Disclaimers: Not even remotely mine. It's better
Spoilers: Major ones for "A Better World." Vague,
AU-ish references to "Return of the Joker" from
Summary: Nothing ends neatly. Not in Batman's world.
Ratings Note/Warnings: NC-17. Contains content
some readers may find disturbing.
Author's Note: Written for the Spike, who's about to
have a birthday.
Acknowledgments: To the Spike for wanting this. Or...
something like this. Heh. To her, Deb, Livia, Jack, and
Bas for audiencing. Jack also gave me the title.
Feedback makes it stop. firstname.lastname@example.org
Batman spends a lot of time in the Cave.
It's nothing new, but it *feels* new, in ways he doesn't have words
for. And that...
is just one of the many things he's worried about.
Or... not so much worried, but he's thinking about it.
He has a lot of time to think, now.
One of the monitors is tuned to CNN, and will stay there for at least a while longer.
It hadn't taken long for the people to realize that the Lords were gone,
probably for good. The first few rumors out of Arkham, a few mad (and didn't they
have to be? They'd made the world distinctly unsafe for *sane* criminals...) thieves
robbing a bank in Chicago and succeeding.
A flood in Bangladesh, unchecked.
Not all of the demonstrations had ended in rioting.
And that was... something to be proud about?
He can feel himself smiling.
He wonders if he's laughing.
Another of the monitors is tuned to the prison where the League has
Lords? His friends?
A click and he's looking at Wonder Woman. She's weeping again. The art
supplies they've allowed her have been used for the same thing, over and over:
She's trying to remake her uniform. The old one that she'd thrown away.
Batman has it beside him, folded neatly.
Sometimes he wants to touch her face.
Another click and there's Superman. Clark.
He frowns, and shakes his head. Superman hadn't been Clark for a very
He usually paces the cell like a caged animal, and this time is no different.
His is the only cell that has no windows, and sometimes Batman tries
which of *them* had made that brilliant decision.
He would've done it as a matter of course.
But then... so might *their* Clark.
In the carefully artificial light, there are the subtlest cracks in his skin-mask:
A hint of grey in his hair. The way the veins show when he makes a fist.
The other cracks are, of course, easier to see.
Batman wonders if the man is remembering Lex, yet.
Another monitor is tuned to the *other* Cave, and he doesn't like to
it, he *hates* to look at it, but this is a kind of...
It's something between penance and rank schadenfreude.
The view is turned to the wall. The blank wall where Batman will build
glassed-in display cases. The space for Tim.
The spaces for Barbara, and Dick.
The last monitor...
He closes his eyes.
He feels himself shake inside, inside where he can't stop it and isn't
wants to anymore and he looks at the first monitor again.
Sirens, broken glass. Broken bodies carefully kept within a range some
producer has deemed tasteful.
He could help.
He could walk out of his Cave and brush the glass out of that one's
rush that one to the hospital, and... most of the rioters are *drunk*.
And they'd fall on him like wolves.
He doesn't want to die.
That's the funniest thing of all, really.
And if he could, oh, if he could, he would go back.
He would tell Tim to remember that the mission always came first.
He would push Dick out of his arms and --
Alfred. Oh, God, he would tell Alfred to *kill* him, kill him fast before
There's so much.
But out of all the things he *could* do -- the League has been incautious
the plans for Lex's clever little power disruptor. It would be so easy, so very easy
to reverse it.
There are worlds beyond worlds.
The last monitor.
He'd never been in Flash's apartment before he'd died. After, of course.
They'd all gone. Separately and not.
The rumpled sheets, the refrigerator stocked just that morning -- and
it had to
have been, because Flash never stopped eating, and the fact that the fridge
had been full...
It looks different now.
Every detail the same, physically -- the posters on the wall, the utterly
unprotected drawer full of cash from his -- God help them all -- *lottery*
Empty, because Flash is somewhere else right now. Flash is... saving
life, or cracking jokes, or eating, or dancing, or just...
How that man *lived* --!
But it's different, because *this* apartment is just... waiting.
Even the sun through the unblocked windows is cheerful, utterly lacking
Flash will come home.
And part of him, the part of him that still plans and plots and *knows*,
wonders what their Batman is thinking.
Because how could he have just... turned his *back* on him?
How could he have walked away?
Why are there no signs of heightened security on *that* apartment? It
would've been easy, nearly *mindless*.
Motion alarms hidden from everyone's sight (but his own).
Other things. Things he would've seen, and known about it, and *still*
wouldn't have been able to do anything to get past. Or nothing that
wouldn't send out the alarm.
But there's nothing.
The third monitor shows the wall, the empty, blameless wall.
And that, more than anything else....
It's rage and it's triumph and it's every victory he's ever tasted when
still worked in the shadows. When everything about him was dark, and every
battle won was another battle lost and he wouldn't have had it any other
It's *nostalgia*, and that's... he *understands* now. Why the Joker
Why the Joker couldn't *stop* laughing, and how he loved Batman, loved him
every time he beat him.
Every time bone cracked with that satisfying finality.
Because Batman -- *their* Batman -- doesn't understand anything at all.
He's as clueless as a child and twice as smug.
He's *dangerously* ignorant.
And maybe, just maybe, it's *his* responsibility.
To make their Batman understand.
He turns off CNN, screams cutting off with a calm little hum.
He turns off Superman, wondering idly when the man will start cursing
not coming to get him.
He never will.
He turns off the Cave -- it'll still be there when he wants it again. If he does.
He focuses on Flash's apartment.
Not long, no, not long at all, really. Not long, and not difficult.
Flash is asleep
when Batman shoots him with the drug.
And now... Flash is here.
It's an effort to stop arranging and rearranging Flash's limbs. The
bed is as
comfortable as he can make it, and the drug he's given the man won't last
Now that he's here...
And how easy, how incredibly *easy* it had been. He can't stop thinking
it, remembering it and moving Flash, touching him.
He'd had the drugs in his belt already, and it had taken mere seconds
on the injector.
Maybe his arms should be bent...?
And then it had only been a matter of waiting, and *that* had been hard, but.
Life has given him nothing *but* opportunities to learn patience.
And soon enough, Flash had come back, and he'd eaten more than Batman
remember, and he'd spent several hours simultaneously watching television,
reading magazines, and listening to the stereo and that was.
His legs, so long. Lean with fundamental *strength*. Alive --
God, it had been impossible to look away, even to blink, relieve himself,
he could get his hands on just to be able to do it with *him*.
They ate together.
He was glad he'd decided to wait and watch from the Cave.
He knew himself -- *still* knows himself well enough to know that it
done to do the waiting in Flash's apartment.
Wally here, sleeping so easily that his forehead is smooth beneath the mask.
He doesn't want to put on the restraints.
He knows he has to -- the strength, the speed are too much to risk,
He can't force himself to increase the dose. The risk, however small...
He'd watched the fight. Lords against League, losing themselves in rage
and the need
And oh, he could've predicted how *his* team would've reacted. So close
things, and so *angry* at the perceived ingratitude. And so very, very far gone that it
wouldn't have taken any thought at all to go from trying to stop the League to actively
trying to kill them. But the others...
The League. He'd watched them fight themselves and knew it would only
be a matter
of time before *they* lost control.
Perhaps if Diana had managed to kill their Batman. And that would have
been so very,
Clever Clark to call on Lex.
*Idiot* Flash to *push* Superman.
