Continued from here.
"Of course," Jason says, "we just confirmed *every* nasty thing the criminals say about us."
He
sounds like he's laughing inside, but that's not quite all he's doing.
Still, she can absolutely take his lead. "Not *everything*, I don't
think. I've yet to acquire a strap-on and apply it vigorously to Bruce,
just as an example."
Jason laughs softly and pushes up on his elbow, grinning hard. "You loved that comment to fucking *death*, didn't you?"
Tim looks down, and practices her impression of 'demure.' "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."
Bruce shifts, just a little, and -- "To... me?"
Ooh, communication. Interest, even. Tim strokes a small spiral over Bruce's ribs. "With great vigor, yes."
Bruce grunts softly and strokes Tim's shoulder.
Tim shifts a little, and wonders when, exactly, she'd learned to consider rock hard biceps to be such nice pillows.
Jason
sighs and strokes his hand over Bruce's chest until he can hold hers.
He squeezes. "Yeah, I... I gotta admit I hit that guy pretty hard. I
mean, the images alone --"
"Burned indelibly on your brain, Jay...?"
"Well,
*yeah*, baby. I was trying to jerk off that night and I was stuck with
the image of you having *two* dicks, and I was tired enough that I
started to wonder if *that* was why you wouldn't let me into your
tights."
Tim -- coughs. "Ah -- well, yes, that would've been *a* reason, to be sure."
"I'm quite sure," Bruce says -- stops.
Tim
turns her head in a little and thinks about kissing Bruce, thinks
about... she's been rather... very. And very rather, for that matter.
She remembers thinking about how much it turned Jason on, but that
hasn't been the whole of it for quite some time.
It's harder,
now. It feels like... admitting something? Claiming something she's not
supposed to have? She blushes and feels Bruce tense, thinks about
moving her leg *off* Bruce --
"Oh, man, now you're *both*
uncomfortable," Jason says, squeezing Tim's hand and letting go. "Hey,
c'mon, we *already* fucked each other stupid. We can handle the
afterparty."
("And then you're no good to anyone.")
Tim
winces internally and -- all right. Go with it. Afterparty. *Really* --
really. Jason needs her to -- Jason needs them *both* to cope, and the
tenser *she* is, the harder it will be for Bruce to relax. She
compromises a little and nuzzles against Bruce's arm, pressing hard a
few times, breathing him *in* --
He'd smelled like soap when
they'd gotten here. Now he smells like *male*, and a great deal of sex.
And her ass... is talking to her. Mostly in smug little aches and
twinges, but -- yes.
They had really -- yes. So. Talk. Say something. Anything -- "Barbara. I think she knew this would happen," she says, quietly.
"Uh -- really?"
"Barbara
has always been astute. She has only become more so," Bruce says, and
strokes Tim's shoulder again. "And yet I find myself... wondering."
"Well, *yeah*," Jason says and lets go of Tim's hand so he can stroke it, instead, warm it a little -- "What did she *say*?"
She
had definitely started this. "She seemed mostly concerned... um. She
wanted to make sure I knew I could say no, and that I *really* knew
what I wanted."
"Okay, that makes sense. She's really --"
"Did you?" And Bruce is putting just a little pressure on her shoulder.
"Um, *yeah*, B, or she wouldn't have --"
"I knew. And -- I also knew that it didn't really matter," Tim says, and swallows, waits for it --
"What. Tim, no, I -- Jesus, you -- we *talked* about it --"
"It's
all right, Jason, and yes, we *did* talk about it. It's just -- I knew
from the beginning -- from *before* the beginning -- that once we
started I wouldn't really be able to stop. To... I couldn't stop -- oh
--"
Bruce *pulls* her onto her back and turns to --
Well, it really is something of a *loom*. "Bruce --"
"Jesus, B --"
"Are you all right," Bruce says, and it's -- definitely a question. It's just that it's also an *order*.
"So...
I take it that you're remembering that I'm fourteen years old, at the
moment," Tim says, and takes a breath, watches Bruce wince -- she
doesn't need to punish him. "One of the things I told Barbara was that
I didn't want you to treat me like a child, Bruce --"
"Tim, I wouldn't -- it's not that --"
"No?" Tim raises an eyebrow.
After a moment, Bruce stops pinning her by her shoulder and settles back onto the bed, stiff again, but -- it's better.
She
turns back onto her side, gives Jason a look that *should* communicate
that she's all right -- "Bruce. The fact that I get... carried away...
well, it's a *fact*, and I tend to think of it as a positive one."
"But -- Jesus, baby, if you were -- I thought you were *okay* --"
"I
was, for the most part. And you both know when I *wasn't* entirely okay
with what was going on..." Tim shakes her head and taps Bruce's chest
with two fingers. "There was *nothing* I could do to stop this, and, in
the end, it doesn't have a thing to do with either of you," she says,
and *looks* at both of them.
Bruce sits up enough to brace himself on his elbows. He's frowning -- and Jason looks a little sick.
Tim
sighs. "Look, both of you -- I don't have any regrets, and I wasn't
really... I'm not *planning* on having any unless and until Jason
decides that he doesn't really want me, anymore --"
"*Baby* --"
"*Or*
-- Bruce decides to continue to fail at coping with us. I'm *okay*, or
-- I will be. I just need a little time to let this all settle in, and
neither of you are *helping*."
Jason rears back a little, and
-- possibly that *was* a slap. And Bruce is still frowning, but -- but.
He turns enough that he can touch her face, putting light pressure on
her cheek until she meets his eyes.
"Yes, Bruce?"
"I understand... helplessness. And love that doesn't allow freedom."
Tim -- takes a breath. "Yes, *that* --"
"Wait,
no, that sounds *horrible*," Jason says, sitting up all the way and
resting his hand on Bruce's chest again. "You -- I think you're both
seriously missing the *point* of love, here --"
"Perhaps," Bruce says, and turns onto his back again. "But it's what -- we -- know."
Tim nods and slowly, deliberately lies back down. Bruce does the same, wrapping his arm around her again and pulling her close.
Jason
stares at both of them *hard*, eyes wide -- and then he laughs, low and
not especially amused. "Sometimes I think I should be worried about the
two of *you* leaving me."
Tim stiffens and feels Bruce doing the same. "Jay --"
"*No*,
you're both... you understand each other in ways I can't fucking touch
and don't really -- sometimes I think it's better that I *can't* --"
"Jay," Bruce says. "She will never --"
"God, B, you don't know --"
"He
*does*," Tim says and reaches across Bruce's chest until Jason takes
her hand. "I -- you have the better *way*, and I'm trying -- and I
*know* Bruce is trying -- to get there. It's just not *easy*, and what
we have... it's okay so long as there's you. Everything is."
And
Jason is searching her, a little, and maybe they all need to be wearing
signboards with long, detailed lists of their issues and neuroses so
they can *stop* searching each other all the time, but -- she can sit
through it, *lie* through it, and beg with all of herself for Jason to
*understand*.
It takes several moments, but Jason nods, squeezing her hand. "You -- you both need me."
"Yes," Bruce says, and reaches up to squeeze Jason's shoulder.
"Very -- very much. Is what you said, B."
Bruce nods and holds Tim a little tighter.
"God,
that just doesn't stop looking good to me. I wish I knew -- I wish I
could *understand* why, but mostly I'm glad it's there. It just -- I
couldn't handle it if we weren't together in everything, Tim. I need
you too much for that, and I don't know how to say thank you for doing
this, for *being* this, with us --"
"You don't..." Tim shakes
her head. "It's nothing you have to thank me for. I really... Barbara
and I spent a great deal of time discussing Bruce, over and above the
rest of the situation, and... well," Tim says, and squeezes Jason's
hand.
"'Well?' Do we get to hear about that? I mean, is it
more or less traumatic than the rest?" And Jason's grin is small, but
there.
"Trauma is an important part of any romantic relationship," Bruce says, quiet and *dry* --
Jason snorts and lets go of Tim's hand to thump him on the chest. "Fucking *stop* that."
Of
course, Jason doesn't *mean* that, and *probably* Bruce knows that just
as well as she does, but it doesn't hurt to squeeze Bruce a little to
make *sure* he knows --
And because she can.
"Yeah,
okay, I'm done protesting for now. It's *late*," he says, and lies back
down. "You know, it *is* weird to be doing this with you, B, maybe even
weirder than the sex -- do *not* tell me that I can stop, because I
*know* that..."
Bruce nods.
"Anyway, it doesn't --
there were times, over the years, when I've wanted someone in my bed.
Just -- not even sex. Sometimes I used to crawl in with my Mom -- oh,
shit, okay, I'm leaving that thought right there, because -- because,"
and Jason laughs again. "Did I mention being bad at this, yet? 'Cause
-- yeah."
Tim bites her lip and thinks about saying -- something, but --
"Jay," Bruce says, quiet and *full*. "It's -- I understand that I should've been. I've wanted, in the past, to *be* --"
"My
father? Yeah, well, we can't -- have that. We *really* can't. But we
can have other things, and that *includes* this, yeah? Yeah," and he
reaches across Bruce's chest again and squeezes Tim's arm. "So what
*were* you saying about B, baby?"
Barbara's secrets? Maybe,
but she doesn't think so. Barbara had been too *easy* about telling
her, confident and secure and everything Batgirl should always be. "We
talked about attraction. About how it's not really *possible* to be
around Bruce for very long without... without."
"Heh. I think
*I* did pretty well with that for a couple of years, but it's not like
I can't see where she's coming from with that. If I'd had just a few
*different* issues..." And Jason lets go of her again to stroke down
Bruce's chest. "You're kinda hot, B."
"I. She said... that?"
Tim
raises an eyebrow. "I think she'd be surprised to the point of actual
physical pain if you said you *hadn't* noticed her attraction to you."
"It's only that... she's a very private person, Tim," Bruce says, as if Tim *didn't* know that.
Tim
strokes over to Jason's hand for long enough to hook their index
fingers together and then goes back to mapping the scar nearest to her
face. "Yes, she is. And it was very clear that she wanted me to
understand the *history* of relationships within our... family," she
says, and winces --
"Yeah, I think we're just going to keep tripping over that," Jason says. "Keep going."
Bruce squeezes her, firmly and not especially briefly. An offer of comfort? A request?
"I... anyway. She was very understanding of *my* attraction, and told me about a certain night --"
"There had been a bomb. We had time enough neither to escape nor to defuse it. I covered her with my body."
Is
Barbara watching this? Will she make a point of checking it out at
another time? She should know how well Bruce *remembers*. "Ah -- yes."
"The timing was no less appropriate than my feelings."
Jason whistles. "So... you and Babs had kind of a thing?"
"No," Bruce says.
"Kind of," Tim says. "Shouldn't mutual attraction count as 'a thing?'"
Bruce
doesn't answer, and really, it's entirely rational and correct for the
universe they live in that Bruce's face is *somehow* in shadow. But.
Tim rolls away and turns on the bedside lamp, and Bruce raises his
eyebrow at her.
"*Transparency* is an important part of any romantic relationship."
"Hear fucking hear," and Jason taps Bruce's chest. "So it's not just young guys and girls shaped like guys?"
Shaped
like... definitely to the point. And Bruce strokes her arm, perhaps
just in case she hadn't liked that? Tim shifts and looks at Bruce,
trying to read past the darkness and distance of his expression -- she
knows Jason is doing the same thing, and he lacks -- she thinks he
lacks -- the little touches which may as well be designed to...
reassure.
"Seriously, B," he says, and gets up on his elbow again --
And
Tim knows, deeply and absolutely, that if Jason could stay still, Bruce
would be touching him constantly. Perhaps even more than he's touching
her --
"She's a beautiful woman. Brilliant and strong,
determined and... there is a light, within her, that I thought would
dim with time and under her injuries. I have always wished I might be
closer, and hoped that her relationship with Dick would allow for
more... intimacy, between us," and Bruce seems to release as much as he
relaxes. His eyes are still distant, but much of the tension is gone.
"You have a gift for making emotional honesty seem both hideously painful and a vast relief," Tim says.
"You don't find it so, Tim?"
Tim smiles. "Perhaps the former."
"So,
let me get this straight," Jason says, and taps Bruce's chest again. "I
*know* you're not down with Dick's relationship with Kory, but -- it's
because she's getting in the way of you living through Dick in order to
have Babs?"
Bruce smiles wryly. "When you put it that way it seems ridiculously shameful and immature, Jay."
Tim bites back a snicker; Jason doesn't bother.
"Riiiight. Okay, so you basically have issues with all of us *except* for Tim."
"Give
me time," Bruce says, and touches Jason's cheek. "I'm not unaware of my
failings, and I know that that isn't good enough."
Jason nods and reaches up to grip Bruce's hand. "You have us now, B. You'll deal or we'll *torture* you until you deal."
Jason,
using that chair to break a window -- no, not here. That's not... it's
not a part of *this*, and she -- deliberately, again -- slides her leg
against Bruce's own.
"I -- you don't shave, Tim."
"Talk about a fucking *subject* change. Hey, you leave her hair alone. I like it fine --"
"I've
considered it," Tim says, because it's the truth, and because it's a
way away from a fear she wants no part of, right now.
"Seriously, baby, all the other girls I know say it's a pain in the *ass*."
"Well. You know how averse I am to that sort of discomfort --"
Jason snorts. "How *are* you feeling, right now?"
"Exceedingly well-used, and thank you for asking," Tim says, and slides her hand down to Bruce's navel before checking --
Bruce
is smiling somewhere behind his eyes, and it's sort of... hovering at
his mouth. There's still a streak of blood on his chin, and Tim thinks
about reaching up to scratch at it --
And perhaps it's just
one of those things that Jason licks his thumb and scrubs at Bruce.
"Sick of lookin' at that, and yeah, I know, I totally just pulled a
Mom. We're good, everybody carry on."
"Yes, well, *anyway*,"
Tim says. "I can't really... well, the first thing I want to do is get
my ears pierced. I have a couple of studs from Barbara, and I thought
we might go together, Jay."
"Ooh, yeah. You have to wear plain
studs for a while, but... you've got that nice long neck. Earrings
would really work on you."
Long neck? Really? "I -- I'd hardly call the studs plain..."
"Are you sure you wish to trust them to a body artist's punch, Tim?"
Jason grins. "What, you want to pierce them for her, B? Get a little ice cube action going --"
"I would. I would like it very much," Bruce says, and he's frowning and *not* squeezing or stroking Tim --
"Oh...
uh. Whoa. Did I just trip over a kink?" Jason rubs Bruce's chest. "Hey,
if she says you can pierce her ears, I have no problem with it."
"It would certainly be safer for the microcircuitry," Tim says, and -- "I trust you."
"You *give* --" Bruce shakes his head. "Both of you. I don't understand."
"It's better than the alternative, Bruce --"
"And it *feels* right," Jason says, and rolling over onto his back and sighing. "Man, I'm gonna be dragging, tomorrow."
"Rest," Bruce says. "Please."
"Right here, B...? Yeah, I think I can do that."
She thinks she can, too.
And
there's about five minutes of silence save for the sound of their
breathing and the light sounds of bodies moving against fabric. It's
warm enough in here that Tim doesn't feel any great need to get under
the covers -- Bruce seems to give *off* heat -- and it's... good.
She's
not touching Jason, but Bruce's hold on her isn't especially dissimilar
from one of the ways Jason holds her when they're about to go to sleep,
and thinking about it... Tim's pretty sure that's not accidental.
She'll turn over when she's asleep, and... *does* Bruce sleep on his back?
Jason
yawns and Tim does, too. Bruce takes a deep breath and strokes Tim's
arm, up and down and up again, again. She's being petted, by *Bruce* --
And Jason had said that Bruce had *them*, now, and that's...
Maybe
she's too tired to panic. Or maybe... she doesn't know. What she *does*
know is that she could give this up if Jason needed her to do so, and
that she doesn't want to.
She feels... Bruce is so *warm*, in
so many ways, and he understands -- so much. He's words that she
doesn't ever have to say, and he is grace and control, power and *age*.
Brilliance and a kind of wisdom that touches him lightly, but comes
through with his actions... possibly it's just kindness and... love.
Tim
closes her eyes and wonders if Jason and Bruce are the only ones with
issues that can be summed up by the word 'family.' And then she makes a
command decision not to wonder, and another to sleep.
The last thing she's aware of is the sound of Jason's quiet snore --
The first thing she's aware of is that she's naked on *top* of the covers, and Mrs. Mac would be absolutely --
She
wakes up and keeps her eyes closed for a moment, not squeezing them
shut in case Jason is awake enough to notice that she's not feeling --
that she's not --
Bruce. And they had -- they had both --
The feel of him *inside* her, moving and moving her --
Tim
blushes and opens her eyes, and -- Jason's reaching for her. In his
sleep. Or... he could've been reaching for Bruce. There's a good few
inches between her arm and his fingertips, and there's no sign of
Bruce.
Part of her, she realizes, had been expecting to see
him sitting in one of the chairs and just *staring* at them on the bed.
When she'd had the time to formulate that expectation is just one of
the ways she remains a mystery to herself.
She leans in and
kisses Jason's fingertips -- there's still a faint smell of
disinfectant -- and then slips out of bed. There's no clock in Bruce's
room and the curtains are closed, but her body has a fair idea of what
time it is -- she's up early, which is... not entirely surprising.
Strange bed, strange... man.
At some point, Bruce had placed
their robes side by side over the back of one of the chairs, and Tim
puts hers on. Sometimes, when she and Jason sleep -- 'sleep' -- late,
there's a tray of small things waiting for them in the hall.
Pre-breakfast snacks of the sort designed to get one moving and
motivated to eat an actual meal.
She's not sure how she feels
about the fact that there's no sign of anything like that in front of
Bruce's door, but she's absolutely sure that she doesn't want to think
about it too deeply. She has no *idea* how Alfred feels about -- this.
It
would be awkward and terrible if he disapproved, and it would be
several different kinds of worse if he *approved*. The best they can
hope for is him pretending that nothing out of the ordinary is
occurring, and -- yes, that would certainly fit with there being no
tray in front of Bruce's door.
She'll just... go with that. Her room is...
Something
in her relaxes, all over, when she walks into her bedroom and closes
the door. She's alone except for Barbara's potential presence on the
other side of those cameras.
Tim looks at the nearest one and
smiles ruefully, trying to put everything into it she can think of,
starting with how maybe it wouldn't have been so bad to be treated like
-- a little girl. Except for how that wouldn't have entailed any of the
things she'd *liked* about last night, from the sex itself to the
opportunity to help steer the conversation to safer, more pleasurable
topics.
She'd fallen asleep with one of Bruce's arms wrapped
around her, tucked against his side just like they were lovers, instead
of two -- rather damaged if one gave it *any* thought, at all -- people
brought together because Jason Todd is just that compelling a presence
in their lives.
She'd fallen asleep with Bruce's scent in her
nose, and several distinct aches *caused* by Bruce in her body. On her
body. She touches the new bite mark on her throat and lets the robe
slip off.
There's a full-length mirror in this room -- she'd
wondered, at first, if it was some kind of cruel joke -- and she looks
at herself. Thin in the wrong places, yes, but once she tucks her penis
between her legs and twists, lifts a hand to her chest --
She's
covered in marks of appreciation offered by two beautiful, *good* men,
and there's no way not to see them -- and certainly no way not to
*feel* them. Her hair is ridiculous, but one of Bruce's gifts had been
an entire line of salon-perfect styling products. He'd anticipated
Barbara's suggestion, and maybe... maybe.
She touches her
earlobes and thinks about the comfort of having Barbara always there
with her... there *would* be teasing, and moments of extreme
embarrassment -- Barbara wouldn't have it any other way -- but...
Barbara. It would've been nice, when her parents were still alive, to
have had Barbara there with her, whispering in her ear about things
they could never know, reminding Tim that she had a *place* somewhere
in the world where she didn't have to be anything but herself.
Where
she *could* be Batgirl, stylish and bold, strong and true, vital to the
good of the city, and maybe, eventually, to the larger world, as well.
She's
going to *want* those studs in before she goes to New York to see Dick
and the Titans, since she plans on either leaving Jason here or
*making* him leave her alone to be with the others, get to know them in
her own right...
Would it be cheating to give them *only*
Batgirl? The Titans don't really work that way, even though it would be
far more security-conscious if they did... well. It's something for her
to deal with another time.
For now, there's herself in the mirror, eyes narrowed critically, one foot flat and the other up on her toes --
Suddenly,
she realizes that Bruce had said nothing whatsoever about her lower
body when he has offered critique on her form and abilities, which,
from him... it's probably the best possible compliment. The Tim in the
mirror blushes for that, and the hand she doesn't have up on her chest
twitches into a fist --
Undoubtedly to keep from stroking the
thighs she's spent so much time building, the calves which have never
failed her, even in the most ridiculous pair of -- heels.
The
Tim in the mirror doesn't shift her gaze to the very full and
comfortingly closed closet, but she really doesn't have to. She knows
what she *wants*, and never mind the way it had made her feel to find
all of those clothes there, the way it had seemed she had walked into a
very large and well-appointed *prison* -- albeit one with every
possible convenience.
Even then, she had been almost positive
that Bruce was trying to do something nice for her, something to give
her the most uncomplicated sort of pleasure possible.
She *had* just taken that dress out of the disguise closet, and she'd been nothing but happy in it, nothing but -- beautiful.
And
now... well, she can't help but know that there are things about her
that Bruce finds attractive -- very attractive -- and there would,
perhaps, not be quite so *many* dresses if one of those things wasn't
her ability to... dress.
Helena had been there the first time
Barbara had sent Tim undercover at a charity ball which, for reasons
Tim was never sure of, neither Bruce nor Jason had attended. She'd been
a visiting debutante, alone in the big city for the first time, with
the sort of manners and bearing which were designed to make the other
guests absolutely positive that they *had* met her before, at one time
or another. She'd been quiet enough not to attract too much of the
wrong sorts of attention, charming enough to always be able to get
close to the people Barbara had wanted watched.
And when she was getting ready, Barbara straightening her seams and styling her long, black hair --
Well,
Helena had started *out* against the whole thing, insisting that
Barbara send *her*, despite the fact that Helena's undercover abilities
weren't the best when she *wouldn't* be in a room full of the ignorant
and overly idle.
Barbara had pointed out, mildly and quietly,
that Helena would *not* have been able to control her anger and
disgust, which had made Helena pitch something of a fit, vituperative
and passionate -- and the end of which she had broken down in giggles
and began looking over Tim's manicure. She'd been impressed that Tim
had done it herself, and offered her own hands for it whenever Tim had
the time --
("Maria, it's almost a shame you have to take all that off before you go home -- and I can't believe I just said that.")
She'd
cupped the back of Tim's head -- gently so as not to muss the style --
and told her, in Italian, that she was beautiful, just beautiful, and
would put everyone else at the party to shame.
Tim had blushed and stammered something in reply --
And Barbara had squeezed her hand until the stammer became something gracious and false.
Helena's expression had been wry, but she'd nodded and left them to raid the kitchen, and --
And.
Technically,
there's no pressure here, no one she need either impress or fool.
*Technically*, this would be just for fun, something to show her
appreciation for what Bruce had done for her with something more --
better -- than words. She wants, very badly, for Bruce to know
*exactly* how much she appreciates nearly everything about him. From
his open heart and generosity to the fact that he understands so much
about her. *Too* much for comfort, really, but --
Life isn't *about* comfort.
So. Shower first.
She
lingers a little, using the soaps and creams Alfred had stocked her
bathroom with for the first time, as opposed to the more masculine ones
in Jason's. When she's done, she smells a bit like what she's always
imagined a vanilla flower would be like. It's more time-consuming than
she would've thought to shave her legs, and so she leaves her armpits
alone, save for the unscented deodorant.
Part of her was
expecting Jason to be awake and looking for her, maybe knocking on the
door to the bathroom and leering his way inside, but there's no sign of
him. It's still early.
She'll just have to stay beautiful for
long enough that he can see her. He likes -- he likes that, perhaps a
lot more than Bruce does.
The dress she picks is burgundy -- a color her mother had favored, and maybe, someday, would've approved of -- no.
It's
a color that looks *good* on her, and there are several outfits in the
same or nearly the same shade, which certainly suggests that it's one
that *Bruce* approved of. There are matching garters for the stockings,
which do, indeed, go on easily and more smoothly than they would if she
hadn't shaved.
She feels a little... very with nothing but
stockings and garters on, so she hurries through putting on her
underwear -- simple black. The gaff could have easily been made to
every last *one* of her measurements, and the falsies in the bra are as
good as Batgirl's.
It's tempting, at this point, to look in
the mirror, but... no. The dress goes on smoothly and clings enough
that she understands why there's no hip-padding in the gaffs.
Apparently, she's supposed to be a very *boyish* woman. It's also not a
very long dress at *all*, and perhaps there would be flashes of garter
as she walked... hmm. There's no cleavage showing -- the dress goes all
the way up her throat in a kind of homage to certain Asian styles, and
really --
Really --
This dress is hers, and no one
else's, and wearing it feels a little like being... she thinks about
it. It's *not* like being someone else. It's like being more of herself
than she'd previously thought possible, like if she moves the wrong way
her personal energy will cause the dress to tear, exposing *all* of her
to the world.
As it is, she feels incredibly *present*, loud and demanding, and it's possible that blush would be overkill.
Still,
she sits at the vanity and does her makeup in pretty much the usual way
-- the usual way which *isn't* for Batgirl -- and when she's done, she
puts a towel around her shoulders and spikes her hair.
Jason
wants to dye it a dark red, and... would it go with this dress? Would
it clash? She isn't sure. Right now, her hair makes her look like she'd
*wanted* to look like a sea urchin... well. It has its own sort of
style, though it would probably still look better if her hair were
longer.
And... she's done, save for the shoes, which go on
easily and have her preferred three and a half inch heels. Many of the
shoes do.
It's *still* early, which is a mark in favor of her
efficiency, but... she has to check. She goes back to Bruce's bedroom
and peeks in the door. Jason's sprawled nearly diagonally across the
bed and snoring lightly. His back is broad and perfect, marked here and
there with scars she still doesn't know all the stories for. His legs
are long. His ass is --
("Always want you to fuck me, baby --")
Tim swallows, and wonders just how well the dress does at concealing her Adam's apple.
Tim
rests her hand against the door for a moment and then turns away. This
is, technically, for Bruce. No matter how *accustomed* she's gotten to
morning... escapades. And hijinks.
Tim smiles to herself and
wonders where she should go for a moment -- but only a moment. It's not
time for breakfast and Bruce is awake, ergo he's in the Cave. It is and
isn't strange to walk through the manor like this, and she wonders
about jewelry, if there's anything in particular Bruce would want her
to wear, if Barbara would want her to have some of the earrings she'd
had made for more formal occasions...
("The pleasure Ted takes
in fashioning jewelry to my specifications is almost humbling, really.
It almost makes me wish more of them were for *me*...")
*She*
thinks there are other things Ted would like to do for Barbara with his
hands, but -- so far -- Barbara has greeted her comments along those
lines with a raised eyebrow and a deeply quelling look. Tomorrow is
another day.
She opens the clock, steps in, and closes it
behind her, and Bruce is working at the console. There's something odd
about him, but she can't quite tell what it is -- the chair is too high
for her to see his neck or shoulders to check for tension. Halfway
down, she realizes that he isn't typing, and doesn't appear to be
looking up at any of the screens, and -- she realizes that Bruce hears
the *heels* and would have to wonder... would have to know. She walks a
little more slowly and stops several feet from the chair.
"Bruce?"
And Tim blushes because her voice sounds quiet and *small*, and she's
really not *that* scared, or unsure. Just -- well. Bruce had *picked*
this for her, and he has to know... he had to have known how wearing it
would make her feel. Wouldn't he? He's not saying anything, and maybe
--
"Tim."
"I..." Oh, just -- "I was wondering if you'd like to see... ah."
Bruce
still doesn't turn around, and a part of Tim is thinking about... about
how it felt to have Bruce *inside* her, how he'd been so careful at
first and how it hadn't *mattered*, because he was just that big, just
that -- and maybe he wants to be alone?
She swallows and takes a step back. "Or I could -- you're busy, I'm sorry --"
And
Bruce is up and out of the chair *just* that fast, moving toward her --
he stops, just out of reach. He's wearing workout clothes and looking
into her eyes, but she can *feel* him looking at her whole body, seeing
her and knowing her --
Jason had held her *open* for him --
He's *looking*, and his eyes are just a little wild, sharp and almost heavy, like something Tim can touch --
Like
something touching *her*, and part of her honestly regrets their --
attempt at -- cuddling, last night. It had put too much space between
her and this feeling, this *intensity*, just -- so *quickly* --
Tim
brings her hand to her throat, meaning to check just how high it goes,
the way -- she'd glanced at herself in the mirror, of course, but
hadn't really perfected -- there's never any way to *be* perfect, not
for her, and --
"Tim," Bruce says again, and there's so much
there, so much *in* it... it's a *question*, and a very specific one,
at that. It makes her feel -- very, very young. Barbara has to be
laughing at her. *Barbara* had had years to know what it felt like to
be a sexual being around Bruce, the way it was a matter of constant
exposure, constant bald *fact*, and --
Her body wants her to
know that the gaff won't be comfortable for very long, but -- she's
here for a reason. Isn't she? "I -- ah," she says, and turns in a small
circle. "Is this... what you wanted?"
Bruce -- it's neither an exhale nor a sigh. It's *both* and it's neither, and his lips are parted --
"I mean. I -- was there a specific wig? Or --"
"No,"
Bruce says, and reaches out -- stops, and Tim isn't really -- she's
walking *closer*, and she doesn't really *mean* to, but if there's
something he wants to fix --
She knows there isn't anything he
wants to fix. "Bruce, do you want..." Her lips are dry, and she's not
going to lick them, or bite them -- the lipstick looks too *nice* for
that --
"I want." Bruce makes that sharp not-sigh again and
drops his hand to his side. "Perfect," he says, and stands straighter
-- "Jason. Will enjoy seeing you like this," and the smile on his face
is trying to be something soft and *neutral*, but it's failing --
utterly.
"I. I hope so," she says, and takes another step
closer, and now she has to look up to see Bruce's face, those eyes --
"Do you enjoy it?"
Bruce's nostrils flare --
"Oh. You
do. You..." This time Tim *does* bite her lip, because -- "I knew that
you were attracted, that you enjoyed when we all --"
"Yes, Tim."
Tim
pulls in a shaky breath. "It's still... something. To see you looking
at me like... like that." Still huge and impossible, or perhaps she
means incredible. Something about the nature of belief, and the fact
that there are always layers to it. Belief and *understanding*, that
is, a complicated emotional *pastry* that keeps getting sweeter,
stranger and more affecting -- she's definitely babbling, but at least
she's being *quiet* about it --
"I'm sorry," and Bruce turns *away* --
"Don't,
please -- please," Tim says, and reaches out to touch Bruce's wrist
with her fingertips, reflexively feeling for his pulse -- fast and
heavy.
Bruce shivers -- looks down at her, and his eyes are
even wilder now, almost *darker*, or -- it seems as though they
*should* be, that blue isn't the right color for that much *heat*.
"Oh. Bruce --"
"*Tim*," he says, and it's a warning, a plea --
Her
heart's beating too fast and she's getting *hard*, and she can't --
"Sometimes. Sometimes it seemed as though I could feel you wanting
Jason, even when you weren't there. Like it was something -- tangible.
Solid, and --" Tim trails her fingers over Bruce's knuckles. "Would
you... tell me what you want?"
And for a moment Bruce looks
almost *angry*, and it should easily be one of the more terrifying
moments of her life, except that her penis is disagreeing vehemently.
"I -- I mean --"
"Would. Would you like me to show you."
And Tim feels herself opening her mouth, but she has no idea what to *say*, no sense of what would be appropriate --
*That* --
She laughs at herself --
And
then Bruce is kissing her. She hadn't seen him move, hadn't even felt
him as more than just that *want*, that *hunger* -- he kisses her the
way Jason does, the way Robin does when Batgirl's been just that much
of a tease. It's hard as a punishment, demanding and -- he's bending
her *back* with it, and it's *almost* the way he was kissing her last
night, but now there's more fervor to it, deeper *fever*. It's probably
a *good* thing that she knows very well how to balance in heels for
something like this, how to *take* it --
Except that when he
pushes his tongue into her mouth, all she can do is moan and reach up
to clutch at his shoulders, stroke and squeeze and *suck* -- "*Oh* --"
Bruce
is *lifting* her against him like she weighs nothing, moving her the
way he had last night, too fast and too perfect to parse individual
movements. He's holding her up and kissing her again, kissing her jaw
and her throat -- panting against her skin.
"Bruce, this -- I -- *ah* --"
Bruce's
*tongue* against her throat, tasting her and tasting the *dress*,
pressing against one of the marks Jason had left, licking and
*pressing* -- should she have used concealer? Would that have
make this -- what. She doesn't -- Jason, *Jason* --
"Oh, God, you should -- I --"
Bruce pulls back and looks at her, eyes wide and so *full* --
And
Tim hears herself moaning and lunges in for another kiss, another --
Jason likes it so much when she *bites*, and Bruce seems to, as well.
She's not *sure*, but it feels *good* to bite, good to show Bruce --
show him --
*What*? What is she trying to do? What is she trying
to say, here, other than that she *wants*, that she *can* do this
without Jason to hold her hand, that she's not --
An extremely *greedy* child, perhaps?
("You're *my* little girl --")
She shivers and bites his lip again, and this time she gets bitten right *back*, *hard*, and she cries out and shifts --
And
realizes, once they start moving, that she'd wrapped her legs around
his waist just like she wasn't -- *isn't* -- wearing the world's most
perfect dress. She tries to move --
She *thinks* about moving,
but Bruce is kissing her throat again and walking them -- *somewhere*,
carrying her and -- oh, stroking her thigh almost restlessly through
the stocking, up to the garter --
"Beautiful," Bruce whispers against her throat, *husks* there -- "Beautiful girl..."
Tim
gasps and shivers, feels herself blushing, feels herself *moving*,
because she wants those hands moving on her, *touching* her --
"It's all right. I won't. I won't take *advantage* --"
"I
want you to," Tim says, blurts before she can really *think* about what
Bruce had said, wonder what it had *meant* -- it's something Batgirl
would, perhaps, say to Batman in a crazier world, but there's nothing
of Batgirl in her voice. It's too low, too desperate --
Bruce *growls* and pushes her -- sets her down until she's leaning against --
The pommel horse. Oh. Oh -- "Bruce --"
"Say it. Say it again, please. That you want --"
"I want you --"
"*Beautiful*,"
Bruce says, and kisses her mouth again, not as hard as the first time,
but serious. He's holding her face still and thrusting into her mouth,
and Tim thinks about sucking him, wonders what he would *taste* like
without Jason's tongue... not in the *way*, but altering things,
shifting the *definition* of the flavor --
And then his hands
are moving on her, stroking her through the dress and over her skin,
her shoulders and arms, down to her hips -- he lifts her again and sets
her down, he --
He pushes the dress up over her hips and
strokes her through the gaff, pushing his big hand between her legs,
cupping her and --
Jason always wants, *Jason*, and she isn't
-- he can't -- Bruce can't make her *be* this, yet -- "No, oh --
please," she says, brushing at his wrist --
Bruce grunts and
pulls back, staring down at her and reaching around to her ass, cupping
and squeezing her there until she nods, until she can feel herself
flushing with want --
"You -- you've been. Inside me --"
"*Yes*,"
Bruce says, and he's showing his teeth a little and still squeezing
her, moving his hands back around and up to cup her false breasts --
"Oh, Bruce -- Bruce, I want -- you can do --"
"*Don't* say 'anything,'" and the next thing she knows she's facing the pommel horse, turned around and *bent* --
"I'm sorry, I -- I'm so sorry, Bruce, I'm trying, you feel --"
Bruce groans and squeezes her hips. "Try. Try to be easy."
Easy -- that. Tim laughs, blushing at how *breathless* it is. "I'm not sure I could get much easier -- *oh* --
*Bite*
to the back of her neck, hard and somehow *solid*, less a sensation
than a *wall* of sensation, something to push back against --
"Or -- I suppose I could *not* make that sort of joke --"
Bruce
hums and releases her, and Tim firms her grip on the pommel horse to
keep from just *slumping* against it, because Bruce is stroking the
backs of her thighs, squeezing a little and stroking up between --
And
it feels like the gaff is protecting her, feels like -- she doesn't
know. She's spent so *long* barely thinking about her actual genitals,
or about anyone's save for Jason's --
She knows Bruce wants to touch her there, make her harder, more obvious, *less* --
And
maybe it *is* protection, because Tim feels herself tensing, hears
herself gasping again at the feel of Bruce pushing his fingers into the
waistband of the gaff --
"Tim..."
Her eyes are closed --
squeezed shut. Bruce can't *see* that, but... of course he can feel it.
Of course. She opens her eyes and looks back over her shoulder. "It's
-- okay. I want you to --"
"You wish to be touched in very specific ways. I... I'm afraid I'm not as good at this as Jason --"
"Oh
-- I." Of course Jason is good at this, at knowing her and feeling her.
Jason *always* knows, because Jason doesn't love without knowledge, or
-- she doesn't know, exactly. Jason has been something like her
personal *miracle*, and questioning those has never seemed like a very
good idea. She licks her lips. "I don't expect you to --" Tim shakes
her head. "The fact that I have... issues about my genitals is no
reason to... stop?" Tim laughs at herself again. "I'm sorry, maybe we
--"
Shouldn't, she was going to say, but Bruce presses his
thumb to the back-seam of the entirely clever little panties and
strokes *down* --
"Or we could. Ah. Bruce, your *hands*, I --"
"You're
very generous, Tim. Giving, and --" Bruce hums again and pushes the
dress up further, kisses her spine just above the panties, licks her
there, over and over --
Kisses more and scrapes his teeth, pushes the dress up even further and cups her hips, holds them *still* --
"So many gifts," Bruce says, and there's more that Tim can say, more that she could *think*, but --
She
turns around again and lets her head hang between her arms. "Bruce,
just -- what you want. I want to know what you *want*, I want to know
*you* --"
"Another... taste," he says, and pushes his fingers into the gaff again -- "Let me show you."
Jason
and his hands, his eyes, the way he pleads and demands, the way he
pushes when he forgets to be careful and focuses on being the most
perfect, the most beautiful, the most --
Dangerous. Bruce is
*dangerous*, and it seems ridiculous to only be noticing that now, to
only be feeling it now that she's bent and ready, bent and *willing* --
She hears herself make a sound that doesn't make any sense, that misses language *entirely* --
"Please, Tim. I -- I won't ask you to give me what you give to Jason, I know that's something I can't *have* --"
"*Do*
it," Batgirl says, and Tim opens her eyes again to see her fingers
curling in against the horse, see herself starting to *claw* at it --
And
the gaff is around her ankles. She's bare and... and *swinging*, and if
he touches her there she'll scream and fight, beg and *plead* --
He
spreads her, instead, and this time the sound she makes is almost a
growl, the sort of thing Jason has learned -- so very well -- to *try*
for, *push* for until she's practically snarling and *biting* --
Bruce
presses his thumb against her hole. Presses -- not in. Not. She's still
sore, but she wants to *hurt*, wants to feel him again --
"Your. Your heat, I want -- touch me. Fuck me --"
"*Let* me," he says, and he's moving behind her, holding her open and spread, and --
She
knows what he wants. What he's going to do. She *knows* he will, and so
she has to prepare for it, try to get herself to the point where she
can *take* it--
Bruce's tongue makes a mockery of all of that.
It's too wet, too slick and -- every possible definition of
*insinuating*, as if there *is* no way to keep this from happening, as
if every possible defense is worthless against the slow push, slick
*slide* --
She's growling again, pushing up on her toes -- she can *kick* him, like this, his hands are *occupied* --
He *moans* against her, into her --
He
thrusts *as* he moans, and she has one leg up and no idea what to *do*
with it. This feel, this -- and she has to wonder if it's something
about *her* that makes both Jason and Bruce want this, if it's an
assumption that this act will be comfortable for her, will be all
*right* --
Going down on her in something like the right way, *taking* her the way a woman -- a real woman --
She can't hold on to the thought. It's too -- he's *fucking* her with his tongue just like Jason, just --
She's getting harder, and pressing against the horse won't do her any good, *nothing* will -- "*Ah* --"
Bruce
pulls out and he's saying -- something. Whispering against her hole as
if it could *answer* him in some way other than the ludicrous or deeply
unfortunate --
She laughs again -- "*Bruce*, I -- I could *question* your taste --"
"But you shouldn't," he says, dark and low, dark and almost *sweet*, just --
"Dangerous. You're --"
"I wish," he says, "I could be something other."
"I --" Tim pants, tries to -- when had she kicked off her other shoe? "That's not what I -- oh, *God* --"
Inside again, and her knees want to give out on her, her -- she's shaking and moving, twisting --
He's holding her not quite still *enough*, following her as she moves, stabbing her with his tongue and making her feel --
Making her --
She
knows she's being loud, she can *hear* herself, but it's nothing
compared to the wet sounds, so -- so *dirty*, and she wants to get away
--
She *wants* to want to get away, to be enough, *have*
enough to say no to this thing, this -- just. For *once* she should
have enough control to fight this, to be able to tell Jason, tell
*them* exactly what she thinks of their habit of licking her *ass*.
That's
just -- worship should only go so -- so fucking *far*, no matter how
good this feels, no matter what it makes her *do*. It's so --
So
*deep*, and it doesn't hurt enough, doesn't give her enough room to
*think*. He's holding her open so wide, pressing his face against her,
his lips against her --
*Kissing* her this way, and at some
point she'd collapsed onto her elbows -- there's a faint sting there
that tells her she hadn't done it with anything like finesse -- and
every time she tries to get her balance Bruce makes another sound, a
hum or a moan --
A growl that makes her shake more, makes her
wish Jason was there to touch her, *ground* her -- push until she'll do
anything to come, *take* anything, and there's that traitorous whisper
in the back of her mind, that nagging voice telling her what would feel
even better.
What she could do --
What *Bruce* could do for her, how he could touch her, make her *feel* this --
"*Bruce* --"
And
it only makes him fuck her faster, hold her hips *tighter* -- but not
as tight as Jason does it. This won't give her any new bruises, any
touchstones to make her sure it's real, make --
No, she won't
be able to forget this. Not -- not any of it, because Bruce lets go and
starts to stroke her, her thighs and between --
So careful, so
-- he's not touching her sac at *all*, and she should be grateful, she
can *feel* the part of her which *would* be grateful, but --
"*Please*, Bruce, please touch me -- oh, no, oh *fuck* --"
"I got you, baby --"
*Jason*,
and Tim whips her head around -- he's right there next to her, wearing
just a robe and staring into her eyes with his lips parted -- "J-Jay --
oh, *oh* --"
Bruce -- faster, almost harder, somehow, and he's
holding her hips again, holding her *still* again -- and Jason has his
hand wrapped around her penis so *gently* --
"You have no
*idea* how good you look right now, Tim. You're -- god, that dress.
Those *stockings*. Your flush, and you're sweating a little, and you're
so far gone you *need* this," and Jason squeezes --
Tim's knees buckle --
Jason catches her around the waist -- and grips her with his *other* hand -- "Tell me to stroke. Tell me you *want* it --"
Tim makes another *noise*, and she thinks she sounds like an *animal*, but she has to --
"C'mon, let me make you come. Bruce -- Bruce looks like he could do you that way for *years* --"
"*Please*, Jay, don't -- I don't --" She growls again and *twists* -- can't move, Bruce is holding on too tightly --
She growls *again* and pushes up onto her hands, her toes, punches the pommel horse --
"So fucking *sexy*, and -- I know you want me to just *take*, but --"
"Fuck, *do* it, Jay --"
And
Jason grunts and squeezes her hard, Bruce *shoves* his tongue in and
holds it there, and there's a moment when she can't feel anything but
*everything*, when she can't make a sound --
She's throwing her head back --
"I'm gonna fuck you *so* hard after this --"
"*Jay* --"
"Yeah.
*Come*," he says, and starts stroking her fast and hard, almost --
almost *hurting*, but she's so close, it's so good, so --
And Bruce starts thrusting again, Bruce *moans* and there's saliva in her cleft, running down her thighs --
Jason is *driving* her, Jason wants her to come, Bruce wants --
Tim shouts and doesn't come, doesn't --
So *good* and she shouts again, tosses her head and kicks, connects with Bruce --
He *grunts* into her and squeezes harder --
So --
"C'mon, baby, let me *see* --"
And
she doesn't know if it's a sound or just air -- and then she's rigid,
held by something stronger and more vicious than Bruce or Jason could
ever *be*, coming and spasming, jerking in Jason's grip --
Bruce's grip -- Bruce's *tongue* --
"Oh, *yeah*, that's so fucking *hot* --"
And Jason's kissing her cheek, squeezing her *rhythmically*, and there's more coming, just -- she can't --
This
time she knows she's screaming, and it's not *better* when Jason lets
go, because Bruce is still kissing her, groaning and *kissing* her --
"Ease it back, B --"
Bruce
pulls back and Tim -- doesn't collapse again. She's holding herself on
her toes, digging her nails into the pommel horse --
Jason
nuzzles her cheek until Tim turns and kisses him, and she can see Bruce
moving out of the corner of her eye, standing up and moving *away* --
"No," she says, turning and nearly tripping herself on the panties --
"Hey, what -- oh, Jesus, Bruce, don't go *now* --"
"I." Bruce frowns and reaches out -- cups Tim's hip so she can step out of the panties on her shaking legs.
