And wow,
because there's that large feeling again.

And a key in the lock announces Oz, even more than the sudden *feel*
of him in the apartment. Not a chill so much of an open-ness to the
air, like coming in opens the apartment to the sky, the world, flooding
it with oxygen for a brief moment.

Xander up and into the living room, where Oz is just... breathing.
Paused in the middle of taking off his shoes. Finally focuses on Xander
and kicks off his shoes at last and comes over.

"Hey," holding Xander's hips and leaning in to sniff and nuzzle and
wolf-purr.

"Hey, Oz. I was just going to clean up a little..."

"He touched you... oh, all over."

Long lick to Xander's throat and he has to shudder a little, human tongue lengthening, morphing, and then back. Rising cock pressed against Oz's belly.

"I find the thought arousing, yet vaguely upsetting." Bent head down,
bite to Xander's left, then right nipple, followed by that unsteady tongue.

"Uh... Oz. Maybe we should oh. Oh, yeah talk about this."

Hands moving, shifting behind. Grabbing Xander's ass and pulling him in
closer. Oz's eyes half closed, still breathing. "We should and... I will.
I will. Just... just let me need this. You're necessary, Xander. Want
to breathe you in..."

"We can do that."

And then just down to the couch that Oz can lay on, all stretched
out and still have room, and still be so irresistibly *male*. Vital
and animal and there and touching him.

Pushing Xander back and diving into his mouth. Pausing once, then
simply devouring. Tasting and moving, and he's still in his light
leather jacket and t-shirt and jeans and Xander's still naked. It's
a chafe, a vague feeling of very nice wrong to be naked with Oz
still fully dressed.

Like, here he is, ready for Oz to touch, need, taste, just whatever.

Broken kiss and Oz groans just above Xander's lips. "I can taste him,
he came in your mouth and I can taste him --" Tongue thinning,
lengthening, delving back in and licking Xander. Holding him, still
working at his nipples and heat behind worn denim and Xander wraps
his arms around Oz and holds him there.

Loving his weight, and the way the wolfiness gradually pulls mass out
of some physically impossible somewhere that would maybe drive
Willow nuts to think about.

And the gang, they all know he and Oz are living together, and
nobody says much but Xander kind of thinks they know. Or think they
do.

They can't know what it's like to push up against hot silky skin
and meet fur, they can't know how the tattoo beneath at all changes
the whole texture of the fur along its lines, how it sometimes
becomes a whole different color. Lighter ginger in the browns, the
man within the wolf, pushing out like... like taking him and kissing him
so much and his mouth is starting to feel abused in such a *good*
way.

Pushing even closer together, thighs entwined  and Oz breathing
against his throat and thrusting. Smell of leather and sweet
electric oxygen. Hands moving out from between them, one burying
itself in Xander's hair, the other just sliding beneath Xander to
cup his ass. Squeeze and pull.

Eyes open again, darkening fast but not overwhelmingly so.

Xander has some time with the human, to make love to him. "Oz...
let's go to bed."

And Oz, pulls back, strips off his jacket and tugs and moves
after Xander, blue-black hair spiking up in the light and Xander
wants to back in there, watch him all the way, watch the hungry
smile...

The bed smells even more like Giles than Xander remembered and he
can see Oz reacting, nostrils flaring, eyes flashing briefly.
Crawling in to move over Xander again but Xander pushes him to the
side.

Just holds him for a moment. "Is it... is it you or the wolf or... both?"

Only a kiss in response, and Xander loves this, loves these compact
and messy and wonderful expressions of need, loves touching Oz's
sweet fresh skin and pulls away to kiss him all over. Small copper
nipples and lean, lean muscles.

Small, well-used hands with salty fingertips and tender webbing and
Oz's mouth on Xander's shoulder. Mouthing there, slipping into his
armpit to tongue and breathe there until it just tickles too much
and Xander has to move.

Has to run his hands down those perfect compact legs, feel the hair
stir and change under his touch. Cup the caps of Xander's knees,
feel the soft, humid skin beneath. Taste it, move into the thigh.

Looks at, takes a moment to really study its length, its mild
slimness and heart-shaped head. Naked cock, after Giles', after the
wolf's. Leans in to lap at the slit, nuzzle against the scar where
Xander guesses the cut was made but doesn't stay long because...
because he wants Oz's control tonight. Want to just touch him in
a gay way that's not necessarily bestiality.

Or maybe just love the feel of all that *skin*, since Oz is
naturally so *smooth*.