He shakes his head, and straightens Wally's legs. Ties them down.
Straighten his arms.
So much heat in the man's body. So long and lean and burning with that
Was he too warm?
He closes his eyes and searches out the hidden catches, fingers trembling with.
He stares at his hands until they stop shaking, splayed out on Wally's
forgotten, oh he'd forgotten) chest, pale against all the simple red.
But he knows it, has *lived* with it in the years after his own Flash's
death, in the
weeks and months since he'd found this Flash's universe. He is patient, and Wally is
And he is not a monster.
He slips the top of the uniform off, all but the mask, unsurprised by
the lack of armor
Confidence was always Flash's armor.
And he is lovely.
He works the restraints onto Wally's wrists, testing the flex and stretch
of muscle. Making
Allows himself a long, slow stroke from the hollow of his throat, over
the expanse of his
chest, close, so close to a nipple. Not even hard yet.
"... fuck *what*?"
Wakes immediately, tense beneath his skin and. Remembering.
And Wally is struggling.
Weakly, achingly *slowly* for him, but still struggling.
"Don't hurt yourself."
He checks his watch, and it's at least an hour before the dose should
be wearing off.
Mustn't forget his metabolism.
He moves out of the shadows, and even from behind the mask, he can see
fighting off the drugs, fighting to focus.
It's an effort not to smooth his forehead.
An effort to wait.
"I. Oh my God it's *you* --"
Fear in the voice, confusion. Rage. He closes his eyes behind his mask and nods.
"But... I thought... Batman *convinced* you!"
And the *outrage*. It's so sweet. So pure he has to smile, just a little.
"I changed my
But it makes Wally struggle harder, vibrating his legs and bare arms,
the restraints, and even though he knows how strong the man is, how much he can
"Don't do that. Please."
A snarl and sweat breaks out on Wally's chest, flushed and bare. So bare.
He reaches out, and the first touch of his palm to skin makes Wally
*vibrate* and he's
fighting so *hard*.
"Let me go!"
"The restraints are designed with you in mind. And you won't trick me again --"
"Let me *GO*, dammit!"
"I. I can't do that."
And he's using every bit of strength to hold the man, hold him still,
hold him *down*,
but Wally won't stop fighting.
A small voice in his head, amused and just familiar enough to cut: Did
you really think
He forces himself to move back, and loads another dose into the injector.
Aims carefully, because the chest is the best target, but it wouldn't
do to let this get
to close to the heart.
Watches Wally snarl and fight and slow, slow, stop.
When he has something like control over himself back (and oh, it's painful,
admit the loss. And strange to wonder whether he should be happy about the bitterness),
he leaves the small room.
Strips himself down to Bruce and goes up the stairs, into the closed
off and forbidden
part of the mansion. Beyond.
The mindlessly efficient butler -- but never a replacement for Alfred,
no such thing -- is
polishing silver and humming to himself when Bruce finds him.
He nods smartly when Bruce hands him the list of supplies, not so much
as raising an
eyebrow at its contents.
"You'll be wanting these immediately then, Master Wayne?"
"As soon as you can, Evan," he says, pasting a gentle smile on his face
with effort. "I
know the streets aren't as safe as they could be these days."
A snort, and the young man flips hair out of his eyes. "It's hard to
say whether I regret
the Justice Lords' absence or not."
Bruce can feel the smile change on his face, but the fool, of course,
"Don't bother to regret it, Evan."
"As you say, Master Wayne."
And then the boy is off, and Bruce is alone. He forces himself to stay
in the 'public'
parts of the mansion, wondering if Evan ever wonders what he does in the other parts.
If he cares.
Wondering how soon Wally will wake up.
Eventually, he can't keep himself from pacing, back and forth and back
servants' entrance, the kitchen, the entry to the forbidden areas.
He wants to be able to *see* Wally, he could wake up anytime.
And he knows he's being illogical, and *that* cuts, but. But.
He should've ordered the supplies sooner. He should've thought to install
mechanism for monitoring the Cave from the mansion proper.
Evan returns, somewhat rumpled, but none the worse for wear.
He startles when Bruce yanks the bags and packages from his arms, but
"I could put those away --"
"I'll take care of it, Evan. Take the night off. In fact, why don't
you take the next few
days? Paid, of course." He holds on to the steadiness in his voice with raw effort, but
can't make himself manage a smile.
The boy nods slowly, watching him from beneath his lashes before pulling
on his own
carefully professional face. "Of course, Master Wayne.... good night."
He bore watching.
Maybe more than that.
He waits until he hears the man's car pull out, watching from a window
to make sure
he was in it, alone, and then barely manages to keep himself from *running* to the
To keep himself from calling out and --
He pauses. Stares down at himself.
Bags and packages and impeccably-tailored suit. Bare skin.
In the *Cave*, with someone *there*, for the first time since.
He shakes and bites his lip against the cry bubbling up in his throat like so much bile.
And can't make himself pull the suit back on.
He finds Wally suspiciously still and has to smile, just a little.
Sets the bags down beside him and waits.
The first twitch is... endearing to the point of pain.
"Oh, man, those are *Doritos*, aren't they?"
No mere plastic can defeat superhero senses.
"And... God, do I smell *Yodels*?"
He crouches beside the bed. Wally still hasn't turned to face him, but
it's close. So
close. "I... I remembered. What you liked."
And it makes Wally's mouth twist into something that looks *painful*,
he can reach out, "it wasn't me."
"I said. It wasn't *me*."
Utterly vehement. Utterly *wrong*, but... But. "All right."
Silence, and he doesn't -- precisely -- want to make Wally *ask* for the food, but.
But nothing. He pulls out the first thing he can get his hand on, cupcakes
packed with sugar and preservatives they would survive a nuclear apocalypse. A
good thing, considering what was going on just outside.
He sits on the bed, and tears it open, and finally, *finally* Wally
turns to look at him.
And he's about to say something, it's written all over his face, but. He *sees* him.
Another smile he can't help, and doesn't bother to try. He nods, and
shoulders flex like (he wants to reach out?) he wants to move, and he shakes his
And that's... an excellent question. One he doesn't have an answer for,
or at least
not a complete one. "I had to," he says.
And something... *flares* on Wally's face, something like *understanding*,
makes Batman's heart flex in his chest. Makes his hands shake *again*.
But before he can humiliate himself, Wally's stomach growls. He could
pet it. Kiss
the skin pulled so taut, so perfectly --
He shakes it off internally and pulls out the first cupcake, offers
it on the ends of
his fingers and Wally.
This could kill him, because Wally doesn't hesitate, doesn't snark,
anything but *take* it. Eating the first in two bites, licking his lips, tongue so close
to Batman's fingers.
He takes another out.
Watches, and feels more naked than he ever has, and Wally makes. Little
Hunger sounds, pleasure sounds that his mind won't *let* him apply to food.
He reaches for another and freezes at the realization that the box is empty.
A little laugh, slightly cracked. Still beautiful. "I'd ask for the
Doritos next, but
you'd kill me with the one at a time shtick."
"You... don't. Mind?"
And Wally looks at him like *he's* cracked. "Of course, I *mind*. Jesus,
you freaking kidnapped me and took me to another *dimension*. That's *bad*.
But I haven't figured out a way to get out of these stupid cuffs and you have
"I. I'll never hurt you."
"Funny how that was more believable *before* you kidnapped me. *Twice*."