"Thank
you," Tim says, kicking off the other heel and covering Bruce's hand.
He's looking at her steadily, almost certainly reading everything on
her face. It makes Tim want to look for a handy shadow, or at least her
wonderful new cowl, but -- that wouldn't be especially helpful. She
takes a deep breath and squeezes Bruce's hand. "That was... in case you
were wondering, I really was... ah. Asking you to touch my. Penis."
"And
I really could start feeling incredibly jealous about that, but I'm of
the *firm* belief that every little bit -- heh. Helps," Jason says, and
slips behind her to pull the dress back down, brush Tim's and Bruce's
hands aside so he can smooth it over her hips. "Damn, it's perfect on
her, B. Did you seriously eyeball her measurements?"
Bruce
blinks once -- nods. "I've had many opportunities to watch the way Tim
moves, the length of her reach, I. I had hoped that she would give me
the opportunity to see her this way, again, but I didn't think it would
be so soon."
Meaning... he'd known that she'd be conflicted
about the gift? In retrospect... he almost certainly *had*. Tim reaches
for Bruce's hand again and curls her own against the palm. "Thank you."
Bruce's eyes widen slightly -- he nods again. "I. I don't know
whether I should apologize for my... for what I just did, or to whom I
should apologize," he says, and looks at Jason.
Tim looks, too, and Jason's smiling wryly and pushing a hand back through his hair. "My fault for sleeping in?"
And
there's a plea in his voice, a request to take the answer at face
value, but... there's more there. Tim rests her hand on his chest,
nudging the robe aside until she can feel skin. "Jay...?"
He reaches up to cover her hand. "Really?"
Tim nods, and she can see Bruce doing the same out of the corner of his eye.
"Okay. My *first* thought when I saw you two, when I *heard* the sounds Tim was making... I felt a little betrayed."
Tim winces --
"Jay, I'm --"
"No,
no -- I *started* this, or -- well, we *all* started this, and that
means we all have to *deal* with it. And if I'd seen Tim in that dress
first, I would've jumped her *just* as fast as you apparently did, and
-- fuck, baby, you smell *fantastic*. Like sex and *dessert*."
Whiplash, to a certain extent. "I -- ah. Bruce also picked some bathing items for me --"
"Alfred,"
Bruce says, "had a number of suggestions. I confess that I chose the
ones which seemed most suited to your natural scent."
"Which
means you were totally *sniffing my girl* when you should've been
training her," Jason says, grinning and shaking his head. "Yeah, okay,
I can't blame you."
"I..." Tim curls her fingers in against Jason's chest, a little --
"I'm
okay. I'd *prefer* it if you hooked up with Bruce where I could *watch*
you, but I'm betting B would say the same thing about *us* hooking up,
and -- I don't know. I always want to be with you, baby. *Especially*
when you're making love. But, you know... sometimes I'm *just* gonna
want to watch."
And Tim blushes and thinks about how *fast*
Bruce had gotten her to the point where she *needed*, how little
*control* -- "Ah. And you? With Bruce?"
Bruce squeezes her hand lightly. Reassurance, yes, but -- for whom?
Jason
raises both eyebrows. "I -- uh. Haven't really thought about it,
but..." He looks at Bruce and smiles again, crooked and a little small.
"A lot of things are easier with Tim right there for me."
Bruce nods and lets go of Tim's hand --
"Bruce," Tim says, and reaches again --
"I never allowed the two of you to have time alone last night --"
"How *was* that for you, B? Was it what you wanted?"
Bruce stills, all over -- and then moves, *fast* -- he's cupping Tim's shoulder and Jason's, too.
"That's
-- *kind* of an answer," Jason says, and reaches up to cover Bruce's
hand. "Seriously, how long were you able to sleep? You *did* sleep,
right?"
Bruce's mouth kind of -- quirks. "I rested better than
I have in a very long time. I don't know what I can do to thank you
both for -- for that."
Jason smiles, and it feels like it
matches her own. Tim shifts her shoulder under Bruce's hand. "That's
really very good. I... perhaps we could do it again, sometime?"
"Yeah, 'cause... I slept about as well as I do when it's *just* Tim, and your bed *is* fucking huge."
Bruce
narrows his eyes and strokes their shoulders, tenses up *hard* -- and
relaxes. "Thank you. I won't -- I'll try not to take advantage of
your... of this."
Take advantage. That -- "Bruce, about that -- when you said you wouldn't take advantage of me, what exactly did you *mean*?"
Jason snorts. "He said that? What, seconds before yanking down your torture panties and shoving his tongue up your ass?"
Tim lets her smile get a little wider. "One can't help wondering what, exactly, he didn't plan to *do*... considering."
And Bruce actually colors, a little bit --
"Whoa."
Tim raises an eyebrow. "Bruce...?"
He squeezes her shoulder and lets go, strokes her face, her cheek -- "I. It seemed deeply important to *say*, Tim, but..."
"Meaning
that you were *just* saying it, paying a little lip service, because
what you *actually* wanted to do everything she'd *let* you --"
"And
other things, as well," Bruce says, and drops his hands. "Jason. I'd
like to watch you..." He turns to Tim. "I'd like to watch both of you."
Jason smiles and cups the back of Tim's neck. "Or should I..."
And
having been able to see it coming does nothing against the feel of
Jason sliding his hand to the front of her neck, cupping her throat and
squeezing -- "You really should. Ah. Both of you. Eventually, that's
going to stop *working*."
"And so it should be used *sparingly*, yeah, I get you, baby. What about the rest of you? How should *that* be used?"
Hard.
Very, very hard. And there's a part of her mind which is saying deeply
practical things about breakfast and training, it's just that it's a
very small part, and it can't do anything against --
"Fuck, I love that *dress*," Jason says, stroking down from Tim's throat over her chest, cupping Tim's breasts --
Bruce makes a small sound --
"Yeah, I know they aren't *real*, but the way Tim wears them..." Jason grins at her. "How sore *are* you?"
"Well,"
Tim says, and does a very good job -- if she does say so herself -- of
thinking about it on a practical level, as opposed to on all those
levels which have far more to do with the many different ways she can
be made to scream down the Cave. The *fact* is -- she probably
shouldn't get fucked.
She hadn't bled, at all, but her ass
wants her to know that she'd had something rather bigger in there than
what had become usual. It's insistent on the matter, if not precisely
strident, and --
She sighs. "Probably you shouldn't bend me over this pommel horse and fuck me very, very hard."
Jason sighs and nods -- and crowds her until she backs up against the horse and looks up at him.
"Yes, Jason?"
"One
very? Half a very? See, I can't help thinking about how slick you have
to be feeling after that rim job. And I *did* make you a promise."
"You are very, very good about keeping your promises," Tim says, and wraps her arms around Jason's neck.
"Mmm. Look at you. Feel like I should be dragging you into a coatroom and doin' you on some rich fuck's mink."
"Do you ever think about the fact that you *are* a rich fuck, Jay...?"
"It's
all in how you swing it, baby," Jason says, and -- shrugs. Just enough
that his penis slips out from between the folds of the robe and stands
up hard and a different sort of insistent, entirely. "And you *know*
how I swing."
Tim takes a good, long look... and then looks over Jason's shoulder.
Bruce
is standing there watching both of them, hands curled into fists. Not
*tight* fists, but the potential is very much there.
"Hmm?" Jason looks back. "Why don't you give me a few more minutes with my girl, B? *Then* you can -- heh. Lend a hand."
And Tim *feels* that, like two fingers stroking up her spine before the hand settles on the back of her neck. Just --
Jason cups her hips and -- doesn't pull her close.
She pushes, a little --
"Nuh-uh. I am *not* getting come stains on that dress. I'm *pretty* sure that's not what Bruce bought it for."
Another small sound from Bruce --
Jason
laughs. "Yeah, I know, you'll buy her another. But *I* like *this* one.
Even though Tim didn't let me see her put it on. Or shave her *legs* --
and of *course* you bought her shave cream and a razor. Can't be
*unprepared*."
"To be fair, it was a rather interesting
experience *to* shave my legs," Tim says, and smiles. "It made me feel
a little like -- Robin."
"Hey, I *never* shaved *my* legs. That was *Dick's* freaky little kink."
"He
was rather... he told me, more than once, that it cut his wind
resistance in flight," Bruce says, and when Tim looks, there's a smile
in his eyes that looks almost *paternal*. Which, considering the fact
that he's *extremely* erect in those shorts...
Don't think about it? Schedule another therapy session with Barbara? Don't think about it *vigorously*?
"*Dick*
-- was clearly warped by growing up in a circus, and, oh, yeah, with
*you*, B," and Jason strokes Tim's hips... strokes down and hikes up
the dress again --
"Didn't you just fix that, Jason?"
"Uh, huh. And now I'm messing it *up*, because I really fucking need to snap your garters, baby -- there."
Tim smiles. "All better?"
"Gettin'
there," Jason says, and strokes up her thighs. "Bruce was feelin' you
up pretty good, there. Like those big hands on you?"
Batgirl
wants to ask him what *he* thinks. Tim is feeling -- slightly -- more
cautious. "I'm beginning to wonder if all of Bruce's touches will
feel... possessive."
"He's a greedy, greedy man, baby. A *hungry* man, and you look -- and smell -- like a pretty good meal."
"Maybe you should take a bite."
Jason smiles a little wider and brings one hand up to tilt her head up and to the side.
That
part of her throat has already been well *considered* -- Jason bites
her earlobe, holding it between his teeth and *pulling* -- "You've been
thinking about the ear piercing."
Jason lets go and *licks* her
ear. "The *more* I think about it, the more fucking *intimate* it gets
in my head. Bruce would be -- heh -- *penetrating* you. And this time
-- there'd be blood."
A part of her wants to protest -- something. Possibly the *glitter* in Jason's eyes. The rest of her... "It could... hurt."
"You could *take* the pain."
Tim pushes her fingers into Jason's hair and tugs. "Would you like that? Watching me... take it?"
"Watching
you *love* it," Jason says, and his smile is very, very *wet*. Her body
is telling her things about how it doesn't matter that she'd just come.
Her mind is telling her that *both* Bruce and Jason -- haven't.
It's the sort of internal accord she's come to treasure, in all honesty. "I want to feel your -- dick."
Bruce breathes audibly, perhaps for the slang --
Jason's eyes get wide and then narrow again. "Yeah, baby? *How* do you wanna feel my dick?"
"On
me," she says, and Jason rolls his hips forward -- grunts and *stops*,
approximately two millimeters from staining her dress --
"What *else*?"
"*In* me, Jay. You should make it clear to me *exactly* how raw I am from last night. It seems -- an important lesson."
Jason licks his lips. "Not to play with the big boys...?"
"*Always*
to play with the -- big -- boys," she says, tugging Jason's hair again
before moving her arms from around her neck and turning around --
"So what if I want to bend you in half, baby?
"So what if I don't *care*...?"
"Aw, *yeah*, BG," and Jason cups her ass, bare with the hem of the dress just brushing the upper curve --
Tim hums and pushes up onto her toes, kicks back just to make Jason jump a little and then strokes his calf with her toes.
"Bruce got you kinda *frisky*, hunh, baby?"
"Funny how that works," she says, and grinds her hips in a circle --
Jason moans and *slaps* her ass, and --
It's too *surprising* to make a noise, but she's down on her feet again and panting. Just --
"See, I don't know if you were *watching* that, B, but -- she's had this fantasy."
"I... see."
"Meaning that you *weren't* watching, and you're maybe wondering which of us is crazy?"
"I. It seems... disrespectful," Bruce says, and Tim can *feel* him moving, or --
Maybe
it's the shift of the shadows under the fluorescents, something
reasonable and sane that has nothing to do with the sting in her --
cheek. She digs her fingers in against the horse to keep herself from
reaching back to touch herself, *protect* herself, or --
Does she really *want* to be protected?
How
much does Jason -- does he need this? Is it *because* she was with
Bruce, and -- hand on her. Big enough to be -- that's *Bruce's* hand,
and Jason sighs and strokes her *around* it, over her hip and up onto
her back.
Jason -- she's almost sure it's Jason -- strokes the
spot at the base of her spine where Bruce had licked her, over and over
-- "You touched her here --"
"Yes," Bruce says, and squeezes
her. His hand covers the spot Jason had spanked *completely*, and -- is
he intrigued? Does she *want* to give Bruce *this*?
"Jay, I -- ah."
"Yes? No? Not now?" He cups her other cheek and squeezes. "How bad a girl have you *been*?"
Tim blushes hard, because -- that's exactly how she had *put* it, before, and really --
Really.
What
does she *want*? If she listens to her penis, the answer is several
different varieties of more. If she listens to her fear, the answer is
-- somewhere not in this *zip code*. If she listens to her *brain*,
which is clearly still somewhere inside her skull --
"Tim," Bruce says, and it's heavy and deep, questioning --
Tim
breathes and -- she'd stopped, at some point. She breathes, and just
focuses on that for a little while, ignoring the wave of feeling, the
*lift* in her penis --
"Please," and Bruce strokes her with *just* his thumb, shifts his hand until that thumb is brushing the stinging place --
"I -- please what, exactly?"
"I
think he wants to know how you really feel about getting spanked right
now, baby, 'cause..." Jason's voice is low and kind of *thick*,
sex-focused -- "You're sending a couple different messages, right now."
Of course she is. Hard and getting harder, tense to the point
of *pain* -- at least in that old muscle tear in her back, and her
brain says... what? What would be the consequences of allowing this,
other than to turn both Bruce and Tim on? What would it say about *her*
--
"If it -- uh." Jason squeezes her again. "I don't know if
it would make a difference, right now, but -- that's just it. It's
*now*, and not any other time. Maybe this can be... just a thing we
tried, once, and never had to do again."
"Like having sex with
Bruce?" And that had come out much too fast, much too uncontrolled --
she can *feel* Jason wincing. "I'm sorry --"
"*Don't*
apologize," Bruce says. "You... you enjoy sexualized pain. There is,
perhaps, some part of you which *wants* to be punished --"
"Fuck, don't profile her *now*, B --"
"No
-- it's. It's all right. I'm having a little trouble *thinking*, at the
moment, and that could... help," Tim says, and reaches back to grip
Jason's thigh.
"Well... if you're sure, baby. But B, if you break her brain too much to let us have sex, I'm gonna be *pissed*."
Tim snorts and scratches his thigh --
"Noted,"
Bruce says, and presses hard with his thumb. "You'd like to be able to
throw yourself into sexuality entirely and with abandon, but you are --
occasionally -- hampered by the emotional conservatism you've trained
yourself to have."
Emotional conservatism... interesting. She
wouldn't have put it that way, but there is something to it. She thinks
of her mother -- she stops and nods. "Go on."
"This feels like
a step you have yet to take. It's an admission of desire for something
that, perhaps, *Batgirl* would never want. As such, it makes you feel
both naked and unsure. Dangerously... obvious."
Tim closes her eyes and -- smiles. "You understand feelings like that very well."
"Yes," Bruce says, and his voice has become rough again, some degree of *fervent* -- "Would you like... more."
"Just
for the record here," Jason says, and drags Tim's hand up to his groin.
He's hot and *very* hard, perhaps as much as Bruce.
And she
really is just *bent* over this pommel horse, asking for -- very much,
if not necessarily *everything*. Asking for it and *denying* it, at
once --
She hears Bruce's breathing hitch, again, and he moves
his hand off her ass -- and starts stroking her arm. Harder when she
squeezes Jason's sac --
"Oh, *fuck* yeah, Tim. B hasn't felt *you* do that, yet. Hasn't felt your *mouth* --"
"My mouth isn't what's at -- issue, here, at the moment," Tim says, and, "Go on, Bruce..."
"You
worry that the more obvious you become about your wants and needs, the
more Jason will feel disgusted by you, that he'll become bored and find
you off-putting --"
"Oh, man, baby, not *that* --"
"*Yes* -- that," Tim says, and shakes her head. "There's so much --"
"There
are no limits you can find for this," and Bruce squeezes Tim's forearm
once and moves back to stroking her ass. "There is nothing you wouldn't
do for Jason, wouldn't *take* from him --"
"There's nothing you can't *have*, Tim --"
"Oh,
I." Tim takes a deep breath -- *tries* to take a deep breath. She's
hard again, and her penis is actually *saying* something about it being
much too soon, or --
Possibly that's just the generalized ache
of *this* arousal, the thing that will make her crazy *this* time, make
her scrabble and need --
"Please," she says, and her hand is shaking on Jason's sac --
Someone
leans in and breathes against the base of her spine, and someone else
squeezes her ass again, or maybe it's the same person both times -- no,
that's Bruce squeezing her ass and breathing like the arousal is
*choking* him, because --
"God, I can *just* fucking taste his
mouth here, baby. I -- did it drive you a little crazy when he was
licking you here? Was it a tease?"
"*Yes*," and -- "I. I want. Bruce, is there *more* --"
"You're
worried that if you allow this, it will fundamentally alter the way
Jason sees you. A part of you is afraid that he will become callous,
or... lose respect for you, in some way. It's almost impossible to
understand. He loves you so very much, needs you in every way he can
have you --"
"Fuck, yes, baby, and I -- I can feel you
*wanting* this, and it's scaring me a little how much, but only because
I want it, too, want to feel this the way you do, fucking -- fucking
*live* in you --"
"I. I do want this. I'm scared and I --"
"We've *got* you," Jason says, and licks up her spine a little way, moans and scrapes his teeth --
Tim pushes up onto her toes again--
Jason moans again --
Bruce squeezes her ass *hard* -- "I would never deny you, Tim. I want to see you take your pleasure, want to *understand* --"
Tim laughs -- "You already *do* --"
"Not fully. Not. Would you like to be in Jason's lap? Would you ever want to be in my own?"
Bruce's
hands -- Bruce's thighs under her as she twists, *writhes*. Bruce
holding her *still* -- Tim feels herself blushing and bites her lip.
The moan comes out, anyway, and Jason -- it has to be Jason -- pushes a
thumb into her cleft and strokes *down*, fast and hard --
The noise she makes is high and she's shaking, warm all over, and -- how does her makeup look? How does --
"Beautiful,"
Bruce says, "so --" He lets go of her and the shadows say that he steps
back, and now a part of her is cold. She wants --
How *could*
she want both of them? How did that work when it was Barbara and Dick
was Robin? She'd made it all sound so natural, something with the
potential of being *controlled*. Perhaps it was the light in her, the
thing that Tim has always been able to see, and has always needed to be
*close* to.
Perhaps there's a correspondent darkness in *her*,
something that calls to similar things in Bruce and in Jason, something
that of *course* would lead to her being right here -- bent over and
spreading her legs while Jason cups her hips and breathes on the
wetness he's left on her back --
While Jason lines himself up behind her --
Spreads
her and slips his erection into her cleft, thrusts and rubs against her
while she moans and bangs her fist on the horse, and Bruce --
Is
Bruce only watching right now? Is he -- shadows, and Tim looks up in
time to see Bruce in *front* of her, reaching down -- He grabs her
wrists and squeezes them, holds them against the horse and looks down
into her eyes, and.
And.
"Bruce," she says. "I -- Jay. He's teasing me, and I. I don't know --"
Bruce
nods and strokes the insides of her wrists with his thumbs, and Jason
just keeps *thrusting*, every push sliding the shaft of his penis
against her hole, making her need and just -- *burn*.
She can
*feel* him inside her, how it could hurt to the point of screaming and
still be wonderful, still give her what she *needs*. Some of what she
needs, and that --
Really --
She wonders what her
laughter sounds like to Bruce and Jason right now, if it's confusing or
another tease, if they like it -- Bruce is squeezing her wrists and
Jason is squeezing her hips, and. She can still move.
She
rolls her hips back against Jason, away from him and in tight little
circles that make her back pop in the best possible ways, make Jason
moan and *freeze* a little --
"Jesus, baby. Jesus fucking -- *do* you want it? My hand?"
"I --"
"*Bruce's*
hand? It could be -- uh. The big, bad, Bat taking you to *task* for
something you did wrong -- fuck, you never do *anything* wrong --"
"Sometimes. Sometimes I just want to feel it, want to know that you can do this -- for me --"
"Anything,
baby, anything at *all*, you know that, you *have* to know that," and
Jason's thrusting harder, Jason grunts and shudders and pulls *back* --
"*Let* me."
And her penis knows what those words mean, what
that *tone* means. She's twitching and *leaking*, and she can't move
her wrists, at all -- she's not trying. She looks up and Bruce is
staring down at her, lips parted and gaze so *hot*. She's starting to
sweat in her *dress* --
And Jason is stroking the backs of her
thighs, again, restless and so *good*. Better when he tugs on the
garters and moans, better than that when Bruce strokes the insides of
her wrists again. She wants --
She *wants*, and maybe, right now, that's the most important thing. Tim closes her eyes. "Please --"
"Please *what*, baby --"
"Do it. Spank me --"
And Jason groans --
And
the first slap is still a shock. It's not all that hard, but it's
*itself*, marking her as someone who could want *just* this, who could
--
It was never something she could *simulate*, not without
making herself too embarrassed to stay hard, not without *noise*. And
this --
The second slap makes her pant, makes her -- she was
*going* to grunt, but she'd been able to stop it in her throat, and
Bruce *squeezes* her wrists -- eases his grip and strokes her again --
This
is something she'd only been able to imagine. Just -- one of the times
when she'd let Jason manhandle her, let Robin *move* her the way he
should always be able to, and it would be so close to --
Another slap and she *does* grunt, closes her eyes --
"Tim."
She
opens them and Bruce is right there, upper lip wet like maybe he'd
licked it, healing cut at the corner of his mouth -- she'd made him
bleed last night, or Jason had -- both of them had, and that's not --
they should be more --
Another *slap*, and the words fall out of her mind, because that was *hard*, that *hurt* --
"Too much, baby?"
Jason sounds almost *winded*, voice low and *rough* -- "You're hard --"
"*Fuck*,
yeah, I am. You should see -- maybe you'll spank *me* sometime. Make my
ass all red, all -- you're *shaking*, baby," and now he sounds like it
*hurts*, like it hurts *him* --
"Not. Not too much. I --"
"I love you so *much*, Tim, you don't know -- I hate it that you don't *know* --"
"I know, I'm sorry, I'm --"
Another
*slap*, and Tim feels herself flushing all *over*, feels -- Bruce
squeezes her wrists hard, and if she doesn't look *up*, she can see
exactly how erect he is. Pitching a *tent* as Jason would say, and
there's a wet spot on his shorts, dark enough to only be a shadow, if
the light were falling that way. It's *not*, and --
Tim moans and Bruce *twitches*, moans low and brief --
"Jesus, yeah, I -- you just tell me when to *stop*, baby --"
Tim nods and bites her lip -- and *shouts*, because there's no pause between slaps now, no time to get her -- her *bearings*.
Just
-- *this*, and she'd wanted to be in her bed for it, or over Jason's
bike, she'd wanted it to be dark enough to hide everything from
everyone except for Jason, maybe even hide from herself --
The
fantasy had always made her *ache* inside, because wasn't the spanking
just another tease? Another way for her *not* to get fucked? Except
that it isn't, now. It's --
It's all *different*, because
Bruce is right there, Batman is watching and *learning* this about her,
putting it in his file of things to *know* about her, right up there
with the way she screams for him, the way she begs and curses when she
can't do anything else --
Her ass feels *hot*, stinging and
just -- stimulated, all over. She remembers the sick arousal that comes
from taking the perfect punch, the perfect ache of being shoved against
a wall with one of Jason's thighs between her own, the terror and
frustration of being pinned to the mats with Bruce over her, looming
over her and *taking* --
Squeezing her wrists and -- oh,
pushing his *hips* forward, just enough that Tim can smell him. Clean
male and arousal, strong and some variety of pure --
Jason just keeps *spanking* her and --
She
can say no. She can still say *no*, but she doesn't want to, doesn't --
Jason's moaning a little every time a slap lands, every time Tim pushes
up onto her toes --
She's grinding her hips again, trying to take *more*. She's --
"*Please* --!"
"Anything you want, anything you *need*, baby, just tell me, just -- fucking *show* me --"
That. *That* --
And
she wonders what it does to them that she's laughing again, that she's
spreading her legs and pushing right up onto her toes, as high as she
can *go* -- Jason stops.
"Oh -- Jesus. Jesus. Tim?"
"Tim... are you." Bruce swallows with an audible click. "Are you *sure*."
And
*that*... oh -- yes. Oh, *yes*. She twists her wrists in Bruce's grip
until he lets go and she can push up onto her hands and toss her hair
--
And Jason moans like *he's* the one bent over a pommel horse. Tim grins and looks back over her shoulder. "Scared, Robin?"
"Mother*fuck*, you're kinky --"
And the first slaps land on her inner thighs, but once she growls --
"*Ah*, *yes*," and Bruce's hands are on her shoulders, and her sac is swinging, and --
Again --
*Again* --
Bruce
cups the back of her head and tilts her head up, kisses her *hard*, and
she tastes -- she *tastes*, and she's laughing into Bruce's mouth,
writhing and *twisting* --
"Fuck, baby, *fuck* --"
And Jason doesn't stop, Jason reaches between her legs and grabs her penis *hard*, Jason lets go --
Tim
groans into Bruce's mouth and gets her lip bitten, laughs again and
gets her tongue *sucked*, and the pull makes her ache, makes her hotter
and needier, and she can smell herself now, sweat under the sweetness,
salt and *hunger* --
And the next time Jason slaps her sac, she *shouts* into Bruce's mouth --
"I can't. I really -- oh God, Tim --"
Her
ass again, hot and almost *itching* with pain. Her skin has to be
reddened now, warm to the touch as Jason spanks and *spanks* --
She wrenches away from Bruce -- "You know what I *want* -- *mm* --"
Another kiss, and Bruce *needs* this, wants this -- wants her mouth and maybe her ass, again, maybe --
This is making all of them --
Oh,
it *hurts*, and Tim gasps and sobs, *takes* it for her own, and she'd
never fantasized this, she'd never been able to imagine it, never --
Jason grabs her penis *again*, strokes her once, twice --
"*Jay* --"
"Need
you hard, baby, need you -- need you so *much*," but he lets go again,
slaps her sac and then both of her inner thighs at once, grabs her hips
and pulls her *back*, strokes her body everywhere he can reach,
groaning when he cups her breasts --
And there's a moment she
can be grateful didn't happen before now, a moment of *wanting*, pure
and deep and utterly itself. If she could only *be* --
And Tim
hears herself making a noise she can't name with anything but her own
heart, the sound of *that* want, eased only a little when Jason moves
his hands back to her ass, spreads her -- and there's the sound of
Jason dropping to his knees --
"*Have* to, just --"
And Tim chokes on it, wet and full and not full *enough* --
Bruce
shoves his tongue into her mouth, and for a moment he and Jason are
*together*, same rhythm and same hot push, same *fuck* --
Tim
shakes her head and groans, shudders all over and wonders if she'll
come again before they do, if she'll have to face their need with a
*clear* mind, or if they'll give themselves to each other --
Oh, she could *watch* --
And
she remembers the way Jason had gone down on Bruce, the pleasure and
care he'd taken, so slow when she never lets him do anything of the
kind --
She's leaking again, twitching again, and the sting goes all through her, makes her feverish and hungry --
Is
she clenching around Jason? Is she -- she's sucking Bruce's tongue and
working her hips again, trying to get *more* as Jason moans --
As
Bruce moans and cups the back of her neck, squeezes her there and
promises without words to choke her again the way he'd done last night
when everything was too much and Tim was losing the *thread*.
She
can't lose it here, she can't lose anything here but herself, her pride
and her -- her fucking *dignity*, because she's trying to go down on
Bruce's tongue, because she's clenching around Jason's tongue as much
as she *can*.
Just -- *in* her, and when the bats screech she
seizes up with the desperate and final reality of just where she *is*,
just what she's *doing* --
What she *is*, needy and grasping, sucking and *grinding* --
Oh,
Jason's making her so *wet*, licking all around her hole, licking up
and down her cleft before shoving in again, again and again -- so
*good*, and Tim knows that she's *shaking* on her toes now, she's
*defined* by the way Jason is stroking her calves, squeezing her thighs
--
Bruce is still *kissing* her, harder and harder, and his need
is so easy, so perfectly comprehensible. It's built on loss and *lack*,
made from everything he knows he *isn't*, while Jason's has always been
something to lift her up out of herself, something to watch and wonder
at, because it never seems to wane, always seems to be there, no matter
what she does. No matter what she *is* --
Bruce pulls back and stares at her, stares *into* her --
Tim
shakes her head -- and squeezes her eyes shut because Jay is making
*love* to her hole, kissing it so hard as he strokes her hips, as he
holds her so *open*. He's *saying* things, and Tim can't help knowing
what they are, can't help feeling them and feeling them chip away at
everything holding her apart from this --
There's nothing that
*can* hold her apart. She's -- she's *here*, and there's nothing she
can do about that other than *leave* -- and she knows, deep inside,
that she'll never, ever do that.
Not until they send her away, not until they need her to be gone -- oh, please, *no* --
And Jason pulls back. "No what, baby? Is it too -- tell me what's wrong?"
That was out loud. That --
Bruce strokes her face, tilts her head up -- "Open your eyes, Tim."
"I. I -- please, I."
"Yes," Bruce says. "*Please*."
Tim
hears herself *sob*, breath catching and *hitching* -- she opens her
eyes and lets herself get searched by Bruce, lets herself -- Jason is
stroking her hips almost restlessly, and she's so *hot* in the cool
air, so -- she shakes her head again. "I'm not -- don't *stop*, or --"
"You said *no*, baby --"
"I
didn't -- I really didn't *mean* it," Tim says, and her laugh sounds
terrible to her own ears, cracked and fucking *hysterical*. "It was
just -- something in my mind. Something I had to *deny*. *Vehemently*."
Bruce frowns, but --
"Brain-trash, Tim?"
"Yes,
*that*," she says, and oh, please, only that, only *ever* that, please
don't let them let her *go* -- "Please, I. You can -- I need you inside
me, Jay. I --"
Jason moans and squeezes her hard. "You sure? You're ready?"
Inside she feels -- she knows that even though she only feels a *little* raw now, that the second Jason's inside her --
Possibly the first push --
Tim swallows. "Try to... go slow." Slow and --
"Good
thing I got so thoroughly *fucking* laid last night, because -- heh.
You look *incredible*," Jason says, and kisses her again, hard and
*fast*, fucking her until she feels like she might shake herself apart,
and --
Bruce is moving. She wants to call his name, call him back --
She's
moaning and hanging her head, not *quite* clawing at the horse, just --
this should feel like a *tease*, now. This -- she's *had* this already,
today, she's been spanked and she knows what she *wants*. It's just
that this is so liquid, so warm and so *good*, against everything even
resembling sexual fairness.
("No, the *other* sex talk.")
Barbara
-- oh, *God*, how is she going to explain this to Barbara? How,
exactly, is she explaining it to herself? There are no real *words* for
this other than the ones so familiar she thinks she knows their
*taste*. Need and hunger, pleasure and love, so *much* in the way Jason
is forgetting himself again, in the way that she knows, with all of
herself, that he'll just keep doing this until she comes again if she
doesn't stop him --
("Bruce looks like he can do you that way for *years* --")
*Bruce*,
and the way he knows her, the way he can touch her effortlessly, read
her like she's never been anything *but* obvious --
And Jason makes a noise *into* her, making Tim jump and shudder, gasp -- Jason pulls *back* --
"*Bruce* just brought the lube. I think we're in business, baby --"
"Oh,
thank God," she says, laughs again --" And there's a hand on her back,
sliding up to the back of her neck -- "Bruce," she says, and smiles.
"Come back around here, please."
Bruce squeezes the back of
her neck -- it feels more like a spasm than a decision made with actual
thought -- and then he lets go and moves, cups her face with both hands
and just... looks.
Tim raises an eyebrow -- and moans at the
feel of Jason pushing in with one finger, slick and cool and perhaps
*dangerously* soothing --
"It's. Only the medical grade. I didn't want either of you to wait," Bruce says, and strokes Tim's cheekbones with his thumbs.
"It feels -- ah. Very good. Perhaps I'm somewhat... biased."
Bruce smiles, eyes tracking her fast, searching her for something. Maybe everything. Maybe --
Jason
is moving so *slowly*, and it feels like he's planning to make her as
slick as *possible*, and -- it feels good. It feels... there's
something *about* the slowness of it, even though she's hard and aching
in several *distinct* ways.
It's -- there's a promise to it, a
sense of absolute *attention* to this part of her, this thing they're
about to do, or -- she doesn't know. It's another one of the larger
mysteries of sex, and everything it can make her feel at the *oddest*
times -- if not, necessarily, the most inconvenient.
"Pleasure," and Bruce presses against her cheekbones with his thumbs. "Confusion?"
"I -- it feels *too* good, for being so slow and gentle. I don't know. I'm... trying to figure it out."
"My hand and your ass *are* pretty good buds at this point, baby."
Tim clenches as hard as she can -- and gasps because --
"Did that hurt?"
"I
-- um. Not pain, per se. Just -- bright. A *flare* of feeling -- mm."
Bruce's thumb on her mouth, pressing -- does he not want her to talk?
Tim *licks* his thumb and leaves her mouth open so she can breathe
against it, so he can feel --
"Inside, you're probably... quite raw," Bruce says, and slowly pushes his thumb into her mouth, pushes down on her tongue --
Tim
nods and closes her lips around it, but Bruce starts to pull out -- oh,
*Jason* starts to pull out -- and they both push back in, slowly and
just -- oh.
Oh, this is going to be --
Tim shivers and moans, clenches again and *moans*, and Bruce must be watching the motion of Jason's shoulder, has to be --
*Oh*, and it's even worse the second time, even more *synchronized*, and Tim shivers again --
"Like that, baby?"
Tim
bites Bruce's finger to keep herself from clenching again, making this
more *intense* -- but it doesn't keep Bruce from sliding out when Jason
does, doesn't keep him from pushing back *in* --
She's
salivating. And sweating. And -- oh, that *push*, deeper this time, and
maybe less about preparing her than getting ready to *fuck* --
"See,
I *know* Bruce is fucking your mouth a little while I do *this*. The
*question* is if it's getting you as hot as *thinking* about it is
getting me."
Jason wants. Jason would *want* this, at least if
it were her with her fingers inside him, and -- no, he'd enjoyed
sucking Bruce so *much*. She can picture it, almost *hear* the sounds
he'd make, and it's making her harder, making her need --
Oh,
just -- *together*, and every time Bruce's thumb doesn't go all the way
to the back of her throat, Tim wants to whimper, *beg* --
Jason's pushing so *deep*, and that's what Jason would want from her, what *he* would maybe beg for --
"God, baby, the way -- you're holding yourself so *still* and it looks like it *hurts* when you shake --"
It
*does*, and maybe that comes through in her moan, because Jason grabs
her hip with his free hand and *pulls* her into the next thrust --
Bruce cups the back of her head and pulls her into *his* thrust, and this time she does whimper, shake more --
"Fuck, I -- two, now. Okay, baby?"
She
nods and swallows back saliva, sucks Bruce's fingers because she needs
to do something other than just make *noise*. Bruce strokes her hair,
breaking the spikes and cupping her, *holding* her --
And when
Jason pulls out, he does the same, all the way this time, and comes
back with his first two fingers, opens her mouth with them and *holds*
there --
Until Jason starts to push in.
She groans.
She can't *help* groaning, because her body isn't sure where the
stretch is, isn't sure which *part* of her is being forced open,
*shoved* open --
"You feel so fucking *good* --"
"Your mouth is soft, wet... these are entirely logical things, and yet I find them compelling, Tim..."
*Please*,
she says, only she can't because of Bruce's fingers in her mouth. The
taste of them, mild and faintly salt, and it seems as though she
*should* be able to know more about Jason's fingers, should be able to
do more than pick out the exact shape of them and their motion inside
her --
Faster, now, and Bruce could make her choke and Jason
could make her *hurt*, but neither of them are doing anything of the
kind. Just -- so smooth, so sweet it makes her ache, and it's nothing
like being used. It's just *her* pleasure, and how it won't *stop*,
like those nightmare fantasies of Jason sucking her the way he'd sucked
Bruce last night, like all those dreams where Jason did nothing but
kiss her, wet and soft like her mouth, like --
Oh --
She
can *move*, it's just that doing that might break this, somehow, might
make it *stop*, and -- she doesn't know if she wants that or not. It's
so perfect, so incredible to feel them moving her, making her take,
making her feel --
Oh, *please* --
"You're shaking so *much* now, and -- fuck, baby, if you weren't so hard I'd wonder if we were hurting you --"
This
moan is much too loud, much too -- Bruce could at least have the
courtesy to help her choke it *off*, but he's still cupping her head,
still pulling her in even as Jason pulls *out*, back and forth and
*back* again, and her knees are going to buckle, her arms can't
possibly keep *holding* her --
"Jesus, yeah. I -- I almost don't *want* to use my dick --"
Tim clenches and *bites* --
"I
believe she's expressing some displeasure with that line of thought,"
Bruce says, and Tim grinds her teeth *in*, because the least he could
do is feel as crazy as *she* does --
"Okay, okay, Tim, you're -- it's just that you're so *beautiful* like this --"
"*Yes* --"
"*Please*,"
and it's muffled by Bruce's fingers, slurred and completely
unintelligible -- except that it makes Jason thrust *hard*, breaking
the rhythm at last and letting her *shout* --
"Jay," and there's a warning in Bruce's voice --
"She *likes* it hard, B, you *know* that --"
"We mustn't. She can be *damaged* by this --"
"I
know, I know, but when she begs like that I have to *listen*, and you
can't tell me you're not feeling it," Jason says, pulling out slow and
thrusting in just a little faster than before, just --
"I am.
I want to." And Tim can hear his breathing hitch, hear a small, *small*
sound like a moan he's *trying* to hold back -- Tim sucks his fingers
hard and reaches for him, for the *bulge* in his shorts -- "*Tim* --"
"*Let* her, B. She -- God, I think she knows what she wants *now*."
And
maybe it's something she should dislike, this -- talking *over* her
when the only reason she can't communicate is Bruce's fingers in her
mouth --
Except that Jason presses *up*, and there are
suddenly a *lot* of reasons why she can't communicate, unless the
noises she's making are all they need to hear, all --
She
always wants her voice to be *lighter* than it is, and it's not that
her voice is particularly deep, but it's coming out as low as it can go
right now, harsh grunts and a moan when Jason starts thrusting again,
when she starts *working* her hips because it's going to be soon, they
won't make her *wait* --
And when Bruce thrusts against her hand she has to squeeze --
"Oh. Tim."
Has
to *clutch* and try to pull him closer, try to coordinate her own
movements enough to get as much of both of them as she can.
Take
your *shorts* off, she tries to say with her groans, with the grind of
her teeth against Bruce's fingers. Let me *see*, but all he does is
thrust against her palm again --
Again, and he's not thrusting
into her mouth, anymore, and one of the few parts of her mind which is
still offering anything like useful information wants her to know how
*important* it is that Bruce has lost his rhythm, wants her to remember
how long it has been since Bruce had carried her here, how much Bruce
has to *want* --
"Oh, *yeah*, B, sometimes I *just* want to fuck her fist. I can't -- I have no *idea* how I used to fuck civilians --"
"Soft.
They are... I. Tim," and Bruce strokes the back of her head and down to
her neck, around her throat and up her cheek. "Tim. Would you like. May
I."
"Spit it *out*, Bruce --"
"*Jay* --"
"She
*needs* to hear it," Jason says, and he's emphasizing himself with his
thrusts, making Tim work her hips faster, grunt around the fingers in
her mouth -- "She loves it when I tell her what I want, maybe even more
than when I *show* her --"
"No denial, no... recourse against your own desires --"
"Or maybe she just likes the dirty talk. Right, baby?"
She
moans and -- she *shouts*, because Jason slaps her ass again, reaches
around to slap the other *side*, and he's still thrusting, still moving
in her --
Oh --
Again, more, hard and *fast*, and Tim
knows that her mouth is hanging open, that she's panting and groaning
for it, twitching and *shaking* --
"I want your *mouth*,"
Bruce says, the hunger in his voice is vast, dark and shadowy,
something which has the capacity to loom over everything and *define*.
It's an *imperative*, and she *has* to let him go and grip his wrist,
instead, has to *pull* because Bruce isn't taking the hint --
"Oh, fuck. Oh... I wanna tell you to watch out for her teeth, but I already know you *like* that, B --"
"And
so do you," Bruce says, and he still sounds hungry, but there are
elements of accusation and *plea*. He still has his *fingers* in Tim's
mouth, and they're in the *way*.
She yanks *hard* on his wrist
and Bruce shudders, all over, presses down on Tim's tongue again -- and
shudders again when she glares.
"Are you seriously going to make her *fight* for your cock?"
It
seems to break something tight and harsh within Bruce. He blinks like
he's just waking up and smiles -- "It seems as though that would be
something to see -- ah."
Possibly she's biting his fingers *too* hard --
"You've left a bruise already, Tim. Would you mark me as you've marked Jason?"
Would you like to be mine?
And
it is, perhaps, possible that Bruce can hear that, can *feel* that the
way she's feeling Jason to the point that her body doesn't feel like
her own --
Bruce slides his fingers out of her mouth *slowly*,
perhaps taking the maximum amount of *scrape* from her teeth for his
own, perhaps --
Jason crooks his fingers again, and this time
her vision blanks for it, this time all the sweat that was prickling
beneath her skin is *out*, making her obvious, impossibly sexual --
And when she can see again, Bruce is pushing down his shorts, stepping out of them --
"God, B. You got hard as soon as you heard her heels on the *stairs*, didn't you?"
"Yes,"
he says, and takes himself in hand, steps closer until she loses the
scent of herself under the scent of him, the feel she doesn't *have*,
yet, and she braces herself on her hands and looks up into Bruce's
eyes. "Tim."
"If you try to... oh, *Jay* --"
Crooking *rhythmically*, over and over -- "Yeah, baby?"
"Ah. I need. Need a *moment* --"
"Not too long. Not -- I'm. God, are you really gonna suck him while I fuck you?"
"I'd like to try," she says, and leans in enough to nuzzle, enough to lick, gently --
And
watch Bruce shudder again. She smiles, and Jason shoves her dress up
further, strokes her back and scratches a little, then scratches down
over her *cheek* --
"*Jay*, I --"
"Fuck, sorry, baby, just -- need to make you *feel*, or. Reach back and grab me?"
She
does, and Jason guides her hand to him, wraps her fingers around him
and moans, and Tim has things to *say*, but none of them are as
important as taking the head of Bruce's penis into her mouth and
sucking *hard* --
Bruce gasps and shudders *again* --
"Is she sucking you, B? Does she --"
"The
heat of her mouth. I. I feel..." And Bruce cups the back of her head
again. He *doesn't* pull, but that feels more like accident than intent
-- or perhaps just something she can *punish*.
Tim pulls back --
"Tim. Please --"
"If
you try to synchronize your thrusts with Jason again, I'll bite in a
way you won't *like*," she says, and Jason's laugh sounds breathless
and *pleased* --
"Understood," Bruce says, and *now* he pulls --
"*Now*, Jay -- *oh* -- *mmm* --"
Jason
fucking her with his fingers and Bruce's penis filling her mouth,
stretching it open and giving her a *reason* for all the drool, giving
her *this*, even though he must feel as though he's taking, the way
she'd felt the first several times Jason had sucked her --
One
of the ways, and it's a *very* good thing that Bruce doesn't have all
the same issues she does, and it's an even better thing that Jason is
pulling out --
"Have to, baby. Can't wait --"
She hums
and Bruce thrusts deeper into her mouth, pulls back and does it again.
Fucks her *face*, and had Barbara ever fantasized about this, in
particular? Did she ever imagine herself on her knees to Batman in some
alley, on some rooftop?
Or did Bruce look at her perfect,
painted mouth and dream -- *oh*, that push, that *feel*, because Jason
goes slow but he doesn't hesitate, doesn't pause until he's all the way
in and Tim is stinging, needing --
"Oh, *yeah*, I -- God, don't know how I went without this yesterday, never know how I can fucking *live* --"
"Her
mouth. I." Bruce strokes her head almost restlessly, moving to drag
lines over her cheeks with his fingertips, cracking more spikes and not
*quite* pulling --
"Yeah, *I* know," and Jason holds her in
place and *rocks* his hips, back and forth and -- oh, it's *not*
gentle, but it's so smooth she has to moan again --
"*Tim* --"
--
*right* around Bruce, and he squeezes her face hard enough to *hurt*
for a moment before going back to petting her, stroking her --
"Beautiful, so generous. Batgirl."
And
that probably didn't mean 'bare your teeth *now*,' but it might've --
if she goes by the way Bruce *groans* and starts to rock *his* hips,
pushing in and *in*, making her take and torturing himself, too --
"Can't fucking *decide* which of us has the better deal here, B -- oh, Jesus, baby, clench up tight again --"
Jason's
fingers are lined up against aging bruises, either by accident or
design. He presses with his fingers and the pain shoots through her,
light and promising. And maybe the promise is fulfilled by *this*
clench, by the *brightness* of the pain, the absolute and undeniable
*fact* of it --
"Fuck, *yes*, now let me go a little, let me
-- can't fuck you hard with you all tight right now, and I *know* you
want it hard --"
She nods as much as she can with Bruce holding her, sucks and forces herself to relax everywhere *except* her mouth --
"The feel. The sight of you, so *willing* --"
Another
scrape of her teeth and Bruce *bucks*, making her moan and choking it
off at once, and knowing that she *has* the reflex to swallow is
nothing against the way she'd just *done* it, without so much as taking
a breath first --
"*Right* now, baby," and Jason spanks her
again and starts to thrust steadily, shoving her up on her toes with
every push, and it's only the way she's braced on her arms that's
stopping Jason from shoving her onto *Bruce*.