Mouthing the flat stomach, dip his tongue in the perfectly
normal belly button. Oz's hands in his hair now, different from
Giles'. Oz tugs at individual locks, curls them around his fingers.
Plays with Xander like a big, sex-lovin' toy which is nice, and
fun, because Xander likes to do the same.

Tugging gently at pubic hair and burying his face there to just
breathe.

Wanting the sheath and laughing at himself for how brief his
foray into human sex with Oz is going to last.

"Oz, you're really beautiful." Shocking to have his mouth just
open like that, speak words but Oz is turning away a little
and Xander feels the low tremble just beneath the skin. The way
the wolf just *wants* to come and oh. "Both ways, Oz... I uh... I
love them both. Just to touch you. Have you make love to me uh...
fuck. You know... I mean --"

Cutting himself off by burying his face in Oz's throat and
positioning his hand above one nipple and simultaneously
biting and scratching and getting exactly what he'd expected.
Bright singing arch of tense muscle and bone and the change. Ridges and mass and oh, god. That alien/needed face.

Leaning down to rub up against it. Reach down to feel that thick
cock. *His* cock, sliding out and out of its sheath.

Kiss like this, he knows how, slow and needful and careful and deep.

"Xander..." Growl on the r, making Xander shudder, shift and rub
up against Oz's hands roaming his back. Finding the ticklish places
and magically making them sex places with just a rub, a scratch,
and the liquid black of his eyes.

Xander tangling his hands in the still-thin chest fur, finding the
nipples again and licking and licking until they're wet and slippery
and his pinches are off target, vicious little brushes of flesh that
makes Oz shift and move and oh.

Beautiful thick cock right there and the only question is where he
wants it.

Already that ghostly empty ache inside where Oz's cock *belongs*.
Fuck, just buried inside and Xander leans over Oz and stretches for
the night-table and gets his nipple bit *just* light enough to not
break the skin and then that rough tongue, not soothing at all.

Making Xander liquid inside, bones all loose and needing to stay
*there*. Needing those bites and wanting much, much harder. Wants to
just scream, 'yes, please, taste me, Oz. Inside and out because I *need*
you to.'

Feels so good but finally gets the lube, the condom. Waits, though,
and Oz obliges. Biting him and biting. All over his chest and it's
going to leave welts, marks. Oh god points of ownership and maybe
that's OK, but also maybe not for friends and it just fires Xander
too much to protest that he'd only wanted the *feeling*.

Oz rolling them over, leaning into Xander's neck. And heh. Thinking
of walking onto the site covered in suck marks. No way he's taking
off his shirt tomorrow, no matter how hot it is.

Hot like Oz's mouth, and his too-clawed fingers and Xander leans
up again. Slips on the condom and takes the summer-warm slick
and does the necessary. Spreads himself wide and just... dips in.
Thrusts in and starts to fuck himself and Oz is just watching him
the whole time.

Making Xander aware. The sweat pooling on his belly, the harsh scent
of his sex, the way his mouth was hanging open and his eyes were just
so *sleepy*. Yeah. Being sexy for Oz.

Fucking... in and twisting and wanting so bad for it to be Oz's fingers,
Giles' fingers *in* and stretching him and finally the thoughts are just
too much and he doesn't care if he isn't quite ready. Throws a pillow under
his ass and fans out his knees and lets Oz's growl just roll right over
him in a wave and then "ahh--!"

Oz deep in one long, smooth stroke and so fucking *thick*. Just
impaled. Pinioned, staked, spiked everything, everything. Lets his head
fall back and Oz's hands roam all over Xander's body and pushes.

Slips around and nudges "yes, *please*" finding that hot spot and
Giles was there Giles had come down his throat and Oz is *fucking*
him. Hitting that spot very hard, deliberate. God, too much control
tonight.

Everyone with something to prove and Xander twines his ankles
around Oz's neck and *forces* him deeper.

"Hard, Oz, make it --"

Slamming in and Xander works his own flagging cock and Oz
watches and watches, never closes his eyes. Not in this. Taking
in all of Xander, likes to watch him oh watch him be *fucked*.

Xander pictures Oz watching Giles take him with his strange,
new cock. Working himself and growling and barely holding himself
back from the attack and Giles just fucking him wilder like
Oz is.

Like Oz making the bed shake, slam against the wall because
he's so deep, getting deeper, trying to just oh god oh fuck just
crawl right inside. Fuck right inside, rip Xander... no, not rip,
just *force*. Deep inside.

Oz inside and he hopes he never gets used to the pull in his
thighs, the hard face-burning sweaty reality of being fucked.