He wants that warmth back, those *sounds* back... "Do..." He shakes
and pulls out the Doritos, grabbing a greasy, dusty handful.
And Wally is still glaring at him, but he arches up just the same. Eats
Batman's fingers, lips touching his palm with heart-stopping speed. Accidentally.
He grabs another handful.
Wally finishes the Doritos, and the disturbingly tempting cinnamon rolls,
the 'chocolate' cakes.
Settles back against the pillow.
"Are you uncomfortable?"
There's something faraway on his face. Batman wants to pull the mask off.
"Can I..." He shakes his head and grabs a small towel from the bathroom,
it with warm water and wipes Wally's face as gently as he can.
It makes Wally shake, all over.
"Flash. Are you... what can I do?"
Small, twisted smile. "You can let me go."
"No, I can't."
Silence, stillness. He doesn't *look* uncomfortable. He looks.
Wally swallows and Batman reaches out before he can think, stopped only
another one of those laughs. "I don't. I really don't want to know what you plan to
do about the fact that I have. Bodily functions."
Drug you. Hold you. *Mine*. "I won't hurt you."
"God. God, this is so fucked *up*. What the hell do you *want*? It's
not like I
have the secret to... to taking over the world or whatever the hell you psychotic
evil types want to do."
"That was Superman."
"You're not -- Christ, you're not *helping*. You --" And then Wally
his head back against the pillow again and again.
Laughs. Long and loud and just a little helpless.
"I just get the feeling that... somebody needs to be watching Batman.
Batman. Because I don't think anyone really knows just how screwed up you
He chances a smile. "Superman does."
Head-shake. "This is so... why are you *doing* this?"
Because I'm lonely. Because you were there. Because you're *you*. "Because
you're the only one left who knows who I am."
"But that... that doesn't make any *sense*!"
"I know. But it's the truth."
And the expressions cross Wally's face almost too fast to see, but it's
so they're obvious and open and true. And for a moment, just a moment, there's
something like sympathy that makes Batman want to hang himself.
And makes him warm, deep inside.
Wally blinks. Settles with an excess of stretch and *move*.
"*Do* you have to relieve yourself?"
A blanch. "Jesus, fuck, no. Not now. Christ, how long are you going
to keep me
"I don't know."
"You can call me Bruce. If you want to."
A shiver, and Wally shakes his head mutely, lips pressed together.
"And I... there's other food. That I can get for you. Do you like roast beef?"
"God, stop, just *stop*. Just..."
Batman nods, and stays silent.
Watches and wants and gives up.
Brushes his hand over the curve of Wally's scalp, mask so thin he can
clump of hair beneath.
It had been blond in the casket. Too long. Silky.
He almost, almost can't feel Wally shake.
And it doesn't last.
He doesn't push up against his touch, or even *against* it, but he accepts
And the mask is smooth, so smooth, but eventually his palm starts to
are silkier places to touch. More of himself to touch *with*.
He bites back a groan and doesn't get all of it.
Wally stiffens. "Are. Are you..."
Say it, God, *say* it, but Wally doesn't finish. Doesn't -- quite -- look at him.
Batman gets up and shoots him again.
"Jesus fucking *Christ*, I'm tied to the *bed*, I'm not *fighting* you -- *why*?"
"I have to."
And it freezes him, makes him *ache*, but Wally doesn't say anything else. Or...
His lips are moving, but there's no sound.
Batman waits a minute, another, and unhooks the restraints.
Lifts Wally into his arms.
And carries him into the bathroom.
Wally laughs against his neck, quiet and breathy. "I could've. Heh.
Held it... oh
fuck what are you..."
First touch of velvet skin, soft and fragile and he can hold on. He *can*.
Wally turns away as much as he can.
And he's half-asleep before they get back to the bed, and it's so easy
lay him down.
On his stomach.
Because it's not healthy for him to stay in one position.
Because his back is broad and muscled and tan.
Batman turns Wally's head to the side carefully and reaches for the
Wally's breath is even, the tension on his forehead easily smoothed
legs are tense, but Batman can take care of that, too.
Stretches them, one at a time.
Bends them at the knees.
Kisses the hollow at the base of Wally's spine and mouths it and licks
back, pulls *back*.
Methodically, if not calmly, massages Wally's thighs. Re-locks the restraints.
And part of him wants to get up, get *off* the man, go sit down, have
pride, *something*, but.
He doesn't have so much as a cramp.
He can stay like this... for as long as he wants to. Straddling Wally's
stroking his soft skin.
It doesn't take long at all.
A muzzy groan, a shift that pushes Batman up on his knees. Wally's metabolism
would be terrifying if it wasn't so wonderful.
A smile he can feel more as a series of muscle movements: lips pulling
He strokes his way up Wally's back, thumbs to the man's spine. Does
it slow and
waits for the tension to leave him.
Does it again.
"Bruce..." Slurred and muzzy and *wrong*, even now, even here, but so
So. He's hard behind his weak and useless suit pants.
He's been hard for a very long time. "Wally..." And he has no idea what
to say, or if there are even words at all, but it doesn't matter.
He leans in and presses his lips to the back of Wally's neck, mouth
border between mask and hot, bare skin.
"Let me take off your mask."
"It never meant that much to you. Not as much as it did to me. Let me take it off."
"Bruce. Bruce, don't do this --"
Bites down hard and Wally is rigid beneath him, vibrating with tension
holds. Fades. "Let me touch you."
And Wally shakes, shakes his head. The pillow is visibly damp beneath
and it kicks something over inside him.
Some kind of engine, implacable and inhuman. He leans up, leans in,
body to the length of Wally's own.
Licks the pillow, tasting acid spit and the memory of chocolate and
Right there and impossible to resist.
He licks his way past Wally's teeth, some part of him still with the
be surprised at the lack of a bite. Tastes the man's tongue and ignores the awkward
angle until his neck is screaming at him, until his lungs are screaming for air.
They're both gasping now, Wally so strong. Strong enough to *move* him
And Wally's moan sounds like pain, and he struggles against the restraints,
lip so hard blood ribbons down his chin. Batman licks that off, too, and Wally stills,
Small, ancient smile. "What happens if I say no?"
Another shiver, full-body, and Wally... laughs. "Bruce. One day you're
going to learn
how to make people trust you when you say you won't. Hurt them."
He smiles, and knows Wally can feel it by the way his own smile falls
off his face.
"Teach me. Later."
And then he can't wait anymore, can't even understand the *concept*,
Wally's skin is salty with sweat and the muscles bunch and flex beneath his tongue.
Because Wally can't move, and can't fight.
And Wally won't say no.
Batman licks a stripe down the center of his spine, blood hot beneath
his skin at
Wally's choked-off gasp and it's easy, so easy to tear off the ridiculous suit. Toss the
tie and the jacket away and rip the silk shirt and he presses himself down, presses
He wants to know what his scars feel like against Wally's skin.
He's not going to ask. Yet.
Kisses Wally's throat, makes love to it with his mouth, and it's been
so long. So
Barbara never let anyone touch her throat and Barbara was.
Wally is *here*, and he likes it, he can *feel* it.
Hear it in the moans Wally doesn't know how to block, and Batman wants...
wants to make Wally feel good, so good.
And he will.