Or -- no, he's
holding her head still for his own thrusts, and the light tremor in his
hands is the only real sign of the *depth* of his arousal --
"The
things you find pleasurable seem. Unreal. Impossible to believe in. You
are -- perfection, a fantasy I believed I had too much shame to
encourage within myself..."
*Bruce*. And what... did that mean she's too greedy? Too -- over the top?
"*My* fantasy, knocking all the others out -- out of my fucking head, B. Only her, only everything --"
"I
*understand*," Bruce says, and starts to thrust faster, giving her next
to no time between thrusts to gasp in air, no time to really *moan*,
even though Jason's using just the right rhythm, the one where she
can't ever doubt how much pleasure he's taking from this, how much he
*wants* --
"I think -- think you do. Oh, fuck, baby, *fuck* --"
Yes, *fuck*, fuck *her*, take her and use, please --
*Please*,
and the pain is growing with every thrust, each slide of Jason's penis
seeming infinitesimally rougher, *harder*, until she's forgetting to
gasp for all the noises she needs to make, all the sounds she needs to
have choked *off* by Bruce --
Oh --
The *scent* of him
is so strong, so -- so thick and *rich*, pushing into her as much as
his penis is, *fucking* her with pure male arousal until she can't even
smell herself. It's -- it's *wrong* that she can't smell Jason, that
she can only *feel* him --
Feel him taking, faster now because --
"Sorry, Tim, I'm so -- you feel so *sweet* --"
Jason
has always seemed to -- benefit from, not suffer -- a kind of sexual
synesthesia, insisting that her moans have a taste, her bites -- or the
moments before them -- a *smell*. Jason lives in his body so easily, so
perfectly, and at moments like these, Tim can almost imagine what it
must be like.
There's nothing she has to do to please both
Bruce and Jason other than more of *this*, and this has all the raw
necessity of autonomic function: the motion of her tongue on Bruce, the
helpless clench of her internal muscles, the noises she's making that
only sound like more, even to her own ears.
A part of her
thinks it would be better to *have* words for this, but that's the part
which remains unmoved and unmovable no matter what she does, no matter
who she *is*. A useful thing for Batgirl on the street, but nothing
that belongs here, not now, not --
"Hold me. Only. Only that," and Bruce pulls almost all the way out, making her reach for him, pull against Jason's hold --
"Not yet, baby, not. Oh, Jesus, fuck, I'm so *close* --"
"*Breathe*,"
Bruce says, and it hits her in the same place that Barbara's voice
does, demands the same *obedience*. She opens her mouth around Bruce
and gasps, does it again because her body drinks in the oxygen like
water in a desert --
Again, because she can, and every exhale is making Bruce shake, making Jason moan --
Or
perhaps that's just the feel of her, the thing over which she has no
control, but that Jason worships as part of *her*. Jason loves -- he
*loves* her, and has for a long time, and the knowledge fills her up
and leaves her gasping for other reasons, makes her shake and clench,
clench and *shout* --
"Please, Tim. I need -- take me. Take me, again..."
She
closes her lips around Bruce and sucks as hard as she can, holding him
with as much pressure as she can bring to bear without hurting her lips
on her own teeth --
"Pressure, hunger. Be *ready*," and Bruce
cups her head again and pushes in *just* as slowly as Jason had, just
as smoothly, only Jason's rhythm is ragged and *harsh*, nothing she can
respond to with more than just her own speed, her desire to make this
*right* --
"Don't -- oh, God, I don't want to *hurt* --"
"Never damage, never. Never *scar* --"
"Baby, *please* --"
And she's moaning around Bruce's penis, feeling the *push* of it against the back of her throat, insistent and implacable --
She
*swallows* and shudders all over, barely managing to avoid falling back
against Jason, because she's so *full* now, more with every thrust,
more with every breath she can't *take* --
Bruce wants to be
held, wants to be -- oh, the feel of him last night, so warm and so
close as she drifted off to sleep. So *comforting*, and maybe it was
the same for Jason, uncomplicated memories of his parents --
Tim
remembers being curled in the backseat of the old Mercedes, covered
with her father's suit jacket with her head pillowed on her mother's
sweater, remembers *this* warmth, this precise full-body feel of
perfect safety, perfect --
Happiness?
Laughter is
impossible, but she's still shaking with it, still has it all *through*
her, and it must be in her eyes, because Bruce looks shocked, pleased
in a way Tim doesn't know how to *touch* --
"Batgirl," he
says, again, and she wants to correct him -- she's *Tim* now, and no
one else -- but it's possible that he's seeing someone else, entirely.
Let him. This is *hers*, now, and it always will be. No one will be
able to take this away from her, this feeling of being entirely in her
body in a way she hasn't managed since the last spar with Bruce, the
moments before she had made the mistake which allowed him to throw her
--
Or maybe those brief and brutally precise moments of flight, out of control and lost to the violent whim of a powerful man --
*Two* powerful men, both of them --
"*Please*, baby, please don't make me stop --"
"Just this, Tim. I. Please..."
Both of them *begging* for her now, begging for everything she can give them and everything she *is* -- or can be.
A *light* within her, a power in her sexuality --
Tim
closes her eyes against the plea in Bruce's own and gives *in* to it,
to the sensations rushing through her in waves and jagged thrusts, to
the feel of being full and utterly taken. Full --
And utterly powerful. If only for the time it takes --
"Can't. Fuck. Love you, love you need you --"
"*Tim* --"
More,
then, if she can, and she sucks at Bruce's shaft, works her hips in the
small space Jason is allowing -- his hands are so *slick* on her hips
--
Bruce's fingers are slick on her temple, shaking *hard* on the back of her head --
And then Jason squeezes her hips hard enough to make her need to shout, *slams* in --
"*Jay*."
Bruce sounds hurt, *desperate*, and she knows he's staring at Jason,
watching him come and wanting it for himself, maybe wanting the feel,
too, the heat and perfection --
Jason pulls out *much* too fast, tightens his grip even more -- is he collapsing?
"Jesus -- oh, fuck, so *good*," and his hands are sliding down her thighs, his come is slipping down her cleft --
She
can't *breathe* and Bruce is twitching in her mouth, thrusting again --
short and *blunt*, fucking her face and wanting Jason, he has to be --
"I need. Tim, I *need* --"
Oh
-- but she knows that, she still knows -- she braces herself on one
hand and reaches for Bruce's hip with the other, curling her fingers in
and urging him to take more, longer strokes, *better* --
"Nuh. Uh... Jesus, Bruce, you haven't come yet?"
"Close.
I --" And the rest of that is a groan, deep, and -- if it did have a
taste it would be something strong, something that forces Tim to
salivate, makes her mouth ache and demand *more* --
And then
Jason *licks* her, up the inside of her thigh, and Tim realizes that
she'd lost sight of her own arousal, and realizes that that can't
happen, anymore.
"God, I *am* dirty, 'cause --"
And Tim squeezes Bruce's hip *hard*, because Jason's licking her again, licking up lube and his own come --
*Jesus* --
"Can't help myself, baby," he says, low and slurred. "You can take it --"
And
the sound that comes out of her when Bruce pulls back again is loud and
*high*, perhaps a little *indignant* -- or perhaps she's fooling
herself, because it feels *just* that good, soothing and *raw* at once,
like possibly she could *never* be too dirty for Jason, in any possible
*way* --
But Bruce shoves in again and chokes her off before
she has to admit *anything*, Bruce is hard and *twitching* in her
mouth, thick and long and so *good*, so -- he *is* close, and possibly
she can get Jason to stop once Bruce has come.
She bares her teeth again, scraping them over the inside of her lip and rubbing them against Bruce's shaft --
And
then Bruce is *gripping* her head and fucking her *hard*, over and over
until she can't help but gag a little, and more until she finds his
rhythm in self-defense, swallowing and making obscenely muffled noises
--
Jason's *tongue* inside her again, thrusting and reminding
her how raw she is, how much she'd just taken again, how much she --
really can't take again. God, how *dare* it feel this good? He better
not expect her to *kiss* him -- except that she will, and probably
*love* it, and maybe they'll give each other nasty infections and have
to be benched for their own fucking --
*Good* --
And
Bruce isn't slowing down so much as he's losing his rhythm, shuddering
and pausing while he's buried down her throat, jerking and squeezing
her head when he's just resting on her tongue --
"Do you want. Your pleasure. I."
What was that?
"I'm --" *Lick* -- "I'm pretty sure he's asking if you want him to come in your mouth, baby."
Oh. And *oh*, because Jason's in her again, Jason's pushing in a finger *next* to his tongue --
She's up on her toes --
"*Please*."
And
the only possible answer is to *grip* Bruce's hip and pull him in
deeper, pull him back into her throat -- and then her hand decides on
its own agenda and she's reaching around to Bruce's ass, pushing into
his cleft and rubbing, *pushing* --
Bruce shouts and *grinds* her face against his mound, hair ticklish and rough --
He's
coming in her and bucking, knocking her finger back out of him and
groaning -- she tries to get back in, but Bruce pulls out and
*staggers* back, just like Jason when she's done an especially good job
-- he grabs himself and squeezes, throwing his head back --
And spattering the horse.
Tim
sucks in a breath and licks her lips -- and does it again because
they're swollen and tender, because she can't *taste* him the way Jason
is tasting her, tasting himself -- she growls and swipes her fingers
through the spot on the horse, bringing them to her mouth and -- oh. He
tastes so *different* from Jason, cleaner and heavier at the same time
--
She's making a sound. She's making several sounds, most of them wet and *shameless* --
And
Bruce takes her face in his hands and kisses her gently, licking the
inside of her mouth clean and generally giving her an entirely opposite
overall feeling from Jason, who's still fingering and tonguing her at
once.
She feels herself twitch and knows that she's *been*
doing it all throughout, that there has to be a wet spot on the floor
beneath her penis from all the pre-come --
Her dress --
And Bruce wraps an arm around her waist and *lifts* --
"Hey, no fair, B --"
Bruce
pulls her against him and kisses her cheek, her temple, her *ear*, and
should she wrap her legs around him, again? What message would that
send, exactly?
"*She* needs to come," and Jason had clearly moved right away, because he's cupping the backs of her thighs and lifting --
"Oh. I -- ah. About -- coming. I'm not sure I can take more attention directed at my ass, right now -- *mm* --"
Bruce's
tongue in her mouth and Jason wrapping her legs around Bruce *for* her
-- and reaching between her legs to cup her sac, which wants the rest
of her know that it still *hurts*, that Jason's spanks had been the
sort of thing which *lingered*, and the pain almost makes it okay --
Did
she really just think that? Is she about to ask them to do something
hideously *mean* to her penis in the name of helping her with her
*issues*?
She laughs into Bruce's mouth and gets held tighter, almost *crushed* against him as Jason squeezes her, strokes --
"So
maybe I'm kinda oral," he says, and there's a good, long moment to
*think* about what that means, but it's not enough to prepare her for
the feel of Jason *sucking* on her sac, because she thrusts against
Bruce helplessly once, twice --
His t-shirt is too *soft*, and
she's scrabbling for the hem of the thing while Bruce hums into her
mouth, makes her tongue buzz in memory, makes her lips feel like they
could be used over and *over* -- she's pressed too tightly against him
to get the shirt up.
She pulls back --
Jason *sucks* --
She grunts and Bruce holds her tight enough that she can't *breathe*. She bites his tongue and *holds* it --
Bruce relaxes his grip *slightly*. Just enough that Tim can get his shirt up, feel his heat, scars and hair and warm *skin* --
"I'm sorry --"
"Shut
*up*," she says, and kisses Bruce again, wraps her arms around his neck
and doesn't think about anything but the feel of him. So -- impossibly
*large*, solid, and he might as well be the extremely comfortable wall
she's rubbing herself against, and Jason --
Jason *moaning*
around her sac, down on his knees and taking something she'd never
given permission for, and -- he knows that's one of her fantasies.
Whether or not he's thinking about that right now is another story, but
he *does* know, so --
Maybe she can live in the Tim Drake who's *just* that hungry, just that helpless before Batman and Robin, the most beautiful --
Batgirl
should kiss Batman *exactly* like this, greedy and rough, brave and
sure against everything he can do to her with hardly any effort
expended. Batgirl has to be strong for this, Batman *needs* her to be
strong -- no.
*Bruce* needs to know how much she wants him,
how much she appreciates *everything* about him, including the need
inside him, the thing that drives him to always take too *much*, to
push himself in where he doesn't belong --
Jason --
Jason's
*teeth*, and she shouts into Bruce's mouth, bucks and grinds and
*thrusts*, letting him feel her, feel everything, and he has one arm
locked around her waist and the other hand on her cheek, splayed and
*gripping*. Tim sucks his tongue, soothes it with her own and thinks
about biting again, thinks about --
Jason's *moan*, humming
through her from her sac right up her spine, and he's stroking her ass
so *hard*, calluses dragging against where she's still stinging and hot
--
Tim bites Bruce's lip because she *has* to, and he pulls
back with it still between her teeth. His eyes are bright, happy and
still so *hungry*, and Tim moans and shudders, grips him with her
thighs --
"Will you come for us, Tim?"
"And how much. How much are you loving that 'us?'" She's panting now, and Bruce's eyes are wider, sharper --
"Very, very much," Bruce says, and lets go of her face, reaches down --
Jason moans again, and she knows that Bruce's hand is in his hair, perhaps tugging a little --
Tim
feels her face twisting with something that must look like hurt -- it
*is* hurt, the pain of being this aroused, this *close* with Bruce
against her, Jason *on* her -- she pants more, right against Bruce's
mouth. The dress is a bunched-up *mess*, and she must be, too, but
Bruce looks like he doesn't want to be *done* with her.
This could last --
This could *last*, and there's fear for that, thorned and deadly, driving her --
Making her --
"Tim," Bruce says, and there may have been more words after that, but she's screaming, her eyes are squeezed shut --
She's coming all over Bruce's *chest*, all over herself, and she can't stop screaming and Jason *won't* stop --
Won't --
*Please*,
she thinks, when she's shaking herself back into her body, when she
realizes that she's digging her nails in against the back of Bruce's
neck --
When Jason pulls off and leaves her swinging, wet, *dirty* --
"Oh,
baby," and Jason's up and kissing the back of her neck, pressing the
dress against her sweaty skin, licking her and kissing more, breathing
against her --
Tim catches her breath in a series of
increasingly controlled gasps, keeping her eyes closed until she *can*
breathe in something like a normal way. When she opens them, Bruce is
studying her, a smile at the corner of his mouth and the light in his
eyes... banked, not dimmed.
Tim raises an eyebrow.
Bruce's smile gets significantly sharper. "And if I don't want to let you go, just yet?"
Reading
her with ease and a very, very attractive confidence. "Then I suppose
I'll have to think of something suitably cruel --"
"To encourage me, Tim...?"
That... Tim digs her left heel in just above his kidney and drags it down.
"Beautiful," he says, and searches her more --
Jason laughs. "Seriously, B, you *have* to put her down. I kinda need to kiss her."
"You 'kinda need' to brush your *teeth*," Tim says, turning to look at Jason. "I can't believe you *did* that."
And
describing Jason's grin -- she's not going to describe Jason's grin,
right now. It's a little too on the *nose*, as it were --
"Aw, c'mon, baby. Your ass was right *there*, little hole flexing and clenching..."
Bruce
hums and *cups* her ass, squeezes hard enough to make her body remember
that spanking in *detail* -- she can't quite keep herself from writhing
a little.
"Oh, yeah...?"
"I -- ah." She looks at Bruce
and the light is back, and she thinks she'll call it *possibility*.
Something more direct than potential, something broader than simple
*want* -- "Food. Training --"
Jason's stomach grumbles. "Damn, why'd you have to remind me?"
"Because we've... spent enough time at this as it is," she says, and *kicks* Bruce. Lightly.
Bruce
hums again and releases his grip *just* enough to let her *slide* down
to the floor. She shivers and watches Bruce's penis *twitch* -- she
doesn't lick her lips.
"You were *about* to say *wasted*
time," Jason says, and spins her around to face him, pulls her close by
the hips. "But you couldn't."
"Ah... no. I couldn't."
"*Good*," and he squeezes her hips. "Shower?"
"An
excellent idea," Bruce says, and slips his finger between the back of
her neck and the dress. As choking goes, she's had more... compelling,
but there's something about the *way* he does it --
Possessive.
Tim shivers, and stills herself from doing it again when he pulls the
zipper down. He pauses with his fingers pressed to the small of her
back -- "Ah... I really hope the dry cleaners will be able to do
something with this --"
"For this, I'm quite sure Alfred will want to take matters into his own hands."
Jason snorts. "Okay, *not* thinking about that at *all* --"
Tim feels herself making a face. "Yes, *really* --"
Bruce
hums again and strokes up Tim's back, pushing the dress forward off her
shoulders. Jason steps back to give Tim room to step *out* of it, and
then she's naked save for stockings, garters, and her bra --
Jason's eyes are -- very.
"*Later*," she says --
"I'm
not saying *anything*, baby," Jason says and nods back over her
shoulder. "That dress looks *obscenely* tiny in Bruce's hands.
Tim turns back to look... well, yes. "Presumably I'll grow," she says, and reaches to unhook the bra. Bruce takes that, too --
And Jason drops into a crouch to release the catch on her garters --
"Presumably the two of you will let me dress and undress myself, *sometimes*."
"We did this morning," Bruce says, and it sounds *exactly* like 'you can only ask so much.'
Tim
snorts and shakes her head, and lets Jason strip her out of the --
somehow entirely whole -- stockings. When he's done, he kisses his way
up her thighs... and to her abdomen. To her *navel*, and Tim pushes up
on her toes again --
Bruce rests a hand on one of her
shoulders. Presumably he doesn't want to let go of her clothes with the
other. It's -- a request to stay put? To *let* Jason... not tickle her.
Not really *arouse* her, either. It's an *odd* feeling, more than
anything else, but watching Jason do it...
She really can't help
thinking of other things. She reaches down to stroke his face, and he
smiles while licking -- stabbing a little, really, and --
"*Shower*," she says, and Bruce lets go of her, and Jason stands up again -- and kisses her throat.
"You always look so good to me..."
Tim
closes her eyes and thinks about staying just like this, about how very
few actions -- and reactions -- it would take for them all to start
having sex again. It's a curious kind of control, a lot like holding a
very large and dangerous animal by the tail --
And perhaps her
brain needs to be taken out and *shot*, because now she's thinking
about just how *hard* Bruce had come when she'd pushed in with just one
finger -- focus. *Focus*.
She takes a deep breath and deliberately fails to give Jason a *good* hug --
"Okay,
okay, I hear you, baby," he says, and steps back again. She turns and
walks for the showers, aware of Bruce picking up the stockings almost
reverently, of Jason watching her move...
She works her hips a little.
*
She
washes his back with the kind of professionalism that makes Jason mourn
inside, especially because it's absolutely a message. Still, he can
keep himself under control while he does the same for her, and he does,
limiting himself to working at a slight knot she has near her left
shoulder and getting her clean, again. He watches, though, out of the
corner of his eye, and she doesn't frown much at all when she's washing
her tackle, and that has to count as absolute improvement.
Bruce
acts like he's alone in the shower when he gets in, but it's not in a
bad way. Just that sort of 'we're all adults here' thing that Jason has
to wonder how much he used to fake. He's *pretty* sure it's not fake,
now, and Bruce smiles a little when he turns to let Jason wash *his*
back.
They're all on board, and if he's honest with himself,
it feels at least as good as more sex would -- if in completely
different ways. Jason leaves the shower first, so he's just in time to
help Alfred laying out the breakfast things on the conference table.
He
thanks Jason as politely as ever for his help, and Jason's ready to go
with the idea that they're just going to play this like nothing freaky
is happening, but -- Alfred pauses with the empty tray in his hand.
"Al...?"
"Hm,"
he says, and he could be looking at nothing or he could be taking in
the whole Cave -- and everything that's been going on. When he puts his
mind to it, no one's harder to read than Alfred.
"Everything okay?"
"I might ask you the same question, Master Jason," he says, and turns enough to give Jason the Eyebrow.
Not even Tim's eyebrows come close, and yeah, Jason's blushing a little. "Uh. I think so?"
"No
more than that...?" And Alfred isn't frowning, but the potential is
there, and for a moment Jason lets himself think about it, about what
Alfred is and isn't willing to deal with for Bruce -- and for him. He
isn't sure he wants to know if Tim rates -- or *how* she does, and --
Damn. "This -- it's just not going to be *not* fucked up, a little. Do you know what I mean?"
The
eyebrow goes up a little higher, and the potential frown gets a little
deeper -- "Master Jason, if... something is the matter, then it must be
--"
"Dealt with, yeah, I'm hearing you," Jason says, and
raises his hands. "And maybe something *should* be the matter. A part
of me -- a pretty large part of me is pretty damned clear about *that*,
but -- there's the rest of me."
"I'm listening, young sir."
And
maybe if I was just Jason, maybe if you ever stopped being -- you.
Jason shakes his head. "It's okay, Alfred. It's -- we're dealing. We
all are."
Alfred just looks at him for a long moment, reading
him down to his damned *DNA*, maybe, but Jason just looks right back,
and, after a moment, he nods. "As you say."
"Yeah, I -- yeah."
And
Alfred pulls on about sixteen different layers of formal, standing
straight and giving Jason the goodbye nod before walking away and up
the stairs.
It feels like there should've been more there, but
that's the kid in him talking, the one who survived the streets by
getting buried, the one Tim pulls out of him by breathing, the one who
-- used to -- live with Bruce. Right. He's gonna have to deal with that
kid sooner or later, but right now all he has to deal with is
breakfast.
He piles up his plate and sits down. He's about a
quarter of the way done when Bruce joins him -- oatmeal so plain it
doesn't *deserve* to be eaten -- and a little more than halfway done
when Tim gets there. Her hair looks a lot like it can't decide whether
to lie down or stand up in all directions, and he is not going to say a
*word* about it -- at least not until he finds a way to remove every
available shaver from Gotham. It'll grow out soon enough, and --
It's
a lot more interesting to watch the way she's sitting. A *casual*
observer might not notice anything out of the ordinary, might just
think she's formal enough to always want to sit straight and near the
edge of the chair even for a casual meal, but...
"How you feeling, baby?"
She blushes -- just a little, and she probably won't stab him for the grin on his face.
Probably. "I'm only asking 'cause you look a little... stiff."
She turns to capital-L *Look* at him, spoon poised halfway between the table and her mouth.
"I'm just interested in your *well-being*, baby --" And there's a knife pointed at Jason's eye.
A
butter knife. Jason taps it with the fork he'd raised to block -- ooh,
there's yolk on it. Jason licks it off and grins at her again.
She
narrows her eyes and spins the knife back down to the table -- and
Bruce is looking at both of them from under his lashes while he eats.
There's a smile in those eyes, but there's also a large amount of
*focus*, especially on Tim. "This is where you tell the big, bad Bat
that you're good for training and patrol tonight."
"Well,
considering the fact that I'll be spending very little time sitting
*down* during those activities..." And her voice is calm and steady,
matter-of-fact -- and she's blushing harder.
Jason looks at
Bruce and yeah, he's totally zoning on that blush a little bit. Jason
gets it. She's *shy* right up until you get her started -- or dare
Batgirl to come out and play. And then she's really anything *but* shy
--
Damn. Doing her from both *ends*. Over the *pommel* horse.
And she's just sitting there blushing and eating and sitting up nice
and straight and -- damn.
"Yes, Jason...?"
"Heh. I just got an image of what it's gonna be like to see you in school, uniform perfectly neat, not a hair out of place..."
"Until you drag me into a utility closet?"
Jason
takes a bite of bacon and enjoys it thoroughly. "I was thinkin'...
under the bleachers. Grass stains on your knees, wildflowers stuck in
your hair..."
Tim makes a face. "They *mow* under the bleachers, too, Jason. I doubt there would be flowers --"
"I will bring flowers *with* me and I will shove them in your hair --"
"I will *cut* you --"
"A rose, perhaps?" The smile on Bruce's face is kind of teasing, and absolutely interested.
Jason raises his eyebrows. "Don't you use roses for *dead* people, B?"
"Not," Bruce says, and sips his juice, "all the time."
"Oh -- man. I can't believe I *forgot* that rose you grew for freakin' *Clark*."
Tim
is looking at both of them. She's still holding the butter knife pretty
aggressively, but... "Clark? You grew a rose for *Superman*?"
Bruce looks down, and he's not *actually* blushing, but -- yeah. "He totally did. It was the same blue as his uniform --"
"Almost,"
Bruce says. "I chose the one which came closest for the gift, but... it
was crushed during his rather overly exciting birthday party." He nods
at Jason. "Jason saved all of our lives."
"From a damned
*tentacle* beast," Jason says, and grabs some more bacon -- *someone*
has to eat it. "Clark has the *weirdest* damned enemies."
"Clark," Tim says again, and looks thoughtful. "You're close to him. Both of you?"
"Him
more than me, baby. I gotta admit -- I find him to be a little..."
Jason waves a hand. "Always thought he paid a little too much attention
to my thighs for a -- um."
"A man his age, Jason...?" Bruce's smile is wry and oddly quiet. "It's true that he's very attracted to you --"
"Aw, man, see, I didn't need to *know* that, B. I was *happy* in my denial."
Bruce hums and finishes his oatmeal off --
"Seriously, now I'm gonna be *thinking* about it every time I have to work with the guy --"
"I -- wow. Suddenly Superman is a real person," Tim says, and blinks a little. "A real person I might have to maim."
Jason
snorts and Bruce coughs, a little, raising his napkin to his mouth.
Jason reaches out to cover her hand. "Hey, *don't* worry. Big, tall,
and cornfed *alien* really isn't my type."
"Still. There's only so far I'm willing to *share* you, Jason -- including the right to ogle your very, very nice thighs."
"I promise to try to limit myself to his calves and biceps," Bruce says, with *great* solemnity.
"Hey, they're *my* body parts --"
"Thank
you, Bruce," Tim says, and begins eating her fruit. She never puts
sugar on it that Jason has seen, but sometimes she'll take a little
cream, which for some reason is right up there with the sexiest things
he's ever seen her do.
"You're quite welcome. Jason, would you like to negotiate which parts of Tim I'm free to... ogle?"
Jason -- blushes. "Uh -- um?"
Tim giggles and covers her mouth almost immediately. "Oh, sorry, I just -- perhaps my *breasts*, Bruce."
"Mm. I assure you that I spent a great deal of time considering whether or not to... augment your usual size."
*That* -- "You a breast man, B?"
"I...
overheard that part of your conversation when Tim confessed to having
wanted breasts closer in size to Barbara's. I agree with the choice she
and Barbara made, but I thought... perhaps for clothes not intended for
*work*..."
Tim nods. "But... you didn't want to assume."
Bruce smiles at her. "Something like that, yes. *Was* it... a good gift?"
"It
was both terrifying and intimidating, Bruce. And a very good gift," she
says, and reaches to cover Bruce's hand for a moment. "Thank you.
Though I'm not sure I'll be up to... ah. Celebrating every outfit in
the same manner we chose today."
"Yeah, baby? How 'bout just the ones you like best?"
"*Least* would be far more practical."
"Yeah, but I think it's pretty *imperative* that you feel as pretty as you can. You know, for your self-esteem."
"Mm.
And the proper disposition of my favors, yes," Tim says, and finishes
her fruit before turning to him, smile sharp and demanding, *daring*.
It
makes him roll his shoulders a little -- and makes Bruce lean back and
pull on Batman like a second skin. Jason licks his lips --
"Would you have liked being in *my* position, Jason? Bruce?"
Getting
spanked and fucked and *fucked*, with Tim on one end and Bruce at the
other, and he can see Tim dealing better with being sucked than fucking
-- even if it didn't turn out to be *much* better. And he can see --
Batman,
crumbling right off Bruce like he was never there at all. And Bruce
looks a little *stunned*. Not surprised, really. Just -- *hit*. "I.
Tim. When you inserted your finger --"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. She put a finger up your ass? How the hell did I miss *that*?"
"You were occupying yourself in other, even dirtier ways," Tim says, and dabs her mouth with a napkin. "You seemed... focused."
"Well,
it *was* your ass, baby, but -- seriously? Really? You've never done
that to *me*," he says, and he knows he sounds a little hurt, but --
*damn*.
"Would you like --"
"Uh, *yes*. Holy -- and your hands are so *small* --"
"Too small, I would've thought --"
"No," Bruce says, and looks Tim up and down, starts to reach and *stops* himself --
Tim
raises an eyebrow at Bruce's hand, and it looks a lot like 'oh,
please,' and also 'I'm *waiting*,' and maybe there should be a rule
against Batgirl at the breakfast table, because Bruce *still* looks
like he might be reeling a little on the inside --
But he --
eventually -- curls his hand around Tim's wrist and squeezes. "The
sensation was deeply pleasurable, for all that it was unexpected. I
didn't intend to... move away."
Tim keeps looking at him --
*into* him -- for a while, but then she nods, and turns back to Jason.
"I... to be honest, the idea hadn't ever occurred to me before... that
moment."
He can see that. Tim doesn't really swing that way at
*all*, for all that *Batgirl* was born for it. And no matter how much
Tim hides and *tries* to hide, she's almost always *right* there when
they're making love, like maybe she can't help herself. It's the kind
of helplessness Jason can really --
("I understand... helplessness. And love that doesn't allow freedom.")
--
go with. Hunh. Maybe he's getting a lot of things at once. Maybe -- he
shakes his head and reaches out to touch Tim's face. There's a little
smudge on her jaw that looks like dirt or makeup, but is really a
bruise Bruce and Jason had helped make between them.
Her
*neck* makes her look like a victim, and she's covered up enough by the
robe that he can't see the rest -- but he knows it's there.
"Jason...? Are you all right?"
"Just thinking about you and sex and the kinds of things you'll *take*. Like -- take for yourself, not just put up with."
Tim's
eyes narrow a little in a smile that's probably a lot bigger on the
inside than it is on the out. "Well. There's nothing like someone
else's... passion to make help convince one of one's innate
attractiveness."
Jason can see Bruce nodding out of the corner
of his eye, and when he turns Bruce is staring a little and searching
more, and Jason wonders if he's been passionate *enough* for Bruce, if
there's more he could've said or shown -- "Bruce's hands," Jason says,
and gestures with his chin. "There are totally limits to how much
anyone else can perv on them."
Bruce blinks. And raises an eyebrow slowly.
Jason
grins and leans back in his chair, spreading his hands. "For a while I
was spending a lot of time *thinking* about those hands and what they
could do to me. It would've been a lot easier if they were all *bad*
thoughts, in a way."
Tim twists her wrist in Bruce's grip until he lets go... and then runs her fingers over Bruce's knuckles.
"See, that's just the kind of bad behavior I was talking about, baby."
Batgirl smiles at Bruce's hand and taps the largest knuckle with her fingers. "Noted."
"I. I never want to remind you of your past, Jay," Bruce says, and he's leaning in a little, looking *real* earnest...
Jason
shakes his head again. "That's just it, B -- you're *part* of my past,
for better or worse. Anybody who took me out of that situation -- that
*life* -- would be, especially if they had to live with me right
after."
"You were never... I always saw your presence as a
gift. Every morning you were still here..." Bruce looks down at the
table and frowns. "I know I shouldn't have seen it that way, that it
had nothing to do with me --"
"It had *everything* to do with
you. I mean, Alfred was great, but I couldn't really *relate* to him.
You did everything you *could* to make it possible for me to relate to
*you*. And I'm not saying you were perfect or anything. You said some
things that made me twitch, pushed me harder than I wanted to be
pushed, but -- you were always there. I guess what I'm saying is that I
think I'm starting to appreciate what that must've been like for you,
how hard that had to be --"
"It was never hard to be your friend, Jason --"
"Even
with everything else you *wanted*? Seriously, I -- I can't see me
waking up when I'm your age and falling hard for some teenager, but
then I wonder what would've happened if that teenager was *Tim*, and I
kinda get a serious case of the cold sweats. Like maybe it isn't as
black and white as it *should* be... I don't know. I just... I need
you."
Bruce looks up again, and there's that hope, that
confusion and hunger and everything else that's maybe never going to
get very far away at all.
"Bruce..."
"Jay," Bruce says, and reaches across the table.
Jason
clasps their hands together and squeezes. "It's okay. And everything
that isn't is going to *be* okay, because we'll be handling it
together. Always."
"Always," and Bruce turns to Tim -- Jason
turns, and *she's* looking down and blushing, and maybe it's kind of
silly for both him and Bruce to reach out and take her hands, but it
doesn't feel that way.
Especially not when that tiny, quiet
smile shows up on her face and makes the thing inside Jason that
belongs only to *her* ache.
Bruce lets go first, squeezing
them both before pulling back and standing. He heads right for the
console, and that means it's time for both of them to do their
stretching and get to work. Clothes first, though, and Jason entertains
himself on the way to the lockers with thoughts of Tim working out
wearing nothing but a little tape on her wrists and ankles.
Tim
looks at him like she knows *exactly* what she's thinking, and that's
the best possible reason to pick her up and carry her the rest of the
way to the lockers, especially since none of her nerve strikes are
designed to hurt him badly enough to make him drop her.
"Yeah,
I know, I know," he says, and waggles her eyebrows at her. "Just
pretend I'm in a tux and you're in... I dunno, something fucking
gorgeous."
"And white, Jason?"
"Uh -- whoa?"
Tim
snickers and twists and flips out of his arms, fucking *sashaying* the
rest of the way to the lockers while he stands there probably looking a
lot like someone had taken a two-by-four to the back of his head.
"Hey, that... uh."
"Yes,
Jason?" She's pulling her workout clothes out, laying them neatly on
the bench, and Jason -- is pretty much stuck on white.
White shoes, white garters, white -- veil? "Uh?"
Tim
snickers a little more and pulls on a beat-up t-shirt -- she'd pulled
out a jock to work out in, which always makes Jason a *little* bit
relieved and --
"Uh. Wow. That was -- you *know* I'm gonna be thinking about that for a while, right? I mean -- you know I *would*."
And
she pauses with a pair of boxer-briefs on, the jock in her hand -- when
she looks up, her face is still laughing at him, but her eyes are soft.
"I recommend we table the discussion for a few years. Yes?"
"If you --"
"*Yes*?"
Jason
closes his eyes for a minute and just -- breathes. She's everything to
all the parts of him he can understand without needing to break his
brain. *Bruce* is everything to those other parts, and he gets that
now, but sometimes he has to wonder if anything would be easier if he
could just... cut himself a little bit.
Slice out everything
that doesn't make easy sense and just leave Tim's Jason, the one who
makes absolute perfect sense and would never make Alfred need to check
on him, never need Bruce to just keep *looking* at him, keep seeing him
and feeling him --
And there are other parts, too. He *knows*
that. The parts that are built on an anger he's never been able to
control, as opposed to being able to soothe it, a little. Feed it.
*Those* parts don't belong to either Tim or Bruce, and they wouldn't
want them, either --
"Jay...? I'm sorry if I -- I don't mean to joke --"
"No,
no," he says, opening his eyes and reaching for her hips, for the
grounding he always gets from bone and skin, warmth and *touch* --
"It's not -- I just got a little lost there, for a minute. It wasn't
about -- what you said."
She frowns and rests her hands on his shoulders. "Tell me...?"
("You make me... sometimes you make me. Worry.")
He
wants -- badly -- to brush her off a little, tell some lie about a
nasty memory, something that will make her just hug him and promise to
always be there -- he never wants to lie to her. "Just -- thinking
about last night. Patrol, that is."
"You were... you lost control."
And
you're supposed to *believe* me when I say I'll do better -- except
that he doesn't really believe himself. "I -- yeah. I figure, maybe,
Babs knows? And maybe Bruce is telling himself that I was just stressed
out about what I was planning to do with *him*..."
"It would
be a logical assumption," and her tone is cautious and quiet and *all*
about the fact that *she* knows that doesn't have shit to do with shit.
Jason sighs and strokes her hips. "Sometimes... I don't really
know where the anger comes from. It's just -- there. In me, and
sometimes it just builds and builds, but it does it *quietly*, you
know? I can't even feel it unless I'm thinking about it, like... I
don't know, remembering to wince when I'm getting blood drawn or
something."
"Harder than that, I'd think...?"
"Yeah.
Yes. That," Jason says, and thinks about all the times when he'd felt
*just* fine right up until the seconds before he was about to shove
some asshole's nose up into their brain. When he'd felt *better* than
fine, really, all cylinders firing and body made for exactly what it
was doing. So much so that he didn't really *need* to think, that
thinking would get in the way of doing what needed to be done.
"And... you don't know where it comes from, at all? You don't have... theories?"
That -- Jason snorts. "That sounds one fuck of a lot like you *do*, baby."
Tim winces a little and wraps her arms around his neck, pushing in close and rubbing her face against his shoulder.
He
used to think that it was only something she did when *she* needed
comfort, whether or not there were tears on her face to be wiped away
by what she was doing. He knows, now, that it's something deeper than
that, something that pretty much *defines* comfort for her, like maybe
she can press everything she has to give directly into Jason's skin --
She'd done it with Bruce, too, a little, and --
"I
love you," Jason says. "I love the way you feel and -- the way you
*feel*. I wish I could just... I never want to make you worry about me,
never want to make you scared or disappointed or anything like that."
"I know... that. I know you'd never hurt me," she says, and looks up at him. "If you could help it."
Once,
just once, she'd gotten between him and someone who really needed to be
hurt, a john who'd been beating and raping young prostitutes and
leaving them for dead in alleys. Probably it would turn out that the
guy had had really fucked-up parents, an abusive mother, a drunk or
absent father... something like that.
Something Jason had seen
countless times growing up and countless more since becoming Robin. The
first thing you learn is that *everyone* has a story, and that some
people can't get away from being the characters that story defined. But
Jason hadn't cared about that, and if he's honest with himself? He
still doesn't. The man was an asshole, total fucking *scum*, and he'd
needed to be *hurt*.
*That* time he *had* felt the anger
rising in him, and it had felt so good he'd actually gotten a little
hard. Which was just something else to be sick about *after* Tim had
gotten between Jason and the fucker. After he'd lashed *out*, and hurt
her.
Not much -- she'd probably only had to stretch a little more for a couple of days, and she hadn't been angry or scared --
The way she isn't angry or scared, now, even though she maybe should be. "Tim... sometimes it feels good."
"To hurt people? Well, *yes*, it's something we all have to --"
"To
*want* to hurt people," he says, and he's wincing, and -- she is, too.
"I like it. That feeling. It -- takes over everything. Nothing else is
important, nothing else can ever *be* important. I can do it slow or I
can do it fast -- it doesn't matter so long as I *do* it. And I know
that isn't --"
"You... ah. You make it sound a lot like sex."
"-- the. Uh." Jason frowns and forces himself to think about it -- it doesn't take much thought, at all. "Shit."
Tim nods and pushes her hands into his hair, tugging a little --
"I -- almost time to let Alfred at me with a pair of scissors --"
"Let me do it? I can. Um. Sometimes Barbara lets me," she says, and blushes.
Jason smiles, a little helplessly. Maybe desperately. "You do her hair?"
"She *hates* salons. She says spas are a different order of magnitude entirely, but -- yes. It's. I like it."
Jason
pulls her tighter against him and just feels her for a minute, looks
into her eyes past the worry and sees only -- love. "You're so good. To
me, for me, *with* me --"
"I wish. I wish I could be better."
"No, baby, I -- I use you too much --"
"You *don't*," she says, and yanks his hair *hard* --
"Okay, okay, but just -- listen, okay? You *distract* me from that thing inside me, that anger --"
"Not
enough, anymore, and that -- Jason, you have to." She bites her lip --
lets go and takes a breath. "Okay. Here it is. You know... a lot about
me. Probably more than anyone except for Barbara. You know about my
issues, and you've probably got some wonderful theories as to why
they're there. *Bruce* certainly does -- I don't want to get off
track."
"I'm listening, Tim."
She nods and bites her
lip again, looking down enough that Jason can *just* see her eyes
tracking fast, see her thinking and probably rejecting half a million
different ways to say what she wants to say -- "I. I've always
appreciated that you don't... shove my issues in my face. I know there
are things about the way I was raised --" Her breath hitches and she
*growls* --
"Tim, hey, you don't have to --"
"Bruce said
-- never mind what he said. I know that how I spent much of my
childhood plays a large role in why I am the way I am now, that's just
logical. *Human*. And I don't want to make you drag up any more bad
memories than you already have, but -- maybe you should. In your own
time," she says, and tugs on his hair again, lightly this time.
"You
think..." Jason frowns. "You're blaming my childhood? Seriously? I
thought you were going to come up with something random and devastating
about how I'm just -- I don't *know*. That's -- kind of the *point*."
"I know -- but. Jason, you had kind of a *bad* childhood, and it has to --"
"*Your*
parents left you to fend for yourself nine times out of ten. The way
you talk about them, the things Bruce has said, that *Babs* has said --
you didn't *have* fucking parents, and you're getting on me about
*mine*?"
Tim stiffens *hard*, face a *mask* --
Shit. *Shit*, where had that *come* from, he can't -- "Jesus, no, I'm sorry --"
"You're
*not*. And that's -- okay," she says, and steps back. "None of this was
ever supposed to be easy, and maybe. Maybe I'm not the one to talk to
about this, because, as you said --" The mask slips and her face
*twists*. "I'll just -- go train now."
Jason reaches out --
She blocks him *hard*, slipping into a ready position -- she laughs and it's *awful*, low and cracked.
"Tim, Jesus, I didn't mean to -- you've never *hurt* me, and I --"
"You
did exactly what I did, Jason," she says, standing straight and turning
to put her shorts on. Turning her *back* -- "So maybe we both have a
few unresolved issues. At least you turn yours on people who deserve
it."
That -- Jason bites back the growl, but -- "I don't have fucking -- I've *dealt* with my --"
"My mistake," she says, and pauses with her hand on the closed locker. "I don't want to -- I won't argue with you."
Leaving,
she -- she's cutting him *off*, cutting *this* off, and it's really not
-- Jason shakes his head. "Look, I don't -- maybe you *should* --"
"What
-- what are you *talking* about?" She turns back and she's looking at
him like he's *crazy*. "I said something that hurt you, you said
something that hurt *me*, and I think we should just *leave* it there
until we're both -- until we can *cope*."
"I need this," Jason
says, and he knows it's true because it fucking *hurts*, because it
makes him feel sick and desperate and fucking *greedy* -- "You. Bruce
never brought any of it up, either. Not the fact that my father was a
two-bit fucking *hood* and not the fact that my mother was a pro. It
was just *there*, and he never used it against me, never told me that I
needed to work to get over -- get *past* that -- fuck, baby, if it
wasn't true it *wouldn't* have hurt."
She narrows her eyes. "Meaning I should just go ahead and piss on my parents' memory just because they had lives of their own?"
Jesus -- "*No*, or --"
"Yes?" Tim shakes her head. "I can't *have* this conversation, Jason --"
"But
it's all right to throw it in *my* face just because you don't like it
when I make some asshole piss his pants?" Danger, fucking danger here
--
"It's the ones who'll need a *catheter* I'm more concerned about --"
"Like
you've never stomped some fucker's balls hard enough that he had a
fucking *rupture*? Sometimes I wonder if you hate your --" No. *No*. He
needs to fucking control himself, he needs --
"You wonder *what*, Jason? Say it."
"No. I'm not -- I don't --"
She
punches the locker hard enough to make the sound echo through the rest
of the *Cave*. "You *wanted* this conversation, so *say* what you were
going to say."
"It's not *true*, baby, I -- Jesus, I just lost control of my mouth for a second --"
"What *is* it?"
And
he knows, down fucking *deep*, that if he *doesn't* say it, she'll fill
in the blanks, herself. And if it *isn't* worse, it'll only be because
of dumb fucking *luck*. "Okay. Okay. I was going to say -- I wondered
if you didn't hate your junk so much you were going to make everyone
else pay for it. That you -- fuck, baby, I know you're not *like* that
--"
"Maybe I am," she says, and crosses her arms over her
chest. Taps her fucking *foot*. "Maybe I'm *just* that fucked up. I
sure begged for it, didn't I? A little fucking *punishment* --"
"Don't -- don't bring the sex into it --"
"The sex is *always* in it, Jason. Or -- well, maybe it wouldn't be if I could control myself a little better, but --"
"Tim,
*no*," and she blocks him again, again -- stops and lets him put his
hands on her shoulders. He hasn't felt her this tense in fucking
*ever*, but he's got his hands on her, and he can -- that's
*improvement*. "It's not about you. It's -- I *told* you that I don't
mind, that I love you just the way you *are*."
She stares --
*glares* at him for a long moment, and then she turns to the side,
breathing a little fast and *very* obviously getting control of
herself, again.
Jason squeezes her shoulders. "Baby..."
"I
just don't know how you..." She exhales sharply. "Look, it's -- I have
a *minefield* inside me, and we both know it. You know where a lot of
the mines are, and now I know that if I make you mad enough, you'll set
off one or two --"
"I'm *sorry*, I never --"
"Want to
hurt me. I know. But sometimes you can't control yourself, and *that's*
the point, right there. I love *you*, and --" She closes her eyes and
takes a deep breath, tilting her head back.