"Oh, Oz oh yes *do* it fuck *yes* --"

Just streams of fuckdumb gibberish. More of this, right now please
God even if it's already too much, making tears form and the sounds
lose words and just become so open and desperate and Oz pulling
*out*  and Xander knows.

Turns over and gets on his hands and knees and yeah, fucked like an
animal, sharp teeth against the back of his neck and Oz sliding in
again. Making it good, making Xander clutch the sheets and hang
his head and work himself and work himself until Oz takes mercy.

Takes his cock in that wonderful furry hand and lets Xander tear at
the sheets properly and he knows the noises he makes are just too
*much*. Sobbing moans and the taste of his own sweat and the iron
of his bitten lip.

Because Jesus... Oz is so... Oz wants him so bad. Needs him just
like this, splayed out and maybe dying from all the pleasure, the
pain and the *power* behind him. Human and animal and all his. Xander's.

Wolf by the tail oh inside inside ragged thrusts and Oz holding his
hips and pulling him back into it when Xander can only kneel there
and be fucked and it goes on and on until finally Xander "please oh
please let me come I need to need to come make me come, Oz oh --"

Faster pulls then and somehow even harder thrusts and Xander's
toes are curling fingers aching white-knuckled blank white wall
of feeling, slamming in at nine hundred miles per hour and Xander
dimly knows he's yelling just as he dimly knows his eyes have rolled
back and he's gonna lose consciousness.

And that Oz will just keep on fucking him --

Out and down and it's so soft and white and it'll hold him
forever and Oz somewhere outside of it, taking him faster and
faster before finally burying himself to the hilt and growl-
howling and coming. Coming inside him no the condom and oh.

Oh...
And Xander slips down.

And he comes back to find Oz holding him, half-over him and
holding and occasionally shaking. Still in half-wolf form and
holding him.

So tight.

And Xander reaches out with cooked spaghetti arms to hold
him right back.

Because this silence is *loud*. Much too intense, too raw and
God, no way Xander's sleeping on his back tonight. Blushes
at the thought, in the dark.

Feels Oz feeling it. Squeezing him.

And just... God.

"Oz, that was... that was incredible."

Silence for a while, short rocking and breathing in all the sex and
then, "there's this feeling inside for you, Xander, and... it's
not like anything else."

Long, shuddering breath and fur gives way to skin and Xander
turns to face Oz. Runs his fingers down arm and holds Oz's hand.

Oz isn't looking at him. "All I know is that... is that ever
since the wolf there's always been something to hold back with
people. And it's been a couple of years, and I just got so
*accustomed* to holding back, not thinking some thoughts and you...
God, you wouldn't even let me chase you away."

Which is oh. And also damn, because, hey. "That's a lot of words.
And I have no brain right now and guide me here. Point me towards
non-idiot words, please, because I don't know how to apologize for
needing and wanting my friend."

"Xander, you..." And he finally looks up, absolutely open and sad and
scared eyes. Old eyes. "You have to understand, you've got all of
me."
And Xander can only try to stroke a little more purposefully and
try not to babble. "I... uh... promise not to drop you?"

Rueful laughter, barely shed tear in the crinkle of a smile. "I want
all of you, Xander. Everything you hide. All of it. Even trade."

"I... uh..."

Hand on his chest and another weary smile and the ache in all of
Xander's muscles. "Just what's fair, right? God, I think I'm
going crazy..."

"Oz, I don't know if I know how... what *are* we to each other?"

And Oz leans in, kisses him softly, and whispers, "I'm yours."

"Jesus."

"And the only thing I... the only thing I *need* is for you to
know that. And give me as much as you can until I can..." Brittle
laughter. "Until I can figure this out a little more. Know why I
need you so much."

Xander breathes deep holds Oz just a little closer. "And what if
it's obvious?"

"Then I'm going to pursue you, and fuck you just like this until
nothing, no one else can make you feel the way I can. You're
beautiful, Xand, and I don't need much of an excuse to love you
more than I already do."

"Oz, man, this is so dangerous."

"Makes me *feel*..." Oz's face against his throat, words whisper
brushed into the skin."

"Oh, yeah..."

And then just into each other, moving and touching. Dry kisses and
strong fingers digging into sore muscles and just so much skin.
Touching and wanting and kissing wetter, deeper. Getting hotter
by the second and it would be so easy to just lose himself in this,
to just be pulled along by Oz's love.