Mouths wet kisses all over his back and bites the sharp angles of the
blades when Wally shifts and moves and *writhes* and he can't stop until all he
can taste is his own spit, until he's left red, angry welts with his teeth, and he
God, he almost can't *hear* Wally over the pound of his own heart, and
wants to force himself to slow down, wants to have every minute, every second
of this burned onto his brain -- so much more than the tapes will allow him -- but
Forces himself up and crawls backwards toward the foot of the bed and
down Wally's tights as gently as he can. Not slow, he can't manage slow, but.
The sweet, perfect *round* of it. Only slightly paler than his back,
and oh, he
wants to see that. Wants to see Wally's perfect and innocent smile as he realizes
he's alone under his own sun.
But Wally flexes, tenses again. He knows -- or thinks he knows -- what's
to happen next.
And Batman doesn't know what look is on his face, and a part of him
Wally can't see it, and that's all the thought he can manage before he takes hold.
Spreads him wide.
And kisses him.
"Oh *GOD* --"
And it makes Wally fight, but that's the way it always happens. No one
thinks of this, no one ever knows or *wants* to know they can want this.
But Batman knows, and he won't let go.
Tongues his way in, too far gone to think to tease, and *shows* him.
is bucking and shaking and the sounds, oh God, the *sounds*.
Open-mouthed and desperate, and Batman thinks: this, just. *This*.
And he listens, he thinks his skin must be drinking it. Every moan,
and the taste here is just as dark and perfect as anything he could want. So
human and so vulnerable.
"I love you," he says, and means it, more than anything, but he doesn't
think Wally can hear him.
So he writes it with his tongue and squeezes it into the meat of Wally's
with his fingers and doesn't stop.
Not until Wally is hoarse.
And when he pulls away Wally tries to follow, as far up on his knees
as he can
manage with the restraints, and Batman hates himself for ever wanting to
wear clothes, wants to kill the *world* for making them necessary. Strips off
his shoes and shocks and pants and shorts, and for a moment it's almost good
enough to be naked.
Naked and staring down at Wally, and the angle isn't the best, but Wally's
And he crawls back onto the bed and strokes, petting away welts and
the blood back into incipient bruises.
"I will give you *anything*," he says, and Wally jerks, shakes, and
Batman slides his hand between his legs Wally's cock is slick with pre-come.
Hard and tight and beautiful in his fist.
He can't wait for this, either.
Settles on his knees and jerks him slow --
"God -- oh God, I. *Bruce* --"
No, fast. Have to do it fast, give him that, anything he wants, anything.
want you to come, Wally..."
Wordless cry and Wally tosses his head like a horse, thrusts into the
of his fist and cries out again.
"You're so beautiful..." And every stroke feels like it's for his own
cock, like some
brutally kind circuit has finally, finally been completed and all Batman has to do
is what he wants.
What he feels.
And everything fades to image and sensation:
Wally, coughing out wordless pleas.
Wally, bucking into his fist faster, harder.
Wally's bruised hips and Wally's long spine and the wet, pink pucker
of Wally's ass,
bared and mindlessly, senselessly lush as any delicacy and.
Wally, howling with the force of his orgasm and yanking Batman's own
of his body, yanking his mind and his *hurt* away and leaving nothing but the spill
Bright and shining all over Wally's back and hip.
He has to tell his fingers to uncurl, to let go. And when he does...
Wally collapses, panting and. Vibrating.
It doesn't stop when Batman strokes him. It.
The sound is... inhuman. *Hurt*.
"Wally..." And he has nothing to say, because. Wally's mask is dark
and Wally won't stop *shaking*.
Batman crawls off the bed and loads the injector. Shoots Wally in the shoulder.
Loads a half-dose and does it again. He doesn't even jerk this time.
Stares at his hands and waits for thought, ideas, *something*. Something
the curling, roiling mass of *emotion* in his belly and the way the hunger just...
leaks out of the center of it. Like it's the only thing he can handle anymore.
Or just the only thing he has left.
Wally's breaths aren't as even as they could be.
Batman licks his fingers clean.
Batman works quickly and as calmly as he can at the computers, using
secure-as-he-could-make-it connection to the Cave to upload everything he can
possibly think of that might bear relevance. Articles, essays. The thesis Dick had
never bothered to hand in, because he hadn't, technically, majored in theoretical
Intellectually, he knows there wasn't time to learn all that he could
have, but a
part of him had spent quality time cursing him for it anyway.
For *trusting* him.
Because the fact of the matter was that there were firmly defined limits
which he didn't trust himself, and no amount of stress, violence, and
Superman-related sturm and drang should've allowed him to forget it.
But he had, and Flash.
Hadn't showed up at the Tower.
He doesn't think the others have really thought about it yet.
Even Green Lantern had shrugged off the man's absence from their usual
rendezvous point, making some comment about smacking him.
They're all doing very, very well at repressing the events of the past few weeks.
He'd be proud of them if it wasn't so phenomenally *stupid*.
But, no, the Lords were all powered down and locked away, and their
had seemed so *nice*, once you got to know him.
He could cheerfully wring all of their necks.
One at a time, all at once...
He sighs to himself and keeps running through the files. It's not like
any of *them*
could be any help with this.
*He'd* built the dimensional transporter.
And there was no one to blame for it but his own clever little mind.
His own... desires. Clever or not.
Because he knows *exactly* where Flash is now, and even though he doesn't
think he would actually do any permanent damage...
Buzz in his ear.
"Batman, I'm at Flash's apartment."
And for a moment, just a moment, he can hope. But Superman's voice is
and blank. He feels his jaw clench. "He took him."
"How did you -- don't answer that. You're right. I can... smell. Traces
portal he must have used."
"I'm on it. Don't touch anything -- I might need the evidence."
A pause, and Batman has enough time to think "for once, he'll shut up
he's supposed to," but.
The connection is still open.
"Bruce... what will he --"
"I'm *on* it. Batman out."
He rips the communicator out of his ear and tries to focus on the monitors.
Of course Superman -- *Clark* -- would double-check.
He worries like a woman.
And he is, perhaps, the only person in *this* universe who knew something
about what he was capable of.
All of him.
He shakes it off.
Gets back to work.
It's long past time for the dose, even the larger dose, to have warn
off, but Wally
is still sleeping.
It's... worrying. It's not a drugged sleep so much as a willful one,
and every time
Wally's breathing starts to speed up and go ragged with waking, he makes a
Small and frustrated and desperate, face twisting up.
He pushes himself against the bed like he's fighting it.
He *forces* himself back to sleep.
It doesn't matter.
He's there, and if he wants to sleep... Batman can let him.
It's not quite control -- he's quite sure that he doesn't have enough
of that left to
make any meaningful difference.
By the time he'd made love to Dick, the boy had been too old and too
give up anything.
Barbara had always had too much invested in the world beyond the Cave.
He doesn't want to think about Tim. It's enough to know that he's out
he's alive and going to his doctor. The reports are clear and detailed.
Wally is perfect, so perfect.
Everything he could ever want, and so open, so giving, so *present*.
It almost doesn't matter that he doesn't want to be.
Batman knows he can convince him. Given time.
He dips the sponge in the basin, testing to be sure the water is still
Not as warm as *he* would like it -- Wally's skin is a furnace that makes Batman long
for winter -- but as warm as he thinks might be comfortable.
He strokes it over Wally's hips, getting everything he left behind.
It had been an effort not to use his tongue.
He hadn't entirely succeeded.