Bruises, old and
new, and Bruce hadn't left any when he was choking her, but he
*could've*. Maybe they wouldn't even show to the casual eye, not with
all the rest. She -- she *takes*, and she needs to do it, because --
'Because' is getting them in fucking *trouble*.
"Tim, look --"
"*You* look," she says, and turns to face him. There's a lot of the wrong kind of heat in her eyes, and --
Jason nods.
She
nods back. "Okay. You can't always control yourself. *That's* the point
I was trying to make. *I* think it has a lot to do with the fact that
you -- that things were *bad* for you for a very long time, and not all
of the bad happened after your mother got sick."
"I -- she wasn't my mother," Jason says, and feels something open up inside him, or maybe beneath him. Feels --
"What? What do you mean?"
"After...
after I moved in here, an old friend of -- the woman who raised me came
out of the woodwork. She was holding some of her things, papers and --
anyway. There were adoption papers in there. My real parents... I have
no idea who they are. Mostly I don't think about it. Mostly --
sometimes it really fucks me up, and I don't know why I'm telling you
this, now --"
"Maybe because you're looking for a reason not to think about the people who *did* raise you --"
"And maybe you're being a serious *bitch* right now, baby, Jesus --"
"I thought you *liked* it when I was a bitch, Jason," she says, and knocks his hands off her shoulders, turns --
Jason
growls and spins her back to face him -- and gets punched in the jaw.
It's not one of her show-stoppers, but it does a damned good job of
making her *point* --
"Robin. Batgirl. What's *wrong*."
Jason
freezes and watches Tim do the same. She's glaring at the floor and
he's glaring at *her* -- and Bruce looks pissed and worried at once.
She
hasn't hit him since the first few nights they were together, and it
was never -- she was never *angry* when she did it, before, and --
mother*fuck* --
"*Answer* me."
"We're having an argument --"
"Nothing,"
she says. "Nothing is wrong. It's just time for me to get out of here
before something *is* wrong," and she walks -- stalks -- around Bruce
and starts heading for the bikes.
There's something -- even when she's pissed and probably hurting like crazy, she still puts a little twist in her hips. She's.
She's
walking *away*, and that -- he can't let that happen. He moves to
follow -- and Bruce catches him by the shoulder. "Let *go*, B, I need
to --"
"What does *she* need?"
To -- no. No. He's not going there, and --
"*Jay*."
"To get the fuck away from *me*, but, Jesus, B, I can't let her just --"
"I'll talk to her --"
"You don't even know what the *problem* is --"
Bruce
squeezes Jason's shoulder hard enough to hurt. "There's only one thing
you haven't given her with all of yourself, and that's the full extent
of your past --"
"I *told* her --"
"There are things you haven't told yourself, Jay --"
And
maybe it's just the fucking *day* for them knocking each other around,
because he sure as fuck can't deal with Bruce's hand on his shoulder --
"*Don't* you fucking start. I have to *go* to her --"
"Like this?" Bruce's voice is so *quiet* --
And nothing about *him* is quiet, right now. His hands are clenched into fists and he's tense and -- *shit*. "Fine. Fucking --"
"Jason, I knew. About -- your mother."
"*What*? I -- I got rid of those fucking papers --"
"Not right away," Bruce says, and looks into Jason's eyes.
There's
a promise there, if he can stand to read it. If he can -- deal. Jason
closes his eyes. "Fine. We -- we'll talk. And maybe it'll go better --
go. Talk to her. *Keep* her here --"
"If she can bring herself to stay," Bruce says, and grips Jason's arm --
"*Go*. Before she --"
Bruce
lets go and jogs to follow Tim, and Jason -- Jason puts a fist-sized
dent in his locker door. God fucking *dammit*. Tim -- *both* of them,
and it's not like he doesn't know he had a shitty childhood, but all
the fucking *picking* --
He'd *told* Tim about the hustling,
and about his -- his *adoptive* father -- he'd told her *about* the
adoption and she'd just thrown it back in his *face*, after *thanking*
him for not doing that shit to her --
And he'd ripped her about
her useless shitbag parents, and about her *gender* issues, and then,
to top it off, he'd called her a bitch. Fucking wonderful. Fucking --
This
isn't supposed to come *out* of him unless he's on the damned street,
unless he doesn't have her there to make things okay, to make *him*
okay -- except that that hadn't worked last night, and he'd lost it out
there. *Twice*. She still shouldn't have --
He'd just wanted to
*talk*, because maybe she *did* have the right idea about some of this
stuff, but her issues had gotten in the way, and she'd lashed out, and
--
He can fucking *diagram* it, A leading to B leading to C,
but it still feels exactly like that punch -- hard and out of
*nowhere*. They're supposed to be *better* than this. They *are* better
than this, and he just has to convince her of that. He just --
He'll
do *something*, because she *can't* leave, because as much as Barbara
likes him, he's nowhere near as important to her as Tim is, and that's
the way it *should* be, but -- he can't. He and Bruce barely ever even
*see* the Birds. They get sent all over the damned *world*, and Barbara
would snatch Tim in a fucking *heartbeat*. She probably has the jewelry
all made for her, and.
Fuck, Tim had been talking about
*marrying* him. Joking about it, sure, but there had been something
real there, something true and just *right*. She loves him and he loves
her --
He should've let her end the conversation. He should've
apologized and held onto her until she relaxed in his arms, and then
they could've worked it all out in a spar, and everything would've been
fine. Sure, he'd still have his own fucking minefield, but Tim is the
most careful person he knows. She'd *never* trip things by accident,
and.
And the next time he lost it on the streets, there'd be
something in her eyes. Something deep and dark and scared, and it would
be all about him, and. The things he hasn't told her.
Told
*himself* -- but that's fucking *bullshit*. He's never been able to do
a damned thing to keep from thinking about things he didn't want to
think about. If he *had*, he would've had a lot more fun the first few
months after moving *in* here with his brand new life and brand new --
father.
Jason snorts to himself and sits on the bench, just --
he gives himself a little while to put his face in his hands, to kinda
float past the *edges* of this *giant* fucking *fuckup*. Bruce can't
fix this. He can't even fix *himself*. If he could, Jason wouldn't know
*exactly* what his dick tastes like, and Tim wouldn't have a sore
mouth, and --
If he could stop *needing*, just for a fucking
*minute*. If he could not think about the way Bruce is probably
touching Tim right now, about how she'd let him soothe her, one way or
another. Hey, maybe he's fucking *choking* her again --
"Oh, God."
No.
It was *good* less than an hour ago. They were laughing and joking
together, talking shit about the Superlibido and just -- *together*.
They can *do* that, and never mind the fact that they probably
shouldn't be able to do anything of the kind. He -- he needs to deal,
full stop.
'In your own time,' she'd said, being gentle,
trying to make it *easy* on him, because she knows him, and knows that
there are parts of his life --
*His* parents had fucking
*tried*. There was no money, there was *never* any money, so they'd
done what they had to do. And yeah, maybe his father would've done
better not to get fired from job after job, and maybe his mother -- she
*was* his mother -- could've finished high school instead of --
How
the *hell* had he *been* adopted, anyway? What kind of agency would've
let that happen? No, it would've had to be private, an arrangement
between friends, or at least acquaintances. Who had his mother *known*?
Was it another pro?
Had he handed his real mother a card with Leslie's name on it some night or another? Had Bruce? Dick?
Bruce
*knew* about it, had gone through Jason's things and found it, maybe
one of the nights when Jason had stayed out until dawn, looking for
somebody to hit -- or had he known before? He'd *said* he'd known about
Jason's father, had planned to check on Jason and his mother -- or. It
would've had to come out when Bruce was pulling out all the fucking
*stops* to adopt him. Wouldn't it?
Would Bruce keep it from him
if he knew who Jason's real mother was? He can't -- he can't *see*
that, but there are a lot of fucking things about Bruce he hadn't let
himself see, for a lot of *years*.
Jesus, who *is* he? And
just -- he'd been willing to *go* with still being Jason Todd, still
being *himself*, but... hadn't he just kind of *demanded* that of
himself with no real internal argument, at all? Hadn't he just --
And
possibly the worst thing about this is that he knows Tim was right
about the motivations *under* the fucking motivations. That, in the
end, finding out he was adopted had been a real fucking good *excuse*
to stop thinking about all the other fucked-up things. Finding out that
Two-Face had murdered the man who'd raised him, his mother dying of
fucking AIDS -- and he's never talked about that with anyone, never --
Babs
getting shot. His father lying on some M.E.'s slab with two slugs in
his brain. His father sitting at the kitchen table when he got home
from school, a beer in one hand and the sports page in the other.
Stealing food from bodegas and half-hoping to get caught, because
there'd be a *meal* in it. Learning to suck cock and learning to do it
well enough to get it over with as fast as possible. His mother, and
how much fucking pain she was in, how completely unrecognizable she was
at the end, sores running into each other and skin yellow where it
wasn't blackening with --
With --
Oh, yeah, he'd dealt
with *all* of that, and gotten himself trained to be the best fucking
*Robin* he could be, knowing full well that, when it gets right down to
it, *Robin* can't do shit to help the kids like him --
Jason digs the heels of his hands in against his eyes and doesn't make a sound, doesn't say *one* fucking word.
Bruce is talking to Tim, getting her to stay -- *if* she can handle it -- and maybe it really would be better if she couldn't.
Babs
has never *hurt* her. Babs has the control to keep her shit to herself,
to *actually* deal with her issues... except for how she's been shut up
alone in that Clocktower for years, and pretty much never goes out,
anymore, unless her father drags her to a party --
Fuckups. He
was right the *first* time. He just hadn't really taken into account
how much of a fuckup *he* was. Is. And maybe he can understand Tim a
little better right now, because, yeah, it *is* all obvious if you
think about it. *He's* obvious, and he fucking *hates* it. Some mystery
and a few shadows would be *great* right now.
He needs -- he needs, and none of what he needs is *here*.
Jason
throws on the first workout clothes that come to hand and heads back
out into the Cave proper -- and yeah, Bruce and Tim are over by the
cars and bikes, talking.
*Bruce* is talking, hand on Tim's
shoulder. Tim's looking down at the ground and either listening or --
tolerating. He can see her tension from here, and he can't --
He needs.
He
forces himself to relax as much as he can before walking over, evening
out his breathing and releasing the tension, remind himself not to curl
his hands into fists unless he plans on *using* them, which he
absolutely fucking *doesn't* --
He's still about thirty yards
away when she looks up, feeling him -- she frowns and turns to Bruce,
and Bruce turns back to frown at him.
Jason raises his hands
and walks a little slower, watching them wait for him, watching Tim
maybe trying to decide if he's worth it. It's *something* to know that
Bruce won't give up on him, to have that kind of *surety* --
helplessness and a lack of freedom, right. Wishing Tim to be that kind
of fucked up for him just makes him even lousier a person, but he's
still doing it.
He stops when he's close enough for her
to hit him again, and -- she's really not going to say anything. Bruce
won't, either. "I'm sorry," he says, and keeps his hands up. "I was --
I was out of line, taking shit out on you just because you were there,
and that's -- I never want to do that. I don't want to be that guy."
If
anything, Tim looks even *harder* than she had before he started
talking, and -- yeah. She knows that already. She *knew* that, and he'd
done it anyway --
Jason shakes his head. "I figured -- you
were right. There's. I *really* like to tell myself that there's
nothing about my past I haven't dealt with, that I'm as healthy as I
can get, as anyone could expect me to get --"
"Jason," she says,
and crosses her arms over her chest again. "I'm. I'm sorry I -- you
tried to confide in me, and I. Threw it right back at you. That was
wrong."
"You were trying to make a point, and I -- I get
that," Jason says, and thinks about reaching out for her -- she's
watching his hands like maybe they'll do just that and she'll have to
strike out again. He drops his hands to his sides, instead. "So...
mostly I'm sorry I wasn't listening to you. That's -- that's what it
boils down to."
Her mouth looks *pinched*, but -- she nods, and squeezes her arms together a little more tightly.
"Can we -- start over? Try again?"
"I
think -- I still think I should give you a little space, Jason," she
says, and for a moment all Jason wants is for her to call him Jay
again, to do it the way she always does, like she's taking a
*privilege* and can't help herself, besides.
Jason bites the inside of his lip and searches her face a little more, looking for something soft, something he can *touch* --
"It's -- we were bound to have a fight, eventually. Though I didn't think I would -- I'm sorry I hit you."
"Uh
-- I was putting my hands on you when you didn't want it, baby. You --
I think you're supposed to hit me when that happens."
"I could've -- I should've told you to stop," she says, and looks at Bruce again --
Bruce is nodding, and -- he really doesn't have a *say*.
Jason reaches out -- stops.
She smiles ruefully and punches his knuckles with her own before crossing her arms again.
"It's just -- Tim, I don't think you were wrong. For doing that. I was pissed, and I still am, a little, but not about that."
She tilts her head back a little -- nods again. "What *are* you pissed about? Exactly."
He
thinks about reaching *out*, but it's still not the right time for it,
and maybe that's why both of them think she should be going now,
because Jason doesn't think he's going to last much longer *just* being
able to see her -- he takes a breath. "Mostly -- mostly the stuff about
my mother. My... real mother. Biological mother, whatever."
She
looks at Bruce again, but only for a moment before she nods. "I was
angry, but I still knew that you were telling me something important,
something that should've made me listen before opening my mouth. If you
want to... If you ever want to try talking about that to me again, I
promise to do better."
Do better. This is all *about* doing
better, and how she doesn't think he *can* -- "Uh. I'm also angry that
you don't. Believe in me."
Her eyes get *wide* and she shakes her head -- "Jay --"
"Yeah,
*that*. I like it when you call me that, and -- fuck, baby, I know you
*believe* in me, but I also know that you don't trust me to fucking
cope on the streets, right now."
And Bruce kind of *shifts*,
like maybe there's something he *wants* to say to that, but Bruce had
also kind of fucking *ditched* him, training-wise -- No, *he's* going
to do better, and Jason knows it, but... it's been a *long* damned time
with Bruce shoving him at Batgirl when Jason was twisted up in his
head. *Babs* was still Batgirl when it started, so -- still not his
place, and --
Tim isn't saying anything, and she's not saying it really fucking loudly, because, yeah, he'd hit the nail on the head.
Jason
scrubs a hand back through his hair. "So... I'm angry about that. I'm
more experienced than you are, I'm *older* than you are, and part of me
says that means you don't get to decide when I'm good enough and when
I'm not."
Tim swallows and nods, once.
"But I know
you, baby, and I know you'll work with me and help me as much as you
can, and you'll have my *back* -- and you'll do it even when you think
-- when you *know* I'm out of control, because that's just who you are.
And part of me is mad about *that*, because you *shouldn't* be like
that --"
"Jason -- Jay. I. I'll keep trying. Keep pushing.
Because I don't want --" She looks at Bruce again and frowns hard
before looking down at the floor between them. "I don't want to see
your eyes the day you slip too far and kill someone."
It
would've been so, so easy to kill Garzonas. And there are times. "I
don't. I don't think about it too much, but sometimes I wonder if I was
too slow to catch him on purpose. I felt. I felt the wind from his
fingertips against my own, and -- I'm still not sorry he's dead. I
don't think I ever will be."
Another shift from Bruce, and -- he steps back. He doesn't want to hear this. He doesn't want to *know* this, but --
"Bruce, stay. You need to hear this," Jason says, and wraps his hand around Bruce's wrist --
"Jay -- I don't know that there is anything I could say, or do --"
"I
know you don't. But you can't just -- not know this about me. It
doesn't work that way," and Jason looks up at him, maybe begs him a
little with everything behind his own eyes --
And something *falls* behind Bruce's own, or -- maybe he just slumps, a little --
"Man, I fucking hate seeing you *defeated*, B --"
"Jay, I -- I never knew exactly what happened on that balcony. I couldn't trust myself to know you --"
"As
opposed to loving me? Yeah, see, *I* thought, back then, that you just
plain didn't trust *me*, and that maybe you shouldn't. I *wanted* him
dead, Bruce. I -- not even Gordon getting shot over that was enough to
make me stop being glad that he'd never hurt another woman --
"I know. That --" Bruce twists his wrist in Jason's grip, but Jason is *not* letting go.
Just
-- one of them has to let him *touch* -- oh, God, is he really that --
Jason hears himself making a fucking *noise* and forces himself to let
go --
Bruce puts his hands on Jason's shoulders and turns him. "I never. I could never judge you for your *desires*, Jason --"
"Neither
could I," Tim says, and her arms are still crossed, but her eyes are...
open. That's the only word Jason can think of for it, except maybe for
*willing*, and the space between them still feels fucking awful, but
it's *less* awful. Maybe enough to let him... let him.
Jason
laughs softly, and knows the volume doesn't do a thing to hide the
sickness in it. "So what you're both saying is that you're *okay* with
the fact that I'm murdering these fuckers in my head every damned night
--"
"It's not every night," Tim says --
"You don't *know* that --"
"We
do," Bruce says, and squeezes his shoulders. "You've always been...
it's not that I've never seen your anger, Jay. I've always seen it,
from the first moment I saw *you*. It felt like something I could -- it
was something I could understand, and feel. It was *familiar*, and all
the better because I didn't have to fight it in myself. I've used you,
lived *through* you --"
"Jesus. *Jesus*, B, I." Jason shakes his head again. "You're... what? You *wanted* me to be this angry?"
And Bruce closes his eyes, looks -- fucking *rough* --
"You're
his partner," Tim says, quiet and calm. "You already know how much that
means, Jay, how much it *changes* things. He wanted to be able to live
*in* you, not really through. He thinks... well," and Tim's smile is
small and rueful. "He loves you *exactly* the way you are, even though
it causes you pain. And he hates himself for that."
Bruce squeezes Jason's shoulders again, and his eyes are still closed, and --
Fucking hell. "So maybe I *shouldn't* be loving you so much, baby?"
"I'd
never change the way you feel about me, no matter how problematic it
gets. There's a certain sort of relief -- it's possible I mean
*release* -- in knowing that I'll always have your touch, Jay. Whether
or not I can stand it."
And that was nothing but honest, and
so it's time to cope. Especially since Bruce's eyes are open again, and
he *isn't* pleading, but it looks a lot like that's only true because
he doesn't think he has the right to. "Bruce, I... I was thinking, just
a few fucking *minutes* ago, about how I was grateful for how you feel
about me, because I needed it. I need it. Okay?"
Bruce nods and -- touches Jason's neck with his thumbs. It's not quite a stroke, but it's there, and... it's there.
Jason
nods and reaches up to move Bruce's hands, squeezing them a little
before turning enough that he can look at both of them easily. "That's
my issue. I'm angry, and I'm angry about being angry, and I'm angry at
Bruce for letting me *stay* angry, even though there's nothing he
could've done about it. And I don't want to think about it, because it
gets in the way of all the good things I have right now and all the
good things I *can* have, that *we* can have, and I can't -- I don't
want to deal. Because part of being me is being pissed the fuck off, I
guess? Maybe."
They both nod, *almost* in time with each
other, and it's not that funny, but Jason still has to laugh a little.
Tim raises an eyebrow.
"Your turn, baby. Why are *you* angry? Because I think I can guess, but --"
"It
boils down to the fact that the three people I care most about in this
world -- the ones who are *alive* -- seem convinced that I should be
writing off the ones who are dead. That I shouldn't be grieving for
them --"
"Not that," Bruce says --
"Baby, *no*, your grief -- you're *supposed* to grieve --"
Tim
holds up a hand. "Fine. I'll stipulate that you both believe there's
nothing wrong with the fact that I am grieving. In retrospect, I should
have... allowed room for that within the construct I'm in the process
of building. But both of you -- and Barbara -- have made it abundantly
clear that you have no respect for the people who raised me, for the
people who are responsible for my *existence* --" Tim frowns and stares
at the floor again.
Her hand is still up, so Jason keeps his *mouth* shut, but -- what would he say if it wasn't?
He looks at Bruce, but he's doing that thing where there might as well *be* a shadow hiding his face -- he waits.
"So,"
she says, and looks at both of them again. "You didn't know them. *You*
never so much as *met* them, Jay, and Bruce? You were too busy
pretending to be a moronic playboy to. To." Tim kind of *coughs* out a
laugh, smiles like someone *that* surprised to be *shot* --
"Tim, baby..."
"Do
*not* reach for me. Just -- don't," she says, and covers her face,
scrubs at it with her hand -- drops it and glares at them. "You didn't
*know* them. My father -- he built a multi-million dollar business from
*nothing*. My mother helped him, *ran* the business while he was
getting his MBA, and then they switched off. They never wanted a child,
I -- I know that. But they had me, anyway, and they made sure I was
never hungry, never cold or. They showed me the *world* with their
videos and stories. They made sure I spoke multiple languages fluently.
They *loved* each other, and they loved me, too. I *know* that, and --
no. No. I'm not going to try to *justify* them to you, because neither
of you *deserve* that. It's not for *you*, and the sooner you both
realize that, the *happier* we will all be. Do you *understand*."
"It was never my place to judge them, Tim," Bruce says. "I have no excuse for having done so."
Can
he get away with a 'what he said?' Probably -- really fucking not.
Jason sighs and curls the hand he isn't reaching for her with into a
loose fist. "You never. You never actually said anything bad about my
parents. The fact that I *heard* you saying it -- well, you didn't. I
know *why* I lashed out like that, but it was still wrong to. Do it
that way."
She narrows her eyes, and Jason bites back --
*fights* back -- a wince. No way was she going to miss that fucking
weasel, and --
"Okay, wait, let me try again, baby --"
"What."
Okay,
so the wince is coming out no matter what. Jason sighs and raises his
hands again. "I'm -- I'm just going to be honest here for a minute,
okay? Because that's what *you* deserve, and it's just -- I never want
to lie to you."
She closes her eyes for a moment and nods.
"Everything
I've heard about them, everything I *know* about them says that no
matter who they were as *people*, they didn't do right by you. And
that's the most important thing to me, Tim. That's -- it matters more
than anything, because I love you, and I can't fucking stand to think
of you not having the best of everything possible --" Unless it
involves you moving *away* from me --
And Tim *heard* that, or felt it, because her eyes are narrow and she's starting to look a little angry again --
Jason
makes a pushing gesture with his hands. "Easy, I -- I just tripped over
the fact that I have -- that there's an exception there. I don't want
you to go. I never, *never* want you to go, even if that would *be* the
best thing for you. I -- okay?"
She stares at him -- into him -- for a moment, and -- "Go on."
"Okay.
Just -- you're right. I didn't know them, and there are probably a lot
of things they did for you that I just haven't found out about." But
you would've mentioned it if they had, because you're *you*, and if
even *Babs* is saying this stuff -- "It's. It's like Bruce said. It's
not my place, and I'm sorry. I definitely shouldn't have thrown it at
you like that just because you fucking *hinted* that maybe I wasn't
dealing as much with my past as I thought I was."
She keeps
staring for kind of a while, and then she looks at Bruce, who nods.
"All right. I'm still angry, and I'm probably going to *be* angry for a
while, but -- all right."
Jason blows out a breath. "And I'm
*going* to think about it. My past, in my own time, like you said. I
promise. Do you still... want space?"
"I -- less of it." Tim's
smile is wry and kind of twisted, but it's there, and that's enough to
let Jason reach, palm out -- She presses her palm against his own,
pauses, and twines their fingers together.
Warm, *hard* hand, holding his tight. "Thank you. I really -- I needed this."
She nods and squeezes him before pulling back. "Let's train."
"Yeah," Jason says, and rubs his thumb against his palm for a moment. "I'll just start with my run --"
"Wait," she says, and the twisted smile is back --
"Yeah, baby?"
"I thought we could -- together. Outside."
Jason raises his eyebrows. "Sunlight and everything?"
"Presumably. *I* haven't looked outside, yet --"
"It's warm and sunny," Bruce says, and smiles at both of them. "The two of you should enjoy it."
"Cool. So... a little later, Tim?"
She nods. "Bruce attempted to entice me to stay with the offer of learning a few new moves. It mostly worked."
Jason snorts. "*That* was your strategy, B?"
"I
confess I was at something of a loss," he says, and rests his hand on
Tim's shoulder. "It was that or offer to let her under the hood of the
car."
"Also a reasonable ploy," she says, and -- casually -- brushes his hand away before looking up at him. "The mats?"
Bruce
nods, and he doesn't *look* troubled about that little brush-off, but
Jason would bet that he is, and -- well. If the only thing she could
stand from him was holding hands for a minute... yeah.
Now
Jason *knows* -- nothing can *be* too bad if she's letting him touch
her. If she *isn't*... well, if he doesn't know what's wrong, he'd
better learn it fucking quick.
Jason backs off and goes to
tape his hands. One day, punch-therapy isn't going to work for him,
but, until that day, he's going to use the fuck out of it.
He
watches them move to the mats out of the corner of his eye, and places
a mental image of the kid he used to be right at uppercut level. He's
hollow-eyed and scared, but he's never going to let anyone know that if
he can help it. He's dirty and hungry and *pissed*, and only the last
thing is worth doing anything about -- no.
Being angry is the
*only* thing the kid can do anything about or anything *with*. He's got
nothing and no one, and so he tells himself that it's just fine, that
it's better that way. And really, so what if he's angry? The world is a
shithole, crawling with the worst kinds of vermin. Angry is the only
way *to* be, because if you stop for even a minute, you maybe remember
all the other feelings, the ones that don't do you a damned bit of
good.
*Angry* lets you survive if you don't think about it too
hard, lets you make it one more night. It covers you up all over so
nothing can touch you -- and there's nothing this kid *wants* to touch
him, not now that he's alone, anyway. And he's going to *be* alone,
because that's just how it works, right?
That's what's inside him. That kid. This kid. Everything else is built right on top of him, and Jason would think --
Jason
had thought, with the little part of his brain that he ever let *near*
the kid, that all that everything would smother the kid, a little,
crush him up small and tight until there might as well have been
nothing there. All it would take is a little more time. Good food, good
work, good *partner* -- and the girl of his dreams to round off
everything nice and smooth.
It's just that it didn't work that
way, not for him, and maybe not for anyone who actually survived long
enough to get something like free of the streets. Of that *life* --
About
a hundred yards behind him, his partner and his girl are trying out new
and interesting ways to damage people that they'll never, ever use
unless they have to. They're together, and Bruce will be doing
everything he can to make things better for Tim. Because he loves her,
and maybe needs her now as much as he needs Jason.
As much as Jason needs both of them.
Right
now, they're not thinking of Jason at all, probably. But he'd lay money
that they're thinking of *that* kid. The whole lot of nothing in his
eyes, the rage that keeps him warm because nothing else can.
The things he can make Jason do.
It
was never about Garzonas, or about any of the other assholes he'd hurt
a little too much, or *let* get hurt a little too much. They were just
there, as convenient as Tim had made herself today for the *kid*, for
that *thing* inside him which really needs to --
Go away? Die?
What happens when all of this falls apart, one way or another? That kid
is *survival*, pure and simple, and it's not like he's living the
safest fucking life in the world, here. People leave and people *die*.
He's known that for years. One day some fucker is gonna get lucky and
Bruce is gonna get dead.
One day Tim's going to figure out
that she's *worth* someone who'll *never* hurt her -- she's got Babs
and the Birds to *help* her with that -- and she'll be gone. Maybe with
a punch, but probably with a kiss, because she loved him once, and
wouldn't want him to hurt more than was *strictly* necessary.
People
don't *last*, especially when it's good and warm and sweet, so doesn't
he need that kid? Just for a rainy fucking *day*? Isn't it a little
fucking *much* for them to *ask* him to ditch this kid?
What
do *they* know about having a choice between going down or going
hungry? Or, hey, maybe a nice group home where he could be robbed and
raped for free. They don't know *shit* about that life, and they never
will, so how fucking *dare* they --
They --
So maybe
the eyes on that kid aren't hollow, at all. Maybe they're narrow and
just a little sly. He's a *survivor*, and maybe that's *all* he can do,
but he's really *fucking* good at it. But...
He's had tough opponents before.
Jason nods at the kid smirking at him from the weave of the bag.
And then he starts throwing punches.
*
"No,"
Bruce says, and taps her forearm with two fingers. "Stop trying to use
the power you don't have instead of the precision you do."
Tim
nods and frowns internally. They're still on the first strike when, by
now, she should at least be perfecting the second. She was *trying* for
speed more than power, but she has to admit that she was missing with
both. It's just a *nerve* strike, and even Barbara had said that she
was good at those, that she was all but *made* for them --
"Again," Bruce says, and this time she knows she's flubbed it before he says a word.
"I -- again?"
"Tim..."
Bruce's voice is gentle, soft and -- horrifically inviting.
*Welcoming*, when she'd hurt Jason, let *herself* go too far --
When Jason had told her *exactly* what he thought, and never mind how much of it he had taken *back* --
She
needs to get her head back into the game, her *self* back in some kind
of order, and not just because Bruce is looking at her like the only
thing he wants to do is talk. She's had -- too much of this. Too much
time to let all the weaker, softer parts of herself run *rampant* --
the image is of a flood of some thick, awful *syrup*, pouring over
everything, getting *into* everything --
She growls and
assumes the ready position once more, deliberately relaxing everything
about herself until she's *only* this. Not Tim, and not really Batgirl,
either -- unless Batgirl could ever be considered a weapon belonging to
someone else --
Bruce puts his hand on her shoulder, and that's okay. That's -- she's just a weapon, now, and weapons need to be guided --
"I will stipulate that I've hardly the right to judge such things, but just the same -- this isn't healthy, Tim."
She's
asked for -- all but *begged* for -- *just* this level of assumed
intimacy with Bruce. She's pushed for it and flirted, teased, *taken*
-- and shown him nothing but enjoyment. Her *pleasure*, which is
something Bruce has proven himself to be deeply interested in, for all
that he's in love with Jason and not her --
"Please. Would you. Would you talk to me?"
Tim
winces and fights it back as much as she can. The urge to tighten her
mouth and turn its corners down, to narrow her eyes and to, most of
all, *flinch* from the touch to her shoulder, the warmth of it --
"I
told Jason that I would only try to keep you here if you thought it was
best, but if you're going to merely stand here pretending that you're
not still angry, still hurt --"
"I *said* I was still angry,"
Tim says, standing straight and -- brushing Bruce's hand from her
shoulder. "I'm not -- in any sort of denial."
Bruce raises an
eyebrow at her, but nods. "Then -- for the sake of *efficiency*, Tim --
tell me why you're fighting so hard to deny the feeling. Or... are
other feelings crowding --"
"*Yes*, I -- look, maybe we should
save this for another time. I'll be fine on the bars, and I need to do
something that will work me at least a little --"
"Distraction
through exertion is a valid -- and valued -- coping mechanism in this
house, but not one to which I'd have you become accustomed."
*That* -- Tim crosses her arms over her chest, again --
"I
find it fascinating, as an aside, that you choose that position to
express your deepest anger," Bruce says, and traces a line just beyond
the bend of her right arm. He doesn't *touch*, but it's deeply --
enervating.
Just the same. "Bruce --"
"Some would say
it implies a desire for control over your own movements -- even more
than it implies a desire to comfort oneself. Do you find yourself
*very* close to striking out at me?"
Closer by the *second* --
no. Bruce has done nothing but try to make things better for her and
Jason, and it wouldn't do to forget that, no matter how *irritating* --
"You might at least consider allowing me the space to *feel* the
emotions I'm currently beset with, Bruce. I've heard that that's the
*healthy* thing to do," she says, and fixes him with a glare she'd
learned from Barbara --
It makes him raise an eyebrow and
reach out again, this time to where she's cupping her left elbow with
her right hand. Again, he doesn't *touch*, but --
"Look, *Bruce*, this morning has been something of a roller coaster. I think you can agree with that...?"
He nods, and she nods back.
"Good. So -- give me time. *Room*."
"Happily -- on one condition."
She *doesn't* snarl. "You are *not* my teacher in any way save the practical, nor are you my partner --"
"But
I have become your -- other -- lover, Tim, and I would... I find that I
need your contentment, if not your happiness," Bruce says, and this
time -- his hand is on her face, tilting it up so that she has to meet
his eyes --
His eyes are *full*, open and worried and hungry
and a dozen other things at *once*. Tim takes a deep breath and resists
the urge to move closer, the attendant urge *to* strike, if only with
her words -- Bruce has done *nothing* to her but ask -- *demand* --
"What is it, Bruce. I -- your condition."
And he smiles, a
curve of the mouth that *implies*, and yes, *also* demands -- "Talk to
me. Of inconsequential things, if you'd prefer. I'm not Jason -- I
believe that I could survive your choosing to spend the day with
Barbara instead of with us, but I would not do very well, at all, with
watching you spend the day tearing at yourself within the privacy of
your mind."
"You don't -- I wasn't."
If anything, his
smile gets a little wider. "You're usually a better liar, Tim," he
says, and strokes her cheek with his thumb. "Though I suppose I could
be projecting. If Jason had said those sorts of things to me --"
"He *didn't*," she says, and it's a growl more than it's speech, but it's understandable *enough* --
"No, he didn't. You touched him where he was most... raw, and he lashed out. You know precisely how he feels about that --"
"I know what he *said*. He -- he meant it. Some of it. *Enough* of it --"
"You never say things you don't mean, Tim?"
"It's
not *that* difficult to control one's speech. I -- I say things at the
wrong times, and in the wrong ways, and sometimes I say things which
never should be said at all, but --"
"But you would never lie to Jason -- save, perhaps, for those times when he asks you how you're feeling...?"
It
has become something like an act of will not to knock Bruce's hand
away, not to turn into it and hide, not to go for his eyes again, even
knowing that he'll see the move coming and be able to deflect it,
possibly throw her again -- hard enough to knock the breath from her
body, the thoughts from her *head* --
*Jason*. Jason, who
thinks she hates her own body, who has no reason *not* to think it.
Jason, who knows how much that *affects* her, and who knows exactly how
to hurt her, how to. He'd called her a bitch, and she was one. She *is*
one, and isn't it really only dumb luck that she had, up to that point,
only been one in the ways he found entertaining? She'll hurt him,
again, one day. It will just come out, and whatever she says will be
true enough to make him *bleed* --
And a part of her will find
that satisfying. *Correct* -- even as the rest of her is sick and
terrified and -- *sick*. She's not --
He loves her, and she
knows it. It's a solid knot of a thing inside her, the pea under her
mattress, or -- something else just that small and just that
undeniable. He *loves* her, but that isn't enough to stop him from --
To keep her from *making* him --
"Tim."
An
order, if a quiet one. Bruce has had years to grow accustomed to
command and everything that comes with it, but *she* doesn't belong to
that particular framework. She has her *own*, and maybe if she'd gone
to Barbara and *stayed* there --
Bruce presses with his
fingertips, just hard enough to *suggest* pain, and really... really.
Tim laughs, softly, and meets his eyes again. He wants inconsequential
things from her? All right. "Whose decision was it to give me a woman's
bedroom suite?"
"Alfred's," Bruce says, and loosens his grip. He's still searching her, but really -- *let* him look.
Let
him see what he can't touch -- Tim doesn't close her eyes, and she
certainly doesn't squeeze them shut. But she can't keep herself from
thinking about what it had been like to fall asleep in his bed, to give
him that.
To give it to herself, and perhaps that's one of the
things Bruce is finding on her face or behind her eyes, because he
starts to stroke her face again, gentle and slow.
"You didn't question his decision?"
"I've
learned that such things are far more trouble than they're worth, Tim,"
and a great deal of what's behind those words is a warning that she
would be far better served by feeling the same way than she would be by
striking out in her own direction.
There's nothing to that she
can't agree with. Alfred is a man-shaped institution, going by
everything Barbara has said, over the years, and -- what else? "Which
outfit is your favorite of the ones you've chosen for me?"
Bruce smiles again, and something like a tease flashes briefly in his eyes. "I've only seen you in one of them."
She
could try to deny the thing inside her which *only* wants to respond to
that tease in kind, but that would only make Bruce try harder, right
now, and she can't really --
Right now, Jason is punishing the
hell out of the heavy bag, following it and moving, always moving.
Light on his feet in the way he only seems to manage when he's *not*
thinking about it, when all he's doing is living in his body.
*Jason*
-- is managing to do something useful, while she is only standing here
being petted, being *gentled* like some damned *horse* to Bruce's
touch, when all she wants is to be alone, to have time to make herself
better --
("You're no good to anyone.")
Pressure on her
cheek, the faintest hint of actual pain -- "Bruce. You can't just -- I
find behavioral psychology to be problematic at *best*."
"I suppose I shouldn't implement my program of small, direct electric shocks, then."
Tim swallows back the laugh and looks down at the floor, feels herself *blushing* and tries -- tries.
"Tim. Small things. Not every conversation must be meaningful."
"And yet that's what you'd rather *have*," she says, and catches her breath. "You want me to just -- bare my *soul* to you --"
"I'd
rather attempt to take the things which hurt you, though that would be
easier if you would show me where they are --"
"You
*know* where they are -- I." Tim takes a deep breath and looks up
again, searches him and finds *patience*, desire and hurt -- "It's the
need in you that attracts, more than anything else. I could probably
talk all day about your physical attractiveness, your generosity, your
brilliant mind -- and certainly all of those things are compelling --
but, in the end, you're *needy*. Grasping and hungry, demanding even
when your conscious mind fights against being anything of the kind. You
*hurt*, Bruce --"
"And so," he says, "do you." And he moves
his hand from her face -- he strokes her forehead and her eyebrows, the
cheek he'd been neglecting and her chin. "Though I would not say that
the pain and need in you attract more than your other qualities."
"I --"
"It is, perhaps, the same level of attraction."
She
is, of course, blushing again. Perhaps it's something she'll grow out
of... at around the same time she starts needing to shave her face, and
no, she's not going to think about that, at all. "I. Try not to be
demanding."
"You drive Jason to greater and greater heights of creativity in his efforts to make you be so."
She
*forces* him -- she grips her elbows and resists the urge to look down
again. "I never want to make things difficult for him. Not in any --
real way."
"And Batgirl isn't real?"
"I. All right, I phrased that the wrong way. I never want to make things difficult for him in ways he won't *enjoy*."
Bruce
nods and touches her beneath her ear. The slightest pressure -- and a
stroke down the side of her throat. "We're moving away from the
inconsequential."
Tim feels the smile twitch itself on and off
her face. "So we are. I can't -- I don't think I'll be able to stop
thinking about the things he said."
"You take all criticism directly to heart, whether or not that criticism is well meant."
"As
that was, Bruce...?" She tilts her head to the side. "How do you deal
with it? How do you keep from... tearing at yourself?"
Bruce's smile is slow and lingering, but more sweet than sharp. "Do you truly need to ask?"
The hollow in Bruce, the *need* -- "No. No, I suppose I don't. But. Why -- how is it that you can keep *touching* me?"
Bruce looks -- surprised. And somewhat incredulous, and --
All
right, she's blushing harder, now. "No, not -- I meant... you clearly
feel a *need* to touch me. If you were still trying to offer comfort,
you'd still be gripping my shoulder, perhaps resting a hand on my arm
--"
"Assuming, of course, that you made your arms available for anything of the kind --"
Tim
waves a hand -- and gets surprised by the *relief* of not keeping that
arm folded anymore. It's purely physical, and it implies a great deal
about the pressure she was holding on to herself with. All right. She
lets her arms drop to her sides and shakes them out a little --
"Are you offering?"
"Only
incidentally," she says, and reaches up to touch the fingers that are
on her throat -- her pulse point. "You know what I meant. How can you
*bring* yourself to give in to that, when I haven't even -- *Jason*
always invites."
"You," Bruce says, and his smile is wry again. "Keep that in mind."
"I -- yes. But --"
"In
answer to your question -- you're quite sparing with your own physical
invitations when you're not making love. *Jason* -- has learned to
take. Or perhaps that's something you've taught him...?"
Jason,
spinning her around to face him -- Tim winces. "I normally give him no
reason to assume that his touches won't be welcome, in one way or
another."
Bruce nods. "You rejected my attempts to offer
comfort, Tim. It was... imperative to discover if you would reject
this, as well," and he presses his thumb against her chin.
That... well. "I could question your timing."
"We
have, perhaps, both learned to take such things when they're offered --
if not always to take when they're merely available."
Tim sighs and gives herself a moment just to feel the light pressure of Bruce's fingers, just to --
She
watches Bruce's eyes change, darken and deepen a little, and she knows
that he could feel her... feeling him. And... what of it? Isn't it at
least something like what she's supposed to do?
Jason wants --
Jason
wants her to have this, and she wants to have it, too. Though she
doesn't want to give Bruce... something. She doesn't really have the
words to describe it. It's just -- the thing that follows anger, the
relief of that *one* moment, close enough now that she can feel it
*coming* --
Bruce rubs up to her lower lip with his thumb. "Would you tell me?"
"I'm
-- feeling better," she says, and smiles ruefully. "I'm not entirely
sure how that *worked*, but I'm willing to ascribe it to the power
of... inconsequential things."
"Tim, I'd like to..." Bruce
takes a breath, audible and -- deep, not harsh. "Your touch, last
night. The way you pressed against me in the moments before you fell
asleep..."
And she knows -- Bruce wants a hug. From her. *Specifically* from her, but -- not yet. Not -- "I need to -- give me a moment?"
Bruce
nods and never looks away from her eyes as he backs away, lets *go* in
a way that feels profound, *severe* -- the other touches had felt so
*casual*, or... perhaps she means *sure*. Tim swallows against the
rising thing inside her, the *good* thing, and she squeezes Bruce's
hand.
And then she turns and goes to Jason, watching the way
he's both following and avoiding the bag, the way he's moving and
striking. A flurry when she's close enough to smell a hint of his
sweat, and then he stops, holding the bag still and panting a little --
"Baby...?"
"I need to -- be close to you. Just for a
moment," she says, and thinks about raising her arms, thinks about
moving a little closer -- if he needs the bag, right now, he needs the
*bag*, and that's all there is to it.
His expression is both
troubled and distant, and she can't really be *sure* what he's thinking
about, but -- she thinks she can guess.
"If that's all right --"
"Oh,
fuck, baby," he says and steps away from the bag, cups her face and
strokes her cheekbones, searches her -- "You sure? This is okay?"
"I
feel... ah. Bruce has been helpful," she says, and Jason's hands are
almost hot against her, damp with sweat. The scent of him is heavy and
thick, familiar in all the best ways -- "My hips?"
Jason
grins, and it's like -- Barbara and Dinah have both spoken a great deal
about *Dick's* smiles, and the power of them, but she knows that
Jason's are better. Especially this one, and the way it gets a little
wider before he kisses her --
And the *good* thing inside her
expands, heats her in a way that has nothing to do with sex and
everything to do with the way that the tape sounds when he brushes a
hand over her hair, with the way she can feel his sweat when he *does*
grab her hips and pull her close --
"Love you, baby, love you like -- fucking air. Ice cream. Fast cars and faster bikes. Blood on my gauntlets --"
"Jay,"
she says, because it's everything, and kisses the spot on his jaw where
he'll bruise from her punch, bites him there and presses *closer* --
"We're okay. We -- we're okay?"
Tim nods and wraps her arms tight around his neck. "I need you."
"You
got me. For as long as you want, and a good long while after that,
too," and Jason kisses her forehead and squeezes her hips. "I'll never
leave you."
"Don't -- I."
"Don't make promises like
that?" Jason sighs and pulls back enough to look at her. "Maybe you
should think of it as a *threat*."
Nothing lasts forever.
*Nothing* does -- and there's something in Jason's eyes that says he
knows that. Of course he does, but -- she doesn't *want* him to know it
--
And he doesn't want her to know it, either. "I love you."
"Mm, do me a favor?"
"Of course --"
"Next time I hurt you, fucking *break* my nose for me. Give me something to *think* about so I never do it again."
"I --" Tim raises an eyebrow. "I just don't see the benefit for *me* in making you less attractive, Jason."
Jason
lets go of her hip and presses down on the tip of her nose. "Could just
add character, baby. A little hint of *danger*. Trust me -- chicks love
that."
She doesn't splutter, but it's a pretty near thing, and
-- she can feel Bruce somewhere behind her, feel him watching and not
*having*. "I... I need to go back to Bruce now."
"You were
talking for kind of a while. I just *bet* you're itching to get back to
training," he says, and traces a domino around her eyes.
Tim
blushes. "Well, that, and -- I had to give you the *first* hug. While I
was still -- while it was still something *in* me. If that makes any
sense?"
Jason blinks and smiles ruefully. "You're getting real close to him. That's -- I like that."
"Even when you don't?"
"Even
when I don't, yeah, *just* like that," and Jason brings his other hand
back down to her hip, lifting her against him a little -- "God, anyone
would need to touch you, baby. Five fucking *minutes* talking to you
and I needed it."
"You -- the feeling is mutual. Except that I didn't actually need to *talk* to you first."
Jason's smile gets wide again. "Surveillance equals love? Does that mean Babsy thinks I got it goin' on?"
Tim
raises an eyebrow. "Well. She *did* mention something along the lines
of what might have happened if you were a little older and she were a
little younger."
This time, Jason blinks several times and looks... satisfyingly poleaxed. "Uh. Uh?"
Tim
laughs and squeezes with her arms. "She wouldn't be satisfied with our
relationship if it wasn't clear that I had... the best."