And maybe... wouldn't be bad. The good silence and the better talk,
the touch and sex and warmth. To be needed so badly.

But.

Pushing Oz away and sitting up, back to the wall and Oz sits up,
too, question in his eyes.

"Oz... I have a life. And so do you, just waiting for you to take it."

"I need you."

"And I need you, but... I need other things, too... Oz, you can't
let the wolf dictate your relationships. It's just really, really
scary."

Oz snickered, ran a hand back through the wild spikes of his hair.
"What if it's not the wolf?"

"Then I... am clueless."

"The wolf wants you pack. The human wants you... pack."

"Packs have more than two people."

"Pack and... mate."

"I don't want to be a werewolf, Oz. I'm just starting to get used
to being *human*."

"I... God, I know, Xander, and I'm sorry and... *fuck*, I shouldn't
have come. I just... Xander, you're right, it's dangerous. I want you
too damned much. Don't you ever dream of the moon? The wind as you
run? The taste of power, life and death?"

So much there and Xander has no idea what gestures he's trying to
make, what scariness he should answer and "Oz, no, you... you
*should've* come, I'm glad you're here, but I can't. We can't
do this. Just... just let me love you the way I know how. It
doesn't... it doesn't have to come down to this, just because
I love you.  Because you love me..."

"You've had it before, Xander." And Oz's eyes were wild, so
wild and human and open and full of need. "I know you dream that
way. I remember you knowing I was the wolf, even if your brain
led you wrong. You *knew* me. God, it's like you always have."

Feeling the hurt and wanting and oh, fuck, just wanting to give
up, promise anything. Take the bite offered, the life offered
and something stirs. Something old and borrowed once but his
*now*. Take and run and oh, Oz. Leaning in and kissing and
he's hard again.

Fuck being sore, fuck talking, just the thought: Oz at his side.

Nothing ever to fear, and it's OK to just touch like this, to just
be naked before each other and move and love Oz's cock, and
the feel of it in his hand and Oz's sharp-toothed mouth.

So close.

So easy.

Just say the word and it would be all his for the life of the wolf,
fast and hard and open to everything wild. Just yes. All in
Oz's eyes, in the way he closes them when Xander gets rid of the
condom and takes his prize.

Just like this, laid out under the moon through the window and
tonguing Oz's beautiful sheath and the slide of Oz's cock against
his cheek is familiar. Right.

Marked and painted with his need. But.

It's not the only way, not not *not* and Xander's crying a little
when he takes Oz in and tastes tears along with Oz's  pre-come.

Sweat and salt and needing *him*.

Yes, Oz, yes, over and over in his mind, with each of Oz's
thrusts, with Oz's hands in his hair again and knowing.

Oh, knowing he can be this wild.

Can't think, just need, body to... mouth so full and throat
open and swallowing and swallowing. Taking, please, come. Right
down the throat. Needed there and so hot and salt and bitter
when it comes. Xander's mouth floods with his own spit and
he swallows it all.

Pulls back, pulls away when Oz wants to make love to him. Make
him come again, scream his name, and oh, Xander wants to so *bad*.

But *fuck*.

It isn't right. Not inside, where he needs it to be. And.

"No, Oz. I won't. Please, don't bite me."

Oz showing his teeth anyway, and God, almost wanting because
then... he could have it and still have made the right decision and
he's a fucking *coward* because he can't even decide whether
to bare his throat and because he still wants it so *bad*.

His chance, right there.

And gone with a massive pull of energy that Xander can feel,
bringing Oz back to human.

"Oz... God... can't you just let me love you the way you wanted?
You asked me to be human."

Letting Oz back in, because the touch is still so good, the kiss so
*necessary*. Oz so good in his arms, warm and lean and *right*,
dammit.

"Xander... I don't want to be human. It's so *hard*, when all I'd
have to do is just *relax*."

"Relax with me, be with me. I trust you. And oh, fuck, Oz, I need
 you, too. Wolf and man."

"I want to run so *bad*."

"Stay. Be my friend, and Anya's friend, and Giles' friend. God, be
my lover. We can find a way, Oz..."

Oz sinking into his arms, and Xander's still hard but it's not as
important as closing his eyes and knowing Oz by touch. The tension
and release and the singing wire of hunger looping around and
back in on itself just under Oz's skin.

Hunger that could be his, and sated with one bite. And it's Oz
that holds them tighter together when Xander shudders.

And they stay there, breathing quiet in the dark, as the clouds
pass over and over the moon.

Just a place to stay, and hopefully safe.

End.

Continue to Feeling I've Been.