But he's still... no.
He's not in control.
He's not himself.
It's the most terrifying thing he's ever had to admit to himself, outstripping
hot, deadly rush of desire when Dick smiled up at him and promised forever, barreling
through everything and leaving behind...
A new person.
Batman thinks he could be happy with Wally.
He thinks he could be Bruce, whoever that will turn out to be.
It's not control.
And it changes everything.
He moves off the bed and dumps the water in the toilet. Flushes it away.
Scratches idly at his belly and considers a shower. But...
He can smell Wally on his skin.
Taste him on his tongue.
He closes his eyes and hums to himself, and part of him wonders what
song it is, and
if he's even in tune, but that doesn't matter, either.
He can hear nothing but the squeak of bats in the heights of the Cave,
and his own
heartbeat, and softly, softly, Wally's breathing.
He returns to the bed, and stretches out beside the man. Smoothes away
and tugs, half-idly, at the edges of the mask. *Wants*, but.
Not yet. Not yet.
Wally's eyes are a surprisingly chilly grey-blue -- he knows that from
the old school
pictures he's collected. The family photos.
He knows, deep inside, that they have to soften in some way when the
motion. *Alive* and moving and living...
He wants to see it. He wants to know what it looks like. If it's all
about the crinkles
at the edges of his eyes, or something in the color itself.
He kisses the blanked-out eye-holes, the bridge of the nose. Even Superman's
was more aggressively sharp. There's a curve here, one of the few on Wally's body.
He presses his lips there and learns it with his skin. Tastes Wally's mouth with slow,
slow care and.
Wally kisses him back, slowly and sleepily and sweetly, so sweetly.
He's found a
better dream, and Batman almost wants to leave him there.
Deepens the kiss instead, cupping Wally's head and letting him feel
his teeth. Letting
him feel his want.
And Wally stiffens and jerks back out of the kiss, blinking warily.
Wincing with new awareness. "Bruce..."
"Wally. I want to be inside you."
And Wally pulls back as far as he can manage, straining and shaking
Bruce strokes Wally's cheek with his thumb. "I want to see your face."
"You. Know what I look like."
"I haven't seen your face since you died."
"And I want you to. I want you to say I can do it. That I can take off your mask."
"Yeah, well, *I* want..." And Wally's voice is strong, sure, but it
trails off into
nothing. There's... he's strangely blank.
"Do you still dance?"
"You used to go dancing. All the time. You would try to make Lantern
-- John --
go with you, and when you came back to the Tower you'd just... so much energy.
I wanted to go with you. Or just... watch you."
The blankness is gone, replaced with something that looks like pain.
He wants to
smooth it away, but it's so *real*.
"I did once. I followed you. I... the club was full of people, so young.
And you were
dancing with *three* different women. I thought you'd pick one, and take her home.
Or maybe all of them. But you just danced. All night."
"I. That was. I remember that night. It was at."
And Wally's shaking his head and frowning, but he's also *remembering*.
"I. I didn't
"I didn't want you to."
And Wally's face crumples. Confusion and the hot, acid scent of sadness.
You're making everything... Why are you *doing* this?"
He kisses Wally's frown, shivering at the feel of it against his mouth,
Wally's mouth goes slack and. Opens.
He can feel the mask get damp again under his thumb, and he kisses harder,
deeper, and Wally shakes and groans and kisses back.
Hard and angry and desperate, and it's all Batman can do to remember
tied. He wants Wally in his arms, he wants to hold him and kiss him and roll them all
over the bed, until they're too tangled to separate.
He settles for kissing him until his head starts to pound from the lack
of oxygen. "I
"You don't. Oh God you *don't* --"
"Let me show you."
And Wally moans and shifts and gasps --
And he kisses him again, quick and hard.
Again, with a swipe of tongue to make sure he understands.
Reaches down beside the bed and digs past packages of junk food until
what he needs.
Moves down the bed and kisses each cheek.
Licks his way down and *in*, just because he can, and the cry falls
out of Wally's
mouth like something inevitable.
He could do this...
God, he could do this forever, and he almost hates his own body for
for having the idiotic *ingratitude* to need more. Because he could make Wally come
Just like this, wailing into the pillow and vibrating with nothing but pleasure.
He wants to.
He promises himself that he will.
But for now...
He pulls back, slicks his fingers with thorough care.
Slips one in, slow as he can manage, and --
"Oh God. Oh *God* --"
In to the second knuckle and the heat is immense, *incredible*, and
he hates every
callus on his finger for taking away sensation, even as he's grateful for them. For what
they must be making Wally feel.
He pulls out until just the tip of his finger is inside, feeling something
tumble and break
inside at the clench of Wally's muscles. So strong. So...
Inside again, and the circuit is back, maddening and beautiful and powerful,
he can feel
this, he can remember his first time, he can remember the way it blinded him, the way
he cried out.
The way Wally's crying out, again and again, with every thrust. He likes this. Oh, he...
Two fingers, and the first twist makes Wally rise off the bed, pushing
back into it and
yelling even more, jerking away and -- *more*.
He hadn't known Wally was a virgin to this. Not for sure. Now... "Oh,
Wally, I need
And Wally's shaking his head and moving, moving...
Into his touch.
Pumping and asking -- *demanding* more. Even with his face in the pillow.
so tender it could kill him.
Break him into a thousand pieces and leave him...
He pulls out as soon he can believe Wally's ready, hands shaking so
badly that he breaks
the first condom and oh, to come *inside* him --
No. Not yet. Not...
He manages to get one on, and then he can't wait anymore.
Holds Wally still, trying not to squeeze against the bruises, trying
to be gentle, but
when the head of his cock slips in, he has nothing left.
All he can do is hold on hard and *do* this.
Thrust his way inside, *fuck* his way in, and the tightness, the unbearable
"I love you. Oh, I love you so much..."
Raw animal *wail* from Wally, and the feel of his balls slapping against
makes his eyes roll back in his head.
Makes him just...
He half-falls on top of Wally, driving him down against the bed and
sliding his hands
up over the flexing arms, holding them, holding them down, loving the way it
forces him to stretch, loving Wally's height and beauty.
And his hips might as well be *oiled* for this, he could've been *made*
for this, for
just this moment of sweetness and *heat*.
Wally makes an 'hunh' sound every time he thrusts.
Wally shakes and pushes and begs and they're rocking the bed, sturdy as it is.
And Batman mouths the back of Wally's neck, bites it and licks it and
Batman stares at the monitor into something that isn't alien enough.
The ground is black and sandy. The sky is alive with roiling clouds.
And the remains of the Daily Planet globe glares like a sign.
He hasn't found it yet.
"Christ..." Superman. Again.
"You couldn't focus on *Gotham*?"
"There was nothing recognizable left. I needed to be sure this *was* Earth."
"You need to sleep, Bruce." Hand on his shoulder, casually possessive.
"I need you to leave, *Clark*."
"You don't have to be the one to run through all of these alternate
grunt work. We're better rested than you are."
"I don't --"
"Bruce. We need you in peak condition when we *do* find the right one.
the only one who can beat... him."
He feels his jaw work. Almost believes the man and takes that as proof
of how tired
he actually is. Manipulative bastard. "Any one of you can crush his skull with a
"Yeah, but we don't do that. Remember?"
And. Fuck. "You don't. You don't know." Hates and *hates*.
