Disclaimers: Not even close to mine.
Spoilers: Nope, nada.
Summary: "God, how is this not *killing* your balls?"
Ratings Note: Sexual content which dovetails neatly
with content some readers may find disturbing.
Author's Note: Nominally a sequel to Sensational Baby,
but it's not like I'm writing anything deep here.
Acknowledgments: To Jack and Betty for audiencing
and encouragement. For David, because putting his
name in these notes stains his reputation in a way
which amuses me deeply.
Girls make no sense.
Well, okay, that's an exaggeration and also a lie. Babs gets
hot when Tim does certain things -- or allows certain other
things *to* be done -- and this makes absolute sense in her
head, which means that Tim's -- other -- head gets to be
very, very freaking happy.
If the 'certain things' that get her hot make no objective
sense that Tim can figure then, well, it's all a part of how
humanity is a varied and beautiful and worthwhile thing
which deserves to be saved from horrible street-crime and
only beat up if they do bad things.
Etcetera, whatever, and so on.
It's not even close to a hardship to listen to -- and watch,
because they're in civvies and that means an incredibly
inferior Babs-bra -- Babs giggle while she helps -- 'helps' --
Tim with his stretches.
Even though there's nothing *precisely* funny about the
fact that Tim can give himself bunny ears with his own feet.
"Little bun-ny Tim-my, hoppin' through the Bat-Cave... hee
hee *hee*, God, your feet don't even look *real* up over
your head like that --"
"Babs, I told you, it's totally disturbing when the swimmers
do that stuff in the locker room to the freshmen --"
"Yeah, yeah, hush, I'm *playing*," she says.
She totally is. She's got that look in her eyes like maybe if
you got something flammable close to her pupils it'd be
time to call the fire department. Just... *whoosh*.
"And... God, how is this not *killing* your balls?"
"You could always check. I mean, maybe this is causing
some irreparable damage and I'll have to *stop*."
Babs snorts, squeezes Tim's ankles, and bangs them against
the floor. Twice. "Seriously!"
That -- or maybe the tone -- makes Babs loosen her grip --
a little -- before actually looking in his eyes. Still all...
Yeah. "Seriously, it *does* hurt a little. And that..."
"Awww. Little bunny Timmy's got an *erection*?"
Tim sticks his tongue out at Babs. And waggles it a little.
"Yes. I'm totally growing more *tumescent* by the minute.
Later, I may have to *ejaculate*."
Babs snickers, eyes scrunching nearly closed-and-harmless-
looking. Nearly. "God, why wasn't I *here* when Bruce
gave you the Talk?"
"I bet he totally still has the tapes of that day in the Cave."
And her eyes are wide again, just like that. "Ohh. And
Dick's, too, you think?"
Which... "Oh... man. Wow. We've gotta find them, Babs."
"We have to make *copies*."
"And sell them on the internet?"
Babs snickers again, and squeezes his ankles. And then
deliberately pushes her face into a credible scowl. "Robin,"
she says, in a pretty *deep* voice, "The Secret is very
"But -- but -- *Batman*!"
Her eyes scrunch, but she totally holds it. "No buts, young
man! Now you have to be *punished*."
"Oh, no, Batman! I'll be good, I *swear* -- ee --" *He*
doesn't hold it, but then, no one is making *Babs'* feet
point in opposite directions.
"I'm sorry, Robin, I just can't *trust* you anymore."
"Oh... God --" And Tim's feet are totally at around ten o'clock
and three o'clock respectively with him bent in *half*, but
if he lets the 'ow' out, she'll *stop*, so he just squeezes
his eyes shut. "Batman, no, *please* --"
"Ohh... man. This is officially getting *wrong*. Jeez!"
Tim stops wriggling and peeks through mostly closed-eyes.
She's blinking a little, which means she's serious about the
wrong, but... how serious? "I just..." Tim gasps, biting his
lip in a really obvious way. "I just didn't *understand*
"Oh... you... are really bad."
Tim grins and opens his eyes. "I need to be taught an
important lesson about the importance of *rules*, Mommy.
I mean, Daddy."
*That* makes Babs narrow her eyes in just the right way
and -- *push* his legs out even further.