"Heh. Yeah, well... no, I'm stuck on uh. *You* saw her when she was Batgirl --"
"She
was beautiful, bright and *perfect*. I have a lot of photographs, but
they never did her justice. I was upset when Dick stopped being Robin,
because it seemed as though she should always have... someone like
that. They *matched*," she says, and smiles ruefully. "In my head,
anyway."
"I always kind of wondered about that. It was pretty
much all said and done by the time I came along -- Dick was a *Titan*,
full stop, and Kory's boyfriend, too -- but... yeah. I knew about
Batgirl and Robin. What it was *supposed* to mean."
"Barbara
seems... well. She talked about being much older than Dick, about how
that meant that she *couldn't* really be with him the way I always
thought they were."
"The way Dick wanted -- *that* much I
know," Jason says, and strokes the hollows of her hips with his thumbs.
"*We* make Batgirl and Robin right."
"I -- yes. Yes, we do."
Jason nods and grins, just as sharp and hard as Robin --
Which means she has to grin right back -- showing her teeth and switching her hips once, twice --
"My girl... what does Bruce need from you, do you think?"
"Ah... touch. Contact. Like last night, I think. Are you..." She frowns a little --
And
Jason reaches up to rub it off her face, leans in to kiss her briefly
-- "I want you all to myself *right* up until I remember how I feel
about Bruce, how much I love him and need him... well," and Jason
shrugs a little.
Tim closes her eyes for a moment. "Sometimes
I wonder if... if it's easier for you to let me have him than it is for
you to have him yourself."
"That's part of it, yeah --"
"And
then... I wonder how you'll feel when you *can* deal with having Bruce
for yourself, Jay. About me -- and about me and Bruce."
Jason
frowns. "Hey, didn't I say I'd never leave you? Look, I -- *I'm* not
sure how it works in me, but just because it *will* get easier for me
to be around Bruce like this -- because of everything we do *together*
-- doesn't mean it'll stop being good with *us*. And for you and Bruce,
too. You get closer to him all the time, and that just makes all of us
*stronger*."
She'd like to believe that -- more. She'd like to
*live* in that. It's a small and beautiful world, where everything will
always be *okay* among the three of them -- or at least could always be
*made* okay. "I want... I never want you to think that you don't come
first for me --"
"Hey, *you* don't make promises like that."
"Jay --"
"In *my* happy world, Tim? We *both* come first for you, and it works that way all around --"
"I don't think. Jay, I'm reasonably sure humans don't work that way very often."
"Yeah,
so? We're special, special people, baby -- and I *watch* you with B.
The way you let him touch you, the way you lean in, a little, when he's
saying something that makes you wanna laugh..."
Lean in? She -- really? "I --"
He squeezes her hips *hard* --
"I'm listening."
And
Jason's smile is broad and relaxed, honestly *happy* -- "He's my
partner. And when the two of you are making each other happy... well,
that means *my* world is better. At least, that's my theory of how it
all works. You're the two most important people in my life, and I need
you both like crazy. Just don't forget about me, and we'll be fine."
Tim
pushes her hands into Jason's hair, and wonders what would happen if
she just decided to *believe* in Jason's way of doing things. Bruce...
he'd said he needed her, and Bruce isn't the sort of person who can lie
about that. Everything he *does* has need woven through it, and -- and.
"It's easy to believe in Bruce's... need."
"It's right there
for you, clear as day. I mean, I can see it, too, but... it's all
wrapped up with other things for me, I think. He never wanted *you* to
be his kid."
Tim nods, and tugs on Jason's hair a little.
"I... all right. I'll just... go with it. But you have to tell me if
I'm... I don't know. Neglecting you, maybe?"
"Why? So you can
show Bruce that he's second best?" Jason's still smiling, but he shakes
his head. "No way. I'm gonna be an *adult* about this, baby. And about
other things, too, while I'm at it," he says, and there's a little
distance in his eyes.
Something Tim can't touch, and she'd be
lying to herself if she even tried to think that wasn't frightening,
but... but. There are things in all of them which can't ever belong to
anyone else.
And Jason comes back to her soon enough,
squeezing her hips again and pulling her up onto her toes. "He's been
watching us the whole time, you know. Not even trying to hide it."
Tim smiles. "That would perhaps explain the slight burning sensation between my shoulder blades."
"Burning, hunh? For me it's always more of an *itch*."
"Mm. We should ask him to invent an ointment for it. I'm quite sure he'd enjoy applying it."
Jason snickers and kisses her forehead again. "Yeah, go with *that*. He'll love it."
"I -- all right. You planning on beating up the bag any more?"
"Nah,
I won't get much out of it without someone to hold it for me. I'm gonna
hit the pommel horse before I lose my mind entirely and make Bruce have
it bronzed for posterity."
Tim snorts hard enough to hurt herself -- "I. Oh... dear."
"Heh.
Yeah, *that*. And let me just say -- anytime you want us to bend you
over *anything* -- *anywhere* -- please do let us know. We're *there*
for you, baby."
A part of Tim wants to look down for that.
Another part wants to blush and apologize, stammer and deny -- pretty
much freak out entirely. Jason thinks she only wants to be punished,
that she -- Tim laughs, softly and pushes her face against Jason's
shoulder.
"Tell me?"
"A moment of the sort of neurosis
Barbara -- and you, and Bruce -- thinks I would do better without. At
the moment, I'm entirely in agreement."
"Well, *that's* good,"
and Jason strokes up to her back and pets her. "There is *nothing*
wrong with our sex life in general, or with how you *get* when we're
fucking specifically."
"Mm. Except for my discomfort with my genitals."
"You're getting better every day. Every *time* we do it. And you know it."
She
does, and that's the sort of problem that she's not really allowed to
think of as a problem. Perhaps, with time... something. Tim sighs and
pushes away from Jason. "Noted."
"Come get me when you're ready for our run?"
Tim
nods and smiles, letting Batgirl out for long enough that she can twist
out of Jason's grip and dance backward on her toes. Jason watches her
go, and keeps watching when she does turn around. She can, as always,
feel it.
Just as she can feel Bruce the closer she gets
to him. There's an interview Superman had given with his wife in which
he talked about becoming a vegetarian because of the auras he could see
around all living things, and Tim has always wondered if the auras are
stronger with some people. Jason's would almost have to be --
everything about him is so large and *vivid*. Bruce would be another
like that, albeit in different ways.
He can be less than a
shadow when he wants to be, but when he's relaxed -- or feeling that
*need* within him -- all of him comes through. He's surrounded by
vicious thorns -- turned in on himself, of course -- and the thorns are
surrounded by a wall to keep everyone out -- well. Not everyone.
Probably
not *her*, and Tim can't help but think about what it must mean to
Bruce to *let* her in. Jason was already inside, of course -- Bruce is
almost certainly incapable of keeping him out -- but he has always been
welcoming to her in the most personal possible ways -- even when he was
doing his best to avoid being in her and Jason's presence. And --
She's
there, close enough that she has to crane her neck back to see into his
eyes and close enough to smell him. A milder scent than Jason's, at the
moment, but she knows how much that can change with only a few hours of
work. He's looking at her with a pleasure which seems uncomplicated, as
if Tim doesn't have to do anything other than exist in order to make
him happy.
It's a look Jason has on his face quite often, and
it always makes her a little twitchy, if she's going to be perfectly
honest with herself. There's a part of her which wants to scramble for
any bits of Batgirl she can call to herself -- more of her than it took
for her to be *this* close, anyway -- and...
He wants to be touched.
Tim reaches for his hand and brushes her knuckles against his palm, back and forth until Bruce raises an eyebrow.
"You could consider holding it."
"Your hand alone...?" The tease is back in his voice. The -- invitation.
"It's a start," she says, and drags the surface of her fingernails up and down Bruce's fingers.
"And what would be the finish?"
What do you want -- no, that's a little too *direct* for the moment. "I suppose we would have to work that out, Bruce."
"Certainly,
negotiation is an important aspect of any successful relationship," and
he catches her fingers between his own and his thumb, holding them
still and stroking, lightly.
Tim tilts her head to the side. "More or less important than trauma?"
Bruce
hums and lifts her hand to his mouth, exhaling warm against her fingers
before kissing once -- twice. "Are you asking me to speak from
experience?"
Tim would like, very badly, to know exactly who
Bruce's lovers have been. There would've had to be at least one for him
to speak the way he does, and whoever it had been had almost certainly
caused pain, and a need to retreat from that part of life entirely.
Jason would've mentioned if there had been anyone during his time as
Robin, and... four years. Four years plus however long it had been
*before* that --
"Tim...?"
"I'm not -- going back to being upset," she says, and smiles ruefully --
"No,
you were thinking very deeply about something you found troubling," he
says, and it's *almost* a question. Not quite enough of one for comfort
--
Life still isn't about comfort. She smiles a little wider.
"I was considering the nature of your... experience, Bruce. I don't
think I could... I'm not sure what I would be like if I were alone for
--"
"You should never be alone," and the tone of his voice makes
the words into an order, something to follow with all of herself lest
dire consequences occur.
Tim raises an eyebrow. "I wasn't planning on it. The universe doesn't often concern itself with the plans of individuals."
"We make our own worlds," Bruce says, and tugs her hand over to his shoulder before letting go.
Tim sets it down there and squeezes, reflexively searching for the tension she can *feel* from Bruce --
"I enjoyed massaging your back, Tim," and he cups her waist, strokes and squeezes --
Mm. "You have any number of skills at your disposal that I find... compelling."
"Does Jason ever massage your feet?"
"Ah -- he has, in the past."
"Something I have yet to see for myself." A *request* for invitation, or just a request, full stop?
Tim smiles and brings her other arm up, wraps them around Bruce's neck and pushes up on her toes --
Bruce hums and squeezes her again. "Thank you."
"I..."
She's blushing. There's a sense of sexuality here, but it isn't quite
*focused* in any one direction, as if there would be no way to tell
which actions would count as escalation. And yet Bruce seems entirely
calm, still *pleased* -- perhaps she means 'satisfied,' to some degree
or another. "Jason... he always seems inclined to focus on my pressure
points."
"A difficult temptation to resist. Do you moan for him when he does it?"
"The first time was on the street. I was undercover --"
"The heels would've been entirely inadequate."
Tim
nods and strokes the back of Bruce's neck, thinks about pushing closer,
dragging her face against Bruce's chest -- "I didn't moan -- then. It
was a challenge."
Bruce nods slowly, and generally gives the
impression that that was information he'd needed, and was pleased to --
finally -- receive.
"Is this... is it the contact you wanted, Bruce?"
"Some of it," and Bruce's eyes are narrow and amused, skin crinkled at the corners --
"Is there a... joke?"
"Only,"
he says, and squeezes her waist again, "at my own expense. There seems
to be no end to my desires for you and for Jason. My... cravings.
Still, there remains the fact that you find that weakness to be
attractive. I have rarely felt both grateful to and disgusted with
myself."
*That* joke is painful enough that Tim thinks she
should be feeling the claws of it tearing at *her*, but right now there
is only warmth, and a somewhat paradoxical feeling of safety. What will
happen when Jason feels this for himself? When he's able to *allow*
himself this feeling --
"Tim." And Bruce releases her waist with one hand and uses it to stroke -- her frown line.
"You could consider --"
"Many, many things."
"I
-- ah." Tim laughs and shakes her head, causing Bruce's fingers to drag
against her forehead. "I was only going to say that there *will* be
times when I think about other things, Bruce. And this -- this should
be in a bed."
"Do you feel indolent?"
Does she? "I feel warm. And -- appreciated, I think would be the best way to put it."
"You
are. I have no difficulty whatsoever with understanding Barbara's urge
to be with you at all times," he says, and strokes down to her earlobe,
pinching it between his fingers and tugging lightly.
That's -- "Her communicators are better. And I'd... there were a lot of times when I've wished I could have her in my ear."
"Wisdom,
experience... care," and Bruce strokes the shell of Tim's ear slowly
enough that Tim has to narrow her eyes a little -- he stops.
"Ah. Bruce?"
"Desire, again," and he frowns, starts to step back --
Tim
tightens her grip on Bruce's neck. "That's -- you really don't have to.
I mean, Jason and I spend a great deal of time arousing each other when
we have no intention of... taking things to their logical conclusion."
Bruce
squeezes her waist with one hand and drags the fingers of the other
down to her throat. "I didn't intend for this to be... sexual."
"You're just noticing that it is? Because -- really, Bruce --"
"Your responses were -- had been -- innocent of... intent."
Yes?
She looks back over the past few minutes and... all right. For certain
Bruce-specific definitions of innocent -- and yes, she *does* remember
that that had included his hand *around* her throat. She laughs again
and scratches at the back of Bruce's neck --
"Tim."
"We both know that we have more training to do, Bruce. *You* can control yourself. And enjoy yourself at the same time."
He presses two fingers to her pulse and takes a deep breath -- inhales her. "You seem very sure about that."
"If *I* can do it --"
Then
she can be lifted, *hitched* against Bruce, dragged against his body --
a moment of thrill, of fear and *discomfort* as their jocks bump
against each other -- kissed, and --
There's some question to
it. She's incapable -- at least at this moment -- of not believing in
Bruce's desire for her, but really... is he proving a point again?
Perhaps seeing how far he can *push* the fact that she finds his needs
attractive? Perhaps...
Perhaps *just* kissing her, at least for
*this* moment, holding her up off the floor and licking her tongue,
stroking her hair --
Shifting his grip on her enough that she
could -- if she wished -- wrap her legs around him again, and thus
almost certainly precipitate any number of non-training-related
activities. Jason would *not* take long to join them, and really -- she
can *feel* him watching them, knowing them with some portion of his
senses as much as they've both been watching and knowing Jason work
himself on the pommel horse.
Beauty, *power* --
Bruce hums and sucks her lower lip for a moment before pulling back and raising an eyebrow which seems... distinctly rueful.
"Yes, Bruce?"
"While it's true that your focus is admirable, I confess that I find myself somewhat chagrined."
Well...
("Aww, *c'mon*, baby, that had to work for you at least a *little* bit...")
The blush feels rather dire, as these things go, but -- "In my defense, Bruce --"
"You need none."
"Still -- you *were* in the process of teaching me several nasty new things before my issues interrupted us."
"I'm going to enjoy... shopping, for your birthday."
Tim -- blinks. "Excuse me, but did you *intend* for that to be a threat?"
Bruce sets her down on her feet, steps back, and gestures toward the mats.
Batgirl considers a kick that, lacking her heels, would not be *truly* damaging...
"As much as I would enjoy it, I believe Jason feels it's his turn to spar with you, Tim."
"And my feelings don't matter, Bruce...?"
Heat
in his eyes, sudden and -- deeply affecting. He really might've assumed
that she was being neurotic again, and it's very, very good that he
hadn't.
Perhaps he was reading the truth in her eyes. Tim
shifts, a little. Enough to *suggest* a certain ready position, one
that has little to do with the strikes he was teaching...
Bruce shows his teeth -- but doesn't move into a ready position of his own.
"Hmph. Now who's being... focused?"
"I've always thought that teaching well required the ability to *learn*. Tim."
Tim shows her own teeth, but inclines her head. "As you say," she says, and slips into the *correct* ready position. "Again?"
"Again."
*
It was a little weird walking through the manor in their workout clothes, but once they're outside...
Damn. *How* long has it been since he's been out in the sun, exactly? It can't be since the school year ended. Can it?
Tim's
looking like she's wondering the same thing -- and blinking kind of
adorably while she's at it, and... hunh. She's pretty damned pale, and
always has been, to the best of *his* knowledge. "Should we have gotten
you some sunblock?"
"I -- possibly," she says, and smiles ruefully. "Perhaps we'll run through the wooded areas?"
Jason nods. "We can do that. I probably need a little time to adjust to all this Vitamin D, anyway."
Tim laughs and -- fucking *kicks* up into a stretch.
"Jesus, baby, *warn* a guy."
She presses her cheek against her calf and pushes up onto her toe -- "You really should be getting used to this by now, Jay."
"Uh, *no*. Sunlight exception in *full* effect."
"There's
a sunlight exception?" And she drops her foot flat, drops her leg and
rocks on her heels before kicking up the *other* leg --
"There -- totally is. Christ, I need to bend you in half more often."
Tim's smile is sharp and *sweet* -- "You *need* to stretch."
"Okay, okay, I hear you. Let me soak up these rays a little bit more first. Man, I almost feel guilty for enjoying it so much."
"Mm. Barbara suggested I drag you out more often. Not just onto these ridiculously beautiful grounds, either."
Jason stretches his back until it pops and then moves into a quad stretch. "Yeah? Like... into the city or something?"
"Mm-hm. We could... ah. Date."
And that -- he grins. "Dinner and a movie, baby? Carriage-ride through the park?"
"Perhaps," she says, and stretches her own quads, "there'd be a mugging we could stop."
"Heh,
no way. *Dates* are different. Special. You could dress up, shove me
into one of those fucking *terrifyingly* expensive suits..."
"Oh -- ooh. You always rumple those so *attractively*."
"It's a gift. Hell, do you -- *have* you ever dated anyone?"
Tim
shakes her head and bounces up on her toes a few times. "I was never
really... I mean, there were friendly acquaintances in school, and I've
felt some measure of attraction for one or two of them --"
"Anyone I can hit?"
Tim
snorts. "Down, boy. Tim Drake, quietly normal boy, had very *straight*
friends. And..." She shakes her head. "I could never really imagine
being with a civilian."
"Not even for a quickie?"
"A
-- quickie." Tim *looks* at him from under her lashes. "I think you
overestimate the power of my libido when it's not confronted with
highly-trained vigilantes."
He -- really is. Kind of a lot, but -- "Still, baby. It can't have *all* been me for you --"
"And why not?"
And that -- it really could be a kind of *dangerous* question, but she's smiling at him again. Loving at him, really, and --
Jason
leans in and kisses her, quick and soft... and then not so quick,
because she's got one hand in his hair and she's holding on *nice* and
tight. He can't taste Bruce on her, but he thinks he can -- almost --
feel him. Like a tease she's not hitting *him* with, or --
Something.
He pulls back and *grins* back. "Why not is because you are, actually,
a teenager -- somewhere in there -- and you're supposed to be lusting
all over the place."
"I got lucky the first time," she says, quiet and -- so *good*, but --
"*Seriously*, Tim. I -- kinda need to know."
"Well, how much *would* you freak out if I told you that Barbara used to share footage of Dick, too?"
Dick working out, Dick flying, Dick bending and flipping and fucking *twisting* --
"The
operative words being 'used to.' You were Robin, and I was going to be
Batgirl one day, and -- I don't know. He seemed too much... older?
Maybe?"
Jason smiles ruefully. "Like maybe he wouldn't be interested in your hot jailbait ass, you mean?"
For a moment, her smile is both distant and kind of thoughtful, but then she looks at him again and her eyes just *flash* --
"Yeah, BG?"
"*Everyone* wants me," she says, and cocks her head to the side. "I thought you knew that already."
"Oh, baby, you gotta let me beat up *someone* you're attracted to. I got an *itch*," he says, and stalks up *nice* and close --
"Poor baby needs a scratch?"
"Ooh -- damn, now I'm thinkin' about Catwoman. Okay, scratch *that*."
Tim
laughs -- almost giggles, really, and shoves at Jason's chest a little.
"Purple isn't really my color," and she sets off in a jog.
Jason
watches her move for a few moments -- she runs like a *runner*, and
there's no gender in it at all -- and then follows, moving up beside
her. "Definitely not Dick?"
"This is where I *could* be asking what it is about Dick that makes you this... *potentially* jealous."
He
*has* kind of poked her about Dick a lot. Multiple times, even, but --
"He was the first, baby. And he's *still* the best -- who isn't Bruce,
anyway. You *like* competence."
"And passion --"
"He's *got* passion. All over the place with the fucking passion --"
"And danger --"
"He's pretty dangerous if you push him the wrong way --"
Tim growls and punches his arm --
"Hey --
"He's not *you*. And... I don't know. Having met him... he's kind of. Well, he's very friendly, and certainly attractive --"
"This is what I'm *saying*, Tim --"
"You. You're *confusing* me," she says, and runs a little faster --
Jason picks up the pace. "I know, I'm sorry, but --"
"How
the *hell* could you all but *shove me onto Bruce's penis* and still
get this... this freaked *out* about someone I've never even thought
about kissing?"
"Never? I -- okay, and technically I *did*
shove you onto Bruce's dick a few times, but to be fair you were pretty
out of it at the time --"
Tim *growls*. "Okay, fine, I'll think about it for you. Your mouth is more lush than his --"
"Lush? Really?"
"Shut
*up*, it is. But -- all right. The way he *moves* his mouth when he
talks, the way he moves his whole body, or -- even the way he sits
still. There's a sense of him *wanting* to be in motion, and that would
imply that he'd kiss very -- passionately. Possibly press close almost
immediately, *move* against me. And I suppose he *is* very flexible. We
could bend each other into various interesting shapes, work through the
entire Kama Sutra, etcetera.
"He likes telling jokes, likes to
*laugh* judging by the lines on his face, so perhaps I'd be playful
with him, tease him the way you like to be teased, only more so,
because I'd be playing for a different audience. Presumably a more
*patient* audience. He *is* older and more experienced."
"Uh -- um. Baby?"
She
doesn't pause, slow down, or even look at him. "A body like his...
well, I suppose I'd have to *worship* a little. Touch him all over.
*Taste* him all over --"
"Jesus, I -- fuck, you don't have to -- I mean, I don't want you to --"
"You
don't want me to *what*? Want him? But you *do*, Jay. Some part of you
would actually feel *better* if I wanted him, and don't even *try* to
deny it."
Jason -- keeps running. Thinks about it, really
tries to... it's just that it would be *natural* for her to want Dick.
Hell, she wants *Bruce* -- wants him a *lot* -- and it's not that the
two of them are really alike or anything, but --
"You... oh,
Jay, I really *am* confused. Because -- it does and *doesn't* feel like
the things you've said about Bruce and me, the things you say you
*want*, and I --" This growl feels a little more inner-directed, but
it's still an *order* to sit up and take notice.
"I -- shit. I think I'm maybe... kind of attracted to him."
Tim doesn't miss a step in any way save for the *look* on her face --
"Not
that I would -- he's not. I don't want a *relationship* with him or
anything like that. I don't even want to have sex with him, because
he's fucking *family*, and that would be asking for it in so many ways
I can't even *deal* --"
"*Bruce* is family --"
"Bruce
is my *partner*, though. Dick *used* to be Bruce's partner, but it's
not like -- there's Batman and Robin, and now there's Batman and Robin
and Batgirl. Nightwing's not really a part of that," Jason says, and
reaches out to stroke her arm a little. "I'm not --"
"You. Jay... are you going to be like this about everyone you're attracted to? Pushing me at them *first*?"
"I'm
not *pushing*, baby. I really *don't* want you hooking up with Dick,
even though I *know* he'd make you enjoy the hell out of it, because
he's *Dick* --"
"Jesus, Jay. You are..." And Tim laughs,
sudden and absolutely real. It's not as light as those giggles earlier,
but it's a lot brighter than he'd expected.
"Tim..."
"I'm
sorry, I just realized that I was about to tell you that you had
*issues*, and that's... really *very* amusing. To me, anyway."
Well...
Jason snorts and shakes his head. "Trust me when I say I *know* I have
issues. And I'll... try to maybe cope with the fact that part of me
really *does* want Dick's sweet ass."
"It *is* a very nice ass."
"God, baby --"
"From a purely aesthetic standpoint," she says, and grins at him -- the grin slips, a little, though.
"Hey, what is it?"
"Is this going to be a problem? I mean, I was planning on going up to New York this weekend --"
"Take me *with* you --"
"Forgive
me, Jason, but experience suggests that leaving you *here* would be the
best way to avoid random sexual experiences with multiple partners."
Jason winces. "I'm not -- he wouldn't -- he's got *Kory*."
"Who, apparently, has offered at least once to have a threesome with Barbara."
Images.
Serious -- and a lot of them. A *lot* of them. Many, many -- "Okay,
that was probably more than once. But see, that's my point."
"I'm listening. Warily, but I'm listening."
"As
far as I know, Dick hasn't agreed to *any* threesomes -- and he really
would've mentioned that to me, because he's Dick, and that's just the
kind of thing that comes out of his mouth if you don't watch him like a
fucking *hawk*..."
"I'll -- take your word on that," Tim says,
and takes them off the trail into a wooded area that probably hasn't
ever been logged.
It takes a little more focus to run through
without tripping, but the trees are big enough and old enough that
there isn't much undergrowth to get snagged on. Good place for running,
really, and -- yeah. "Anyway, he's had Kory *on* him about that,
because that's just who *she* is. So -- it wouldn't come up."
"Honestly, this just feels like we're *asking* for it to happen. *I do not want to have sex with your older brother*."
"Well, that's -- it's not like you wouldn't be able to say *no*, baby -- oh."
"Yes,
*oh*. You're really *fucking* persuasive when you've got an erection,
Jay, and -- just give me a little time to get to know them on my own?"
It's
an honest request -- it's almost a *plea*. And he has to own up to the
fact that he really is *completely* irrational. She *wouldn't* do
anything with them, and certainly not with those kids they want her to
lead, because that's not who *she* is. Just because *he* thinks Dick is
incredible... "Heh, I... I just remembered the way he was trying to
touch you when the two of you met."
"Oh, *Jay* --"
"No,
I know. You brushed him off nice and politely. *Twice*. He probably
didn't even know he was flirting until you did. You're the only person
I've *ever* seen brush Dick off."
"You... he flirts with you often?"
"With
*everyone*, all the time. He *doesn't* mean it ninety-nine percent of
the time, but he's... hell, I don't know. I once spent a weekend with
him trying to figure out if he wanted to suck my dick or just *really*
wanted a hug."
Tim leaps over a fallen tree that Jason would just as soon run around -- "Did you figure it out?"
"It
was the hug," Jason says. "He's touchy-feely in pretty much *every*
way, and... God, *why* are we still talking about Dick?"
"Jay... *is* it only the men you're attracted to who... twist you up this much?"
His
turn to very carefully not miss a step and very thoroughly *not* think
about that question, or why she would *ask* that question, or --
"Fucking A, Tim, warn a guy."
"I -- sorry. It just... occurred to me. We can talk about something else."
"No, I'm okay. Just -- reflex to shut the hell down. I hate doing that around you."
She turns to smile at him a little, gentle and inviting and *open* --
"Love
you, baby. And -- hell. Maybe? Kind of? This is just a *theory*, but
I'm betting that it would've been good for me to deal with being bi
*before* I started hustling."
"Oh... well. Yes, probably."
Jason
snorts and bumps her with his shoulder. "I'm okay. I spent a lot of
time thinking today, and yeah, I have *giant* issues, but I'm *going*
to deal with every last fucking one of them."
"I believe you,"
she says, and he can *hear* the relief in her voice, the way it goes
way deeper than this conversation, than this *moment*.
"You... definitely want to leave me home this weekend?"
"Barbara...
she pointed out that how likely it would be that I'd try to hide behind
you, let you take the lead when Batgirl really shouldn't do anything of
the kind..." She sighs. "She's right."
"Hey, I'd *let* you do your thing, baby --"
"I know. But this first time -- there are a *lot* of them, and none of them really know what I can *do* --"
"They know you're *Batgirl*. That's all that matters."
"Yes, I know. And it will be *easier* to keep that in mind if Robin isn't there. He's a pretty distracting guy."
Jason sighs. "Yeah, okay, I admit it -- I just don't want to let you go for a whole weekend."
"Absence makes the --"
"Dick get harder? Yeah, pretty much," Jason says, and grins at her. "I can still *call* you, right?"
Tim grins. "If you don't, I'll surely pine away to a wispy shadow of myself."
"And we *can't* have that."
They
take the rest of the run without speaking, pushing a little until
they're sweaty and breathing hard, until Jason can see Tim relaxing
into the light burn of it the way Jason had to spend time learning how
to do.
She looks like she really *enjoys* running, just
letting her body go with it, and Jason tries to take her example. He
gets a lot of thinking done when he's running, but it's not like that's
always been the best thing in the world.
Right now, though,
all he has to think about is Tim, and the way he can smell her a little
when the trees force them closer together, the way she seems so
*relaxed*. Maybe content. For a little while there he hadn't thought
he'd have anything like this again, that he'd gone just that far over
the line.... but Bruce was there, and while he gets why *she* doesn't
get the reasoning behind him wanting them together, there *is*
reasoning there.
They can make things easier for each other,
step in and give each other what they need when one of them misses a
step, and that's all over and above the *sex*, which...
Heh.
He can see it. One night they'll come in from one of their
soon-to-be-actually-happening *dates*, and Bruce'll be right there
waiting, maybe waiting to get peeled out of one of those Bruce Wayne
suits -- or.
Maybe Tim would *like* the suit. She's a classy
kind of girl, little rich girl, no matter how her parents came up.
That's probably *why* she likes the kind of clothes she does, why she
wears them *just* that well... Jason glances over and she's doing that
inner-focused thing, marking her breaths as evenly as her pace,
concentrating enough that that frown line is *just* showing on her
forehead...
Yeah, *keep* Bruce in the suit, and Tim in
whatever gorgeous thing she'd put on for her date. Jason will... hell,
he'll even keep his tie on. And maybe Bruce will insist on them all
sitting down to dinner first, maybe he'll feed Tim little things from
his plate while his hand *creeps* up Jason's thigh --
Jason
feels himself grinning nice and wide, and really, there are so many
*different* little fantasies he can think up, different things that
Bruce and Tim would do *just* because they turned him on. There's
*nothing* wrong with the sex. They just -- they *mesh*, in every
possible dirty way. And one day Bruce is gonna feel more comfortable
sharing *his* little fantasies, and -- Jesus, maybe Jason can get him
to tell them all about them, tell *him* all about them --
Bruce
*has* shared, but it isn't enough. Jason *knows* that was all just the
barest fucking tip of the iceberg, and it's exactly like discovering a
whole new side of Bruce. It's a scary side, and part of Jason will
always be a little sad that it's there because of how things *could*
have been between them, how they might have worked out, over time, how
to be a father and a son, but -- this is good, too. This is *great*,
especially if Jason can stop tripping over his damned issues and go
with it all the time the way he does when they're in the middle of
screwing and it's all he can *think* about.
He *can* have that
all the time. He *knows* it, and he knows it's what Bruce and Tim want
from him -- for him. And Bruce... Bruce is his partner, and his friend,
and a whole lot of other things that never have to change, at all.
Finding a new side to him is a twisted kind of *Christmas*, complete
with a lot of things wrapped up tight that are *all* for him.
Even
the ones which are, technically, for Tim -- because he's never going to
get tired of seeing her happy, seeing her horny, seeing her fucking
*wild* for it like there's no other possible way of handling things...
"Penny," she says, and leads them back to the trail when the trees start getting too thick together.
"Just thinking about us, baby. All of us, that is."
"Mm. I wanted... I wanted some time for just the two of us, time to *talk*..."
That -- sounds really ominous. "Uh... yeah?"
She
laughs, softly. "Sometimes... sometimes you *think* you haven't made up
your mind about something when you actually have, you know."
Jason winces a little. "I -- can see that point, yeah. Look, don't dance around. *Are* you okay with all of this?"
"Yes --"
"Thank God --"
"But
I'm still *worried* about it. You're so sure that it's all going to
work out, that it will all *keep* working out, just because we all want
it to, and I just... there are all kinds of relationships that fall
apart out there that don't have anything *like* the pressures and
stresses that our relationship does."
That's nothing but the
truth, *but* -- "They don't -- civilians don't *get* it, Tim. You know
that. They're all worried about their mortgages and their jobs and
their car payments and their kids' clothes and all that other stuff
that doesn't mean shit when it's all said and done."
"I'm sure -- they -- would beg to differ, Jay --"
"They
don't get a say. We're dealing with life and death out there, baby.
Every *night*. We don't know if one of us just isn't going to come back
home one dawn, if Bruce's cowl won't get ripped off in the middle of
some fight and our whole world will come crashing down, or -- fuck, a
million other things that we're all trained to avoid, but which could
happen *anyway*. You *know* that. Hell, you were just talking about
that --"
"I. It's true. But still, Jay, we're asking for a *lot* here. From all of us."
"Yeah,
well, we all know -- or we *should* know -- that all that really
matters is keeping things sane and good and *together* as much as we
can, making our down time as good and sweet as it can be, because we
all need it, and because it could all fall apart at *any* time. We have
to just... I don't know, take it moment by moment? We can't afford to
drive ourselves nuts thinking about potential futures that might never
be *allowed* to happen," and Jason glances over again --
Tim's
jaw is tight and her eyes are tracking fast, looking for holes in his
argument, ways to make it *clear* to him that even though she wants it
-- all of it -- that it's, well, too much to ask.
"It's *not* too much if it's what we all need. And you -- you need Bruce."
"I
care about him. I -- he makes me --" Tim shakes her head. "It *scares*
me how much older he is, Jay. I mean, I'm *fourteen* --"
"Fifteen in a couple of weeks..."
Tim
snorts. "Yes, and you'll be seventeen in August, and Bruce will be
*forty*. I have no *idea* how that's working for him, but --"
"Wait, wait, *you're* the one who *understood* his feelings and his -- issues. From the *beginning*, even --"
"Of
course I understood him loving you. As far as I'm concerned, it's an
excellent sign of mental *health*, but now there's me --"
"And he fucking *adores* you --"
"I.
Yes, he does seem to make that... difficult to *escape* in terms of
perception --" Tim growls softly and picks up speed again, possibly
without thinking about it.
It *is* time for them to pour it on
a little more, but if she's needing to run... "Baby, he's -- it's how
he's *wired*. And yeah, I admit that I spend a lot of time not thinking
about that too deeply, but -- I have to live with it. *Have* to."
"Because
you love him, and you want him, and I *know* this sort of thing is
pretty much never a phase, and I -- no, that's not. I'm throwing out
random things instead of saying what I mean."
"Okay..."
"What
I *mean*... is that I'm intimidated. When I'm with him -- when I was
with him, earlier, it was so *easy*. It was fun and warm and really
*good*, like maybe I could've had something with Bruce even if you were
never in the picture for either of us."
Jason shivers. "Well -- that's what. You're falling in love with him."
"I
am. I think I am, and I --" She shakes her head and makes a sound that
may or may not be part of a really kind of *cracked* laugh -- "It
scares the hell out of me, Jay. You -- you're so easy to be in love
with, it's so *right*, on so many -- on so many *levels* --"
"Heh. Batgirl needs a Robin?"
"So
*much*, and vice versa, and -- I have no *context* for Bruce, nothing
to make it make sense other than his mutual attraction with Barbara,
and my own *fucking* crazy feelings. I feel greedy, slutty --"
"Jesus, baby, *no* --"
She
holds up a hand. "It's not -- the feelings pass, all too quickly,
leaving me with this... this *thing* for him, this need to touch and be
touched. The way he *speaks* to me..." She shakes her head, and -- she
really looks like she's struggling with this, like it's hurting her a
little, when all Jason wants --
"You should -- I want you to
*go* with the good feelings, and be happy. He *does* talk to you in a
different way than he talks to anyone else. You make him... this weird
kind of *playful*, happy --"
"And it's different from the
playful happiness he gives you, and he's so..." Tim laughs and veers
around a deadfall in the path that looks like it's been there for
years.
"He loves you, baby. And I -- it makes me feel so *good*."
"Because he approves of your taste...?"
"Heh,
okay, I admit that's *part* of it. The rest... I don't really have
words for it, other than loving the way you bring him out, the way he
brings *you* out."
"And I want. I want to say that *you* bring
me out, that you do it just -- *effortlessly*, but yes, I know that
it's different," she says, and sighs. "You want us to live for the
moment."
"It's -- it's just *smart*, baby."
"Mm. You do realize that goes so far against my grain that you might as well be asking me to have sex with Barbara, right?"
Not the time to mention *that* fantasy, or that other one, either. "I -- uh. Yeah, I do."
Tim
nods and turns them back toward the manor. "I -- I'll try, Jay. For --
for you and for Bruce and for myself. Possibly in that order, but only
if I can actually *control* myself."
Jason laughs and runs two fingers down her spine. Heat, sweat -- Tim. "Losing control is nice, too."
"*Baby* steps, Jay," she says, but kind of *cuts* her eyes at him, and yeah, there's that heat.
"Spar today?"
"This late in the day? It won't be long before it's time for us to go out, and I need to get in some extended stretching."
Which
reminds him -- "Uh -- don't be surprised when Dick wants to get
seriously *involved* in your stretching exercises. I mean, he's kind of
a demon about that with *me*."
"A demon?"
"A pushy, shove-y, *bendy* demon," Jason says. "Seriously, it's like a religion with him."
"That...
makes sense. Barbara used footage of him stretching to teach me,
sometimes, before Selina got involved in my training. Rather
awe-inspiring."
But not in that sex way. *Not* --
"I'll try not to nerve-strike him when he puts his hands on me."
"Heh. That's *all* we can ask, baby. And -- hunh. It's been forever since I've sparred with *Bruce*."
"Mm, yes. You probably should try to get that in while he's at least moderately sexually sated."
And
she probably didn't *mean* for that to put all kinds of thoughts in his
head, but -- it really did. Does. Right *now*. *All* the times Bruce
has thrown him, pinned him, held him *down* against the mats.
Those
few times when Jason's got his breathing to get a little rough because
Jason has been able to stay in the game just that long, been able to
*take* Bruce's hits over and over again, or -- hell. Maybe his
breathing had been rough *just* because he was turned on.
It's
not like an incredibly painful jock would *ever* be enough to make
*Bruce* quit. And... how many times has Bruce just disappeared into
lesser-used parts of the Cave after they *have* sparred? Given Jason
things to work on and practice and got himself *gone* --
And
the image of Bruce braced against some rough-blasted wall, squeezing
himself *hard*, jerking himself off *fast*, maybe biting his lip -- no,
that would be too obvious. Forcing himself to be quiet without
*anything* to help with that -- Jason groans, and it's breathy and kind
of *loud* --
Tim laughs. "Maybe *you* should wait for that spar, Jay."
"Oh, like you *don't* wanna watch."
"Spars are *always* educational," and her voice is prim and fucking -- *virtuous* --
"You know, when you use that voice, I just want to tongue your ass until you start kicking and fighting."
"You *always* want to rim me --"
"Nuh-uh,
not rimming. That's too *direct*. I want to *tongue your ass*. Lick up
and down the cleft, shove in, growl against your hole, *tease* you a
little --"
Tim growls. "We -- had quite enough of that this morning --"
"Gettin' hard for me, baby? Maybe a little slick right at the tip of your pretty little cock?"
"Pretty.
*Little* -- I. You know, it's possible that *one* day I'll get used to
the things that come out of your mouth, but I have my doubts," she
says, and starts ramping up her speed for the final sprint.
"Aw, you like my mouth. You *love* my mouth. It's -- lush."
"Dirty. *Filthy* --"
"I'm a bad, bad boy," he says, and slaps her ass *hard*.
He gets a yelp for his trouble and a mean little punch to the bicep --
"What, I'm only allowed to do that when you're bent over something?"
"You." The blush is *deep* on her face. Maybe a little too deep?
"I mean... you *should* tell me what the rules are for that, in all seriousness --"
"Rules.
I. Let me get back to you on that one," she says, and takes *off*. No
way he's catching her until she stops, because she can fucking *cut*
through the world when she wants to. Still, the sprint's always the
best part of the run, because he's all warmed up and *primed* for it,
and because there's always a point when he thinks he'd maybe run too
far already to make it a good one, that his body will just give *out*
on him, and never mind everything he knows about his own stamina.
It's
a burn, it's a rush, and it makes him ache for the jump-lines and all
the flying he'll be doing once the sun goes down and Gotham belongs to
him again.
Tim's already shaking herself out on the veranda,
and that's more than enough reason to *really* push it until he's
running right up to her, knocking into her enough that she loses a
*little* of that perfect balance and it's *necessary* to grab her and
pull her in close.
She's laughing and beating at his chest, a little --
"Me Tarzan, you hottie?"
"Planning on ravishing me, Jay...?"
"*Daily*,"
he says, and kisses her, bending her back a little because he can, and
because it makes her laugh into his mouth and wrap her arms around his
neck. They're both sweaty and hot, and it makes Jason want to get even
more so, but she's not biting him or pulling on his hair, so...
So
he stands them both upright and *nips* her lip. She rubs the spot she'd
punched earlier and smiles at him with her eyes, narrow and warm and a
little watchful.
"Yeah, baby?"
"You really enjoyed that. Spanking me."
"You
were getting off on it like *crazy*. Of *course* I enjoyed it. I mean
-- okay, I wouldn't have been able to do it a few weeks ago, but now
that I know you a little better --"
"Do you ever wonder how you loved me when you *didn't* know me?"
Jason
shakes his head. "I loved a *piece* of you before. A big and
*important* piece, but still just a piece. Now that I have the rest of
you -- most of the rest of you, because I know there are still little
things I just don't know *yet* -- anyway, it makes perfect sense to
me," he says, and strokes down to her hips.
Tim nods. "All
right. And... was it more than just how I was reacting to it? Was there
anything about it that was... just for you?"
"You mean like
watching your ass get all red, feeling the sting in my palm, making you
cry out over and *over* again, knowing that you were *mine* and I could
do anything I wanted? Stuff like that?"
Tim's smile turns
rueful and she looks down. "All right, yes, I -- asked for that. I
just. We both know that we *both* get aroused by pain during sex, but I
wonder if it makes you... if you think I only want to be punished."
Jason
squeezes her hips before reaching to push her chin up, make her *see*
him. "It's okay if you want to be punished, sometimes. I mean, if it
isn't then I'm in trouble, too. That blowjob yesterday... those fucking
*teeth* of yours --"
"That wasn't really *punishment*, per se --"
"But
you were owning me. *Claiming* me, and that's -- that's just the
hottest thing in the damned world, baby. It's *great* that you get off
on the same kinds of things, because it lets me... it's freedom for
both of us, you know?"
She nods, biting the inside of her lip, a little.
Jason strokes her cheek, rubs at the sweat on her scalp, her contained hair explosion --
"I...
I love the way you touch me, Jay. The *ways* you touch me -- all of
them. Sometimes I get too wound up with... other things and *can't*
enjoy it, but that was... pure? Perfect?"
"Go with 'hot as
hell.' And *keep* going with it. I want *all* your kinks. I want to
come up with *new* ones for both of us. There's nothing I wouldn't do
to get you *off*."
And that makes her blush again, but it also makes her look *real* damned speculative, which really...
Jason grins.
She nods, once, and twists out of his grip. "Back to the Cave?"
"Hey, wait, you were thinking something *good* there. I can *tell* --"
"I was -- it's *just* a thought, for now. I need time to work on it. I'll let you know."
And that was all about shutting down questions for now, but... he can deal. She'll tell him when she's ready.
Or maybe she'll show him.
When
they get back down to the Cave, Bruce is doing chin-ups and generally
looking like a living *wall*. Jason had grown up and out pretty
steadily since Bruce had taken him in -- he already weighs more than
the man he'd thought was his father -- but Bruce is something else
entirely.
There are heroes who are bigger and stronger than he
is, but they're all metas in one way or another. Or an alien feeding
off the sun. Bruce had *made* himself into that, and he remembers
Alfred showing him old pictures one day when the training had made him
feel useless and scrawny -- Bruce hadn't been all *that* big as a kid,
at all.
He's -- well, he's *Bruce*. Baddest and best. Jason
grins to himself and walks over closer while Tim heads over near the
acrobatics equipment to pretzel herself for justice. She hasn't gotten
*much* time on with that stuff, lately. Probably she's planning on
rectifying that situation. And Bruce... is still doing those chin-ups.
One after another after another, steady and even.
"You make me wanna grab your legs and swing, B."
"Dick used to find that very thing endlessly entertaining."
Oh, he can *really* see it. Just -- "He totally wrapped his whole body around your legs --"
"And
bounced, yes. It made keeping my rhythm interestingly challenging,"
Bruce says, and he's smiling for the memory and maybe just for being
happy.
Jason sits down on the mats close enough that he *could*
reach over and grab one of Bruce's ankles if the mood struck hard
enough. "You pretty much have to miss that. Miss having someone *like*
that around."
The smile slips. "Jay..." A warning, really, and Jason raises his hands.
"Easy, easy, I'm not saying anything about how you might prefer having Dick to having me. I'm not even *thinking* it."
"No...?"
"Nope.
Just -- Tim and I were talking about Dick on our run, and I got to
thinking that, yeah, I really *do* miss him when I haven't seen him for
a while."
Bruce raises an eyebrow. "Is it that much of a surprise?"
"Well... *yeah*. He pretty much hated me and everything I *stood* for for a while, and he made that *really* clear --"
"You mustn't... you know that I hurt him very badly --"
"I
know, and you know, and *he* knows. And also I was a little punk with a
*nasty* fucking attitude," Jason says, and lets himself fall back onto
his elbows, lounge a little. "And no, this is not where you try to
convince me that I *wasn't* a pain in the fucking ass for a good long
while."
"Hmm. As you wish," Bruce says, and the light is back in his eyes, bright and teasing.
"Yeah. *Anyway*... I never thought I'd wind up having a brother." Or wanting his ass. "That's -- pretty much all of it."
"'Pretty much?'"
Of
fucking *course* Bruce heard that. Or maybe just heard the absence of
it, or -- some other damned thing. Jason sighs and crosses his legs at
the ankle. "I'm still working the rest of it out in my head, B. Issues,
neuroses, the whole nine. He's been really *good* to me, and -- hell,
even when he *did* hate me, he still tried like hell to welcome me
*in*, you know?"