Clark spins his chair around with sickening ease. Smiles at him with
a cynical edge
that fits too well for anyone's comfort. "Don't I?"
If he bites his cheek hard enough to make it bleed, then. He can bleed.
swallows. "We can't afford to waste any time."
"Leave the communicator in. We'll wake you the second we find anything."
He whirls, and Diana is in the doorway, looking at him with centuries
of pleading in
her eyes. Compassion.
How long had she been there?
Too tired. Too tired, too weak, pathetic and useless...
He stands, steady as he can force himself to be, and slides the communicator
Wally is on his back again, awake and still.
The picture of loose-limbed pliancy.
Batman brushes a few stray crumbs off the pillow and hums to himself,
down deep. Wally likes roast beef, with horseradish.
Enough for five sandwiches.
He wonders if he likes ham. Pastrami, rye bread... Such simple tastes.
every swallow Wally takes.
He strokes the edges of the mask and frowns. It's starting to stiffen
with salt. He
wonders if it's uncomfortable.
Wally takes a deep hitching breath and blinks, obviously coming back
"You didn't eat. Don't you. Eat."
"I..." And no, no one could ever predict Wally. No one. "I wasn't hungry."
"You should eat. You might... heh. Start to feel a little *weird*."
Sharp little smile
that Batman can't help but return.
"I will. Eventually."
Wally nods. Takes another hitching breath. "Did you. You said you watched
Were there... any other times?"
"When I followed you...? Not often. The first time, I just followed
you home. It
wasn't long after the team formed. After I finally decided to be a part of it."
Ghostly smile. "Yeah. You were never exactly *enthusiastic* about the
always wondered..." The smile falls off his face.
Batman brushes his thumb over Wally's mouth. "What?"
"I. Oh." Hot breath on his thumb, the tiniest brush of tongue. Batman
to himself hard. "I wondered why you stayed. Why you didn't just tell us all to...
to fuck off and go back to wherever you came from." Blurted out fast, an
invitation -- a plea -- to ignore that lick.
He manages to do so, but doesn't take his thumb away. "I stayed, at
it was a good idea. And I couldn't come up with anything better, you... all of you
*needed* me, and we did good work. Important work of the kind I couldn't
manage on my own."
Slow, careful nod that doesn't quite dislodge his thumb, and doesn't
quite rub it
against Wally's mouth. Much.
"There were other reasons, later."
He wants to see Wally's face. He's willing to pay for the privilege,
if that's what
Wally wants. "You."
Shiver that doesn't so much end as get cut off, with a vicious efficiency
very new. He doesn't know how he feels about it.
"And... despite my best efforts to the contrary, I formed... relationships
the team. Even friendships."
"With... with *me*?"
He presses hard, just for a moment, just to feel Wally's teeth under
his lip. "No.
I never... even when I knew what I wanted, or when I thought I knew... it was
easier to watch. You let me watch. Diana and Superman -- Clark -- didn't."
"His name is... wait. Wait. I don't want to *know* that." And he pulls
fast as ever, but.
He can't get far.
Batman pulls him into a kiss that's only hard and awkward for a second
Wally surrenders, and then it's just *hot*.
Wet and soft and good.
"I wanted you, Wally. I wanted you so much I *ached*."
He throws his leg over Wally's own and *presses*, and God, he can see
register it. Batman's nudity and his own.
Soft moan and Batman waits, *waits*.
And Wally leans in and kisses him with sloppy, mindless lust, turning
against the restraints and Batman takes him in hand.
Strokes him slow and hard.
"I wanted you," he says again. "But I was too much of a coward to do
"Oh God --"
"I thought it would pass. And then I thought it could wait."
"I was an arrogant fool. Because you *died*, Wally --" Squeezes hard
strokes faster, running a thumb over the leaking head. So wet, already so wet --
"Let me take your mask off."
"Please God please --"
"I'll never let you go."
And Wally arches and wails and comes, all over Batman's fist, all over
Batman shivers and slides his messy hand over Wally's chest, up to his
and the edges of the mask. "Wally..."
"Drug me, Bruce. You. You love me, so drug me again. I don't want...
oh God I
And Batman bites his own lip hard enough to make it bleed. Pulls the
from under the pillow.
And shoots him.
"What -- what the hell do you mean, *wait*?"
Batman watches the monitor. The angle is bad -- the little touches his
number had added, the real-time view, is just a little beyond them.
He could make it better. Someday he will. Not now.
"We can't see him, Clark," he says, as gently as he can. His eyes are
forces himself to blink.
"We can see *Wally*. We can see -- Christ. *Christ*, what did he *do*?"
He doesn't bother to answer that question. Flash is naked, stripped
everything but the mask. Bruised. Asleep, in a sodden way that suggests drugs.
Or maybe it's just that he knows that *he* would. Drug him.
He swallows bile. "He could be anywhere, Clark. He could have set up
some sort of
monitor that lets him know we're watching."
"I. *Bruce*. We can't just leave him there. Let me get the others, let
A vein throbs in his temple, behind the mask. "Think for a minute. Do
think Wally wants the others to see this? Wants *Hawkgirl* to see this?"
"God. Oh God."
And then he's there, walking into frame with a loose casualness that
can't even *imagine*.
"That son of a *bitch*."
Naked, he's naked, and he. Sits on the bed. Strokes Flash's face with
He takes his hand off Superman's arm.
And Superman has him before Batman's even through the portal, has him
throat and so far in the air that his feet don't touch the ground.
He doesn't spare a look for Superman, though.
He stares at *him*, eyes narrow with rage and black hatred.
"Get him free, Batman. Get him out of this."
"I won't kill him."
And then they're back through the portal.
Flash hasn't moved. Perhaps a blessing.
Batman undoes the restraints after a moment to figure them out. Not
different from the ones used before.
He finds Flash's uniform folded neatly beside the bed, and manhandles
the top and doesn't think. Doesn't think.
The pants are.
Sliced neatly, perfectly into uselessness. Something that could be easily
given time and patience.
Walks back into the Cave proper and breaks the case with Dick's Nightwing
The size is almost right.
When he gets back to the nook where Batman's placed the bed -- and he'll
not be able to see it there, not even in his own Cave, not ever -- Wally is stirring.
And it hits him hard and awful, just awful. Just like the first hot,
deadly rush of
desire for Dick, but.
But Flash doesn't know it's him.
The portal shows nothing but an empty room. He knows how to close it
And Flash is shifting, moving... naked from the waist down and half-hard.
"Bruce, what..." A slow, lazy giggle. Not quite drugged enough not to
horribly lost. "You let me go. Does this mean --"
"I'm not him."
And Flash freezes. Winces hard and obviously behind the mask. And then,
then moves to cover himself. "Oh God. Oh. Oh fuck..."
He tosses Dick's tights over as gently as he can.
Turns to face the portal.
Flash walks through without a word.
Stares at the Tower like it's just another alien world. Paces.
Stares *hard* at Batman like there's something on his face, like there's
And Batman can't breathe.
And then Lantern and Hawkgirl and Diana are there, surrounding Flash
smiles, hugging him.
He watches Flash pull a smile onto his face like. Like.
It's not hard to find Superman and the other.
Superman has, brilliantly or instinctively, picked the one place in
the Tower no
one else will go: his own rooms.
The other is on the floor in a position Batman knows will remind his
body of every
old scar, every old wound. He doesn't have to wonder if Superman knows, too.