"Ohh... *fuck* --"
And that's -- not even *close* to Bruce's voice, but that's
really just fine. Really... tiny-hard-hands-making-his-
ankles-feel-bruised fine. "Sorry! I --" Except that there's no
way in *hell* he can keep it together when she uses the
stretch he's in to brace her arms before leaning *in*.
There are inadequately-protected breasts on his
inadequately-protected chest, and his thighs are screaming
a little, and --
"*Fuck*, Babs, *yeah* --"
"I said -- oh, *fuck* it," And Babs bites his chin and bites his
lip, and Tim doesn't have nearly enough air for Babs to be
kissing him like she is, which means it's fucking perfect.
"Patrol in... two. Hours."
Babs eeps into his mouth, but by the time she pulls away --
Tim can see over her shoulder. The door's closed again.
"Man, he got us *again*," she says, shaking her head.
"This is why he's Batman, and you're just Mommy, Babs."
Which makes her shake her head and come back down for
more kissing, which is the best possible reflex she could
ever have, as far as Tim's concerned. And when he can gasp
a little, again, "I can't *hump* in this position. That's totally
Babs snorts again, *bites* again, and... stops.
"Heh. I just... *heh*."
"Hang on, don't move," and then *she* moves, which is
wrong and also unfair, even though she doesn't go far.
And then it stops being unfair, because she's stripping off
her shirt *and* the girly-civvie bra, and that's a beautiful
"Now grab your ankles, and -- wait, take your pants and
stuff off first."
"Babs, have I ever told you that I really, really like you?
She grins. "Just wait."
Sure, okay, and also fine. And sure, it *is* a little weird to
grab his ankles and bring them up over his head when he's
half-naked in the library, but then he just reminds himself
that he's having sex, and it all kind of settles down in his
"Mmm, yeah, now spread 'em. Like I had 'em."
"I'm -- really glad I took a *good* shower this morning,
She makes a face. "So am I. Even *Dick* smelled a little
weird when he was a teenager."
Tim snickers and rocks a little on his tailbone, working out a
few kinks. "That's going on the tape."
"*Robin*," she says, but the glare is pretty weak against the
*flare* in her eyes.
"Sorry," he says, and insincerely as he can manage. "Now
you were saying...?"
Toothy, *toothy* smile. "*You* were saying you can't really
*hump* in that position."
"Well, I've gotta say I was hoping we would -- uh." He can't
really make words when she grabs her own tits and makes
them bounce. Just -- really not.
"You're such a boy," she says, dropping to her knees and
Soft. Soft -- dry warm --
Soft and *on* him --
S -- "*Soft* -- Jesus --"
"*Breathe*, Boy Wonder... heh. On second thought -- you
can totally *rock* your hips --"
He could, if he could stop staring at the head of his dick
peeking up between Babs' breasts and disappearing and
peeking and *breathe* and --
"-- so *do* it --"
"Unh -- I -- fuck -- *fuck* --"
"Uh, huh... oh... wait, lemme see if I can kinda bend my
girls *in* a little without hurting --"
"Babs -- oh fuck, Babs, *nipple* -- *fuck* --"
"Uh, *huh*... ohh, yeah. Mm. Maybe I *will* let you do this
in another -- nn -- another position --"
"Please -- *please* fuck *please* --"
"You're gonna come in about --"
"Hunh. 'About *now*,' I guess. Jeez, Tim."
Soft -- fucking deadly -- *soft* -- gone.
Babs kneels up and --
"God, you're using my *shorts*?"
Babs kind of hums and keeps scrubbing her face and neck
until it's clean. "Not like I'm using my *shirt*." And then she
tosses them over her shoulder and smirks. "You did better
than that in my *mouth*."
Point, but -- "Look, I mentioned the *daily*, right? Like...
that was totally a fantasy."
"Even with you all..." Babs waves a hand at his legs.
Hunh. He *is* still all spread out. Tim unfolds himself, sits
up, and rubs a little at his tailbone. "Totally a fantasy. I'm
allowed to come all over myself for a fantasy."
"Or all over *me*." Babs grins. "But... *that* means you
"I -- shit. Look --"
Babs reaches in and kind of... tickles his chin.
"Aww. Don't worry, bunny. You'll *like* it."
"Uh..." He really does like Babs best. Even though she's
"Well. You'll like it *eventually*."
Maybe especially because she is.