"Little wing," Bruce says, thoughtful and quiet and *full* of understanding.
Jason
nods. "*That*, yeah. It used to screw me up big time, because I could
tell he *meant* it, that he really wanted me to be a part of his life
even when he *also* wanted to drop me off Wayne fucking Tower."
"Hmm. It's possible that he only wanted to dangle you from it."
"Yeah? Well, he *is* a pretty nice guy," Jason says, and gestures with his chin. "How many more, today?"
"Forty-three."
"I can wait. I want a *spar*, B. It's been way too fucking long."
Bruce hums and raises an eyebrow. "Perhaps I should save it for a reward."
"Heh. For which *one* of us?"
"Tim has been... exceptional."
Jason snorts. "Man, when you say it that way, it sounds fucking *wrong*, B."
"You've always... appreciated that sort of thing, from me."
"Hey, if it keeps you from trying to hump the fucking Catwoman, I'm *all* for it."
"I'm
sure," he says, and fucking *glitters* at Jason, "that Tim will be
pleased to discover the full extent of her role as... replacement."
Jason
shifts until he can raise one hand and make a pushing gesture. "Okay,
okay, I'll be good, I swear. She kicks like a fucking *mule*."
Another hum. "And her punches, Jay...?"
"Hey, it's your turn to piss her off, next. *Find out*."
"For some reason, I think I'd rather continue my efforts to please her in every possible way."
"Less wrong, more *dirty*. Heh. Why don't you tell me all *about* that, B? *How* do you want to please her?"
"Ah... it seems a discussion that would be better saved for when she's once again in our presence."
"Hey, if she doesn't watch *your* footage, she *always* has access to Babs'."
"Which
reminds me -- how *do* you feel about the fact that your entire life is
being monitored, now? I've always restricted myself to what we've done
here, but Barbara is... more thorough about such things."
"Well..."
Jason rolls his head on his neck, back and forth. "To be honest? I try
not to think about it too much. And when I *do* think about it, I
choose to believe that Babs just has a lot more kinks than any of us
have ever given her credit for. I mean, Tim planted those cameras in
*front* of me. Like it was nothing, or -- no, like she wouldn't be
fully comfortable until all of them were up and running."
"She's
spent a very important part of her life under the -- threat or promise
-- of constant surveillance, and she was in a strange place, besides.
I... understand. And there is a curious sort of comfort in knowing I
have Barbara's attention."
"Even though that attention probably involves her sharpening something for your sac, B? Hell, for *mine* --"
"Even so," he says, and sighs. "I trust Barbara to do what's necessary should I ever go... too far. Just as you trust Tim."
And that's... too close to what he spent the morning and part of the afternoon to think about. Too raw, too much -- something.
"Jay...? Are you --"
"Let's
-- talk about something else. I mean, I know I *have* to talk about
this stuff with you, but I still have a lot of work to do on it."
"I will help in any way I can," Bruce says, Bruce *vows*, and Jason kinda has to smile at him for that.
"You were the only thing I had for a good long time, B. You were -- are -- worth it."
Bruce
shakes his head once. "One day, perhaps, you will understand the
pleasure I take from being able to help you, in whatever small way you
allow..." And Bruce's laugh is a little breathy. "You *can* understand,
if you give it some thought."
It's all about love, like a rope
between them -- no, something stronger than that. A bridge, and another
between him and Tim, and another between Tim and Bruce. And that...
"You changed the subject."
"Did I...?"
Jason kicks out -- lightly -- for Bruce's foot. "You were gonna talk dirty about -- our -- girl."
Bruce's rhythm kind of *hitches* --
"Yeah, I said it. She's falling for you *hard*."
"She..."
Bruce sighs again and visibly *hauls* himself back into the chin-ups.
"She offers her body so easily, so openly -- except for her genitals.
Perhaps predictably, I have endless fantasies of touching her there."
"Yeah, I just bet. Did you try earlier?"
"Not... directly," Bruce says, and he's frowning a little, so...
"Meaning you maybe tried to tease her a little through the gaff?"
"I
tried to cup, not to tease. It seemed... at the time, it seemed like a
logical thing to do," and Bruce is frowning a little harder.
"You're just not used to her, yet, B. Avoiding that until she tells you it's okay *gets* to be something like second nature."
"It's... disconcerting that you find this sort of talk comfortable, Jay."
Jason raises his eyebrows. "Hey, you *know* I like it when I can see the human in you, B. *All* of him."
"The
occasional off-color remark about a third party is one thing. Specific
discussion of your -- our -- lover is something else, entirely.
Our lover. He likes that, likes... being able to share with Bruce, maybe? Having something -- someone -- in common, and.
It
occurs to him, sudden and sharp, that, for at least a part of his mind,
having *Tim* in common is making up for the age difference, stretching
a bridge -- again, but a different one -- over the gap of life and
experience between him and Bruce. Making them... well.
"I
want... I like being as close to you as I can get, B," he says, and
smiles ruefully. "It used to seem really hard to get, or... hard to
keep? To credit? Something like that."
And Bruce is silent for
a while after that, obviously thinking while he works. Jason settles
back on his elbows and focuses on continuing to cool down after that
run, thinks a little about strategies he could use for the spar --
useless, really, because he *never* knows what Bruce is going to throw
at him, but still fun.
Proof of how much time and effort he's put in to making himself stronger, better --
"When you... decided. To allow me to..." Bruce kind of *grimaces*, but he doesn't stop working, and --
The
grimace really had nothing to do with pain or exertion, and Jason knows
what Bruce is trying to say. "Um... maybe... I don't know if I really
*decided* so much as surrendered, B. Not that you made a strong case or
anything. You *are* a strong case, and I... I don't know. Tim told me
that I kind of have a habit of making up my mind before I realize I've
done it, and she's right."
"Your passions drive you. This isn't always a failing --"
"But *sometimes* it is, and I -- well," Jason says, and shrugs a little. "What did you want to know?"
Bruce
closes his eyes, and it makes the tiny smile on his face look like
something which should cut deep, change things -- "Why. Or... perhaps I
mean how."
It was probably just Jason's *turn* to sigh. "I --
I could probably say something, here, about how I figured out that I
needed you, that I needed you as much as I needed Tim, and so I just
kind of *dealt* with what needed to be dealt with so I could *have*
you, and -- moments like this, you know? The two of us just hanging out
and talking."
"I enjoy it a great deal. And I -- you shouldn't feel obligated to answer, Jay. I'm far more happy than I am curious."
Jason raises his eyebrows and smiles. "But maybe also a little worried the way Tim gets worried?"
"It
would be an easy emotion to embrace... but you don't undertake such
things lightly, and neither does Tim, herself. After this morning,
there's a greater urge toward... confidence."
And that's kind
of... surprising? Scary? It's a *little* like the feeling he used to
get when Bruce read him so perfectly he had to wonder if he telegraphed
*everything* about himself, but it goes a little deeper than that, and
kind of makes Jason feel penned in, held *close*. Thinking about it
that way... well, wouldn't it have to be that way with someone like
Bruce? Someone who never takes *anything* lightly...
"Jay...?"
"Heh.
I... it's funny. I've spent a little time thinking about what I'd be
like as a person if I hadn't hustled, or maybe only hustled a little
bit. I would've gone for you, let all those good things you made me
feel push me that way, but... I don't know. Would you have bit?"
"I would like to believe that I would've resisted because of your age, suggested that you -- we -- wait..."
Jason nods. "But there's Tim, who's only fourteen in some of the *really* important ways."
"There
are times I feel -- monstrous. More so because of the happiness I can't
deny within myself. Last night, this morning... Jay, I would have that
as much as the two of you allow. I have no capacity for denial --"
"No
control. But -- it's us. We're..." Family. Jason winces -- and holds up
a hand when Bruce frowns. "Tripping over stuff again, B. It'll pass,
and... what would you have done if Dick had made a pass?"
"*When*
he did, I explained that it was inappropriate as gently as I could
manage. After I lost myself for a deeply terrifying moment in his
touch."
"Oh... wow. And ow. How old --"
"Fourteen. It didn't take very long after that day for him to become Clark's lover."
Clark's
-- he'd known about that. Dick had dropped a *lot* of hints about it,
and Dick's idea of subtle involves plaid, polka dots, and a whole lot
of fucking sequins. Still, he hadn't thought that Dick was *that* young
when it started, and really, how many *other* heroes in the League are
wired that way? Just -- "You never tried to *stop* that?"
"I've
spent my life trying to avoid hypocrisy, Jay," Bruce says, and drops
from the bar -- and crouches next to Jason with a hand on his knee.
"You feel I should've done it, anyway."
"Well -- I know Clark's your friend and all, but --"
"He's
Dick's friend, as well. More than that -- he has always eased things
for Dick, always been there to offer comfort, warmth. Love. I don't
like to think about what Dick's life might have been like if he hadn't
had Clark."
That -- "Well, as a *friend*, sure, but --"
"How
much," Bruce says, and squeezes Jason's knee, "of your objections, now,
are based on the fact that you've never been comfortable with Clark?"
Jason sits up. "Jesus, B, I think I have *reason*."
Bruce
smiles. "He's an alien with frightening powers, and you've never...
approved. I do not think he seduced Dick, and I have reason behind that
belief: Dick was terribly, terribly guilty the first several times he
stayed with Clark for that reason, obviously waiting for me to chastise
him --"
"You ever think that maybe he just felt *dirty*?"
Bruce
raises an eyebrow. "Never. The three of us worked together quite often
in those days, and I could always see the way Dick responded to Clark.
The happiness and warmth, the ease... I could never have interfered
with that, even if I didn't have my own guilty desires to live with."
Jason
frowns more, but there's really nothing there he can touch, no matter
how much he wants to. Hell, for all he knows, Dick and Clark are
*still*... lovers. Maybe that kind of thing doesn't *count* as cheating
with Dick, because... fucking A, the way Dick talks, Clark had
practically helped raise him, which totally *does* make the whole thing
worse.
For him, anyway, and -- would Dick be jealous of him,
right now? Batgirl *and* Batman, and he'd never managed to have either.
All *he* has is the most powerful being on the planet and an alien
princess supermodel who likes to fight crime wearing a couple of metal
strips and some boots.
Jason laughs to himself and scrubs at
his face with his hand. "Yeah, okay, fine. You answered the question
*I* asked, and... I asked for it."
"I don't want you to be uncomfortable --"
Jason
waves it off. "I'll talk to Dick about it one day -- if I can figure
out how to do it without bringing *us* up, anyway --"
"You... you're planning to hide this from him."
"Aren't *you*? I mean, it's not like this is the kind of thing that should get *around*, B --"
"You're ashamed," Bruce says, and squeezes Jason's knee kind of *hard*, and -- hell.
"It's
not -- it's not that. Really, okay? It's just... well. Don't you think
you'd have to take at least *some* shit from the rest of the League if
it *did* get around?"
Bruce turns away. There's a smile on his face, but it's narrow and kind of cold, and --
"Bruce...?"
"I...
there's so much you don't know about how the rest of the League has...
related to the younger heroes. Part of that has been your insistence
about staying apart from the Titans, but -- I. It sounds like I'm
saying that the League is made up of ephebophiles." Bruce shakes his
head and laughs, softly. "None of that is of any consequence. There's a
difference, for me, in having our relationship become known to the
wider world and having it become known to *Dick*, Jason."
Which
makes perfect sense -- to a *point*. "*Should* there be a difference,
B? I mean, Dick *will* talk to Kory about this, especially if it upsets
him any, and Kory might let it slip to Roy, or Donna, who'll talk to
Diana... you see where I'm going with this, right?"
Another
grimace. "I'm not. I'm not comfortable with keeping this sort of secret
from Dick. There's already too much I've done -- and failed to do --"
"And
hurt him that way, I get it, and it would be fucking awful if he found
out by *accident*, but -- I'm just saying that we should maybe keep it
to ourselves until we know *how* to talk to him about it," Jason says,
and covers the hand on his knee with his own. "Okay?"
Bruce nods, but his eyes are seriously troubled, and that's just not where Jason wants him to *be*.
"Hey,
look, it'll be all right, Bruce. I mean, maybe Dick *will* be really
upset, but he loves you, and he really does see me as his brother, and
he'll get past it. And in the meantime, we've got -- us," and Jason
squeezes Bruce's hand.
Bruce smiles again, and it's still
distant, but it's a lot warmer. "That makes up for very much," he says,
and reaches out to cup Jason's face. "Attraction is such a curiously
*cruel* thing."
He really *would* think so. Hell, he'd have
to, but -- "I don't know. Sometimes it's just a mechanism that works
really damned well, B."
"A mechanism?"
"I... yeah. Something inside us like breathing or swallowing --"
"Both of which are rather inefficient in the human body --"
Jason
snorts. "Okay, something which works *better* than breathing and
swallowing, because it -- well. It pushes us toward the things -- the
*people* -- we need for one reason or another."
Bruce raises an eyebrow. "We've both seen what happens when attraction does just the opposite --"
"In
people who are *really* screwed up, instead of just a little screwed up
here and there. For most people, I think... attraction -- *real*
attraction, the kind that comes with love and respect and all those
other good things -- is something that needs to be listened to, because
if we don't, we wind up going without the things which make life
something to be happy about."
Bruce nods slowly and brushes his thumb over Jason's cheekbone.
"How long... has it been always, for you? Wanting us to be like this and *also* touching?"
"I -- took -- a great deal from resting my hands on your shoulders, from clasping your forearms --"
"Yeah, I know that, B, but -- *this*," and he drags Bruce's hand up his thigh a little ways --
"You're
so very beautiful, Jay. I --" And Bruce cuts himself off, leans in, and
the first thought in Jason's mind isn't really a thought at all. It's
something like an alarm, waking up his whole body and making him get
gooseflesh on his arms and legs.
The second thought is closer
to his forebrain, and it's all about Tim somewhere he can't see her,
pushing and pulling her body until she can do more and more incredible
things --
And then Bruce's mouth is against his own, and the
*only* thought is more, faster, harder, because it's gentle and soft,
*dry* --
Jason opens his mouth and tilts his head a little,
nudging up a little closer and feeling his nose drag against Bruce's
cheek, feeling Bruce's hand slide into his hair and tug, just a little,
before he slips his tongue into Jason's mouth.
It's still slow,
but now it's wet, and the *sound* of the kiss is wet and somehow close,
pressing in on Jason from all sides and making the gooseflesh mean
something, making it *worth* something. Bruce is sliding his hand
further up Jason's thigh and squeezing hard, and he's tugging on
Jason's hair a little more --
Jason opens his eyes, but
Bruce's are closed, tracking fast behind the lids as he thinks --
probably a million different things at once. There's the confidence he
was talking about, but there's also that *hunger*, that greed to have
everything he can just in case it gets taken away. It's weird to think
that way about a kiss this gentle, but it's *there*. He puts his hand
on Bruce's shoulder, just to feel him a little --
And Bruce rolls down onto his knees, leans in more and moans, quiet and just --
It
*hits* something inside Jason, makes it seize and scream a little to
the rest of him. Bruce is moaning, *Bruce* is moaning, Bruce is
*moaning*, and he wants this, wants Jason every way he can have him,
and that's amazing, but it's still a little scary, a little like being
a kid again and a lot like being *taken*.
Jason squeezes
Bruce's shoulder hard and moves his hand to the back of Bruce's neck,
squeezes there, too, and pushes back enough that he can stay upright,
sucks Bruce's tongue and gets another moan --
Bruce pulls back --
"Uh -- B?"
"You... wanted a spar," he says, and licks his lips, quick and teasing --
No, not that. He doesn't think Bruce would *ever* tease him on purpose, and -- "Yeah, but, let me --"
"Always,"
Bruce says, and that's more than enough reason for Jason to be thinking
about those fucking parties when he kisses Bruce again.
To
think about being all dressed up and tricked out for all the rich and
pretty people, faking his way through a glass of champagne and trying
to make it look like his third or fourth -- and having Bruce drag him
to some quiet corner and just *take*, or --
They could be
sitting down to dinner, and Bruce could shove his hand down Jason's
pants while pretending to laugh at some idiot's stupid joke --
They
could *have* this, there, and Jason knows Bruce wouldn't put up a
fight. He might not *start* it, but he'd damned well finish it, finish
*Jason* --
Kiss him just the way Jason's kissing him now, hard
and fucking *serious* with his tongue stabbing its way into Bruce's
mouth over and over, and Bruce is *clutching* at Jason's hair now,
fingers digging in against his scalp, just --
Those *hands*, and Bruce is *stroking* Jason's thigh, now, making it warm and making *Jason* warm --
Making Jason *hard*, and he needs to moan, really *wants* to moan, but the stupid fucking *kid* inside him --
No,
it doesn't get a say, not for this, and when Jason takes a breath
through his nose, he lets it out in a groan that goes on and on, goes
right down Bruce's *throat* --
And for a moment it's hard to
accept that he's flat on his back on the mats, but that has more to do
with the fact that Bruce had used his hand to cushion the fall, or --
possibly it's the fact that Bruce is sucking *his* tongue, moving over
Jason and tugging at the hem of Jason's t-shirt, pulling it up between
them --
Break, and Jason's too busy panting to say a word, too
busy staring up at Bruce's fucking *wild* eyes to do anything but groan
again --
"*Jay* --"
"Jesus. Jesus, B, I --" Jason licks his lips and starts to get back up on his elbows --
Bruce lets go of the shirt and *plants* his hand on Jason's chest, splays it and *presses*, searching Jason's eyes --
"I -- yeah, B?"
Bruce
nods and opens his mouth -- leaves it open and does a little panting of
his own. He looks *dark*, looming and hungry and just *this* close to
being completely out of control, and part of Jason really wants that,
*just* that, wants Bruce to fucking *yank* him out of his own head and
into the sex that really is going to happen *right* now.
It's
just that the rest of him needs it to not be that way -- this time. And
that part is the one that'll be making Jason freak right the hell out,
making the sex between them not *work* as well as it could. He reaches
out and cups Bruce's face, finding a pressure point with his thumb and
pushing a little until Bruce winces --
"Jay."
"Can you handle slowing down a little, B? I -- I need you to."
Bruce
presses *harder* on Jason's chest for a second, but he nods and closes
his mouth, squeezes his eyes shut and tilts his head back a little. The
most blind civilian in the *world* wouldn't be able to miss the tension
in Bruce's neck and shoulders, and -- yeah.
Jason strokes down to the join of Bruce's shoulder and neck and massages a little, digging in until Bruce moans and shudders --
And opens his eyes. "I'm sorry. I -- that kiss."
Jason grins. "It was a pretty good kiss if I do say so myself."
Bruce searches him again, obviously trying hard to even out his breathing -- "What do you want. What -- can I have?"
"Well... I'm not trying to tease you, okay? But -- tell me what you want? Get me going, a little --"
"I..."
Bruce lets out a shaky exhale. "I'd like to kiss you again. To -- cover
you with my body. Press close, as close to you as I can get --"
Jason shivers. "Yeah, uh -- yeah. Do it."
And
Bruce is on him, moving against him -- one thigh between Jason's own
and pressing on his jock, and then Bruce is lowering himself slow,
fucking *achingly* slow, more and more *weight* until Jason is sighing
out a lot of his air against Bruce's mouth --
Until they're
kissing again, only it's more like being tasted, this time, maybe
*tested*. Bruce is licking his mouth like maybe Jason had blown Tim
while they were out for their run and he *needs* the taste, needs to
have it all over his mouth, his lips and tongue --
He actually
fights a little when Jason starts kissing back, pressing hard and
*holding* his tongue in Jason's mouth when Jason starts pushing and
coaxing --
And then he shudders all over, and Jason's hips pump *completely* without permission --
Bruce
groans and licks the underside of Jason's tongue fast and wet and
sweet, practically *begging* Jason to get his tongue back into Bruce's
mouth, and yeah, he can *absolutely* do that, and hold Bruce's head
while he's doing it, hold Bruce *still* for it --
Bruce
thrusts *hard* against Jason's thigh and shudders again, moves on him
the way he'd once seen Dick moving on Kory, like his whole body needs
this contact, this *touch*. Jason lets go of Bruce's face with one hand
and strokes down to his neck again, teases the back of it with his
fingertips --
Bruce pulls back and pants -- "Not. I want."
"Tell me," Jason says. "The worst I can say is no --"
"Let me taste you, Jay. Let me suck you, and --"
Another
kiss, and this one is harder, almost painful, and Bruce licks Jason's
tongue back into his mouth and sucks again, moves again -- pulls
Jason's hand from the back of his neck and lifts it over Jason's head,
pressing it down against the mats and fuck, it's what Jason's wanted,
what he's been afraid of -- he bucks his hips hard, and for a second he
doesn't know if he's trying to escalate or trying to get Bruce *off*
him --
But Bruce moans again and Jason knows, opens his eyes to
find Bruce staring down at him and looking angry, looking hungry and
needy and just *hot*. Jason thrusts his tongue against the pressure of
Bruce's suck --
Bruce closes his eyes and thrusts against him so smoothly, so --
Like
he was waiting for *just* that, like this is the only way he knows how
to *beg*. Jason strokes down Bruce's arm with his free hand, gets a
*good* grip on his wrist -- the thrusts get harder, and Jason's jock is
starting to be a problem, which means Bruce's jock has to be *killing*
him right now.
He strokes back up to Bruce's shoulder, meaning
to push so he can say something about getting more naked -- Bruce
reacts badly to being pushed like that. Something else. Something -- he
stops thrusting his tongue into Bruce's mouth and bites his lip hard,
instead, pulling back --
"Jay? Do you want me to --"
"No, I -- let's ditch these clothes?"
Bruce pants and closes his eyes, pants and *grinds* against Jason --
"Fuck, c'mon, B --"
"Yes,"
and Bruce rolls up onto his knees and pulls his shirt off -- pauses
with it in his hands, staring into the distance a little --
Oh, yeah. "Tim?"
"Don't mind me," she says, and her voice is low and light at once, like *maybe* she's lying a little, but --
"Tim. Would you like..." Bruce's laugh is soft and cracked. "You find me at a disadvantage."
"You
seemed to be doing quite all right," and her voice is still kind of
weird, but -- oh. It's *formal*, like maybe how she talks to her
teachers or something.
Jason can't *see* her from this position, but he has to move to get his clothes off. He sits up --
Bruce pushes his hand into Jason's hair, *pulls* his head back -- "Not yet. Please."
"Uh -- okay?"
"Bruce. You're hardly being fair," Tim says, and there's something between a laugh and a *growl* in her voice --
And Bruce eyes just *flare*. "I wasn't aware that fairness was a prerequisite for this sort of activity."
"No...? But you can't really expect me to accept ignorance as an *excuse*."
Playing.
They are totally *playing*, and that's fine, that's great, but -- "Uh
-- can we go straight to the part where we're stripping? I kind of need
a *reason* for Bruce to be holding me by the hair."
"Forgive
me," and Bruce kisses him again, a little more gently this time, a
little slower -- like maybe he's gotten some of his control back. A
part of Jason is a little *upset* about that, which is more than enough
reason to push his hands between them, get them on Bruce's chest and
stroke, rub, press and tease those nipples with his thumbs, fucking
*twist* them a little --
Bruce grunts into his mouth -- pulls *back* --
"B --"
"A moment, if you would," Bruce says, and his smile looks like it could slice a fucking *boulder* in half --
"Did you have something in particular you wanted to say...?" Tim, and Jason still can't *see* her --
"Baby, where *are* you?"
"Not quite close enough to smell you, Jay. And enjoying the view."
"I
respectfully suggest that the view could only improve with increased
proximity," Bruce says, staring into Jason's eyes the *whole* time --
and leaning in to lick Jason's *cheek* --
"Hey, there isn't even anything *interesting* there --"
"I've often found the taste of your sweat compelling," she says, and hums a little. "I'm quite sure Bruce feels the same."
Bruce
licks his way to Jason's ear, breathes there and makes Jason *shiver*
-- "She is beautiful," he whispers. "And perhaps it's childish, but I
hope this will convince her to join us more fully..."
Jason snorts. "Jesus, B --"
"Yes, that," he says, and *licks* Jason's ear. "She has a deeply inquisitive mind. And, perhaps, some lingering insecurity --"
Jason grunts. "Shouldn't -- not that --"
Bruce bites his ear lightly. "She wants to tease. I want -- more."
"Uh -- fuck. I'm. I'm too hard to think about this, B --"
"Think
about what?" And Tim *is* closer -- behind Bruce and searching Jason's
face. She looks a little tense and a *lot* curious. Jason reaches out
and she touches his fingertips with her own. Her eyes are hot,
*focused* --
Bruce sighs against Jason's ear and licks again, stabs in with his tongue --
Jason moans and shudders a little. Just -- that *feeling*, wet and *wrong* in his ear, but still so good --
"Jay." Bruce is still *whispering* --
"Bruce, come on --"
"You asked, before, how I would like to please Tim..."
"I did. I really did, but --"
"Jay," Tim says, and drops to her knees, digs her nails in against Jason's *thigh* --
"I know, baby. I know. He's just -- being an *incredible* fucking *tease* -- oh, *fuck* --"
Bruce's hand *in* his shorts, tugging the jock out of the way and *gripping* him --
"Bruce -- oh, fuck, c'mon, just --"
"I would start by spanking her -- exclusively between her legs --"
"Ow -- oh. Jesus. She'd love it --"
Tim *growls*. "*Bruce* --"
"I
believe she would," Bruce says, and Jason can feel his smile against
his ear -- "It's my theory that, if every touch there were to be some
degree of painful, she would be more willing to accept gentler
stimulation, caresses. You never linger when you're touching her
genitals. You become almost... almost brutal..."
"True. So true. Fuck, B, stroke me, squeeze me, *something* --"
Bruce
squeezes him *hard* -- "When I look at her, I tell myself I only want
to touch in the ways she allows, but it's a terrible lie. I want to --
I *long* to lick her penis slowly, to kiss and suck her scrotum. I
would start when she was still soft, perhaps when she was asleep --"
"If. If you'd prefer I go --"
And
he'd known Bruce was fast, but he still has to reel a little when Bruce
pulls away and turns -- Tim is down on the floor beside Jason, pinned
flat on her back and *glaring*.
"Bruce," she says, shifting and moving a little. "Let me --"
"Is there something," Bruce says, and his voice is a low *purr* -- "that you would like to know, Tim?"
Her eyes widen and she blushes, and Jason can *tell* that she's still a little pissed, but she also has Bruce *on* her, and --
"Was there something you wanted to *tell* me...?"
Bruce's smile is another one of those *sharp* ones, and Jason's about to tell him that he looks fucking *deadly*, but --
"I
want to tell you that you're beautiful, Tim. That I've desired you from
the first time I watched you move in the footage of Jason's mask-cam.
That I want to *touch* you, hold you down against the floor, against my
bed --"
*Fuck* --
"Oh. I --"
"No, baby, let him keep *talking*," and Jay strips off his shirt, stands up to ditch his shorts and jock --
Bruce turns to watch him do it, still pinning Tim *down* --
"*Not* goin' anywhere. Seriously, Bruce, tell her more. Tell *me* more --"
"What. What was he saying before?" And Tim's looking back and forth between them.
Bruce
raises an eyebrow at him, like part of him maybe *wants* them to keep
messing with Tim, but -- Jason shakes his head. "He just wanted to make
you come closer, baby --"
"That's *not* all he was saying," she says, and struggles a little beneath Bruce --
Bruce turns back to her. "Perhaps there's something I could do to convince you to stay right there."
Tim narrows her eyes. "Honesty would be a start."
And
the light in Bruce's eyes fades a little, *just* like he's realizing
that he'd pushed her a little too hard. "I'm sorry," he says, and moves
off her.
Tim sits up, still giving Bruce that narrow look, and
-- damn. Jason ditches his shorts and the jock and kneels down next to
her.
"You were playing with Bruce for a little while, there, baby..."
Tim blushes again. "I -- yes. But --"
"But that was kind of mean of him?"
She
looks at Bruce -- who's kneeling a couple of feet away and staring down
at the floor --and frowns. "I shouldn't... It just looked a lot like I
was... a joke," she says. "Perhaps that was unintentional."
Jason
nods and shifts enough that he can jab at Bruce's arm with two fingers
-- Bruce catches Jason's hand before the jab can connect. "Okay, but
look *up*, B."
Sadness, worry, fucking *regret* --
"Oh,"
Tim says. "You're... sorry. And you'll probably never do that again,
and that's -- that makes *me* regret almost as much as it makes me
relieved." She laughs, softly. "One or both of us has too many issues,
Bruce."
"Yeah, *that*. Especially since we were about to have a lot of hot fucking sex."
Bruce
squeezes Jason's hand and smiles ruefully at Tim. "I'm still... feeling
my way. You seemed to be in the mood for that sort of play."
Tim
looks down, but only for a moment. "I was. I am -- I was just. Worried.
I'm afraid I was thinking of you as someone a lot more like the people
I attend school with. Which... is ridiculous," she says, and smiles
ruefully. "It's... too easy to be jealous."
Bruce lets go of Jason's hand. "I confess that I could tell there was some measure of insecurity... I didn't think."
Jason takes a breath. "Okay, you're *both* sorry, and you're both wearing too many *clothes*."
Both
Bruce and Tim look at him -- and look him over, and then look back at
each other, which -- okay, a little intimidating, but only in the ways
his dick really *appreciates*.
"Uh -- kiss and make up?"
Tim's smile slips from rueful to wry, and she reaches toward Bruce, who shifts close enough to grip her wrist.
"May I?" His voice isn't playful at all, anymore, which is a damned *shame*, but --
"Why, I'm sure I don't know, Bruce. I've been sorely abused," she says, and yeah, Tim thinks it's a shame, too.
Bruce raises an eyebrow. "The behavior of amorous men can often be a terrible thing."
Okay, so he could question -- fucking *interrogate*, under hot lights and *with* rubber hoses -- *how* they play, but --
"Oh," Tim says, and lets her hand kind of *droop* beyond the grasp of Bruce's hand. "I've been so naive."
Yeah. *That*. Jason sits back on his heels and tries to look patient.
"A
certain naïveté well suits a proper young lady," and Bruce
lets go of her wrist and kind of trails his fingers against her palm --
"I
do strive to be a credit to my sex," she says, covering her mouth with
her other hand and turning her head away, and *really* --
"Fucking A, you people are *warped*."
Tim's
shoulders hitch a little with the laugh she's not letting out, and
Bruce's smile gets sharp again, *deadly* again -- okay, so his dick
really wants more of that *attention* --
"Tim. If you would, perhaps, consent to be *led*," and he tugs on her fingertips --
"The
guidance of a responsible older man is a pearl beyond price," she says,
and crawls close enough that Bruce can wrap one of his arms around her
waist. He's still holding her fingers with his other hand, and he
brings them to his mouth, kisses them while she looks right into him,
and it looks like she's *completely* focused on his eyes, like nothing
could tear her *away* --
"I promise to never take my
responsibility lightly," and Bruce's voice is deep and serious,
*absolutely* promising, and Jason's starting to wonder, a little, if he
maybe shouldn't start jerking himself off --
"You have more than one. Responsibility, that is."
"I
am a very, very lucky man," Bruce says, leaning in to kiss her softly,
pulling her close -- and closer until she's pressed against him, lifted
an inch or two off the floor --
And *then* Tim reaches out for
him, tilting her head back for Bruce and moaning. It looks good. It
looks *right* again, and maybe Bruce is *just* that good -- able to
take Tim from absolute zero to kissing in the time Jason would take to
piss her off even more.
Wisdom, if not experience. He can *go*
with that. He takes her hand and lets her pull him closer, thinking
about whether he wants to be behind her or beside her or -- something.
Definitely *something*, because Bruce is still kissing her, but he's *also* staring right at Jason, looking him over again --
Tim
bites Bruce's lip and he closes his eyes and hugs her tighter, strokes
her back -- and *right* down to her ass, squeezing hard enough that she
*has* to --
Moan, *right* into Bruce's mouth as she strokes
Jason's arm, grips it and almost kind of starts jerking off his *arm*
-- "Fuck yeah, baby. Wanna touch?"
Another moan, and *she*
opens her eyes, and they're wild and unfocused for a moment before they
settle on him and just fucking *burn*. And that -- yeah. Jason cups the
back of her head and tugs her away from Bruce so he can kiss her
himself, nuzzle her face and lick, fuck her mouth a little bit --
"Jay,"
Bruce says, but it sounds more like Bruce stating a *fact* than it
sounds like him calling Jason for anything. Somewhere in there he lets
go of Tim enough that he can grab *Jason's* ass, let Jason feel what
he's doing to Tim, maybe, let Jason feel what he *wants*.
Tim
makes a high-pitched noise into Jason's mouth and shakes her head,
pulls back and pants, eyes wide, and when Jason looks Bruce has his
hand inside her shorts, fingers pushing down into her cleft and
*moving*. He's still only cupping Jason's ass and massaging a little,
but -- damn.
It's like feeling something huge and important
*shift* inside him, it's -- he *wants*, and when Tim closes her eyes
and moans he fucking *aches*. "Bruce --"
Kissed, hard and a little awkward --
Tim gasps --
Bruce
lets go of Jason's ass and cups the back of his head, instead, turning
him into the kiss and gripping his hair, pushing his tongue into
Jason's mouth and *pulling* his hair, and it's still a little messy,
awkward enough that Jason's groan sounds slurred and *wet* --
"Oh. Oh, Jay, I want to -- *ah* -- *Bruce* --"
Bruce
hums into his mouth, and Jason really wants to know what Tim was about
to *say*, but the kiss is getting harder, pushing Jason a little off
balance and making Jason heat up, need and just --
His skin's
already prickling with fresh sweat, and his body *remembers* the feel
of Bruce on him, the *want*, and hell, *Jason* has free hands. He
pushes and shoves until he can get one hand on Bruce's chest and the
other on Tim's ass --
"Ohn -- fuck, in me, Bruce, *in* me --"
And Tim shouts high and loud, and Jason can *feel* Bruce's hand moving
-- he yanks and fucking tears at Tim's shorts and briefs until they're
down around her thighs, until he can stroke Bruce's hand with his own,
find Bruce's nipple again and twist *hard* --
Bruce grunts and
presses his fingers against Jason's scalp, keeps *kissing*, biting a
little now in between wet sucks, hard *licks* --
"Can't believe
-- ow, I --" Tim laughs and her hand is fumbling a little on Jason's
shoulder, stroking over to his ear and down his throat and *back* to
his shoulder before squeezing -- "God, that *hurts* -- no, don't stop
yet, don't --"
Jason groans and opens his eyes -- Bruce is staring *into* him, eyes so hungry he looks *pissed*, and that --
Jason closes his eyes again and rubs Tim's ass, pulls and pinches Bruce's nipple and gives him a little of his fingernail --
Bruce *narrows* his eyes --
Tim *shouts* --
Bruce
pulls back and kisses Tim again, holding Jason still by the hair and
*fucking* her with -- one finger. *Just* one, and no way she can take
more. She has to be raw as *hell*, but she's flushed right down to
somewhere under her shirt and rocking back onto Bruce's finger --
Sliding her hand down Jason's chest --
*Clawing* her way down Jason's chest, and that's so good he has to moan again --
Tim's
yell this time is growling and *loud*, because Bruce had pulled back
and pulled *out*, but she gets a *hard* fucking grip on Jason's dick --
"Jason," she says, to Bruce --
"*Agreed*."
And the next thing Jason knows is that he's on his *back*, quads screaming a little about the stretch --
Bruce pulls Jason's legs out straight and then *licks* his way up from Jason's calf to his thigh --
Tim's
kissing him, shoving down against his shoulders and fucking his mouth
with her tongue, and that's just fucking fine. That's -- Bruce's mouth
on his thighs, one and the other and then back again, kissing and
sucking like maybe the best reason to give Jason tights was to be able
to mark him *up* a little. Jason moans into Tim's mouth and rears up
into the kiss a little --
She growls and *bounces* his
shoulders against the floor before gripping Jason's face, and he can
guess what's making her this wild, making her need to let Batgirl out a
little. It's not all that good -- he should've *known* not to let Bruce
poke at her issues like that --
And maybe she can tell he's not
focusing, because she *pulls* his head back down to the floor and bites
his lower lip like she's planning to take it with her when she breaks
the kiss.
Okay, he can stay put. He can --
"*Fuck*,"
he says, slurred and messy, because Bruce is *biting* his thighs now,
in lines that will probably turn out to be ruler fucking straight --
Bruce spreads his thighs *wider*, and Jason bucks, Tim lets go of his
lip and bites all over his *face*, instead, digging her teeth in
against Jason's cheekbone, scraping them over his temple, biting that
never-fucking-healing bruise on his jaw --
Bruce is *sucking* and biting --
"Fuck, baby, tell me -- tell me what you're gonna do to me?"
"What
I *want*," she says, and shoves her hands into his hair, pulls *hard*
until Jason tilts his head back and she can go for his neck.
He
*doesn't* like this as much as she does, but that's a lot like saying
that he likes his dick played with more than she does -- fucking
*useless* comparison, especially once she starts tracing patterns with
her tongue --
No, that's Bruce, and he's making Jason's thighs *shake* --
No,
that's both of them, completely fucking synched up and -- taking him.
*Fucking* him, even though neither of them have really *gone* for his
ass, yet --
Will they? Will -- Jesus, he can *feel* it, that
ache inside that always meant some part of him was *ready* to get
fucked, and there's the shame that goes with it, the *anger* that makes
him reach for Tim and get his shoulders bounced off the floor again --
She
wants him to be *still*. And he -- he can be. He *can*, it's just that
he's fucking *needy* right now, sweating enough to give both of them a
little salt on their tongues, so fucking *hard* --
"Touch me. Just -- one of you, grab my fucking *dick* --"
"Not
*yet*," Tim says, and she's licking Jason's ear, the same one Bruce was
whispering into. *She's* not whispering, and he knows the moment Bruce
understood her -- as opposed to just hearing her -- by the way his
hands just *stop* at the place where Jason's thighs meet his torso.
"*Fuck*, baby, *please* --"
"You can't take it, Jay?"
"I
--" A dare, and he can't *not* answer it, fucking *live* it -- "I can
take it," he says, and pretty much *immediately* moans, because she's
fucking his ear with her tongue and *moving* on him, grinding down with
her hips --
She's straddling him too far *up*, and God, she doesn't work her hips like that *enough*, not unless someone's *inside* her --
"Jesus, don't *waste* that, baby --"
"I'm
not wasting *anything*," she says, and scratches her way down Jason's
cheeks, down his throat -- *squeezes* his throat, and the shock makes
him buck again --
Bruce *moans*, pants -- "Tim. I want. I'd like to --"
"Not
*yet*," she says again, and kisses Jason like the hottest punishment in
the world, *taking* again, and it's starting to be a tease, starting to
*force* Jason to think about all the things she *won't* do. He's
begging into her mouth as she kisses, as she squeezes and grinds and
*kisses* -- break. "I know what you want, Jay."
"Yeah. *Fuck*, yeah --"
"I
can't always --" She growls again and shakes her head. "I'll give it to
you. Right now," she says, and moves off him. "Let him get up onto his
knees, Bruce."
"Are you quite sure I can't convince you --"
"*Now*," and her voice is like a shot, like a -- okay, *not* a whipcrack, but it fucking well makes Bruce *move*.
Jason sits up in time to watch the end of him staring at her, watch his eyes fucking *burn* --
"You'll
*get* what you want, Bruce," she says, and turns back to Jason, pulls
his head down and kisses him again -- *bites* him. "Up on your knees."
And
maybe he's reeling a little bit, because he can't fucking *remember*
being this hard without a little direct *touch*, and -- God. He can
smell her and he can smell *Bruce*, but mostly he can smell himself,
sweat and sex-funk, and that sound he keeps hearing is his own moan. "I
-- please, Tim --"
"I've got you," and she slips around behind him and bites the back of his neck --
Jason
moans again and tries to think of something to do with his hands, tries
to find something that at least looks a *little* like control --
"Jay," Bruce says, and somehow he's kneeling in front of Jason, cupping his face.
"Yeah, B...? I... uh -- fuck, Tim, your *mouth* --"
She bites him *harder*, hums against his skin and licks, quick and wet, sucks --
"Jay,
you look..." Bruce shakes his head and kisses him slowly, gently -- too
fucking *sweet*, only Tim's raking her nails up and down Jason's back,
Tim's reaching down to cup his ass --
*Please*, only Bruce is
still kissing him so it only sounds like noise, Bruce is -- God, it
feels like he's tasting Jason's *need*, like it's something that can
coat his mouth, slide through every part of him --
His palms
ache with the need to *touch*, and -- Bruce is right there. He fumbles
a little when he goes for Bruce's waist, brushes his knuckles against
the skin there, feels Bruce's warmth and wants more, wants touch. Bruce
pulls back --
"Please, B. God, she's -- I --"
"Is it a tease, Jay?"
"Yes. No. Fuck, I -- oh, *fuck* --"
She's
still biting his *neck*, but her hand is in his cleft, her fingers are
*slick* -- she hums against his neck and lets go, licks over the tooth
marks until Jason is shuddering --
"You. You sure, baby? You want --"
"Just my fingers, Jay. For now," she says, and Jason nods, tries to fight back the disappointment --
And
then doesn't *have* to try, because she's sliding her fingers over
Jason's hole again and again, pushing a little more every time she
strokes over the pucker, and Jason *grips* Bruce to keep from reaching
for himself. She doesn't want him to come that way, or maybe just not
to come *yet* --
"Jay," and Bruce is still looking into him,
seeing absolutely *everything*, and Jason feels a lot like a kid --
just in a different way. Right now, he's the kid staring up at Bruce
and listening to him explain some rule or fact or matter of fucking
Gotham penal *law*, trying to understand and feeling stupid and slow,
like any minute Bruce is going to figure out he's got the wrong kid.
So
*much* of that back then, and it didn't matter what Bruce said or what
Alfred did. He was just that helpless and *lost* -- if not hard enough
to fucking hurt something, starting with himself. Just -- *damn*, and
Jason has to laugh a little, moan when it comes out breathless and
*needy* --
"Tim. He needs -- I think Jason needs --"
"He can take it. Can't you, Jay?"
Jason
closes his eyes and nods, tries to stroke Bruce as much as he's
clutching him -- "I. You know what I need, baby. You always *know* --"
"Not
always. But I'm good at educated guesses," she says, and leans in to
just *breathe* against the back of Jason's neck, and that's just --
"Fuck. Fuck, Tim, I -- wanna be on my knees for you --"
"You *are*."
"No, I -- bent over something, maybe, holding myself open for you --"
"Oh, yes...?" He can *hear* the smile in Tim's voice, and it's vicious and fucking *hot* --
"I don't know -- please, baby, fuck me a little, always wanted -- you know what I *want* --"
"Bruce," she says, *right* against the wet spot on Jason's neck -- "You're going to suck him --"
And
Jason tries to bite back the groan just for that, just for -- fuck,
Bruce *on* him, and he could have that right now. He *will* have it
*soon* --
"Tell me when, Tim," and Bruce's voice sounds like
'yes' and sounds like 'now' and sounds a *lot* like 'hurry the hell
*up*,' which is something Jason can *relate* to, only --
That
push. That -- two fingers, not one, and it's slow and fucking
*ruthless*. Jason squeezes Bruce's sides hard and thinks about the last
time someone had -- no, it's her, it's -- "Talk to me, baby. Just --
let me hear you --"
"You're *tight*," she says, and licks his neck again. "Hot inside. It feels like you're trying to keep me *out* --"
"No. No, I'm -- please don't *stop*, Tim --"
"I
won't. Not now. You're..." Tim's laugh is rueful and quiet. "I don't
know why it surprises me how much you want this, considering the fact
that I want this from you every *day* --"
"Always, Tim, you can always -- oh fuck, *fuck*, don't --"
She
freezes inside him, and when he opens his eyes, Bruce is searching him
*hard*, trying to figure this out so he won't make the same mistake
when it's his turn, maybe.
Jason gasps, tries to catch his breath -- "Just -- not my prostate, baby, not yet, I can't --"
"You
just want to feel me thrusting, Jay? I can *do* that," she says, and
then she's fucking him with her fingers, one thrust after another until
Jason's moaning constantly, sweat all over his skin, stinging his eyes
a little --
He can't *focus*, but he knows Bruce is still
searching him for cues and clues, for the moment when he can fucking
*have* him -- "I -- God, you -- tell me you like this, Tim, tell me
you'll do it *again* --"
"*Yes*," she says. "I -- you said you'd do anything for me, Jay --"
"I would. I *will*, just -- fucking *God*, baby, your fingers are so *hard* --"
"*Jay*,"
and that was Bruce -- Jason had closed his eyes again at some point,
and he opens them again. His vision is going a little wild on him, like
he's maybe using too *much* of his brain just to feel Tim fucking him,
making him slick, open -- *Bruce*, right there and showing his *teeth*
a little.