The other is unconscious.
They stare at him for long moments.
"I told you I wouldn't kill him."
"I didn't think you would."
Humorless snort. "Liar."
"What are you planning on doing with him?"
It shakes Superman out of himself and back into Clark. That intimacy
be denied, won't die. "What? What do you mean --"
"We can have him arrested. Pile a stack of crimes on his head. Have
He watches realization dawn on Clark's face, and can't make himself stop.
"You take off his mask, Clark, and you take off *mine*."
Clark flinches like Batman's slapped him. He supposes he has. But then
settles. Straightens. "Is that really so bad?"
He doesn't bother to stop his smirk. "You tell me, Clark. Are you ready
Arkham in permanent lockdown, yet?"
"The Joker. Maybe you're ready to do that little trick with your heat
his frontal lobe?"
"Christ, *Bruce* --"
"Ivy, Harley. *Harvey*."
"They get out all the time, Clark. They want me dead. I can't really
"Christ. *Christ*." Cracked little laugh. "And those are just the humans."
Batman nods. Stares at the other. He's not faking unconsciousness. Yet.
"Bruce. I can't. We *can't* just kill him."
He doesn't say anything.
He watches the other breathe. There's a truly impressive bruise rising
"Fucking *hell*, Bruce, would you just quit with the Grim Avenger routine
*second*? My God, if we kill him... if we. Then what the hell have we *learned*?"
Trust Clark to look for the moral. And it's tempting to shut the man
him *up*, if only for just this once. But. He shakes his head. Pastes an easy,
gentle smile on his face. "I'm the smart one, right, Clark? I'll figure something
And Clark relaxes visibly. Trusting.
"Help me get him out of here."
"The Cave." His smile this time isn't gentle at all, but it's real. "Where else?"
They put him in one of Batman's older uniforms, without the cape and
Or the boots.
Clark doesn't say a word when he pulls out his own injector and shoots
man up. The dosage is worrying -- there's no telling what tolerances he's built up --
but, they've done what they can.
J'onn watches them go, standing ever so casually in the doorway between
the hangar and the rest of the Tower, between them and the others, who still
They take the Javelin down, silent for most of the way, the other tied
and strapped in tight.
It's not an awkward silence, but. "Flash."
"He's. He's going to. Need."
And Clark looks at him with an expression trapped between sympathy and
sickness. "We'll take care of him, Bruce."
And then it's just a matter of landing and getting the other inside.
Alfred raises an eyebrow at what they're carrying, and gives Batman
searching look before nodding to himself. "The new additions to the Cave
are in working order, Master Bruce."
"Thank you, Alfred."
He nods at Clark. "Master Superman." Leaves.
He wishes he can believe that Alfred would really be able to tell...
He shakes it off, internally, and leads Clark deeper into the Cave.
aren't in the most convenient place he could've chosen, but.
The wall is there. The blank one he knows he'll need some day soon.
For the others.
"Do I even want to know *why* you built these, Bruce?"
"It seemed like a good idea at the time."
"Riiight." And Clark shakes his head and holds the other still while
locks him into the carefully copied restraints.
He closes the clear, bulletproof-glass of the cell door and moves to
combination lock. Pauses. "Give me a five digit number."
"Why... Oh. Five-two-nine-three-three."
Batman nods and sets the lock, and the last beep shakes something loose
inside him. He's more exhausted than he's ever been.
Hand on his shoulder. "I'd tell you to just go upstairs and get some
I didn't have to get back to the Tower."
Batman breathes, holding onto the rage for long moments against the
the sickness and the crawling, terrible envy. Gives up and nods again,
slowly. "Let's go."
"Will Alfred know...?"
"I trust him more than I do myself." And that wasn't what he'd meant
at all, but Clark doesn't question it.
And the flight back to the Tower is silent, and uneventful.
Clark squeezes his shoulder one more time, and leaves him to retire
He showers for a long, near-thoughtless time.
Stares at the ceiling for twelve minutes.
Gets up and scrubs the space where the other had lain, scrubs it until it shines.
Lays back down and lasts for nearly seven minutes before he has to clean
entire space. And it's more than a little disturbing -- it's not one of the
obsessions he's had time to become accustomed to -- but, it's also exhausting.
He sleeps with the smell of disinfectant and doesn't dream.
Wakes and has a moment to wish he *was* dreaming, another to wish he
didn't know why he was awake.
Another to hate himself for the weakness, and then Flash clears his throat.
Batman opens his eyes.
"You sleep in the uniform."
It isn't a question. "Sometimes."
He forces himself to sit up and turn.
Flash is standing in the doorway, backlit into a silhouette.
A shaking, unsteady silhouette. God. "Flash --"
"I'm sorry to wake you up. I'm." A laugh that can't seem to decide what
to stay in.
If it was anyone else, he'd get up and pull him into a hug, grumbling
about the necessity.
He feels like he's been nailed to the bed, like he could be bleeding,
even now, and
his mind just hasn't gotten it together enough to feel the pain.
"It's okay, Flash," he says in the gentlest voice he can manage, but
Flash go *rigid*.
And Batman remembers the tenderness in the other's touch.
"Flash." And it's impossible, utterly impossible to force his voice
into its usual
register. He tries anyway. "You shouldn't be here." The result makes him sound
like a madman.
And Flash is rocking on his heels and hugging himself. "Oh, I know, I know, but..."
Batman waits, helpless.
"But see, here's the thing. You're the smart one. You *know* things.
Rush of air and Flash is right *there*, inches away and tracing the air over and
around Batman's mask. His face.
Another rush and he's in the opposite corner, hands braced against the
slumping, tensing, slumping again.
"There's something I need help with, Bruce. I. Oh fuck, I'm not supposed
you that I'm not supposed to know that I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so so --"
"I --" And Flash drops into a crouch, still with his back to him. Swallows,
loud enough that Batman can hear the click.
He can't look away from the long line of his back, the suit-top red,
tights still. Still.
"There's something I can't decide."
"Tell me," he says before he can bite his own tongue.
"See. Here's the thing," he says to the wall. "On the one hand -- let's
call it the
sane hand, k? -- one the one hand, there's Wonder Woman. Diana. And she's
just so h-h-h-happy to see me. So happy. She was *so* worried, and now I'm
back and I'm s-s-safe and everything's okay."
And Batman thinks, maybe he can feel the nails, after all. Maybe that
make it better.
"She has no *idea*, Batman. She should never. I don't ever want her
Know. You understand."
It isn't a question. "Yes."
"And on the other hand, there's Superman, who. Who *looks* at me. And
he's. His name is Clark, and I'm not supposed to know that, either, but the
thing is, he *looks* at me, Batman."
His turn to dry swallow.
"He looks at me and he *knows*. He can." Flash plucks at his uniform
twice. Zips back to the bed and breathes hot and damp against Batman's
face. "I think he can *smell* it."
"Oh God, Flash, I'm --" And Flash's bright, sudden, *broad* smile makes
teeth click shut.
"And I. Can't. Decide. Which is *worse*."
And there's nothing he can say, not one word.
And before he can force himself to breathe again, Flash is shoving him
against the bed. Hard enough that he bounces, and there are a dozen, a
hundred different moves he could use and he can't think of one.
And Flash is over him, *on* him, hips socketed tight to his own and
wrong to be hard, but he is.
He has been.
He bites back a groan and Flash is... stretching like a cat. Restless
and moving until his palms hit the mattress on either side of Batman's head
and he leans down.
"You want me, Batman. You *love* me. Or... maybe that comes later, right?
That's the big nasty secret, isn't it? That that *other* universe is just a future
one? A nice, *long* look at who we get to be."
He shakes his head and means nothing like no.
And Flash is still grinning, still leaning closer, until his mouth is
a breath, a *shift*
away from Batman's own. Until he's so close Batman can *taste* him.
"Batman... you want me so, so *badly*."
Not a question. "Yes. I wouldn't --"
Flash kisses him, fast and relentless. Licks his way out of Batman's
know all that already. I know so *much* now, Batman. Or am I supposed to
call you Bruce?"
He flinches. He can't help it.
"I think... I think I prefer Batman. Let's just go with Batman for now.
you can call me Flash, because Wally is..." Groan like nothing but pain, and
Wally shakes his head and *rocks* against him.
Drives a gasp out of his mouth.
"You didn't have to do that to me. I would've..." And Flash sits up
knees and rips the mask off, glaring down at him like it means more than just
the usual baring of soul and identity and vulnerability. Like he *knows* it
He can't look away.
And Flash nods, closing his lips against the snarl on his face with
a visible effort.
Runs his hands through sweaty, matted blond hair until it falls in lank strips
over his eyes.
And Batman reaches up, reaches out, and Flash just watches his hands
And then grabs his wrists and *slams* them down against the bed in a
faster than a blink.
"I can hurt you."
"I can make you *pay*."
"*Yes*. Flash --"
Another kiss and Batman thinks he might be crying behind the mask. *Wants*
to be crying, and wants Flash to see it, but even though Flash releases his
As soon as he reaches for his own mask, that iron-hard grip is back.
enough that he can feel bones creak.
"Don't do it. Don't you --"
"I won't. I won't."
And Flash stares at him and breathes.
Laughs loud and hoarse and doesn't stop until he's crying, hands tight
Batman's wrists and head hanging just low enough for a few strands of hair to
brush Batman's lips.
He has enough control to keep from reaching out with his tongue, to
He holds on to it with everything he is.
"I don't know how." Sobbed out with desperate pain.
Flash looks at him, looks into his eyes, face twisted into a rictus.
"I don't know
how to hurt you."
And Flash shakes his head, his face trying to force itself into a smile.
says, shaky and not quite laughing. "Shhh."
And the kiss this time is slower, gentler, Wally sliding back and stroking
with absent apology, stroking his way down his arms and kissing the line of
Batman's jaw, kissing the *suit*.
Nothing he can feel through the thickness of the cowl, and only slightly
on his chest.
He curls his hands into fists, digging his fingernails into his palms
to keep from
And Flash keeps stroking, keeps kissing, all the way down until he's
Batman's cock through the tights, and he thinks this could kill him, this muted,
wonderful *touch*, but finally Wally snarls, mostly to himself.
And tugs the tights down, laughing a little at the protective cup before
it away, and it *hurts*, and he can't stop himself from arching up, but Flash
barely seems to register the bump of Batman's pubic bone before he's pushing
his hips down again.
*Holding* them down and licking him, breathing him in and biting the
of his hips.
And Flash looks up at him for one endless moment.
And sucks him down, sucks him *in* to impossible heat and slickness, tightness --
Hums around him and presses his thumbs into Batman's hips hard enough
leave bruises, hard *enough*, and swallows.
Chokes and pulls back and swallows *again*.
And again, until he learns how, until Batman is shaking with it, groaning
gasp he chokes out, and trying to remember why he isn't begging.
And Flash is strong enough to keep him from thrusting, but it's still
wonderful, because Flash is bobbing his head, fucking his throat on Batman's
cock, fucking himself brutally fast and Batman has enough time to think: Wally.
Before he comes hard, crying out loud as he shoots.
Biting his lip and collapsing back to the bed.
And he *wants*, but Flash is up and off of him, licking his lips and
a kind of blank hunger.
Straddling his thighs and tugging himself out of the tights, the wrong
*Dick's* tights and Batman's cock twitches too soon, twitches painfully, and
Flash's eyelids flutter and his mouth falls slack and he jerks himself once, twice.
Blindingly fast for a dizzying heartbeat, and crying out with what has
Coming all over the suit.
Uncurls his fists.
And Flash opens his eyes and looks at him, lost and angry and scared
And slowly, cautiously, slides down beside him.
Tucks his head against Batman's arm.
Curls in on himself like a child.
"Flash..." He doesn't know what to say. He doesn't know anything.
"I know, I know I'm not supposed to be here I just..."
Batman swallows against the pain in his chest.
"I'm so..." Loud, aching yawn. "I'm so tired, Bruce..."
He doesn't flinch.
And Flash is asleep in seconds, snoring softly. Vibrating gently.
Batman closes his eyes and waits exactly twenty minutes.
Slips out of bed. Tugs the covers carefully, gently over Flash's body.
Changes into the spare uniform.
He finds Clark in the computer room. The portal room. He's staring
into the blanked rectangle.
"I wonder what would happen if you stepped through." His voice is
dreamy and low.
"Into *that*? I think I've read that story. It doesn't have a happy
Clark, we need to talk about Flash --"
And just like that, Clark is there, staring down at him. *Glaring* down
him. "Do we, Batman?"
And Batman's far, far too raw not to flinch. But he recovers. "He's
room right now, *Superman*."
Lip curl. "I know."
"Then you know I'm *not* the one he needs to see right now."
And Clark -- Superman? -- *smiles*. Shakes his head slowly. "Oh, I think
you're *exactly* the one he needs to see."
"Christ, get a fucking *grip*, Clark. He needs *help*. He's... *broken*."
"You broke him." Finger to his chest, hard. "You did. So now you get
"*Listen* to me --"
"No, you listen, *Bruce*. I've had some time to think about this, and
know what I came up with? We need him. We will *always* need him, and
yeah, he needs help from someone who *hasn't* fucking raped and
*drugged* him, someone who knows what they're *doing*.
"But, the thing is -- and pay attention, because this is really. *Fucking*.
Amusing -- if we send Wally to a therapist, the masks come *right* off.
"And someone pointed out how that is, actually, a *bad* idea. So it's
us. And, since you're the *smart* one, it's up to *you*."
"I know a doctor, Clark." And it's weak, pathetically weak to his own
and Superman laughs.
"Of *course* you do. Other superheroes have sidekicks or hideouts. You
have *both*, *and* a therapist. Christ, I don't know why I ever..."
"Go back to him."
"Go *back* to him."
"God *dammit*, Clark, Flash needs --"
"His name is *Wally*, you son of a bitch, and I swear to God, I will
*throw* you back there if I have to."
I didn't do it, he doesn't say.
I wasn't the one.
I don't know what I'm doing, and what the fuck happened to that
oh-so-friendly *hand* on my shoulder, Clark?
He takes a breath, smelling Clark's sweat and all that rage. Nods once, sharply.
And goes back to his rooms.
Wally hasn't moved, though he's muttering in his sleep.
Frowning furiously at.
Batman knows exactly what he's frowning at.
He crawls in beside him and stares at the ceiling for two and a half minutes.
Turns onto his side, and buries his face in Wally's sweaty hair. Rests
gently, loosely over him.
Breathes in, deep and slow.
And closes his eyes.