"It's -- this is getting you hot, B --"
"*Yes*. I want to see everything, every moment. I want to *feel* --"
"Wait your *turn*," Tim says, fucking *Batgirl* says, because there's a tease there for both of them --
"Tim. Tell me -- Jay's *scent* --"
"He
smells wonderful. This is the scent I've become accustomed to falling
asleep to, this is the *heat* --" She pants and growls again, *twists*
her fingers --
Jason shouts and lets his head fall back --
And Bruce kisses his throat so hard that Jason thinks it's a bite at first and tenses for the pain that doesn't come --
"Clenched around me. So *tight*, Jay -- you're making me want to. Want to be *inside* you --"
"*Please*," he says, and he can feel his dick twitching, feel himself leaking pre-come fucking steadily --
"I
think. I think it would *hurt*," Tim says, and she sounds shocked,
horny and fucking *incredulous* -- Bruce pulls back and pants against
Jason's throat, licks him there and up to his ear --
"Tim," Bruce says. "He wants so *much* --"
"And you've been *waiting*. Yes, I know, Bruce, but you have to understand that Jason *likes* to hurt this way, that --"
"Better," Jason says, *squeezing* his eyes shut. "Makes it better, makes me *harder* --"
"Please," and Bruce cups Jason's shoulders. "Please, I need --"
"Soon,"
Tim says, and Jason wants to thank her, wants to kiss her and fuck her
and suck her, *that*, something -- something in his *mouth*, and his
arms *and* hands are clumsy and next to useless, but he still manages
to grab one of Bruce's hands and bring it to his mouth --
"Oh. Jay. Will you suck?"
He's too slow getting Bruce's fingers into his mouth, and so the whimper is loud and fucking *obvious* --
Tim moans --
Bruce's hands *shake* --
Jason
sucks and lets his eyes roll back into his head. Just -- he'd had
Bruce's fingers in his mouth last night, he'd sucked off his and Tim's
come, had *control* enough to do it a little slow and *savor* it. Now
-- he can taste his own *dick* on Bruce's fingers, and he's moaning for
it, drooling for it like maybe it's Bruce's or Tim's --
He's
fucking *desperate*, and Tim just keeps fucking him, a nasty little
corkscrewing *thrust* that he's working his hips for, that he needs
*more* of. No one had ever --
It's never been like *this*, so
ruthless and so *sweet*, and Jason knows that part of that is the fact
that Tim really *could* just keep doing this forever and ignore her own
dick, but some of it is just that it's good, that it's --
A
burn, deep pressure -- a little stretch and the sense that it could be
more, that he could be *full*. Outside it's all about being them, about
knowing that Bruce is watching him like there's nothing else in the
world, that Tim is laser-focused on what she's doing, that she won't
stop until he tells her to, and maybe not until he *begs* --
"Jay, I'm going to crook my fingers."
Oh, God. Oh, *fuck* -- he nods and Bruce moans, strokes Jason's arms restlessly --
*Bright* heat, pleasure so fucking --
So --
He
could come from this, untouched. He could -- it would fucking *break*
him. He can't even *see* himself after this, can't imagine --
So
*good*, and she's doing it steadily, now, pushing up for every thrust,
and Jason can't suck, anymore. He's panting and drooling around Bruce's
fingers, trying to remember not to bite *down* --
"You are... incredible like this," she says, thoughtful and *wondering*. "I never thought -- Bruce, *now*."
And Jason feels himself shuddering all over -- and he cries out when Bruce takes his fingers away, *clutches* Bruce's hand --
"Oh. Jay --" Bruce groans and pushes his fingers back in, and then he shifts, moves back --
Bends
*down*, and that's Bruce's other hand on his hip, and that's Bruce's
mouth pressed to the head of his dick, Bruce's lips dragging back and
forth, Bruce's *cheek*. And Jason can't keep himself from trying to
imagine it, four years wanting *this* and convinced he'd never have it.
Four years dealing with Jason *teasing* him and running off to fuck
high school girls before Tim came along, and then going on and on
nearly every night about her, about how much he *wanted* --
And
then he *can't* think, because Bruce has the head in his mouth, because
Bruce is sucking *lightly*, holding his mouth there for Jason to fuck
with every buck of his hips, every --
Tim presses up *hard*,
and the sound Jason makes doesn't even sound *human*. He's shuddering
again and fucking *gnawing* on Bruce's fingers. He's sweating and
groaning and he can't stop *moving*, can't stop --
Bruce
*swallows* him, and it's tight, so tight and *hot*, so *perfect*, and
it's Bruce. Bruce's lips, Bruce's tongue, Bruce's *throat*, and the
feel of him swallowing, over and over --
Wet sounds from the
front *and* the back, and Tim is pressed as close as she can get and
still keep thrusting, arm wrapped around Jason's chest and head on his
shoulder. It -- she's *watching* Bruce do this, and maybe Bruce is
looking up at her, telling her something about how Jason tastes --
He needs --
Jason sucks *hard* on Bruce's fingers, and Bruce takes it as an *order*. Bruce --
*Tim*, playing with his fucking *nipple*, tugging on it in time with her thrusts, and he's choking off Bruce's moan, he's --
God,
the *feel*, a buzz in his skin and that pressure, that knot around the
base of his spine, so tight he can't think anymore, can't do anything
but suck and moan and fuck.
It's all he's good for right now,
and so it's a damned good thing that it's all they apparently *want*
from him. He *knew* it would be like this if she ever fucked him, it's
just that he'd thought he'd need her *dick* first, that he'd be able to
handle it if she ever pushed a finger up his ass just to see --
Just to --
He
knows this is an *experiment* for her, or something like it, that she
just doesn't *think* this way when it comes to sex, and maybe that's
part of what's making him so crazy right now -- the knowledge that,
when it comes right down to it, she might decide that this *doesn't* do
it for her.
He has to get this while he *can*. Take it and *feel* it with all of himself --
With all of himself that isn't being given to Bruce right now, that Bruce isn't taking right down his *throat*. He needs --
He
lets go of Bruce's hand and grabs his head, instead, mussing Bruce's
hair and feeling the sweat from his scalp, pushing through and trying
not to pull too hard, trying --
Bruce bares his fucking *teeth*, and Jason bites down hard on his fingers --
Tim growls out and thrusts *harder*, fucking *punching* her way in --
In --
No, not yet, not -- he doesn't want this to *stop* --
"Come,
Jay," and Tim's lips are pressed to his ear. "Bruce would prefer you
keep fucking his mouth for... oh, hours, probably, but *I* need you to
come."
Jason whimpers again, shakes his head and clenches --
She *hisses* --
That
fucking *burn*, pulsing through his body in waves, slicing through him
with every thrust into Bruce's mouth, against his *teeth* --
"*Come*," and she *bites* his ear, crooks her fingers --
Gone,
everything at once. It's just him and the *blast* of feeling, and the
way it centers itself and makes him pulse and spill, shudder and *yell*
--
"Good boy..."
And for a moment it feels like it'll
just go on forever, that he'll be *trapped* in the pleasure until he's
a gibbering fucking *wreck*. Worse than that --
Better --
And
Jason knows it'll be over much too soon, and knows that he's on his
knees with his head thrown back, that he's holding on to Bruce's
fingers with his teeth, that Bruce is pulling *back* --
Moaning, or someone is, someone --
Slammed
back into his body with a jerk, and he's panting and still
*whimpering*. Tim's not moving her fingers, anymore, but Bruce is still
trying to *suck* him. "Nothing -- nothing left," he says, and tugs on
Bruce's hair --
He gets exactly *nowhere* with that, and this
time the whimper is all about *pain*, the kind that fucking *unmans*
you, because there's nothing you can do about it --
"Bruce -- *please* --"
Bruce
growls and *yanks* himself back, sitting up on his knees -- his eyes
are squeezed shut and *he's* shaking. He's still wearing his shorts,
and the jock has to be fucking *murder*. Hell, Tim's still *fully*
dressed, pressed close and -- kissing Jason's ear softly.
Jason
reaches up and grabs the arm she has around his chest, reaches up and
back and pets her hair. "Bruce. Baby. That was fucking incredible."
Tim's pressed close enough that he can *feel* her smile against his ear, but Bruce's hands are fisted at his sides --
"I think," she says, "that Bruce could use some attention."
Jason grins, letting it be as lazy and wide as it wants to be. "You always were the smart one, baby."
"Mm. I'm going to pull out."
"Yeah,
okay, just gimme a sec," and Jason evens out his breathing a little
more -- tries to. It's hard to do when Bruce looks like *that*. "B, you
wanna... uh."
Stay right there on his knees, looking like he
hasn't had sex since sometime before Jason was *born*, and never mind
this morning *or* last night.
"Okay, then," Jason says, and
closes his eyes against it until he *can* breathe a little easier --
and wince when Tim pulls out. It doesn't hurt so much as it feels like
it *should* hurt. In one way or another. It *shouldn't*, though, and
that enough to keep his breathing steady right up until he opens his
eyes and Bruce --
Bruce has his eyes open, and he's looking at
both of them. Tim tugs against the hold Jason has on her arm and pulls
back -- Bruce's eyes track her and then go right back to Jason.
"You know, B, you're really gonna have to... uh. We're *here*, you --"
"Yes.
You're here. And you... I've tasted you now. I honestly thought that
would soothe some part of me," Bruce says, and flexes his bitten
fingers. "I will never --" He shakes his head. "Jay, Tim. What would
you have of me?"
Never... what? Be soothed? Let them go?
Finish an important *sentence*? Jason shakes it off internally and
turns back to check on Tim. She's standing up and stripping down, and
Jason's up to help before the thought actually gets a chance to form in
his brain.
She laughs when he helps her pull the t-shirt off,
and that makes kissing her more important than anything else for a few
moments, including getting her shorts off. She'd *fucked* him, and at
least part of her *wanted* it, and wants to do more --
God, he
*wants* more. Right *now*, even, but he'll settle for her laughing into
his mouth and tugging on his hair. She's happy, *he's* happy, and if
Bruce wasn't there he'd pick her up and carry her for a while. She
probably wouldn't let him get her up the stairs that way, but --
He
feels *good*, and he knows she knows it. She's stroking his cheek with
one hand and kind of *coiling* his hair around the fingers of her other
hand, twisting and tugging here, there -- okay, so he's *really* going
to need to *wash* his hair before too much more time has passed, but he
can fucking live with being the dirty boy, right now and for-fucking
ever. He spins her around a little bit and gets nipped --
"Bruce," she says, and turns away from him. "You should tell us what you *want* --"
"Both of you find that sort of conversation... easier, than I do."
"You
didn't let me finish," and Tim twists out of Jason's grip and kind of
*prowls* over to Bruce, putting a hand on her hip and staring down at
him. "You should tell me what you want... so I can decide whether or
not you're going to *get* it."
Oh... damn. He'd thought she
was *done* with that. He'd really -- usually when she's laughing in his
arms, it means it's time for *him* to start doing some pushing, but
she's just standing there hipshot, wearing nothing but her shorts and
her jock...
*Is* she hard?
How hard *would* she hit him if he went for her cock right now?
And
how is *Bruce* dealing with this? Jason walks over beside her,
carefully *not* reaching out to touch her this time -- possibly she was
just letting him *celebrate*, before -- and Bruce is staring up at her
like she's the goddess who'd just pissed him *off*.
It's not like he doesn't think Bruce could take on a deity and probably do pretty well in the final score tally --
"You
*were* talking about what you'd like to do to me to Jason earlier," she
says, and reaches out to cup Bruce's chin. "If it helps, think of it as
an *order*."
And Bruce's expression kind of... shifts, anger becoming something like a *mean* amusement --
"Oh, you don't want to fight me on this, Bruce. You *want* what I can give you --"
"I'm *not* Jason, Tim."
She shows her teeth. It *is* a smile, but that part seems almost like a fucking *afterthought*.
"Uh... B. You *know* you'd --"
She puts up a hand to stop him. She doesn't *look* at him, but --
"Bruce," she says, and scratches his jaw and throat *slowly*. "While it's true that we may judge you for your desires --"
"That *isn't* the problem," Bruce says, uncurling his fists and resting his hands on his thighs.
"Do you honestly expect me to believe that it's simple embarrassment? A desire to retain an *appropriate* distance?"
"Tim."
And
*that* was a warning. Enough of one that Jason's wondering if the next
thing Tim says will wind up with her pinned and pissed *off* again --
She tilts her head to the side and strokes up over Bruce's chin to his mouth. Bruce shudders and Jason *tenses* --
Bruce doesn't move.
"Was it something involving my genitals, Bruce? You seem... fascinated by my reticence."
Jason
thinks *hard* about just *telling* her what Bruce had said, but he
*knows* that Bruce doesn't want him to -- not *now*, anyway. And it's
not what *Tim* wants, either --
"Jason has been quite fixated on improving my attitude toward that sort of touch, while you have merely been... greedy."
"I didn't --" Bruce frowns and looks away.
Tim
sighs and nods. "You've sinned in your mind. Does the guilt truly
bother you, or are you just impatient with this line of conversation?
We could change the subject."
Bruce doesn't say a word, but his breathing is audible now, *rough* --
"Bruce.
A very intelligent woman once explained to me that our desires will
remain fulfilled only in the realm of fantasy if we don't own up to
them, and admit them where there seems to be... will. And I? Have a
great deal of will."
Motion -- much too fast to track, and Tim
is straddling Bruce's lap, bent backwards and held *still*. Jason can
see the tension in the arm Bruce has around her back from here, and
he's glaring at her pretty damned *hard* --
"Do *not* pretend that you wouldn't prefer *this*, Tim."
Tim cocks her head to the *other* side. "If we're talking about preferences, Bruce... I asked first."
And
Bruce keeps glaring for a *long* moment, long enough that Jason's
starting to really *feel* the fact that he's the only one naked --
Bruce *crushes* her against his body hard enough to make her gasp -- and then relaxes his grip and closes his eyes.
Jason moves enough that he can see *Tim's* eyes -- they're bright and fucking avid. *Waiting* --
"I want -- I want to have you in my mouth, Tim," Bruce says, and opens his eyes again. "I would -- surprise you --"
"*Take* me unawares...?"
"*Yes*."
"That's not going to happen today, Bruce. Choose again."
*
Jason
makes a soft noise that sounds a little like shock. It's possible that
she's projecting more than a little bit, though -- she's not sure how
she'd managed to pull this off as much as she *has*.
Just -- Jason is one thing, one beautiful and perfect --
He'd felt so *good* inside, so hot and tight around her fingers, clenching around her fingers --
And
Bruce is warm against her. Almost *hot*. They're chest to chest, and if
he's thinking about the breasts she currently has tucked away in *two*
different drawers, now...
No, he's thinking about her, and
looking at her like he wants to shake her and like he wants to eat her
*alive*. And he still hasn't told her whatever fantasy it was that had
made Jason say "she'd love it." It *wasn't* having Bruce's mouth on her
-- Jason knows her well enough for that -- so... what?
A part
of her really just needs to *know*, and she'd be lying to herself if
she even tried to think that that wasn't part of what's letting her
*do* this. Bruce *whispering* to Jason, touching him *just* like they'd
been partners for years and *could* have this, too.
Bruce --
he'd known she'd be jealous and a little hurt and he'd done it
*anyway*, and yes, the part which needs to know is much, much smaller
than the part which needs to make him *pay*, at least a little.
Forgiving has very, very little to do with forgetting. She shifts on
Bruce's lap, doing it slowly enough that even the jock won't protect
him from how it feels.
It's certainly not protecting *her*,
but Babs, Dinah, *and* Selina had all been quite fond of the concept of
'no pain, no gain.' When her knees are planted comfortably to either
side of Bruce's thighs, she reaches up to cup his face again.
"Well...?"
Bruce's jaw is tight with tension against her
fingers, and she rubs it, a little. And -- something about that makes
his eyes soften, a little. If it gets him closer to owning *up* --
"You
were beautiful over the horse, Tim. Wild, yet accepting. Welcoming and
abandoned, at once," he says, and leans fractionally closer.
A *request* for a kiss, and that's much better than what he'd been doing before --
"I'd
like to take this moment to agree whole-fucking-heartedly with B,
baby," and Jason is close enough to touch -- but only if she takes her
hand from Bruce's face.
"Good to know," she says, and strokes Bruce's cheekbone with her thumb. "That's done for the day."
"Only for the day...?" There's a smile in Bruce's voice, apologetic and hopeful at once.
Is *that* what he'd wanted? What Jason had thought she'd enjoy? She can't *quite* tell. "Would you usurp Jason's position?"
"I'd ask to take his place for a time. I..." Bruce sighs and leans in another fraction of an inch --
Tim pushes him back with the hand on his face --
Bruce
nods. "All right. Yes, I -- I would *hurt* you, Tim. Your penis and
your scrotum. I would make your skin sensitive enough that every touch
would be..." Bruce frowns and turns away again, resisting Tim's efforts
to keep him facing forward.
Look at *me* -- no. That won't work. She eases the pressure on Bruce's face and strokes at the places which must be sore, now --
Bruce shivers and swallows.
"Jesus, baby --"
"Wait,"
she says to Jason, and touches the healing cut at the corner of Bruce's
mouth. It should be in better shape than it is, but they haven't
exactly been treating it as well as they could.
It must look
like a *target* to Gotham's criminal element. Any number of them
must've aimed for it last night -- and left themselves open for
devastating body blows. She thinks about leaning in to kiss it, but
Bruce is a little too close to the edge for that sort of treatment now.
Instead, she strokes the skin around it lightly and squeezes Bruce's
thighs with her knees.
"I'll let you do it one day, Bruce. Jason is right -- I'd enjoy it a great deal."
Jason moans and shifts in the corner of her vision --
Bruce opens his mouth and pants twice before closing it again and turning back to face her.
Tim nods and strokes his cheek, pushes her hand up into his hair. "Good boy."
His eyes *flare* -- "What do you want."
"More, Bruce. If we're going to do this, we have to be as open with each other as we can --"
"That *isn't* the rationale behind... this."
Tim
smiles. "No...? Perhaps not. But it's true, just the same. It's also
true that you want to be... led, just a little. You put a great deal of
time and effort into showing us just how *weak* you are, parading your
lack of control in front of us like a truly beautiful new dress."
"An interesting analogy," Bruce says, but the tease in his voice is aimed badly, and lacks the force he *could* bring to bear.
"Don't
fight me. Not for this. You want someone else to be the strong one, to
be the one in *control*. More than that -- you *need* it, or you
wouldn't have been begging for it in every indirect way you could find
--"
"Tim. If you're going to tell me what I supposedly --"
It's a stretch, but she can get her hand around the front of Bruce's throat *enough*. "Ask. For. It."
"Fucking *A*," Jason says, and the *wonder* in his voice is...
Very, very inspiring. "Now, Bruce. Or I walk away and take Jason with me." If she can. If --
He
sees what she's not saying, and that's *problematic*, but Jason isn't
protesting. He *knows* she's right, or at the very least that she
*needs* this -- Bruce needs it, too.
She lets go of him with her knees and starts backing away --
"Please," Bruce says. "Please -- don't."
Tim raises an eyebrow. "Why?"
His nostrils flare and he's glaring again, jaw *tense* again --
"*Say* it, Bruce --"
"You doubt your own power, but you'll use it just the same. You don't wish to be cruel, but you'll do *that* just the same --"
"Profile me *later* --"
"*Take*
me," Bruce *grits*, grabbing her hips and pulling her in close again,
nuzzling her face with his nose -- no, dragging it over her face, down
to just above her mouth before breathing in -- "*Use* me. For your
pleasure. For -- Jay. What he wants. What he *must* take from me --"
Tim
licks a stripe up over Bruce's face, stabs at the cut and turns her
head enough to bite his jaw, right at the place where the best punches
can drop a man, right where she's marked Jason time and time again --
Bruce *thrusts* up against her and squeezes her hips --
"Let go," she says, quiet and *hard* --
And Bruce almost *yanks* his hands away from her, curling them into fists and dropping them to his sides.
Tim nods and pushes on his jaw, forcing him to tilt his head back and to the side. She leans in -- and thinks about it. "Jay."
"*Right* fucking here, baby, *Jesus*."
More
wonder in his voice, more of the sort of shock he'd call
'cock-dumbness,' and the blush is *late*, but very much there. It's --
she can see Bruce's pulse, fast and strong. She can smell him and his
*arousal*.
She'd just *pushed* him -- she's not done. "Bite him," she says, and rests a finger on his pulse point. "Here."
"Anything you *say*," and he moves up close, resting a hand between her shoulder blades and leaning in -- pausing. "Hard?"
"Oh
-- yes," and she stands up, pushing down on the part of her *only*
thinking about Bruce's lap, about everything Bruce could -- *would* --
do to her, for her --
She stands *up*, and locks her knees
against the sound of Bruce's *grunt*, the sight of him with his mouth
open, the sight of him licking his lips and *panting* for the feel of
Jason's bite, or maybe the way he's groaning while he does it.
Bruce's
hands are still down at his sides, but... *but*. "Alternate with
sucking. Leave a *big* mark," she says, and forces herself to walk
away.
She's not going far -- she *knows* she's not going far,
but suddenly the jock she's wearing is *torture*, and not just in the
way where she'd prefer to be wearing a gaff. She laughs at herself
internally -- she couldn't manage any other way --
Bruce *moans* from behind her and she walks *faster*, and definitely doesn't turn around to look -- to *see* --
The
uniforms and supplies are exactly where they always are, and even
though they really couldn't have gotten to be anywhere else in the time
since she's last been there, it's still a relief. It's still -- well,
she's going to *do* this, and so she needs all the help in the form of
basic Cave-universal truths she can *get*. She pulls a zip-strip from
her supply and takes a breath. Just -- breathes, and --
Is Jason still biting and sucking at Bruce's throat? Is he doing anything --
Would
he maybe want her to back away, a little? Leave them this? If *Jason*
had been the one pushing Bruce to admit what he wanted, Bruce wouldn't
have put up as much of a fight. Or -- maybe?
She runs the
zip-strip between her fingers once, again, coils it around her wrist --
tries to *think*. Bruce *would've* given in to Jason, but for this?
This need to be taken and, perhaps, somewhat *owned*?
Isn't that more shameful than all the rest? Not for *Jason* -- not with *her*, anyway -- but... but.
A
part of her is back in the moments after pulling out of Jason, getting
spun around and kissed, held -- he was so *happy*, and she'd given him
that. Bruce had most likely been the one to *get* Jason to the point
where he was able to come, but she'd given him... a lot more than her
fingers. He --
("I'm *all* yours, baby.")
That had been
a lie, but a well-meant one, and -- not entirely a lie. She swallows
against the thing inside her, the knowledge of Jason's love for her
that's always going to make her feel *just* this scared, just this
beautiful, just --
Even after he doesn't love her, anymore, and -- she's not thinking about that, now, she --
("You're no good to anyone.")
Barbara.
Barbara would *approve* of this, in that way where she disapproves of
the forest but still finds some of the individual trees well worth the
time and effort it took to grow them. Batgirl should *always* take
control, whether or not it's what she wants... the most.
And walking back would be a lot easier if she didn't want it to *some* extent. As it is --
As
it is, Jason's hand is moving on Bruce's chest, stroking and petting
and *soothing* even as he bites and sucks, *works* Bruce's throat --
She feels herself *twitch*, feels herself shudder and fucking *repress*, again --
One
day she's going to have to actually *talk* to Barbara about her issues
with her body. She doesn't have *that* kind of experience, but maybe --
maybe she'd know something, or say something which would finally make
it easy for her to do this:
Push her shorts down and remove the jock, *stand* there looking ridiculous --
Bruce
looks up at her, and his expression -- he looks lost, hungry, *hurt*.
He *needs*, and she'd already confessed -- to *him* -- what that does
to her. She doesn't need to confess to herself, and Batgirl would --
Batgirl
strokes a line down the center of Tim's chest that Bruce follows with
his gaze. His knuckles are showing *white* in those fists, and Jason is
making small noises, helpless noises of want, of need.
And maybe they *don't* need her, but the want is there, and she knows exactly how to take advantage of that. "Jay. Stop."
Jason's
hand freezes on Bruce's chest and he makes another noise against
Bruce's throat -- pulls back and pants, torso hitching --
"Stand up, Bruce."
Another
flare in his eyes, a burn she can feel, a touch she could have if she
just asked for it -- and she probably wouldn't have to do it in words,
even now --
"Do it."
He does, graceful and massive,
perfect everywhere he isn't scarred, and where he is -- perfect isn't
even a consideration. He's *Batman* -- but not right now.
She
nods and runs the zip-strip between her fingers again. He knows what
it's for -- and Jason does, too, when he turns to look at her. His eyes
get just that *wide*, and oh, she'd seen them in so many pictures --
Barbara had shared that with her, and there was always a moment to be
startled, to *stare* at those eyes. Such a *deep* blue, so large and
bright, fringed with long, curling lashes...
Tim laughs at herself again and lets the smile part of it out --
"Fuck, baby, are you gonna --"
"Strip, Bruce."
"So *that* was a yes. I'm just gonna stay right here, on my knees, in case there's *anything* you'd like me to do --"
"I'll
keep you informed," she says, and watches Bruce, watches his hands
fumble, slightly, at the waistband of his shorts before he pushes them
down. Briefs and jock, too, and his penis is dark and slick.
Mouthwatering,
if she's honest with herself, and -- there's nothing to say she can't
just stare. It suits this *to* stare, to take all of Bruce in --
perhaps in a way he'd find familiar from the other side. When she meets
his eyes again... his pupils are blown. At this distance, she can't see
any blue, at all.
A part of her thinks his eyes should always
be this dark, that he shouldn't ever be *allowed* to have control over
himself, because he doesn't know what to *do* with it --
Jason swallows with an audible click. "Baby --"
"Soon," she says, and, "turn around and hold your wrists together, Bruce."
He
moves slowly, but he *moves*, and -- what would this be like for her?
If she'd had to ask for what she wanted for more than just those times
when she needed Jason to touch her penis? If they'd ever asked her to
*display* herself when she wasn't being beautiful, being *correct* --
"I
-- I'm enjoying the way your muscles move, Bruce. The tension in your
shoulders and neck, the way that scar on your right trapezius seems to
pull almost painfully..."
"It's. There's no discomfort," he says, offering and -- asking. For more.
Tim
moves close and hands the zip-strip to Jason so she can grip his wrists
with both hands. "You're a beautiful man. Staggeringly so. I remember
watching you with Jason from across a dozen crowded rooms, wondering if
you'd ever let your gaze fall on me for more than a moment..."
"Jesus. Yeah, he *knew*. And didn't fucking *tell* me --"
"You never." Bruce exhales and swallows. "You always wanted me to keep the secret, Jay. Or -- I thought you did."
"Yeah,
yeah, don't bother me with *logic*, B," and Jason sits back on his
heels. "And I'm interrupting Tim, besides. This is me, shutting the
fuck up."
Tim turns and smiles at him --
Jason's grin
for her is somewhat... loopy. He looks almost *stoned*, but not in any
way which would be unpleasant. And he's half-hard.
Tim turns back to Bruce -- and leans in to lick the hollow of his spine.
"Tim."
"Do you ever want to be hurt, Bruce? Has anyone ever done that for you?"
Bruce's
forearms flex and he twists his wrists -- he could break her hold in a
moment, have her on the floor in another. He could make her *pay* for
this, and... maybe he will.
It won't be today. "Answer me."
"I don't. I've considered it. And when you used your teeth on me, earlier, I considered it more deeply."
Tim presses her face against his back and nods slowly --
"What. You should. You shouldn't wait."
And
if I want to? No, not that. Not -- Tim licks him again and squeezes his
wrists as hard as she can. "You've never had anything like this,
before."
"No. Tim."
"But you've wanted it. A lifetime
devoted to the domination of others, the *control* of others. It's what
the world needed from you. And I'm no different," she says, and
releases his wrists.
Bruce is holding himself *rigid*, and --
yes, that was a tease. *Damn*. She shakes it off internally and reaches
toward Jason, who gives the zip-strip back.
"There's going to
be a point where you'll want to -- perhaps need to -- struggle against
the zip-strip. I want you to try not to do that. If I wanted your
wrists marked... I'd do it myself," and she puts it on Bruce, pulls it
-- not too tight.
He tests it and turns around to face her -- *without* permission. She raises her eyebrow.
He
stares down into her eyes, and there's a desperation there which
manages to seem quiet, almost too small for the rest of him, the
*whole* of him -- "Please," he says, and *that's* quiet, too, that's --
And perhaps she's taking too long to respond, because he shudders again, shoulders flexing --
"Control,
Bruce. There is..." She bites the inside of her lip and tries to
*think*, tries to just -- his *hands*, and she can't feel them on her
right now, can't be moved --
But Jason would, if she asked.
Jason would assume that making Bruce watch them together was part of
her *plan*, because he has *just* that kind of faith in her.
Tim
smiles, and lets it be as rueful as it wants to be. "There's only one
thing you need to control, right now," she says, and strokes her way up
his chest until she can cup and squeeze his shoulders *hard*.
It takes a moment, but he releases the tension there --
And Jason blows out a breath.
Now
she just has to decide -- no, *that's* easy. "You said you wanted to
take Jason's place for a while, Bruce. Get back down on your knees."
Tension again -- Bruce closes his eyes, mouth a hard *line*.
No. She wraps one hand around the base of his penis and squeezes --
"*Tim*."
His
eyes are still closed, though, so she curls the fingers of her free
hand up against the underside and scratches, slow and hard.
Pre-come beading at the tip and the sound Bruce makes is rough and deep, animal-sharp --
"Oh *God*, baby, don't -- I. Don't stop?" Jason laughs breathlessly. "I could *feel* that."
Tim teases the slit with one finger. "Did you hear that, Bruce? He's *with* you. We both are -- and will continue to be."
"Yeah,
Bruce. You... I didn't know you could be *like* this, but I'm rock
fucking hard, and I'm gonna be all *over* you just as soon --"
"*Jay*," Bruce says, and when he opens his eyes, they're wild, unfocused -- until he focuses them on Jason.
"Right here, B. Just -- come down," he says, and pats the floor. "It's okay. You *know* it's okay --"
Bruce's laugh is sharp and *jagged*. "Jay --"
"Bruce,"
Tim says, and pinches the head of his penis until he's rigid again --
in the *good* way. He shudders and pants, twitches in her hand --
"Fuck, that looks so *good*, B. I could never -- not like this. But Tim --"
"Tim. Yes," he says, and turns back to her. "Please. Let me get on my knees."
That -- it's too much. It's --
All
right, a *large* part of her is pointing and laughing at the rest,
because she hadn't just asked for this, she'd *demanded* it. Over and
over until Bruce *gave*. It's just that he's not *finished* giving, and
--
Is this how they feel when *she* begs? Like the world had
taken a large and terrifying twist? Like something important inside
them is going to seize and *stop*? She stops herself from shaking her
head by force of will alone, and then *makes* herself let go. She can't
think of anything to *say*, and the feeling only gets deeper, *more*,
when he *does* drop to his knees.
He hadn't gone down very hard, but much of his grace was missing, much --
She brings her slick fingers to her face, breathes in because her body needs her to, because --
God, the way he *smells*, and shouldn't she *worry* about the fact that it's getting familiar? She belongs to *Jason*. She --
Bruce is looking up at her, and Jason is, too. Bruce looks hungry and *willing* --
And Jason does, too.
They want this. They -- need this.
And
so she licks her fingers, slowly and showily, and she can't help but
remember Barbara showing her Selina in action at various times, in
various *ways.* Once she'd been in a room full of armed, dangerous men
-- in a social club Barbara had had bugged for the better part of a
year -- and all she'd had was her whip, her training, and her
sexuality.
She'd only needed the *last* one to get the information she'd wanted, and yes, it *was* a lesson Batgirl had needed.
And
one that Tim, perhaps, had needed even more. She looks at Bruce and
Jason from under her lashes. Jason's watching her mouth without
anything which even *looks* like shame or reservation. *Bruce* was
waiting for her eyes. The way he's leaning forward makes it almost seem
like he's straining against invisible ropes around his chest --
The
way he's leaning forward makes Tim want to tie him in every way the
internet and a well-spent early adolescence could possibly *suggest*.
For *now*, she lets her hand fall back down to her side. "Jay," she
says, without looking away from Bruce, "I left the lubricant near the
medical supplies. Get it."
"Yes, *ma'am*," he says, rolling to his feet and moving immediately. He pauses in front of her with his eyebrows raised.
She raises one back --
"You know... you can tie *me* up, anytime," he says, and his grin doesn't fit with the images in her head. Not *quite*, anyway.
She
thinks she'd want *rope* for Jason, something natural and textured for
him to fight against, something that would look *interesting* against
flushed skin, skin a little dark from actual exposure to the sun the
way Barbara wants for both of them --
And he *would* fight,
and struggle, but it would only be for more. She could make him beg so
*easily*, only it would be even more fervent than he usually *gets* --
"And you're totally thinking about it. Good fucking *deal*, baby," Jason says, congratulatory and entirely *pleased* --
"Lubricant," she says, and she thinks her voice might be a little too harsh, but --
It
makes him lick his lips. And, when she turns back to Bruce, she can
hear Jason *jogging* to the medical area. She'd *tossed* the tube back
over there before fingering Jason and she hadn't really thought about
why. Now...
Well, she knows. She hadn't wanted it to be there
*daring* her to spread some on her penis, or maybe glaring at her for
*not* doing it. She hadn't really...
She hadn't been able to
cope with that, and it's not like she's doing much better now. At this
point, Bruce would probably *enjoy* it if she fucked him, and wouldn't
it suit this particular game -- no, it's not a game. It may not be life
and death, but nothing that demands she look at this *much* of herself
at once could ever be termed a *game*.
And Bruce is watching
her steadily, a strand of pre-come hanging from his penis. It hasn't
yet reached the floor, but it will, and then she'll have to use every
ounce of will she *has* to keep from diving in and swallowing him
whole. She's *had* him in her mouth. She knows he *likes* it --
And Jason is back beside her with the tube, holding it out expectantly...
"Keep it," she says. "You'll need it."
Jason
moans softly. Bruce -- the tension is back in his shoulders and his
eyes are *fiercely* hungry, focused on both of them exactly like he
could *will* them to come closer, to be *with* him, and wouldn't she
want that?
Wouldn't she *need* to know they needed her to be
just like this? She nods and walks to Bruce, watching his focus shift
to her penis, her nipples, her legs and back to her penis -- "No," she
says, and Bruce tenses again and looks up at her eyes.
The
only way to *do* this is to keep doing it, to stop herself from getting
lost in all the other things which could be happening, and yes, her own
doubts. Bruce is *here* for this, and so is Jason -- currently staring
at her from a few feet away. While they would both *understand* if she
called time or gave up on this entirely, while she's quite sure that
both of them would *enjoy* various alternative activities --
This is some degree of necessary, if only for the parts of her which are now and will always *be* Batgirl --
No,
not that, either. This is happening, and that's the only rationale
needed. "You're very aroused," she says, and strokes Bruce's mouth with
her fingers.
He opens his mouth in pure invitation, and Tim
thinks about sucking Bruce's fingers, biting them and *holding* them in
her mouth -- she strokes his tongue with the fingers which must still
at least *smell* like his pre-come, and he narrows his eyes.
"How much stimulation do you think you need before... escalation occurs, Bruce?"
It's
*an* answer that he immediately sucks her fingers into his mouth, that
he closes his eyes and leans in to do it more forcefully, more *deeply*
--
She pulls out of his mouth. "A verbal answer, if you would."
"Tim," he says. "I want. I've wanted Jason for --"
"A
very long time, yes," she says, and drags her wet fingers over his
lips, up over his cheek. "Do you want him to penetrate you?"
Bruce's breathing hitches once, again -- he squeezes his eyes shut. "*Yes*."
"Oh... fuck," Jason says, and he moves closer. "Ask him -- or. Fuck, Tim, I don't know if I can --"
"Bruce
is very tight," she says, and strokes over his eyelids until he opens
them again, stares *into* her, and a part of her is only shuddering,
only *thinking* about how that would feel. The pressure and the heat...
both of them have described penetrating her in ways too poetic for her
tastes -- but. "And you know that he wants you, Jason."
"*Yeah*, but -- damn, baby --"
"*Please*,"
Bruce says, and his shoulders are straining again, he's leaning *in*
again, and his breath on her penis is enough to make her shudder.
She fights it back as much as she can --
"Both.
Neither of you have to -- this isn't *necessary*," and Bruce is looking
at them both, tensing and seemingly a *moment* away from standing up
and acquiring a blade to free himself, or doing something else
ridiculous and amazing to *change* this --
"I -- beg to differ," she says, and presses her thumb over his lips, stares into the *wildness* of his eyes. "Jay."
"Uh. Yeah, baby?"
Hesitation,
discomfort -- and Bruce is hearing all of it. *Feeling* all of it, and
that can't really *stand*. "When I penetrated him, he came nearly
immediately."
"Still can't believe you just *did* it, Tim. I... I know he wants it, but I guess I'm kind of... scared?"
That
makes Bruce *focus* -- on her. When a request is mated with an order,
perhaps it becomes something like the plea in Bruce's eyes. Perhaps.
She digs her nail in against his upper lip. "This *won't* change
anything -- no, I take that back. It will alter things between the
three of us. It will open up new... possibilities," she says, and
raises her eyebrow.
Bruce nods.
Jason laughs softly
and comes up beside her. "God, B, you look... like a lot of damned sex
all at *once*. Baby, I... I think it's just that I've spent a *good*
amount of time thinking about Bruce fucking *me* -- Jesus, your *eyes*,
B --"
"Talk to *me*," and Tim presses harder against Bruce's mouth -- for Jason's benefit. Bruce isn't fighting her, at all.
"I
-- God. Okay. I keep -- I was thinking about what it would feel like to
have him inside me. He'd be the first guy -- I want *you* to be the
first -- um. Person," Jason says, and turns to look at her.
He's
watching her *carefully* from under those lashes, waiting for objection
or punishment. Tim smiles, small and probably quite sharp.
"Yeah,
okay, just making sure I'm not on *too* thin a layer of ice over here,
baby. Um. Maybe if we started real slow and easy? Nothing fancy for a
little while?"
"Entirely possible," she says, and it's nothing
she wouldn't have wanted if she were in Jason's position. "Kneel down
behind him, Jay."
Jason takes a deep breath and does it, setting the tube down, reaching up for Bruce's shoulders and -- pausing.
"Do
it," she says, and Bruce tenses even harder and closes his eyes again
for Jason's first touch. She's felt that touch a dozen times if she's
felt it once, that half-instinctive *skill* Jason has for massage. She
knows intellectually that it's just something else he's learned from
Bruce, but he doesn't do it like there's a path to follow, or points to
hit along a given line.
It manages to be, for her, something
that seems both easy and ritualistic, a kind of body worship that,
perhaps, *only* people like Jason can manage. People who never live
outside their own skins.
After a minute, Bruce starts to respond to it, breathing more deeply and leaning fractionally back toward Jason.
"Yeah, that's it, B -- and I'm not really talking to you at *all*. Um. I just want... him to loosen up some. *Enjoy* this."
"He is," Tim says, and eases the pressure on Bruce's mouth without taking her thumb away entirely. "Aren't you?"
"Jason's
touch. His strength has always been prodigious, almost shocking when he
was -- younger. I." Bruce squeezes his eyes shut again, frowns *hard*
--
But Jason hasn't paused and doesn't seem at all upset. Tim nods internally. "Keep going, Bruce. Tell us more."
Bruce
swallows and nods. "I've wanted. When I taught him this, I only meant
to provide useful... I never wanted him to *know* --" Bruce shakes his
head, rocks slightly --
"More," she says, and taps his mouth with her thumb.
"The
first time I saw you through Jason's mask feed, Tim. The way you moved,
consciously like Barbara and unconsciously like yourself, the person
hidden from me even when I saw you at those *parties*, glimpsed in
moments, hints --"
"Bruce --" She cuts herself off and takes a breath. She *hadn't* been specific. "Tell me more about *Jason's* touch."
"Hnn.
He tried so hard to keep from relaxing, and to keep from letting me
know that he was tense. I knew what he thought I would do --"
Jason gasps and Bruce shakes his head --
"I'm sorry. I'm --"
"No.
No, I -- Tim," Jason says, and looks at her from over Bruce's shoulder.
His hands are still on Bruce's back, and his eyes are so *wide* --
Tim nods at Jason, and fights against the urge to reach out.
"I
need to hear this. I think I -- need to *know* this. And understand it,
and just -- fuck, I don't know, but --" Jason goes back to rubbing
Bruce's back, conscious this time, forceful -- "Please."
Tim
swallows, and wishes she weren't naked for this, but -- no. They need
to know this about *her*, too, that it's making her more aroused, that
*she* needs to know -- "Keep going, Bruce."
Bruce looks down
and pants, and this time when he tenses his shoulders, Jason starts
rubbing his arms. It looks a lot less therapeutic, now.
It looks... almost possessive, and certainly demanding. She can't do less. "*Now*."
"He
thought I would -- abuse. Molest. He thought I was going to try to
initiate sexual contact, and every time I touched him he grew more
tense, every place I wasn't touching him -- I knew he could be *hurt*
this way, and. A part of me was only worried, and wondering what I
could do or say to ease this for him, to -- the feel of his skin
against my fingertips. Each touch was a shock, a *thrill*. He had so
few scars then, and his skin was soft and smooth. He was finally
well-hydrated, nourished -- *please* --"
"What did you *want*, Bruce?"
And Jason is nodding, but his eyes are distant and unfocused. He probably doesn't *know* he's doing it --
Bruce
looks up and *glares* at her. "I wanted to *caress*. It was so early in
his training, Tim, but his muscles were already defining themselves to
my eyes, to my touch. I wanted to rest my hands on his buttocks. I
wanted to spread him wide, and touch every secret part of him, learn
everything that pleasured him by *experimentation*, and I knew I could
pretend the sounds he made were encouragement, that I could tie him
again, *take* -- *hn* --"
And that was -- wasn't. Tim looks at
Jason and his arms are still. His. He has one hand on Bruce's shoulder,
holding tight enough that his knuckles are white. His other hand...
"You're inside him."
Jason nods and closes his eyes for a moment. "Just -- one finger. I can't -- I couldn't."
Tim
nods back and doesn't lick her lips, does her best to ignore the feel
of herself getting *harder* -- she strokes her penis to keep the
pre-come from dripping too egregiously --
"Oh, fuck, baby --"
"Tim."
Down,
*boys* -- no, not that. Jason has never *seen* her stroking herself,
even for dubious neatness purposes -- she's not going to laugh, either.
She brings her hand back to Bruce's mouth and just. Paints his lips a
little, shuddering internally at the shine she leaves behind --
"Jesus fucking --"
"Lubricant, Jason. You *don't* want to hurt him."
"No,
I -- I know, I just -- I *remember* that night, and it was..." Jason's
laugh is cracked and painful. "I guess -- I have to rewrite things a
little. Fuck, I want to know how he handled it when I made that
*noise*."
And Bruce's eyes are pleading again, his entire body
straining -- except for those parts of him which are only *feeling*
Jason inside him, knowing that this is *happening* --
"We... will never get anywhere without honesty, Bruce. And hearing this is deeply arousing."
"You're a *pervert*, baby, but since you're perving on me and Bruce, I'm *totally* not complaining."
"Noted."
"And I'm -- I'm gonna pull out, now. Just for a minute."
Tim nods and raises her eyebrow at Bruce. "Lick your lips."
He
makes doing it look like the kind of sexual act which *should* last for
hours, or at least seem that way. It's over too fast, and Tim considers
stroking herself again, maybe this time *just* the head... if she's
doing it for *them*, then... then --
*After* Bruce says a little more. "Tell us about the sound Jason made."
"I --" Bruce gasps, almost certainly for the feel of Jason pulling out. He shakes his head and straightens his shoulders --
"*Don't* try to make it sound better than it is --"
"He sounded *helpless*, frightened and sad, *hurt*," and Bruce shudders, stills and -- moans.
Jason is pushing in again. Jason is --
"I'm not any of those things right now, B," Jason says, and his voice is low and dark, *hungry* -- "Still want me?"
And she could say something about how Jason is only supposed to talk to *her*, but --
"*Yes*.
I've only wanted --" Bruce growls and shakes his head -- "I would have
a *point* at which I could go no lower, be no more monstrous --"
"You're *not* a monster," Tim says, and *grips* herself --
"Fuck, that's so *hot*, baby --"
And
Bruce's eyes are on her again, Bruce is panting and staring, lips
parted, and Tim doesn't whimper, doesn't moan or *shake*. The feel of
her own hand, the calluses she'd worked so hard for, the sweat on her
palm --
She strokes, slow and *hard*, and watches Bruce's eyes widen, watches Jason lick his lips and shudder --
She
pulls *off* -- and offers her hand to Bruce, palm forward. He licks
quick and hard, using the tip *and* the flat. He moans and tries to
reach her fingers, straining *up* as if he's tied to the *floor*. She
gives him her fingers. "Like *this*, Jay," she says, and starts to
thrust --
And she can see the moment when her rhythm matches
Jason's, she can feel it in the way Bruce stops sucking and starts to
just take it, eyes closed and body shaking. He's being too *quiet*, and
Tim's not sure how to fix that, other than to keep giving him more,
make *him* keep giving more --
She pulls out slowly and Bruce follows, licks at her fingertips -- shakes again, all over and hangs his head, panting.
"No, Bruce. Look *up*."
Another
shudder, but Bruce only seems to be fighting himself. He lifts his head
as if it's suddenly twice as heavy as it was a moment ago, and Tim --
Does it really *count* as a blush if she's doing it *while* dragging the head of her penis over Bruce's lips?
"*Jesus*, baby, are you gonna let him?"
"Tell me -- nnh. Tell me how he feels, Jay."
"Tight as all hell. *Hot*, like maybe --" Jason shakes his head. "I can't tell if he *likes* this, baby --"
"Don't
-- don't stop. Please," Bruce says, and his voice is breathy and low.
He shudders *hard* -- and starts to work his hips back against Jason's
hand --
"Oh, *fuck*. Just -- B, you don't *have* to --"
Bruce squeezes his eyes shut again --
Tim
squeezes her *penis*, backs off a step -- and watches Bruce strain
against the zip-strip again, shoulders *working* -- "Tell him about the
first time you wanted *this* from him, Bruce --"
And Bruce --
smiles, soft and almost *beatific*, as if they're finally allowing him
something he doesn't have to feel shame for, perhaps --
"*Do*
it," she says, letting go of her penis -- she can't keep herself from
moaning a little, and they're *both* staring at her just that fast,
Jason's shoulder working and Bruce's mouth *slick* -- "Now," she says,
barely managing to keep the *shake* out of her voice --
"The
first time he threw me successfully," Bruce says, and licks his lips
entirely without permission. Does it slow, this time, and stares at Tim
like a *meal*. He's *Bruce*, and she's not being especially subtle
about how all of this is *affecting* her.
Blood in the water.
Certainly, *some* bodily fluid in the water, and she really is *just*
that hard, needing a little now -- "Tell me," she says, and it's not
very commanding, at all, not --
"His pin was... ineffectual, at best..."
"Heh. To be fair, B, I *wasn't* expecting you to let the pin *happen* --"
Bruce
closes his eyes again, seems to search behind the lids -- "He was
sweating, and having a difficult time catching his breath. He was
moving on me, trying to firm his pin and realizing, perhaps... oh. Oh,
Jay --"
"God, *B* --"
"*More*," she says, and that was a growl and a *shout* --
And
both of them jump, just a little -- Jason looks *guilty*. Bruce is
smiling with his eyes, and with the motion of his hips --
A
part of her is on her back with Bruce over her, looking down at her as
he *thrusts* -- focus. She can -- she raises an eyebrow and feels like
she's lying to both of them, feels like they can *see* how much of a
lie the calm is, the sense of waiting --
She grabs Bruce by the jaw. "I'll tell Jay to stop."
The
smile in his eyes makes it to his mouth, but it's -- soft. Admiring --
"Tim. Your determination is intoxicating. You fight *around* your
wounds, your doubts. You --" Bruce moans, never looking away from her
eyes. "I would have your hunger for my own, and knowing that... that
the way to get it is to lay myself open for you, for *your* touch --"
She puts pressure on his jaw and he narrows his eyes, *bucks* against Jason's hand --
"*Easy*, you're so fucking tight, I don't want --"
"*I* want," Bruce says, closing his eyes for a moment and licking his lips again. "Tell me what I must do, Tim. *Lead* me."
She -- doesn't *whimper*. She swallows, and swallows again -- "When Jason pinned you -- the way he was moving on you --"
"Innocence.
Laughter. He said -- 'I *got* you.' His jock bumped my own. A bead of
his sweat landed on my cheek. I didn't wrap my arms around him. I
didn't roll us over so that I could pin *him*. I thought of him moving
sexually, such. Such a fine *line* -- *Jay* --"
"I'm. I'm crooking my finger. You didn't say --"
"Do it again," she says. "Harder --"
This time the noise Bruce makes is wordless, and his penis twitches, and Tim wants --
*Wants*. "The first time you saw Jay hard, Bruce --"
"Shower. He tried to hide it from me. He. I knew. I knew he didn't want me to get the wrong *idea*. Jay, please. Please --"
"*Thrust* again, Jay --"
"Yeah, yeah, okay -- fuck, baby, I want --" Jason groans and shifts on his knees behind Bruce, and Tim *knows* --
"Can you take another finger, Bruce? Answer *honestly* --"
"Yes.
Yes, I." Bruce's eyes are wide, so *dark*. He licks his lips again and
turns his head, kisses her thumb, *licks* -- "I want the -- discomfort.
The memory of this --"
"You want to *know* this happened, with
all of yourself," she says, and thinks about that first time with
Jason, the way his penis had seemed to go on for miles inside her, the
way she'd felt so full and so good, the way she'd needed it to *hurt*
-- "Give it to him, Jay. Don't hesitate --"
Jason moans and winces as he pulls out --
Bruce tilts his head back -- "More. I need -- so much --"
Her
penis *aches*, and she's empty, needy -- Jason never makes her *wait*
this long. He's always there for her, always ready when she needs him
to be --
When Bruce needs him to be --
"Two. Just -- I'm so fucking hard again, baby, I don't -- I don't even know what I *want*."
Tim
growls and squeezes Bruce's face because she can't squeeze her penis
again, not without needing -- more. They *all* need more. "When Jason
was -- was *giving* me to you, Bruce --"
"I could touch where he had -- touched. Jay. Jay, please, it feels --" Bruce shakes his head and pushes *back* --
"Fuck, I was trying to be *slow* --"
Bruce
groans and shudders *again*, and when Tim gives him her thumb, he
groans again, slurred and *wet*. He sucks and -- and goes *down* on her
thumb, the same rhythm Jason must be using --
No, it *is* the same rhythm, because Bruce is *working* his hips, staring at her expectantly, desperately --
Tim takes her thumb back and sucks it into her own mouth, reaches for her sac with her other hand --
"Oh, baby, *yes*, show me, show *us* --"
She
squeezes hard and feels her knees trying to give out on her, tries
helplessly to mimic the way Jason's mouth had moved on her, scrapes at
herself with her nails --
"*Tim*," Bruce says, and it's an *order*, but it's not his *place* --
"Say
what you *want*, Bruce," and she sounds like she's begging a little,
but she can't control that, anymore, can't control *anything* --
("You're no good --")
"*Say* it," she says, and wonders if that growl is any better. Both of them *know* that growl from her, know what it *means* --
"I
want Jay to take -- take me. I want you in my *mouth*, Tim, want to
feel you with my tongue, taste you and swallow you. Hold you. Pleasure
you -- I. I promise to use my *teeth*," and Bruce is straining again,
Bruce seems even larger than he *usually* does like this, as if the
zip-strip is constraining something far more important that just his
arms --
She's losing the thread and everything along *with* it, and why had she thought she'd be able to *do* this?
*Had* she thought?
She laughs and squeezes herself again. "Do you think... Bruce. Do you think you *deserve* it?"
And Bruce's eyes are wide and *shocked* --
Jason is gasping --
"You
know what you want, Bruce," she says, and lets go of herself. "You know
what you *need*. But you're here, on your knees..."
"Helpless," he says, and he hardly even seems to be *blinking*.
Tim cups his face with both hands -- and nudges his sac with her foot.
"*Tim* --"
"Do.
You. Deserve it." And she pushes her hands into his hair, *yanks* his
head back so she can stare directly into his eyes. She knows she must
be pleading behind her own eyes, but the effort has to count. The --
"*Please* --"
She yanks *hard*, feeling some of the individual hairs let go --
Bruce makes a sound like an animal too *angry* to die --
"*Answer* me."
"Baby --"
"*Not*
now, Jay," she says, and leans in close enough to breathe Bruce's
breath, close enough to smell herself there -- "*Bruce*."
"*No*. I don't deserve --"
"*Wrong*
answer," and she kisses him because she has to, because he has to feel
this, feel *her*. She tastes her own pre-come and something almost
acid, something that makes her jaw ache the way need can, the way the
most *powerful* emotions can, or --
Maybe it's just the force
of the kiss, the way she's punishing them both. She's wincing at the
feel of their teeth bumping and scraping against each other, the crush
of their lips --
There's blood in her mouth, and she doesn't know which of them it *belongs* to --
And then Bruce groans into her mouth and shoves his tongue in -- holds it there. He wants her, he wants --
Tim *bites* it, holds it between her teeth and hums, needs -- rips herself away and wipes her mouth. "Try *again*."
He's
panting and licking his lips, staring at her with a focus that seems
*inhuman* when taken with the fact that he's still working his hips for
Jason. He looks *incredulous*, but mostly he looks hungry, like nothing
either of them do will ever be *enough* --
She knows how that look feels from the inside. She knows it right *now* -- "Bruce --"
"Tim, *please*. Jay -- so hard --" Bruce shakes his head --
She looks at Jay. "*Harder*."
Jason
moans and nods, and the sight of his shoulder working makes her want --
too many things at *once*, starting with Jason jerking off for her,
again. Jerking off while *Bruce* watches, perhaps tied again --
Jason jerking off while straddling Bruce's chest --
Jason *coming* on Bruce's face, her own -- "Try *again*, Bruce --"
And
Bruce squeezes his eyes shut again, but it's only for a moment. And
when he opens them, he should be able to burn her with that look,
should be able to strip her down to the *bone* -- "I -- I *deserve*
this. All of it. Everything I need, everything I *want*, Tim. It's --
you're *mine*."
Oh --
"*Fuck*, B, I --"
And
Jason does *something* that makes Bruce grit his teeth, makes him flush
and makes a bead of sweat roll down his cheek from his temple. Her
entire body is screaming about the lack of physical contact, about the
promise in Bruce's eyes and the *determination* in Jason's. She could
have --
She *will* have. She strokes Bruce's face with her thumbs -- "Yours, Bruce? Really --"
"*Yes*.
For this moment, for -- let me *have* you," he says, and he's
struggling against the zip-strip again -- *can* he break the thing?
"Stay *still* --"
Bruce growls at her, or perhaps at all of them, the Cave, this situation, his own need --
"*Still* --"
"*Don't*
--" Bruce shudders and pants, grits his teeth harder -- looks at her
with something like the *remnants* of reason. "Please don't tease,
anymore. Please."
And that -- she looks at Jason, and he's
staring at her. *Begging* at her, and now that her part in this is
basically over, she doesn't want to give it up. There's more that she
could say, more that she could *demand*.
Bruce's sac is a soft, warm weight against her foot, and she could squeeze it against his body, press --
She could demand Bruce come with only Jason fucking him, she could make Jason go tortuously slowly, gently --
She could -- there's so *much*. Tim bites the inside of her lip and nods. "Don't wait anymore, Jay."
"Oh -- God. Let me -- Bruce, are you *sure*?"
"Yes,"
Bruce says, quiet and steady enough to belie the motion of his hips --
but that's smooth, as well, easy and giving, offering. "I will --
*please*. Tim --"
Tim covers his mouth with the fingers of one hand. "You're going to... hold me. In your mouth --"
Bruce's eyes widen again, narrow again --
"Until
Jason starts to thrust. *Then* you can suck," she says, and the thought
of that rocks her with shudders, makes her need to lock her *knees* for
a moment, and what is she *doing*?
The answer is *this*, and
more of it, and as much of it as she thinks she can stand. She could be
wrong, really, and -- the laugh that bubbles up to the back of her
throat feels harsh and sharp, like some weapon only to be used when
there's no other *possibility*. She swallows it back and stands
straight, stroking down her body and trying not to see Bruce and Jason
watching her do it.
She could still *lose* this, and need to
be the one in the middle. It's not her *place*, right now, not the
right time for it, and she wonders if things like this are a part of
the 'vigilante sex talk' Barbara had mentioned.
What *happens* when your partner really *wants* to be taken to task by your alter ego --
This
still isn't Batgirl -- or. Not all of her, anyway. Maybe just the
foundation that lets her exist in Tim, the thing she shares with Tim
because she *has* to --
"Okay. I -- I'm pulling my fingers out," Jason says, and he swallows and does it. Bruce closes his eyes and holds his breath --
"Breathe,"
Tim says, and it comes out a lot more gently than she would've expected
it to, but it's not like she has all that much control left over...
anything, at all. She swallows back another laugh and watches Bruce's
torso hitch, watches him pant before he takes a *real* breath, and
another --
Jason has one hand on Bruce's shoulder, squeezing
and petting it in a way that looks far too restless for it to be
remotely soothing. She knows that touch -- it's the same one she gets
when Jason is some variety of *too* turned on, when his body wants to
be gentle and greedy at once --
And her hand is at her navel -- she'd know that from the angles of Bruce's and Jason's gazes even if she couldn't feel it --
No more waiting. She takes a breath against the usual moment of no, of *wrong* -- it's not that intense. It's --
She's
not going to think about it. She's just going to *feel* it, and let it
bring her close to Bruce once more, one hand wrapped around the base of
her penis and the other on Bruce's face --
He opens his mouth, but keeps himself still in every other way save for the even breaths he's taking --
"Fuck, Tim, you look so *good* like that," and Jason sounds eager and a little jealous, as hungry as he *should* be --
Bruce's breath on the head of her penis is so perfect, so warm and *good* --
She
pushes in until Bruce's lips are pressed against her fingers, pressed
against *her*, and he's following orders. Not licking or sucking, just
*holding* her in his mouth --
And looking up at her eyes.
Tim runs her tongue over her teeth and looks to Jason --
"Now,
I hear you. I -- God, this is gonna be so *tight* --" And the rest of
that is a moan as he pushes in, as Bruce closes his eyes and exhales,
as Jason squeezes Bruce's shoulder *hard* --
Bruce moans
around her penis, and the faint vibration is an incredible tease, solid
and somehow more profound than it has any right whatsoever to be. It
runs right *through* her, and -- she knows why. Jason never hesitates.
She never *lets* Jason hesitate, but she also hasn't needed to say much
to *keep* him from doing it.
From the moment he wraps his lips
around her, he's out for her pleasure, as intense as he can make it, as
if all it would take is *enough* pleasant physical sensations to make
her... accept.
This --
She cups Bruce's face again,
watches his eyes track behind the lids as Jason pushes in, and *in* --
"I know how that feels, of course," she says, and listens to the
breathlessness in her own voice, the want --
"You weren't. Uh.
You had more *experience*," Jason says, and he's *blushing* -- "Fuck,
baby, you're the only -- I haven't *done* this with other. Uh."
The
laugh *still* wouldn't be appropriate or sound like anything either of
them need to *hear* right now. "I know what you're trying to say, Jay
--"
"I know, fuck, Bruce, I'm going a little crazy here --"
Jason groans and shakes his head. "Sorry, sorry, not supposed to *talk*
to B, and I.... I've never even *fantasized* about this, and it's
*still* all different from what. Something -- fucking A, baby, one day
you've gotta let me see your *toys* --"
Gifts from Dinah, all,
and somehow they'd made it back to the Clocktower, as opposed to here
to the manor. Sparing her embarrassment *and* Barbara keeping something
of her to herself? She doesn't know, but -- the first one had been a
*joke*, and the other two had been offered with humor, as well, but...
but.
Somehow, Dinah had known, or Barbara had told her -- of
course Jason wants this part of her, too, and for this, for *now*...
maybe it's something she owes?
"God, fuck, *please* -- don't even know what I *want* --"
"I. So many nights," she says, because she has to, because he needs -- "Wanting *you*, Jay --"
"God -- fuck, that -- and Bruce is all *around* me --"
Bruce
still has his eyes closed, still holding her so *gently*, and -- "The
scent. Is what's... I. I can smell all of us," she says, and licks her
teeth again, swallows again --
"Smells so *good* -- oh, baby, let him suck you, let him *feel* that. Fucking -- fuck his *mouth* --"
Bruce
groans and it's only the hand she has around herself that keeps her
from thrusting -- from thrusting *deeper*. He opens his eyes again, and
she knows he felt that, that he *knows* what this is doing to her, what
it's making her need --
"I can't -- can't. He's so *hot* inside, baby, feels so good, I -- how long do I have to wait?"
That's
not Jason begging. She knows what his begging *sounds* like, but she
knows that has more to do with the fact that *he* had come already than
with anything else.
She nudges Bruce's sac again with her foot --
Bruce *sucks*, hard -- stops.
And it's Tim's turn to pant, to gasp and shake. That -- it didn't feel like Jason, at all. It was too --
She
doesn't *know*, it was too brief, and Bruce is looking at her with
*apology* in his eyes, a *plea* -- she strokes his face and nods, licks
her lips --
"Oh fuck, *fuck*, he's clenching up tight, fucking
*holding* me, I --" Jason shakes his head and wraps one arm around
Bruce's waist, pushes the other under Bruce's arm and grips his
shoulder from the front. "Just --"
Bruce squeezes his eyes shut and Tim hears herself making a noise --
Bruce opens his eyes again --
"Do it," she says, because there's nothing else, because there's everything she *wants* --
Jason growls and squeezes Bruce hard, buries his face against Bruce's shoulder --
And
she and Bruce are making noise together, and it seems like it should
echo through the whole Cave, beat at their eardrums and make them --
make her --
She lets go of the base of her penis and Bruce swallows her *immediately*, and the feel -- his throat --
It
*works* her, and there's no one to catch her if she falls over, so she
*keeps* her knees locked, tries to focus on the feel of that, so
unhealthy and so dangerous when working. She could hurt herself *badly*
if she ever did that during a flip, or -- "*Bruce*," and it comes out
desperate, *fervent* --
"Oh, yeah, oh, fuck -- *please*,"
Jason says, "Please say it's good, or -- oh, Jesus, touching me, he's
-- rubbing me, baby. He can't move his fucking arms, but he's still
touching --"
"He needs to. He -- oh. The way he's *looking* at me --"
"Like. Like he needs you, loves you --"
Bruce
*nods*, pressing his tongue up against the underside of her penis,
swallowing around her again and *again*, and her hand is shaking on
Bruce's face, making it hard to pet him the way she wants to. She wants
to tell him that it's good, that it's --
It's warm and *safe*, somehow, because he knows so much about her, because he makes her feel so beautiful, so *necessary* --
"*Bruce*,"
she says, again, and she hopes he can hear everything in it, *needs*
him to know that she only wants more, that this pleasure *hurts*
because she knows it has to end -- "Do you. I won't last," she says,
and forces herself to pull out of Bruce's throat --
Bruce lunges to try to take her *back*, he *wants* her to come --
"Faster, Jay. Just -- don't --" She shakes herself like a *dog* -- "Touch him. Stroke him --"
"*Fuck*, yeah, baby, *thank* you --"
And Bruce closes his eyes again, moans and strains and shudders --
She
has her hand around herself again and she squeezes *hard*, letting out
the shout for the pain of it, the *good*. She's given herself another
few seconds of possibility, time in Bruce's *heat* --
"Give it *back* to him, baby, he's been so good --"
"*Yes*.
So -- wonderful," she says, shaking more, needing -- she can feel the
flush all over her *skin*, and Jason is *moving* Bruce with his
thrusts, moving all of them --
And Jason's making a sound like
he's being punched over and over again, and she knows that rhythm
*well*, that -- he can't stop, and there's saliva running down Bruce's
perfect fucking *chin* --
She *shoves* in, and someone cries
out, Bruce's eyes are wide and unfocused. He's *gone*, and she knows
that feeling, too. She wants him *here* for this, but she can't bring
herself to stop thrusting, can't even make herself find Jason's rhythm
--
"So good in my hand, B, so perfect and fucking huge -- want you *in* me --"
Bruce
grunts deep in his chest and *that* brought him back, makes him -- he's
struggling, fighting for more and just *fighting* --
"Fuck, that *clench* --"
Tim pushes her hand into Bruce's hair and pulls --
And Bruce's expression is so dark, so full of *need*, and Tim knows that whimpering sound is her, that --
His throat is so warm, so tight and so *warm* --
"Close, baby, I'm so -- gonna come. Gonna -- Jesus fucking Christ, I'm gonna come *in* Bruce --"
"Want. Want his hands on my *hips*. Like you, Jay, like --"
"Yeah, oh --" Jason sobs on a breath and *shoves* into Bruce -- "Can't stop thinking about him doing this to me, taking me --"
Tim nods desperately, fucking *spastically* -- "He feels so good. He -- after I came, when he couldn't stop --"
"So hard, baby, so -- you were *crying* a little --"
"So *good*, and I -- oh, he's sucking me so *hard*, Jay --"
"Know how that *feels* now, what he's always wanted -- oh, fuck, it feels like I wasted *time* --"
And
Bruce bares his *teeth*, and that *scream* is her, that -- she can't
stop thrusting, can't keep herself from *slamming* against Bruce's
face, can't do anything but *live* with the slap of her sac against his
chin --
"Can *hear* that, hear *you* -- fucking -- *come* for us, B --"
"Y-yes. *Do* it, Bruce, show us -- *give* --"
He covers his teeth and sucks her *in* again, holds her --
Tastes her and takes her --
"Come *on*, B, don't -- I don't wanna stop until you've come, can't leave you hanging --"
"Please,"
she says, and has no idea how it came out that *calmly*. It has to be
an accident of air flow within her lungs, a moment between the shouts
that come out of her every time he swallows, *teases* her --
And Bruce closes his eyes again, makes Tim tug at his hair and *whine*, high in her throat --
"Can't -- *please*, Bruce, I can feel you fucking *shaking*, shaking me, oh God, I don't wanna *stop* --"
"*Don't*
stop, Jay, don't --" The laugh is no better for having been swallowed
back multiple times and Tim tugs *harder*. "I'll do this *again*," she
says, and means it with all of herself. "I'll tie you, hurt you -- slap
your fucking *penis* if you -- *ah* --"
"*Please*," and Jason sounds so strained, so *lost* --
And Bruce stiffens *hard*, coughs and swallows her again and that shouldn't feel -- it shouldn't --
"Fuck, *yeah*," Jason says, and Bruce shudders and spasms, jerks -- spatters her leg with his *come* --
The feel, heat and slick, the way Bruce is swallowing almost *desperately* -- "Oh. I --"
"Gonna come, too, baby? Right down his throat?"
"Want -- oh, God, *Jay* --"
"You can give it *up* now, baby. You've -- oh, Jesus, he's clenching so fucking *hard* --"
Tim laughs again and *barely* keeps herself from falling, pretends she's on a *ledge* -- "*You* can give it up --"
"I *am*, fuck, can't you feel me *moving* him?"
She
can, and she can *see* it, and every time she pulls out of Bruce's
throat for a *second*, there's that moan, low and hungry and so *sweet*
--
She licks her lips and strokes Bruce as much as she can, watches Jason bring his slick-sticky hand to his *mouth* --
"Oh -- *Jay* --"
"Have to taste, just -- want you so bad, want you both so *bad* --"
"Never
enough. I -- oh, *please* --" And Bruce is working his head on her now.
She doesn't even have a *rhythm* and he's still finding it, moving in
just the right *ways* --
"So hot, so fucking -- tell me how it *feels*, baby --"
"Ah -- *ah*. Can't, Jay -- he -- so warm, so --"
Wet
and slick, deep and *perfect*, and every swallow is taking her higher,
driving her into her body like maybe she'll never be able to leave it
again. And. She can feel the *ghosts* of his hands on her hips, the way
he'd pull her into his mouth again and again, the way he'd hold her
*down* when he just wanted to fuck himself on her, force her to *feel*
--
"*Please*, baby, I -- I need you, need to -- oh, fuck, I need to *come* --"
"F-forcing me, feels like he's forcing me --"
And Bruce's eyes get so *narrow* --
"No, I --" She shakes her head and tugs his hair a little more -- "Good. It's. I've never --"
"Never
*lasted* this long, never could take it -- oh, baby, I'm so *jealous*.
Tell me you'll let me do this, please, I -- oh, B, holding me so hard
-- don't *hurt* yourself --"
Bruce groans around her and sucks *hard* again --
Noise,
just noise, because that thing at the base of her spine is making her
jerk, making her leak more pre-come, and Bruce can taste her, Jason can
*hear* her --
"*Please*, baby --"
"*Yes*, fuck -- oh, I want, I *want* --"
Wet
sounds, over and above the sound of Bruce sucking her -- she looks, and
Jason is fucking his mouth with his fingers, doing it hard and moaning
*constantly*, even as his hips keep --
And what would it feel like for Jason to suck her while Bruce was inside -- oh --
*Oh* --
Wet fingers on her hip, Jason pulling her *in* to Bruce's mouth, holding her *hard* --
And she's aware of throwing her head back, she can *hear* the scream, but --
She can't --
All
over, all over her, heat that should kill her, pressure *breaking*, and
Jason's saying something and she can *feel* Bruce seeing her, having --
*Please* --
And then there's a blank, too thorough to be frightening --
She's
sitting on the mats and there's enough of a sting that she knows that
she had, finally, fallen *down*. She rolls up onto her knees and looks
--
It's an awkward kiss from both the angle and the way Jason
is shaking, but it makes something seize inside of her -- release. They
look so *good*, and part of it is because of what she'd done, all the
things she'd *said* --
Jason turns and bites Bruce's shoulder --
"Jay," Bruce says, and the smile on his face is soft and so *full* --
The sound Jason makes is wordless and slurred, wet and *hungry* as he clutches at Bruce --
As he comes, shuddering and gasping and whimpering.
Tim
smiles a little -- and feels it freeze on her face when Bruce looks at
her. *His* smile gets sharp, knowing and even *more* full of
everything. Just --
She's had a *taste* of everything that goes *on* in that man's mind, and -- she shakes her head. "Bruce, I --"
"Tim. Perhaps you'd consider getting a knife?"
Tim
bites her lip. It's ridiculous, of course. Bruce will be able to free
himself in moments, left to his own devices. She's not *really* holding
anything back by not jumping to obey. It still *feels* like she is, and
-- Bruce's lips are swollen. His hair is a *mess*. The cut on his mouth
isn't bleeding again, but that's pretty much a miracle that has nothing
whatsoever to do with *her*.
Jason moans -- "Oh, Jesus, B, those little touches -- your fingers --"
"I'd like," Bruce says, "to offer... more." And he raises an eyebrow at her.
What's
the worst that can happen? Bruce pinning her and getting his own back
all *over* her is hardly something to *fear*... except for how it
absolutely is. Right now, she's not sure she could take one of Bruce's
*kisses* without falling apart at least a little bit --
And Bruce narrows his eyes at her. "Tim. Are you all right?"
"Hunh?" Jason looks up, bleary and rather stoned-looking. "Baby?"
"Um." Yes, she's blushing. Wonderful. "I am, perhaps, a bit intimidated."
Jason looks confused. Bruce -- *blinks*.
"It's -- ah." She forces herself up onto her feet. "I'll get the knife," she says, and heads for the nearest work station.
Behind her, she hears Jason moan again. "I'm... gonna pull out. Breathe, okay? I think -- I'm pretty sure this'll hurt."
"Almost certainly," Bruce says, with a great deal of *relish*.
"*Damn*, B..."
She finds a work-blade and curls her fingers around it, noting the cool of it against her palm, the undeniable *fact* of it --
Bruce sighs, long and low, and Jason curses again --
And
when she turns around, they're kissing again, a smile tugging at the
corner of Jason's mouth as he strokes Bruce's chest with that easy,
casual possessiveness which always makes *her* feel like the most
beautiful woman in the world.
For Bruce, it must be... she
can't really imagine, beyond knowing that it *must* feed something
inside him he thought would always be hungry. A part of her will always
be alone in her bedroom in her parents' home, one hand pressed to her
mouth to better remember the feel of Jason's kisses, the other arm
pressed against her stomach against the sickness of knowing -- with
*all* of herself -- that he could never really want *her* --
She sighs and smiles internally. That part of her may be *slow*, but it does mean that she gets a lot of pleasant surprises.
And -- she's procrastinating.
She walks back over in time to see Jason pull out of the kiss with a grin and turn to her --
"Time to free the beast, baby."
"Shall I growl *very* menacingly?" That *was* Bruce, but there was more than a little Batman there, too.
Tim shivers --
Jason snorts and sits back on his heels. "Better be good, B. She might make me zip-strip your *ankles* next."
"Mm.
A terrible fate," Bruce says and kneels up. He's naked, of course. He's
mussed and sweaty, and there's come drying on his abdomen, and --
He's
*Bruce*, and that's all there is to it. A part of her is asking --
repeatedly and stridently -- if she's *sure* that it's a good idea to
keep moving closer, to keep moving within *range* --
She'd
tied him up and *pushed* him, teased him and taunted him and never mind
that he'd asked for it -- Barbara would say that he'd *begged* for it
--
He's tracking her with his eyes, and the amusement there is
a very specific kind of deadly. She's being obvious. Fine, all right.
She looks at Jason, instead -- Jason looks troubled, confused again.
She smiles ruefully and reaches out to hand him the knife --
He puts his hands up. "No way, baby. *You* decide whether or not B gets to use his arms, tonight."
Tim frowns. "I am -- I *have* decided --"
"Have you?" Bruce, and his posture is ruler-perfect, *daunting*, and Jason -- is nodding.
"*You* think he's gonna want some payback."
More
blushing. "The idea had... occurred," she says, and moves around behind
Bruce. She can see the welts on his wrists without cutting anything
away, and she can't really stop herself from rubbing at them, a little.
No short sleeves for Brucie Wayne for the next several days, unless he
plans to cast aspersions on the sexual practices of whichever socialite
he's currently being linked to in the gossip columns --
"Tim."
The
thing is, she can *recognize* that Bruce is attempting to soothe her
with the tone of his voice, but that *amusement* is still there, and --
"It's okay, baby. Bruce'll be good. Right, B?"
"While a non-committal grunt would be... exceedingly tempting, at the moment, I plan no immediate... reprisals."
Reprisals. *Really* --
Jason
laughs and shoves Bruce, a little. "Jesus, B. Fucking *admit* that that
was the best sex of your *life*. Like, *before* we touched you."
Bruce
turns to look at her from over his shoulder. The smile on his face is
distinctly lazy, and, yes, very sharp. "It was," he says, "by far the
most intense and pleasurable sexual experience of my life, Tim. And I'm
going to enjoy thanking you for it."
Jason laughs harder. "Okay, yeah, that *was* a threat, baby. Um. He did say nothing *immediately*?"
Tim smiles ruefully. "I -- noted." It only takes a moment to slice through the zip-strip --
And Bruce sighs and flexes his arms, bringing them around to his front to rub his wrists.
Tim focuses on breathing normally --
And
has just enough time to *register* the knife vibrating in the mat and
the Cave rushing around her before she's crushed against Bruce's body
and being kissed to within an inch of her life.
Perhaps more like a centimeter.
Jason
is laughing hard enough to *choke* on it a little bit and Bruce is
humming into her mouth, pulling and *moving* her until she's straddling
his thighs, until his body is only warm against hers, the hair on his
chest tickling her nipples. It's -- well. Her arms *are* still free,
and she wraps them around his neck, tilting her head back a little --
Bruce
hums again and sucks her tongue, cups her ass and *moves* her against
him until her nipples are hard and her penis is sending somewhat
querulous statements of protest to her forebrain. He's soft and she is,
too, *but* --
He tastes like her, and he feels like himself,
and, if nothing else, she now has an excellent grasp on just how little
time Bruce needs to make her helplessly incoherent and painfully inane.
She pulls her tongue back into her mouth for long enough to convince
Bruce to follow her with *his* tongue. It's not his penis, but she has
to own the fact that she's been hoping for something to suck on for
what feels like *years*.
"Aw, *yeah*. I mean, I could say
something about how we need to eat and get ready for patrol, but...
man. I can *see* you sucking his tongue, baby."
Tim sucks harder and plays with Bruce's hair, grips him a little with her thighs --
And
those are Jason's hands *on* her thighs. She opens her eyes, and
Jason's pressed up against Bruce's back again, leering at her -- and
licking Bruce's neck.
She shivers and Bruce holds her tighter,
*squeezes* her ass and generally makes her deeply *aware* of everything
they'd done that morning. Tim moans --
And it's loud and obvious, because Bruce is pulling back, moving the arm from around her back --
Jason
grunts and narrows his eyes. "God, that's -- okay, so maybe it's stupid
to be thinking about how fucking *big* your hands are, B, but feeling
one on my ass like that -- uh."
Bruce opens his mouth -- closes it and shifts, again --
"No,
no, that was *not* a complaint," Jason says, and moves one hand from
Tim's thigh to reach under Bruce's arm and grip his shoulder, again.
"Just -- uh. Wow."
"Jay..."
"Why don't you go back to kissing Tim while you still can, B? You *know* she's not gonna put up with this for long."
And
Tim... resembles that remark. It's a good thing that she can't blush
anymore than she already is, because both of them are looking at her,
smiling *wryly* at her -- "All right. Someone has to keep our
responsibilities in mind."
"Very true," Bruce says, and
strokes her ass, up over her back to her hair. "Tim. Jason," and Bruce
turns slightly, just enough, perhaps, to be able to see the edge of
Jason's smile. "Thank you."
"You are *incredibly* fucking welcome. Right, baby?"
"Oh... I really couldn't have asked for a better... ah. Set of responses," and no, she can absolutely blush more.
Especially
because Bruce turns *back* to face her, and the mildly pleased smile on
his face is a lie utterly blown apart by the *heat* in his eyes.
"Ah... Bruce --"
"Will
you always reward me so for honesty, Tim...?" He spreads his legs a
little wider, forcing Tim to do the same, and begins to rub small
circles with his thumb at the base of her spine.
That feels -- very good. All of it. But it was -- at least in part -- an honest question. "Honesty is... very important."
Bruce hums and keeps staring *into* her. He *is* blinking, but it really doesn't feel that way, at all.
Jason laughs and nips Bruce's neck. "Hey, be fair, B --"
"Fair...? Is fairness also... important?" He doesn't look *away* --
"Oh yeah, it totally is. If it wasn't, Tim wouldn't have been thinking about making a *run* for it."
Running
-- that. All right, that's *also* true, but still -- "Batgirl only runs
when she *has* to," she says, and raises an eyebrow.
Bruce hums again and leans slightly closer -- "I suppose I will have to endeavor to remove that necessity."
And really... "How -- ah. How sore are you, Bruce...?"
Jason
makes a soft sound -- and Bruce's smile is wide and deeply reminiscent
of scimitars. Tim keeps her eyebrow up and her expression just a
*little* bit teasing --
"Exceedingly," Bruce says. "I find the sensations... fascinating."
"Uh
-- damn, I --" Jason shifts, slightly, and Tim knows that he'd just...
*pushed* against Bruce's back. It's in the narrowing of Bruce's eyes,
the *steadiness* of that smile...
A part of her is only filing
the information under 'things which are good to know.' It's the same
part which takes a wordless, primal satisfaction out of sharpening the
blades in her heels, and which wants to purr at the expressions which
tend to be on Jason's face when he *watches* her do it.
It's the part which will back *up* her promise to do this again, and it's the part which is hungry to back it up *quickly*.
And when Bruce tilts his chin up just *so*, that part drives her to lean in -- and to *bite*.
*
Jason
had *been* pretty sure that most of him would stay focused on the feel
of Bruce's *big* fucking hand petting and squeezing his ass right up
until Bruce decided to move it, but -- damn.
Watching Tim
*systematically* marking Bruce's throat is a lot like watching the
world's smallest, baddest vampire *feed*. Her eyes are open but
distant, focused only on what she's doing, and Jason can see the way
she's *pulling* at the skin on Bruce's throat, the way Bruce is
breathing just as steadily and evenly as if she was only...
Well,
that's the thing. He's not sure he'd be able to do *anything* steadily
and evenly if Tim had just -- *that*. God, a part of him had always
*hoped* she had something like that in her -- and yesterday morning
he'd gotten to get a *taste* of it --
Maybe he should put up
more of a *fight* the next time she wants to work him like the bitch he
is -- okay, no, that's just it. He wouldn't be *able* to put up the
kind of fight Bruce had. He's known for a long damned time *exactly*
what he wanted from Batgirl -- if not from *Tim* -- and that's
*everything*.
Every *possible* thing -- oh, she's moving her
head a little now. She's -- she's *licking* Bruce, that little bit of
flesh she's got between her teeth. Jason knows how that *feels*. He
moans and pushes a little more against Bruce's back --
Bruce
squeezes his ass *hard*, and it feels a lot like do that again, so he
does. There's no way he's gonna get hard again for a while -- *not*
before they have to hit the streets -- but his dick wants him to know
that Bruce's skin is warm and uneven with scars, and also that it's
*Bruce*.
Who he had just *fucked* --
Jason moans again
and nuzzles the other side of Bruce's throat a little, just -- there's
no *way* Bruce had ever been fucked before, or -- at least he hadn't
done it for a long damned time. But he'd *taken* it, moaned and groaned
and begged for it --
He'd *wanted* it, from *him*, and if he
doesn't start coping with that really soon, he's going to be one
fuck-dumb Robin out there, tonight.
*Exceedingly* sore.
*Fascinating* -- and he can't help knowing *exactly* what that word
means when Bruce says it, now. It's always going to be about *more*,
and harder, and --
And. Those last kisses with Bruce, after Tim
had gone to get the knife. The *feel* of them, like maybe they could be
just any two guys together -- no, that's not it.
Somehow,
*all* their history was in them, from Jason being a scared and angry
kid to Bruce being a fucking *pervert*. Batman and Robin and Bruce and
Jason and everything else, all at *once*, and still it had just felt --
good.
Easy. And it's not like everything that was freaking him
out is gone, now -- someday there will *be* another Robin, and then
Jason is gonna have to *watch* Bruce, just in case that kid isn't like
Tim and can't just *deal* with the fact that a forty year old superhero
wants his -- or her -- ass.
It's just that, right now, all the
endorphins and the general sense of *good* is crowding everything else
to the -- far -- edges of things. He can't get away from how good Bruce
*smells*, like maybe that warm feeling Bruce has been giving him for
years just kind of *needed* sex added to it, like --
He
doesn't know. He'd told Tim that they *had* to try living this one
moment at a time, and that's still the only thing that makes any kind
of sense. For now, he has a *grip* on Bruce, and he has Bruce's heat,
his crazy patchwork *skin*, smooth and smoother, like maybe if they
ever get around to *just* rubbing off on each other, Jason will go just
as crazy from it as he had from being *inside* Bruce --
Okay,
no, probably not that. Not -- damn. Just. Tim is *tight*, and so
fucking perfect for him he's sometimes wondered if the Birds didn't
give her *all* of his body stats to work with --
Is one of her toys Jason-sized?
Jason
grins at the thought of it, *wants* at the image in his head of fucking
her with that toy while she's got her head in his lap --
He
*knows* Bruce would love to see *that* -- and he grins a little wider.
Bruce sighs and shivers a little. Jason checks on Tim -- yeah, still
biting and sucking, though the tension in her jaw says she *might* be
biting harder. "Damn, baby. You marking him up or having him for
dinner?"
She opens her eyes and *looks* at him, not giving a
fucking *inch*. The look *probably* doesn't mean 'you're next,'
considering what time it is, but Jason's dick still takes the time to
let him know that more isn't happening right *now*.
He soothes it a little by dragging it against Bruce's back --
"Jay," he says, and it sounds like a whole damned paragraph of information about how *good* he feels and it sounds like a kiss.
Jason kisses the other side of Bruce's neck. "Yeah, B?"
Bruce strokes Jason's ass, strokes his way back to Jason's hip and squeezes -- "This closeness, the... intimacy..."
"Pretty damned sweet," Jason says, and squeezes Bruce's chest a little.
He
gets a sigh for it -- and a wet and kind of *dirty* sound from the work
Tim's putting in over there. God, there's just so much *of* Bruce, like
maybe they need to take a *day* to just go over his whole damned body,
marking here, touching there, *absolutely* sucking *there* --
"I
like this, B. It feels good. Right," and Bruce is stroking a little
ways up Jason's side, obviously trying to reach everywhere he *can* --
heh. "Hold on a second."
Bruce clutches a little when Jason
pulls back, but he doesn't try to move away from Tim, which is just
right. Jason walks around in front of him and crouches down.
"Shift over, baby. I *need* that other thigh."
She
makes a small agreeing sound and does it, and Bruce spreads his thighs
a little wider -- and smiles at Jason when he straddles.
"Jay."
"Right here, B," he says, and covers the hand Tim has on Bruce's chest, pushes it to make her start moving it --
Bruce takes a deep breath and licks his lips, and that --
Jason
pushes his other hand into Bruce's hair and leans in for a kiss, nice
and slow and easy. It feels like a kiss they could've had years ago,
simple and just -- good. *Warm*. That's not true -- just like how it's
not true that Jason had been wasting time -- but it feels true, anyway,
and that's what matters.
He can feel Bruce looking at him
through the kiss, maybe searching him a little -- that's *fair*.
Sometimes he trips over how *much* Tim loves and needs him, the way she
looks at him like he's the best thing that ever happened to her, that
ever *could* happen to her --
He pulls back enough to make the
kisses softer, a little more -- something. He doesn't have the words
for it, and he doesn't really care. Just -- he opens his eyes and Bruce
*is* staring at him, looking right down deep *into* him. Tim's looking,
too, but all he needs there is to squeeze her hand. "It's good," he
says, again, and after a moment Bruce nods, swallows, and reaches up to
touch Jason's face.
He's -- going to have one *hell* of a hickey to go with the welts on his wrists. Jason grins again and darts in to lick it --
Tim growls quietly --
"I know, I know, that's *your* side. But it's so *pretty*, baby --"
She bumps his arm with her shoulder, hard enough that he knows she's playing with him a little.
"I'm going, I'm --"
Getting
kissed, hard, and Bruce is cupping the back of his head with one hand
and stroking his chest with the other. It's the easiest thing in the
world to tug on Bruce's hair a little, tell him to keep *going* --
And
it's easier than that to push on Tim's hand until it's twined with his
own. She squeezes him, and it's just a small thing, something she does
all the *time*, but --
Maybe it's not just that. Maybe it's
everything, all at once, and how it can be just this *good*. Bruce
moans and keeps holding his head still for the kiss, keeps stroking him
--
Loving him, and the part of Jason which isn't *living* in
this kiss wants him to know that it *is* okay, that he's had a little
practice at being loved like this, and it's never not going to feel
good, like everything good in his life could disappear *except* for
this, and he'd still be okay, still be *home*.
He tugs on Tim's hand until she comes closer --
And
has absolutely no time to do *anything* before Bruce is kissing *her*
again, swallowing down that little surprised noise she pretty much only
makes for him. Something to be jealous *and* happy about it -- he loves
every last one of her noises, but if she's used to him needing her
*that* much... Jason grins and watches her get a little lost in the
kiss, relaxing all over and giving it *up* as she closes her eyes --
And
then Bruce is kissing him again, licking the underside of Jason's
tongue until he pushes it into Bruce's mouth and can catch those last
lingering hints of Tim's come --
God, Bruce had made her *want* it, made her stroke herself, squeeze her own sac, *show* them --
Yeah, he's not getting over this *anytime* soon. Heh.
Bruce
goes back and forth between them a few more times, but Jason can *feel*
Tim pulling back a little, doing that thing where she's not -- *quite*
-- with either of them, because she has things to do and every
intention of *doing* them. He's not surprised when she pushes back and
off after the fifth or sixth kiss, and Bruce isn't either, judging by
the rueful smile on his face.
"Callin' time, baby?"
Tim's
smile is sharp. "While I've come to be quite sure that Alfred *always*
knows what all of us are doing and when we're doing it... well. We all
need to eat a little bit and stretch out before patrol. And to
*shower*."
"Yeah, the criminals probably don't need to know
what our spunk smells like," he says, turning -- and yeah, Bruce's
mouth is a tight little twist that's *all* about Bruce continuing not
to deal with the stuff that comes out of Jason's mouth. *Heh*. Jason
leans in and licks Bruce's cheek, just because he can, and --
Okay,
yeah, he's getting lost in the look Bruce is giving him, a little. It
makes him think about Dick grabbing Bruce's legs and holding on through
the chin-ups, about the handful of times he's thrown Bruce, about Tim's
closet full of dresses --
It's kind of everything, and -- "Sometimes, B -- sometimes it's a little hard to breathe."
Bruce nods and doesn't look away even a *little*, which --
It's
better. A *lot* better. Jason smiles. "It's okay. And you know that
now," Jason says, and pats Bruce's chest before standing up and
offering him his hand.
Bruce takes it and stands. "It's more
accurate to say that I'm learning, I think." He turns to Tim. "For the
sake of vast understatement -- I'm enjoying the process a great deal."
"Noted," Tim says, and moves for the shower. Jason watches her walk -- and then watches *Bruce* watching her walk.
"Never stops being a nice view, B."
Bruce hums and smiles, squeezing Jason's shoulder.
They
finish cleaning up pretty quickly, and Alfred's at the conference table
with their pre-patrol meal. It was hard, at first, to only eat enough
to get *mostly* full, but a few nasty cramps on the street were enough
to teach Jason to deal. Neither Bruce nor Alfred ever really said
anything about it, and it's something Jason appreciated.
There
was just *always* food available to Jason, day or night, and there
still is -- even thought it's been a while since Jason's woken up
panicked and sure that *this* morning would be the one that Bruce would
tell him that he just wasn't working out.
Jason smiles to
himself and finishes up, leaving Bruce and Tim to eat like the
civilized people they are. Babs calls while Jason is doing his
stretches, and Bruce comes to help him out while Tim catches up and
goes over her assignments for the night -- and gets teased fucking
*mercilessly* by the sound he's totally not listening to even a little.
He's
never really been someone's *operative* the way Tim is, and mostly he's
okay with that. It gives him the freedom to do what *he* needs to do on
the streets, and he thinks that, in some ways at least, it's kept him
going when nothing else could.
Kept him *alive* in that way
which has nothing to do with physical safety and everything to do with
all the crap in his head. He *has* to start dealing with that now, and
even though a part of him will only be doing it because Bruce and Tim
need him to... well.
He was never built to be alone. Bruce
raises an eyebrow at him while pushing Jason's leg back to his chest a
little and Jason grins and shakes his head. He's all right for now, and
he thinks he has a pretty damned good chance of staying that way.
All of them do, really, and -- yeah.
Life's pretty fucking sweet.
end.
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